Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
THE BITS…
Jill Duggar, from the reality show “19 Kids & Counting,” is getting married and
says she and her fiancee won’t have their first kiss until their wedding day. Not
only that, they plan to wait until their 10th anniversary to have sex.
Jill Duggar, from the reality show “19 Kids & Counting,” is getting married and
says she and her fiancee won’t have their first kiss until their wedding day.
However, knowing that family, by then they’ll have their first baby.
Barbara Walters says that she won’t watch The View after she retires next month.
Coincidentally, David Letterman also says he doesn’t plan to watch The View after
he retires.
Former Teen Mom Farrah Abraham has written a book that could reportedly blow
the lid off the celebrity sex tape industry. It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve seen
Farrah blow something.
Former Teen Mom Farrah Abraham has written a book that could reportedly blow
the lid off the celebrity sex tape industry. This will be the second book that Farrah
has written, which is two more than she’s ever read.
Authorities have broken up a prostitution ring in Augusta, Georgia ahead of the
Masters golf tournament. I guess we now know the real reason Tiger Woods won’t
be there.
Authorities have broken up a prostitution ring in Augusta, Georgia ahead of the
Masters golf tournament. That means if you heard about some guys planning a
foursome for the Masters, they may not have been referring to golf.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
SON OF THE BITS…
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un reportedly had a deputy minister executed by
flamethrower. Hearing that just burns me up.
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un reportedly had a deputy minister executed by
flamethrower. That certainly brings new meaning to getting fired.
A new study blames laziness on junk food. The study would’ve been out sooner,
but the researchers were eating Cheetos.
A new study blames laziness on junk food. Ronald McDonald said he would
comment on the study after his nap.
It’s now reported that legalized marijuana could become an $8.2 billion retail
business by 2018. That’s amazing. I had no idea Miley Cyrus had so much money.
It’s reported that legalized marijuana could become an $8.2 billion retail business
by 2018, which is about the same amount spent on pet medications. Plus, with
marijuana you don’t have to wear one of those silly cones around your neck.
Last week, a woman in Brooklyn received three letters that were mailed in 1969.
That proves the post office’s efficiency is improving.
Last week, a woman in Brooklyn received three letters from 1969. Actually, it
only took them three days to deliver the letters, but the sender waited in line at the
post office for 45 years to buy stamps.
A pilot made an emergency landing at London’s Heathrow airport after 390 cows
he was transporting gave off too much heat and triggered an alarm. The pilot’s
efforts were described as ‘well done,’ as was the cargo.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
TODAY’S AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we have reality clips from Survivor and
American Idol, plus a late night round up with Dave, The Jimmys,
Craig, Seth and Conan.
Plus more from Ron Jordan and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at
BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at
BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne
Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or
amunos@unitedstations.com
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
Get ready for another population explosion as JILL DUGGAR, one of TLC’s “19
Kids & Counting,” is engaged to Derick Dillard. Derick popped the question
during a walk in the park with Jill’s sisters, Jana and Joy, and they were eventually
joined by a group of musicians that serenaded the couple. The couple held hands
for the first time on that day and say they won’t have their first kiss until their
wedding day. No word on whether they’ll graduate from side hugs to full frontal
hugs before the wedding.
There’s been another JUSTIN BIEBER and SELENA GOMEZ sighting! This one
took place at a Miami recording studio. For the record, Selena looked a little
wobbly, as she was clinging to another woman as she arrived. (See here)
Glee star NAYA RIVERA and fiance BIG SEAN have called off their
engagement. His rep tells Us Weekly, "After careful thought and much
consideration, Sean has made the difficult decision to call the wedding off. The
recent rumors and accusations reported by so called or fake sources are simply
untrue. Sean wishes Naya nothing but the best and it is still his hope that they can
continue to work through their issues privately." The rumors they referred to was a
Star magazine report that claimed Sean cheated on Naya, leading her to call off the
engagement. Word is that Sean is the one that called off the engagement because
he felt Naya was too jealous of the women he met on the road. An apparently jilted
Naya took to Twitter to accuse Sean of taking a Rolex watch from her. However,
word is that it was Sean's watch and that he let her wear it, but it wasn’t a gift.
