Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
THE BITS…
A U.S. congressional delegation traveled to Russia to look for clues in the Boston
Marathon attacks with actor Steven Seagal. Apparently Jean-Claude van Damme
was unavailable.
Convicted killer Joran van der Sloot is engaged to a Peruvian woman and will be
married this month. That means he's been given two life sentences.
Convicted murderer Joran van der Sloot is engaged to a Peruvian woman and will
be married this month. It's not surprising because they say he's a real lady killer.
Last night Kim Kardashian revealed on Keeping up With the Kardashians that
she's having a baby girl. It seems so unlike Kim to take such a personal moment in
a woman's life and exploit it for publicity purposes.
Despite rumors, Cameron Diaz isn't dating Tesla Motors founder Elon Musk.
Apparently Cameron got tired of him always wanting her to plug him in.
Amanda Bynes has reportedly been kicked out of her New York City apartment.
Amanda's new place is pretty nice. All the walls are padded.
Philip Seymour Hoffman has completed a brief and successful stay in rehab.
Hoffman kicked his drug addiction and got a date with Lindsay Lohan.
The new Will and Jaden Smith movie After Earth bombed at the box office. In
fact, the movie is so bad that Jaden is asking to be emancipated from it.
The new Will and Jaden Smith movie After Earth bombed at the box office. It's
about a man who returns to Earth 1,000 years after everyone has fled the planet to
avoid seeing a movie called After Earth.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
SON OF THE BITS…
Courtney Love has hinted that she's in the running to be a reality show judge.
Rumor has it Courtney will be a judge on So You Think You Can Overdose.
Courtney Love has hinted that she's in the running to be a reality show judge. No
word on which reality show it is, but it's the first time the words 'Courtney Love'
and 'reality' have been used in the same sentence.
Napster co-founder Sean Parker got married on Saturday. Unfortunately, Parker
was arrested during the ceremony for illegally downloading the wedding march.
Michael Douglas has revealed that his throat cancer was caused by performing oral
sex. That could explain why Matt Damon was so eager to star with him in that
Liberace movie.
Justin Bieber's security people have told police that someone else was driving his
car when it raced through his gated community on Memorial Day. They say Justin
couldn't have been driving his Ferrari because he can't reach the pedals.
The New York Yankees honored a baseball fan who claimed to be 111 years old.
Not only that, the Yankees also signed him to a three-year contract.
Fox apologized to NASCAR drivers for a cable snafu during the Memorial Day
weekend race. Fox says it was their biggest cable snafu since hiring Sarah Palin.
A new survey from the dating website IllicitEncounters.com finds that Audi
drivers are more likely to be unfaithful than owners of other cars. They also found
that Audis are the cars most often won in divorce settlements.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
TODAY’S BITMAN AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we clips from the Women for Change
concert special; plus drama with Mad Men and Game of Thrones, and
reality schlock with Real Housewives and the Kardashians.
Plus more from Ron Jordan and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at
BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at
BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Julie Bell at
United Stations Radio Network at 703-771-7763 or
juliebell@unitedstations.com
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
AMANDA BYNES was reportedly been kicked out of her New York City
apartment. In Touch Weekly says that last Tuesday night movers showed up and
removed Amanda’s belongings. A source tells the magazine, “Even before her
arrest, residents had constant complaints about the smell of marijuana coming from
her apartment. She had also cursed out residents and the doormen, and the smell of
pot from her apartment was really annoying people.” Amanda got into another
Twitter feud, this time with RuPaul. Amanda tweeted, "My dad is as ugly as
RuPaul! So thankful I look nothing like you both! I had nose surgery after my mug
shots so my nose and I are gorgeous!" RuPaul responded, "Derogatory slurs are
ALWAYS an outward projection of a person's own poisonous self-loathing
@AmandaBynes." Yes, Amanda did get a nose job over the weekend and told
TMZ, "I have no bandage on. It's healing on its own like my doctor asked." She
also said she planned to get another one in three weeks.
LINDSAY LOHAN'S family counseling session that was planned for this past
weekend at the Betty Ford Center was scrubbed. Her parents, Michael and Dina,
had a nasty blowout while taping a new TV talk show when Dina refused to take
the show's mandatory lie detector and urine tests. The Lohan's were reportedly paid
for their appearance, and perhaps for getting down and dirty on the show.