Vivid Entertainment is reportedly sweating FARRAH ABRAHAM'S upcoming
book. Word is that it could blow the lid off the celebrity sex tape industry and
Vivid has sent a letter demanding that she keep her lips sealed. If Farrah blabs
about how the porn company woos and signs celebrity talent it could cost them
millions. They’re especially worried that Farrah could reveal how her tape with
porn star JAMES DEEN was arranged and not accidentally leaked.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
AMANDA BYNES asked her lawyer to clear up a few things about her mental
health. He says that Amanda doesn’t have schizophrenia, nor has she ever been
diagnosed with it. He also said Amanda currently is on zero medication, has never
had a history of abusing alcohol or hard drugs, and is proud to say she's been
marijuana-free for the past nine months. Amanda’s mom echoed those statements
and says her history of unusual behavior was caused by smoking marijuana.
JESSE MCCARTNEY celebrated his 27th birthday by performing at The Pool
After Dark at Harrah's in Atlantic City on Monday night. Unfortunately, he was
hanging with the wrong crowd as his pals were slamming shots all night until they
were cut off. At one point they were so out of it they were doing shots of club
soda, thinking it was vodka. Jesse wasn’t drinking and apologized to the club's
owner and tried to make good by taking selfies with fans after the show.
JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS appears naked on the upcoming issue of Rolling Stone
magazine with a presumably fake tattoo of the U.S. Constitution on her back. We
can only hope for her sake that it’s fake. Those who took their eyes off Julia’s butt
crack for a second noticed a major oops. The U.S. Constitution on her back is
signed by John Hancock. The problem is Hancock signed the Declaration of
Independence, not the Constitution. Julia jokingly blamed the goof on Mike
McClintock, the fictional "Veep" character played by Matt Walsh who serves as
communications director to her Vice President Selina Meyer character. Julia
tweeted: "Yet another Mike (expletive)-up. Dummy."
Former “Dancing with the Stars” co-host SAMANTHA HARRIS is battling breast
cancer and will undergo a double mastectomy. Harris detected a lump last fall and
after consulting with three specialists, Harris was given two options: a double
mastectomy or a second lumpectomy accompanied with radiation.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 3…
An autopsy on PEACHES GELDOF was inconclusive and toxicology tests will be
conducted in an attempt to determine what caused her death. The toxicology report
could take several weeks. As of now, police are treating her death as nonsuspicious but unexplained.
Sources say ULTIMATE WARRIOR looked like he was in constant pain last
weekend at his WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony. They say he appeared
sweaty and looked very uncomfortable and when he did his signature rope shake
after his speech on Monday Night Raw, he looked weak. Eerily, during his speech,
he said: "Every man's heart one day beats its final beat. His lungs breathe a final
breath." Word has it that the Ultimate Warrior clutched his chest moments before
he collapsed at an Arizona hotel Tuesday afternoon. At this point all signs point to
a massive heart attack, but the subject of steroid use is bound to come up.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
Model KATHERINE WEBB and football player fiancé AJ MCCARRON are
reportedly getting their own reality show, which may include a televised wedding.
However, their wedding is coming up in July and that may not leave enough time
to put all the pieces into place.
DRAKE will host this year’s ESPY Awards on July 16th. Word is that Drake’s
recent performance on Saturday Night Live sealed the deal for him.
The FXX channel will have a SIMPSONS marathon in which they’ll air all 552
episodes over 12 days. The pilot episode will kick things off on August 21st, with
the marathon continuing into Labor Day.
Dates for THE VOICE 2014 Tour have been announced. The 31-city tour kicks off
June 21st in at San Antonio. This season's winner, second place and third place
contestants are all guaranteed to be there along with a handful of favorites from
previous seasons.
TINA FEY and AMY POEHLER will co-star as sisters in a new movie called
“The Nest.” In the film, the sisters are devastated to find out their parents are
selling the house they grew up in, so they decide to spend one last wild weekend in
their childhood home.
Hollywood is remembering legendary actor MICKEY ROONEY, but news
anchors...not so much! As Jimmy Kimmel discovered, many of the news people
confused Mickey Rooney with Andy Rooney. (See here)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES…
Here are last week’s top 10 albums (with sales figures) according to Billboard
magazine…
1. Soundtrack - Frozen - 149,000
2. 5 Seconds of Summer - She Looks So Perfect - 143,000
3. Chevelle - La Gargola - 45,000
4. Christina Perri - Head or Heart - 40,000
5. Shakira - Shakira - 29,000
6. Dan + Shay - Where It All Began - 28,000
7. Nickel Creek - A Dotted Line - 27,000
8. Johnny Cash - Out Among the Stars - 26,000
9. Pharrell - G I R L - 25,000
10. Various - Now 49 - 20,000
LORDE and IMAGINE DRAGONS lead the way with 12 nominations each for
the Billboard Music Awards. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE is close behind with 11
nominations. The 2014 Billboard Music Awards will air live on ABC May 18th.
There’s some buzz that JOAN JETT may front NIRVANA when they perform at
tonight’s Rock And Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony.
Not only will SMASHING PUMPKINS release two new albums in 2015, frontman
Billy Corgan has revealed that a separate, more experimental album called
AEGEA has been recorded and will be released in the next couple months. The
two-record set was actually recorded in 2007 and will only initially be pressed in a
set of 250 vinyl copies, each one "hand-numbered and annotated" by Corgan
himself and sold for $60.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES 2…
A documentary called LED ZEPPELIN Played Here, about a gig they may or may
not have played on January 20th, 1969, at a suburban Maryland gymnasium, has
several screenings coming up. You can find a showing near you at
LedZeppelinPlayedHere.com.
ED SHEERAN has revealed the track list to his upcoming album, "x." There’ll be
regular and deluxe editions and you can pre-order starting tomorrow.
LILY ALLEN tweaked off parents over the weekend when she uploaded a naked
photo of herself on Instagram. While it may be surprising that parents follow Lily
on Instagram, she did have all of her naughty bits covered. Still it generated
comments such as, "If Lily Allen is going to post pictures like that, she needs to
stop using Instagram, and get a Facebook. It's obscene. Kids use Instagram, and
they do not want to see that!" Okay, maybe out of touch parents follow her.
Federal court records show that 50 CENT has been ordered to pay a Bradenton,
Florida earphone maker more than $16 million over a failed partnership to produce
Fiddy’s line of headphones. Apparently, 50 stole the headphone designs from the
company and then took them to another manufacturer.
KELLIE PICKLER is auctioning off the Pandora charm bracelets she wore to the
ACM Awards to raise funds for ACM Lifting Lives. That’s the Academy’s charity
dedicated to improving lives through the power of music. You can get your bids in
at CharityBuzz.com through April 21st.
CRAIG MORGAN is set to make his eleventh overseas tour to entertain U.S.