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN managed to slip in and out of rehab undetected a
couple weeks ago. Hoffman had struggled with substance abuse in his early days,
but kicked the habit for 23 years until fell off the wagon last year. When it
escalated to snorting heroin he knew he needed help, so he checked himself into a
rehab facility on the East Coast for 10 days. Hoffman checked out last Friday and
is already back working on a movie set in Europe.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
JUSTIN BIEBER'S security people have told cops that they have video showing
Tyler, the Creator was really behind the wheel of Justin's car as it was being raced
through his gated community on Memorial Day. However, they have yet to turn
the video over and it contradicts several eye witnesses that say Bieber was driving.
One of those witnesses was Keyshawn Johnson and he tells TMZ that when he
confronted Justin, he said he just got into the driver's seat in the driveway to park
the car in the garage. However, Keyshawn is calling Bieber out saying he saw
Justin driving adding, "You got a 19-year-old kid...feeling entitled...speeding up
and down the highway...that's why all the neighbors is mad...You can't do that."
(More on Justin in Music Notes)
Actress and singer PIA ZADORA was arrested Saturday after a six-hour standoff
with police at her Las Vegas home. Pia was booked on charges of domestic battery
and misdemeanor coercion. Police didn't release the name of the victim, but she
has been married to Las Vegas police detective Michael Jefferies since 2005. They
met after she contacted police to report a stalking incident.
MICHAEL DOUGLAS has revealed that his throat cancer was caused by
performing oral sex. Douglas told The Guardian that his particular cancer was
caused by HPV, which came about from performing the act on an unnamed female
and Douglas also noted that said act is also the best cure for it, although his doctor
disputed that last claim.
ANGELINA JOLIE made her first post-double mastectomy public appearance at
the world premiere of BRAD PITT'S ‘World War Z’ in London over the weekend.
ETHAN HAWKE says his best onscreen kiss happened in the 2004 thriller
“Taking Lives.” Hawke told the TV show Watch What Happens Live, “The best
onscreen kiss I ever had was Angelina Jolie…Angelina Jolie was born to whittle
men, to make them weak. And when she kisses you, you don’t know your name.”
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 3…
Last night KIM KARDASHIAN revealed on Keeping up With the Kardashians
that she and KANYE WEST are having a baby girl. It wasn't a huge surprise as the
tabloids had turned up a number of clues that a daughter was on the way.
CHANNING TATUM and his actress wife JENNA DEWAN-TATUM welcomed
their first child on Thursday in London where he's shooting the new movie “Jupiter
Ascending.” No word on a name or even the child's gender as of yet.
In case you were wondering, MILEY CYRUS wore her engagement ring to a
video shoot in Los Angeles last Thursday. Miley also posted a photo on Twitter
where she was seen wearing what might be a wedding dress.
In case you're wondering, CAMERON DIAZ isn't dating Tesla Motors founder
Elon Musk. It was Musk that told CNBC. "I don't know where people got that
from." However, Diaz did buy a Tesla electric sports car earlier this year.
Actress LAKE BELL and tattoo artist Scott Campbell were married on Saturday in
New Orleans. Guests at the wedding included Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux,
Cameron Diaz, Eva Longoria, Alicia Silverstone, Josh Hartnett and Kate
Bosworth.
Former “AMERICAN IDOL” finalists ACE YOUNG and DIANA DEGARMO
got married in Los Angeles on Saturday night. The couple met while performing
in a Broadway revival of “Hair” and the 250 guests included fellow “Idol” finalists
Michael Johns, Kevin Covais and Elliot Yamin. The newlyweds even recorded an
original song, called “I Do,” for their first dance. Ace proposed to Diana on stage
during the “American Idol” Season 11 finale.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 4…
RIHANNA topped the list of Complex's "100 Hottest Women Right Now," ahead
of Alison Brie, Jennifer Lawrence, and Beyonce. Meanwhile, the staff at Fuzz Wax
Bar in Toronto tells The Daily Star that Rihanna came in for a Brazilian wax and
told them that she didn't want any numbing cream because she loves the pain. They
say Rihanna never screamed during the wax adding, "She was singing and
humming songs all through the treatment. None of us could stop laughing."