troops. Morgan will travel with Armed Forces Entertainment and Stars For Stripes
to perform a series of acoustic shows in Southwest Asia this spring.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES 3…
ERIC CHURCH announced that his Outsiders World Tour will kick off in Bossier
City, Louisiana on September 11th. DWIGHT YOAKAM is also on board. (See
tour announcement here)
DAN SMYERS of DAN + SHAY was in a car accident in Nashville on Tuesday
and spent several hours at Vanderbilt Hospital having his injured wrist put in a
cast, which he posted a photo of on Facebook.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
TUBULAR…
Daytime:
GMA: Kevin Costner; actor Colin Firth
CBS This Morning: Actress Allison Janney
Today: Tracy Morgan; Fitz and the Tantrums perform; actress Goldie Hawn
Kelly & Michael: Kevin Costner (``Draft Day''); Tracy Morgan (``Rio 2'')
The View: Actor Denis Leary
The Talk: Actor Patrick Duffy; actress Pam Dawber; chef Cat Cora
Queen Latifah: Actress Felicity Huffman; Alexander Ludwig (``The Hunger
Games''); REO Speedwagon performs
Ellen: Zooey Deschanel; Pharrell Williams performs
Primetime:
CBS: Mork and Mindy reunite as Pam Dawber guest stars on Robin Williams’ The
Crazy Ones
Fox: Hell’s Kitchen’s Top 16 compete; plus the American Idol Results Show
ESPN: Masters golf coverage
TNT: NBA hoops Spurs at Mavericks and Nuggets at Warriors
NBC Sports: NHL hockey Blues at Wild
Late Night:
Jimmy Kimmel: Seth MacFarlane; Sam Smith performs
David Letterman: Actor Zach Braff
Jimmy Fallon: Kevin Costner; actress Danica McKellar; Alan Cumming and the
cast of ``Cabaret'' perform; Philip Bailey performs with The Roots
Craig Ferguson: Actor Morgan Freeman
Seth Meyers: Actress Edie Falco; actor Marlon Wayans
Conan: Hockey’s Wayne Gretzky (R)
Arsenio: Anthony Mackie (Captain America: The Winter Soldier); SoMo performs
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Thursday,
May
April29th,
10th,2009
2014
THE WATERCOOLER…
A 16-year-old boy armed himself with two kitchen knives and stabbed and slashed
21 students and a security guard yesterday at his suburban Pittsburgh high school
before an assistant principal tackled him. At least five students were critically
wounded, including a boy whose liver was pierced, narrowly missing his heart and
aorta. The suspect was treated for a minor hand wound before being taken to court
in shackles and a hospital gown and charged with four counts of attempted
homicide and 21 counts of aggravated assault. He’s being held without bail and
will be prosecuted as an adult. Students called the attacker a shy boy who largely
kept to himself, while others said he’d been bullied.
A hit-and-run driver sent another vehicle crashing into a day care center in Orlando
yesterday, killing one child and injuring 11 other children and three adults.
Authorities are seeking an ex-convict linked to the SUV that caused the crash.
They described the ex-con as "dangerous," saying he served time for cocaine
trafficking and is out on bail on charges involving drugs and hit-and-run.
It’s now reported that legalized marijuana could become an $8.2 billion retail
business by 2018. That's a 33% jump over earlier forecasts and a five-fold increase
over expected 2014 retail and medical sales. According to Marijuana Business
Daily, the $8.2 billion sales estimate could be conservative and doesn't include
wholesale revenue or marijuana-related products. To put it in perspective, $8
billion in annual sales is about the same spent every year in the U.S. on pet
medications and worldwide for premium chocolate.
Here’s a good reason to move to France. A new legally-binding deal has been
agreed to there that forbids work-related emails from being sent after 6pm. The
agreement between tech industry employers and French unions means around one
million workers will no longer have to answer to their employers' electronic
communications off the clock.
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Thursday,
May
April29th,
10th,2009
2014
THE WATERCOOLER 2…
Congratulations, you lazy, no-good bum…you can now blame laziness on junk
food! Researchers at UCLA conducted experiments that suggest laziness doesn’t
lead to weight gain, but instead it’s the other way around. In other words, if you
wolf down the junk food, you get fat and when you get fat you get lazy. The
researchers conducted an experiment where they fed groups of rats both healthy
diets and junk food. The obese rats took significantly longer breaks between
attempts to get their rewards, and would give up altogether sooner than the healthy
rats. In addition to the obvious weight gain, they say the junk food also changed
the rats' brain chemistry, making them lazy.
Do you talk on your cell phone in public? If so, you’re a jerk! Researchers
recently conducted a study to determine whether people talking on their cell phone
would be less likely to help someone in need. They carried out the test by having a
person wearing a leg brace drop a stack of magazines. Only 9 percent of the people
on the phone offered any help as opposed to 72 percent not on the phone who
offered assistance. Based on this, researchers concluded that use of cell phones
affects helping behavior.
Math blogger Alex Bellos decided to find out what the world’s favorite number is.
He set up a website called FavouriteNumber.net and got over 30,000 responses.
Nearly half of the respondents chose a number between one and 10. The favorite
number turned out to be 7. Bellos says our seven obsession dates back to Babylon
where the earliest writers used sevens more than any other number. The most
popular reason given for selecting a number was that it was their birthday.
San Francisco attorneys Bambo Obaro and Janice Jentz are going viral with their
wedding save-the-date video. The epic video features helicopter rides over San
Francisco at night, formal-wear, gowns, Bollywood style choreography and more.
(See here)
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Thursday,
May
April29th,
10th,2009
2014
THE WATERCOOLER 3…
Buffalo restaurant owner Louis J. Billittier Jr. called off his engagement to fiancé,
Christa M. Clark via text message back in July of 2012 because she wouldn't sign a
pre-nuptial agreement. Still, Christa has walked away from the relationship
$53,000 richer. Thanks to their exchange of text messages, a judge has ruled that
Christa gets to keep her pricey engagement ring. In those texts, Louis tried to
smooth things over by telling Christa, "Plus you get a $50,000 parting ring.
Enough for a down payment on a house." After Louis had to time to think it over,
he asked for the ring back, but Christa hung onto it and now, thanks to Louis’ text
message, she gets to keep it.
We've all seen the stickers of the stick figure families on cars, but now some of the
more overly cautious types are warning they could be giving bad guys too much
information about your family. For example, the stick figure family can give
approximate ages of your kids, their interests and sometimes their names. They can
also reveal what you do for a living or if a parent is away on military deployment.
They also say your parking permit could tell a criminal where and when you work
and when you won't be home.
Forget Candy Crush and Flappy Birds because you can now play Crackathon! The
cell phone game features a digital version of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford filled with
real audio clips of Ford from interviews and press conferences. Players collect
"party points" by picking up marijuana leafs, crack pipes and bottles of booze
while trying to keep the mayor's "public opinion" from reaching zero. Players who
fail are met with a "You Are Impeached" message.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
SPORTS SHIRT…
UMass guard Derrick Gordon has made history by becoming the first openly gay
active men's player in NCAA Division I basketball. Gordon first came out to his
teammates last week with the support of his coach Derek Kellogg. Gordon said his
teammates were "not surprised" and immediately expressed their support.
Kansas freshman center Joel Embiid has announced that he’ll enter the NBA draft.
The 7-foot Cameroon native averaged 11.2 points, 8.1 rebounds and 2.6 blocks this
past season.
Kentucky freshman forward Julius Randle reportedly plans to skip his final three
seasons of eligibility and enter the NBA Draft. However, Randle quickly denied
that report via Twitter saying he hasn’t made up his mind yet.
The Angels’ Josh Hamilton could be out for up to two months with a torn ligament
in his left thumb. Hamilton injured his thumb while attempting to beat out an
infield grounder with a headfirst slide into first base.
Next year’s Pro Bowl will be played in Arizona at the site of the Super Bowl.
However, the game will return to Hawaii the following year.