The mystery behind DICK VAN DYKE'S neurological disorder has apparently
been solved and it looks like the National Enquirer can take him off their death
watch. Van Dyke says the cause of his pounding headaches were his titanium
dental implants.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
This Weekend’s Top 10 Movies…
1. "Fast & Furious 6," $34.5 million
2. "Now You See Me," $28.05 million.
3. "After Earth," $27 million.
4. (tie) "Epic," $16.4 million.
4. (tie) "Star Trek: Into Darkness," $16.4 million.
5. "The Hangover Part III," $15.9 million.
6. "Iron Man 3," $8 million.
7. "The Great Gatsby," $6.3 million.
8. "Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani," $1.6 million.
9. "Mud," $1.2 million.
10. "The Croods," $615,000.
SUBURGATORY'S ALAN TUDYK and REX LEE won't be back next season,
apparently due to budget cuts. Not only that, they say JANE LEVY, JEREMY
SISTO, CHERYL HINES, CARLY CHAIKIN, ANA GASTEYER and ALLIE
GRANT may have their roles reduced.
ASHLEY MADEKWE has reportedly been axed from the drama series Revenge.
COURTNEY LOVE has hinted that she's in the running to be a reality show judge.
Love said it was just about a done deal, but she couldn't reveal which show it is,
although American Idol seems to be the only show actively looking for new judges
at this time. Of course, Courtney also says her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, was
offered the role of Bella in Twilight, but she turned it down after reading the script
and calling it, 'A sexist, Mormon piece of sh-t!'
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD 2…
TRACY MORGAN will star in a sitcom pilot for FX called Death Pact, where he'll
play a lackadaisical pot dealer and assistant high school coach who returns home as
a celebrated war hero.
JEAN STAPLETON, best remembered as Edith Bunker from "All in the Family,"
died Friday of natural causes at her New York City home at the age of 90.
Stapleton received eight Emmy nominations and won three times during the show's
eight-year run. Stapleton also earned Emmy nominations for playing Eleanor
Roosevelt in the 1982 film "Eleanor, First Lady of the World" and for a guest
appearance in 1995 on "Grace Under Fire."
The Discovery Channel's STORM CHASERS stars TIM SAMARAS and CARL
YOUNG along with Samaras' son, Paul, were killed while chasing a tornado in the
city of El Reno, Oklahoma on Friday.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
MUSIC NOTES…
THOM YORKE and the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS' FLEA are kicking off a
world tour with their band ATOMS FOR PEACE this summer. The band's 27-date
tour begins in July in Europe before coming to the U.S. in September.
AS I LAY DYING frontman TIM LAMBESIS has made bail after a judge reduced
it from $3 million to $2 million. Lambesis is accused of trying to hire someone to
kill his estranged wife. Lambesis has to wear a GPS monitor, is subject to strict
travel restrictions and must stay away from his wife and children.
LOU REED is recovering after undergoing a life-saving liver transplant. Reed was
said to be dying before the operation several weeks ago at Ohio's Cleveland
Clinic. Laurie Anderson says that while Reed isn't back to full strength, he's
already working and doing t'ai chi.
The New York state Senate passed a bill designating a section of Route 375 in
Woodstock as the LEVON HELM Memorial Boulevard in honor of the late
drummer for THE BAND.
BILLY JOEL returned to his Queens high school last Thursday where he surprised
students with a mini-concert and Q&A session. Joel told students that he used to
love cutting class to play the piano, that his biggest mistake was signing contracts
he didn’t understand and joked that his favorite collaborator was Elle McPherson,
whom he dated in the 1980s.
Condolences to BRUNO MARS, whose mother died of a brain aneurysm on
Saturday in Hawaii. Bruno's mother was 55 years old.
JERMAINE JACKSON says he's been scouting locations for a 5-star hotel that he
wants to call "Jermajesty," after one of his sons, and he says it could possibly be in
Abu Dhabi or China.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
MUSIC NOTES 2…
JUSTIN BIEBER is sporting some new ink. Bieber's latest tattoo is a picture of a
knight on the inner side of his left arm.
THE WANTED has challenged ONE DIRECTION to a 5-on-5 boxing match for
charity. The Wanted's Max George says it would not only raise money for a good
cause, it would finally settle any beef between the bands.
Police in Waterbury, Connecticut have arrested some creepy 45-year-old dude
that's allegedly been posing as ONE DIRECTION'S HARRY STYLES and getting
underage girls to perform sex acts on their webcams.
We now know that LADY GAGA is back in the studio because she posted a photo
of herself in the control room with songwriting pal Dallas Austin. Lady G was nice
enough to flip the bird at the camera.
BIG BOI was performing at the Summer Camp Festival in Chillicothe, Illinois,
over the weekend when he jumped in the air and landed wrong. He was seen
mouthing "my knee, my knee" before limping to the back of the stage. Big Boi
says he'll be out of action for six weeks and will have to reschedule the remaining
dates on his Shoes for Running Tour. (See leap here)
BLAKE SHELTON'S Healing in the Heartland benefit concert raised more than $6
million in pledges and ticket sales for the United Way of Central Oklahoma's May
Tornadoes Relief Fund.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD will release a concert DVD on August 13th called "The
Blown Away Tour: Live". The concert was filmed in March in Ontario, Canada
and includes over 20 songs, along with bonus clips, behind-the-scenes video, and
much more. You can pre-order now.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
MUSIC NOTES 3…
GARTH BROOKS has announced another set of concert dates over the
Independence Day weekend at the Encore Theater at Wynn Las Vegas. If you can't
be there, the concerts will be filmed for a TV special and will be available on DVD
and Blue Ray.
A new COURT YARD HOUNDS album is on the way. Sisters Emily Robison and
Martie Maguire announced that they'll release "Amelita" on July 16th.
KATIE ARMIGER’S little black dress has been inducted into the Hard Rock
Cafe’s Hard Rock Memorabilia Collection in Las Vegas. It's the dress Katie wore
when she performed at the Grand Ole Opry in August 2012 on the night her
“Better In A Black Dress” music video went to No. 1.
The new JOHNNY CASH postage stamp will be issued on Wednesday in
Nashville and will be available the next day at post offices nationwide.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
TUBULAR…
Daytime:
GMA: Talk, News
CBS This Morning: Banking analyst Meredith Whitney
Today: Author Stephen King; author Mark Bittman; author Monica Seles; Jo Dee
Messina performs
Kelly & Michael: Alyssa Milano; the 2013 Scripps National Spelling Bee winner
The View: Kevin Bacon; actress Greta Gerwig; author Mika Brzezinski
The Talk: Guest co-host Angela Hill; musician Steven Tyler; chef Jason Santos
Ellen: Kristen Bell; actor Joe Manganiello; OneRepublic performs
Primetime:
ABC: The Bachelorette and the new nighttime soap Mistresses are new
CBS: How I Met Your Mother, Rules of Engagement, Two Broke Girls. Mike and
Molly and Hawaii Five-0 reruns
Fox: Raising Hope and New Girl reruns, plus new Goodwin Games and Charlie
Sheen's Anger Management comes to Fox for a limited run
NBC: The Voice and Revolution are new
CW: Oh Sit is new; Carrie Diaries is a rerun
ESPN: Baseball with the Indians at Yankees
TNT: NBA playoffs with the Pacers at Heat
NBC Sports: NHL playoffs with the Bruins at Penguins
Late Night:
Jay Leno: Vince Vaughn; basketball player Kenny Smith; Scotty McCreery
David Letterman: Neil Patrick Harris; racecar driver Tony Kanaan; Frank Turner
Jimmy Kimmel: Mark Ruffalo; Scrabble champions; Reggie Watts performs
Conan: Ellen Page; Craig Robinson; Myq Kaplan
Jimmy Fallon: Nathan Lane; actress Zoe Kravitz; Tomahawk performs
Craig Ferguson: Steven Tyler; actress Olga Kurylenko
Carson Daly: Actress Brit Marling; producer David Goyer; Maximum Hedrum
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Monday,
May
2009
June29th,
3rd, 2013
THE WATERCOOLER…
A new online commercial for Cheerios featuring an interracial couple drew so
many racist comments after it was posted on YouTube that they had to disable the
comments feature. The commercials shows a young girl asking her white mother if
Cheerios are good for your heart. Her black father then awakens from a nap to find
a huge pile of Cheerios on his chest. (See and hear here)
Convicted killer Joran van der Sloot is engaged to a Peruvian woman and will be
married this month, pending approval by prison officials. The woman is the mother
of a child that may be the result of a conjugal visit with van der Sloot. van der Slot
is serving a 28-year prison sentence for the murder of Stephany Flores and is also
the prime suspect in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway.