Linebacker Brandon Spikes has apparently taken one too many hits to the head and
tweeted yesterday about how his time with the New England Patriots was like four
years of slavery. Spikes was a second-round draft pick who signed a four-year,
$3.21 million contract with the Patriots in 2010 that included a reported $960,000
signing bonus.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
Scoreboard
MLB:
Oakland 7 Minnesota 4 Final 11
Kansas City 7 Tampa Bay 3 Final
Boston 4 Texas 2 Final
Baltimore 5 N.Y. Yankees 4 Final
Toronto 7 Houston 3 Final
L.A. Angels 2 Seattle 0 Final
Cincinnati 4 St. Louis 0 Final
Washington 10 Miami 7 Final
Milwaukee 9 Philadelphia 4 Final
Atlanta 4 N.Y. Mets 3 Final
Chi. Cubs 7 Pittsburgh 5 Final
Arizona 7 San Francisco 3 Final
Cleveland 2 San Diego 0 Final
Colorado 10 Chi. White Sox 4 Final
San Diego 2 Cleveland 1 Final
Detroit 7 L.A. Dodgers 6 Final 10
NBA:
Cleveland 122 Detroit 100 Final
Orlando 115 Brooklyn 111 Final
Toronto 125 Philadelphia 114 Final
Charlotte 94 Washington 88 Final OT
Atlanta 105 Boston 97 Final
Memphis 107 Miami 102 Final
Indiana 104 Milwaukee 102 Final
Chicago 102 Minnesota 87 Final
Phoenix 94 New Orleans 88 Final
Denver 123 Houston 116 Final
Portland 100 Sacramento 99 Final
Ok City 107 L.A. Clippers 101 Final
NHL:
Chicago 3 Montreal 2 Final OT
Pittsburgh 4 Detroit 3 Final SO
Columbus 3 Dallas 1 Final
Calgary 4 Los Angeles 3 Final SO
Anaheim 5 San Jose 2 Final
Today’s Games
MLB:
Oakland at Minnesota
1:10 PM
Pittsburgh at Chicago Cubs 2:20 PM
Miami at Washington
4:05 PM
Boston at NY Yankees
7:05 PM
Milwaukee at Philadelphia 7:05 PM
Houston at Toronto 7:07 PM
NY Mets at Atlanta 7:10 PM
Cleveland at Chi Sox
8:10 PM
Arizona at San Francisco 10:15 PM
NBA:
San Antonio at Dallas
Denver at Golden State
8:00 PM
10:30 PM
NHL:
Buffalo at NY Rangers
7:00 PM
Washington at Carolina
7:00 PM
NY Islanders at Montreal 7:30 PM
New Jersey at Ottawa
7:30 PM
Philadelphia at Tampa Bay 7:30 PM
Toronto at Florida 7:30 PM
Phoenix at Nashville
8:00 PM
St. Louis at Minnesota
8:00 PM
Boston at Winnipeg 8:00 PM
Los Angeles at Edmonton 9:30 PM
Colorado at Vancouver
10:00 PM
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
DUH…
New York’s 30-year-old Shieed Haniff was recently busted for DUI, reckless
driving and refusing to take a breath test and had his license revoked. The incident
began when Haniff was stopped in Brooklyn. Apparently not wanting to chat with
officers, he sped off, promptly plowing through a traffic stop, forcing officers to
jump out of the way before he hit a car, made a u-turn and crashed into another
vehicle. The officers may have recognized Haniff as he was a seven-year NYPD
veteran that likely won’t make it to year number eight.
When police in Livermore Falls, Maine recently pulled over Douglas Glidden, he
attempted to flee, perhaps because he was on probation, but soon pulled over. By
the time the evening was over, Glidden was charged with felony operating under
the influence, theft by unauthorized taking or transfer and violating condition of
release. He was also charged with operating with a suspended or revoked license
and possession of a useable amount of marijuana. However, Glidden claimed the
marijuana wasn’t his, but belonged to the owner of the car he had stolen.
When police in Manchester, England raided the home of suspected drug dealer
Nicholas Waine, they found he and his partners sitting around a large tub filled
with cocaine. Police say the men’s fingerprints were all over the drugs and
paraphernalia. Nicholas was also nice enough to aid police in their investigation by
taking photos of himself with his stash of illegal drugs on the cell phone they
seized as evidence.
Todd J. Weiss and Justin G. Evans were caught stealing a TV and other items from
a Maplewood, Minnesota auto repair shop. While Weiss declined to speak to
police after he was read his rights, Evans said he’d taken more than a dozen Xanax
and had been behind nearby apartments having relations with his girlfriend. Both
men had prior criminal histories, including burglary and theft, but might’ve gotten
away with it this time had their cell phone’s emergency feature not kicked in and
dialed 911, allowing the dispatcher to overhear them planning their crime.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
MO’ DUH…
Decatur, Georgia’s 44-year-old James Earl Johnson showed up in court for his DUI
sentencing Tuesday morning. Unfortunately, Johnson did so while drunk. After
being sentenced to 60 days in jail, Johnson hopped in his truck and fled with police
in hot pursuit. When they finally caught up with Johnson, he began fighting with
the officers. The fight ended when Johnson was Tasered and he now faces
additional charges of the non-Taser variety.
Robert T. McDonald was cruising around Phoenix in his Corvette when he stuck
his arm out the window while holding a handgun and pointed it at a man in another
vehicle before driving off. Unfortunately for Robert, that other man was a plain
clothes police officer and he and some of his co-workers gave chase. As other
officers arrived and took Robert into custody he told them that he didn't realize he
was pointing his gun at a police officer.
Florida Highway Patrol troopers arrested 23-year-old Colby Yandow and 35-yearold Kenneth Jackson on battery charges after the two got into an argument. Police
noted that Colby is a trans-gender individual who has completed his sexual
reassignment surgery, but has not updated his driver's license information to reflect
such. Kenneth claimed Colby hit him in the head with a golf club after they had an
argument about pulling into a rest area, while Colby claimed that she hit Jackson in
self-defense after being punched in the face. From the ‘you think your relationship
is complicated’ file, it was noted that they live together and, yes, smelled of booze.
Lincoln, Nebraska police arrested 68-year-old Steven Preister after he followed
four teenage girls down a hotel hallway while wearing only a T-shirt, pursuing
them to their room where he prevented them from closing the door while
continuing to berate them. Ironically, guests say the mostly nude Preister was
yelling at the girls for being too loud. Yes, police note Preister was drinking before
his arrest for suspicion of public nudity and disturbing the peace. Even more
ironically, it could affect his job with the National Child Welfare Resource Center.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
April 10th, 2014
HISTORY LESSON…
1912: The Titanic set sail on its ill-fated maiden voyage
1916: The PGA held its first golf tournament, won by Jim Barnes, at Bronxville,
New York
1925: The novel The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald, was first published
1953: The first 3-D movie, Vincent Price’s House of Wax, premiered in New York
1956: Nat King Cole was beaten onstage by racists in Birmingham, Alabama
1961: South Africa's Gary Player became the first foreign golfer to win the Masters
1970: Paul McCartney announced he was leaving the Beatles
1992: Comedian Sam Kinison was killed in a car crash near Needles, California
1999: The Miami Heat held the Chicago Bulls to 49 points, the lowest score ever
in an NBA game since the shot-clock was introduced
Birthday Partiers:
actor Max Von Sydow (The Exorcist, Minority Report, Judge Dredd) 85
actor Omar Sharif (Dr. Zhivago, Funny Girl, Che!) 82
sportscaster John Madden 78
actor Steven Seagal (Hard To Kill, Under Siege, On Deadly Ground) 63
actor Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy's Jax) 34
actress Chyler Leigh (Grey's Anatomy's Dr. Lexie Grey) 32
singer/actress Mandy Moore (The Princess Diaries, License to Wed, Saved) 30
actor Haley Joel Osment (The Sixth Sense, Pay It Forward, Artificial Intelligence)
26