Today's viral photo shows a Google Street View image of a woman apparently
getting moving out of her boyfriend's house after getting dumped. The picture was
posted by Ipmark04 who wrote, "Google Street View captures the glorious
moment when my buddy kicks his now ex-gf out of his house." (See here)
Looking for a new, hipster drink to impress your friends with? How about
moonshine? What was once illegal is now going mainstream with some of the
biggest distilleries getting in on the act. You can thank the great recession as it
prompted Tennessee to loosen liquor laws in the hopes of easing unemployment.
Legal distilleries began popping up and the trend was born. A company called Ole
Smoky’s even advertised flavored moonshines as Mother’s Day gifts!
A new survey from the dating website IllicitEncounters.com finds that Audi
drivers are more likely to be unfaithful than owners of other cars. The rest of the
top five cheaters drove BMW's, Mercedes, Volvos and VWs. The faithful were
most likely to drive a Peugeot, followed by Renault, Rover, Skoda and Hyundai.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
SPORTS SHIRT…
The NBA has fined Indiana Pacers center Roy Hibbert $75,000 after he used a gay
slur and a profanity during his post-Game 6 news conference on Saturday. The
team later issued an apology on Hibbert's behalf. (See and hear here - NSFW)
Former NBA All-Star "Mookie" Blaylock remains hospitalized and faces charges
after a fatal crash in suburban Atlanta. Police say Blaylock was driving an SUV
that collided head-on with a van on Friday, killing a 43-year-old woman. Blaylock
is charged with driving on a suspended license and failing to stay in his lane and
could face more charges pending an investigation.
The Los Angeles Clippers are reportedly interested in Denver Nuggets head coach
George Karl, who's said to be “unsettled” by general manager Masai Ujiri’s
departure to Toronto.
Jimmie Johnson was black flagged for jumping a late restart and Tony Stewart
passed Juan Pablo Montoya with three laps left to win the NASCAR race at Dover
International Speedway. Meanwhile, Brad Keselowski and Penske Racing face
more potential penalties after the front end of Brad's No. 2 Ford was found to be
too low in a post-race inspection.
Matt Kuchar won the Memorial golf tournament in Dublin, Ohio yesterday. This is
the first multiple-win season for the Match Play Championship winner and he
moves to a career-best No. 4 in the world rankings. Tiger Woods had a horrendous
weekend, finishing 20 shots back.
At the French Open, Roger Federer rallied back from a two-sets-to-one deficit to
beat Gilles Simon of France and reach his 36th consecutive major quarterfinal. On
the women's side, Serena Williams reached the quarters by downing Roberta Vinci
in the fourth round on Sunday.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
Scoreboard
MLB
Tampa Bay 11 Cleveland 3 (Final 10)
Miami 11 N.Y. Mets 6 (Final)
Baltimore 4 Detroit 2 (Final)
Atlanta 6 Washington 3 (Final)
Philadelphia 7 Milwaukee 5 (Final)
Pittsburgh 5 Cincinnati 4 (Final 11)
Minnesota 10 Seattle 0 (Final)
San Francisco 4 St. Louis 2 (Final)
Arizona 8 Chi. Cubs 4 (Final)
Texas 3 Kansas City 1 (Final)
Houston 5 L.A. Angels 4 (Final)
Oakland 2 Chi. White Sox 0 (Final)
Colorado 7 Los Angeles 2 (Final)
Boston 3 N.Y. Yankees 0 (Final)
Toronto 7 San Diego 4 (Final 11)
NHL
Chicago 4 Los Angeles 2 (Final)
Blackhawks lead series 2-0
Today’s Games
MLB
Cleveland at N.Y. Yankees (7:05 PM)
Miami at Philadelphia (7:05 PM)
Pittsburgh at Atlanta (7:10 PM)
Colorado at Cincinnati (7:10 PM)
Oakland at Milwaukee (8:10 PM)
Arizona at St. Louis (8:15 PM)
Houston at L.A. Angels (10:05 PM)
Chi. White Sox at Seattle (10:10 PM)
San Diego at Los Angeles (10:10 PM)
NBA
Indiana at Miami (8:30 PM)
NHL
Boston at Pittsburgh (8:00 PM)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
DUH…
Retired U.S. Army Lt. Col. Ralph Wald and Johnna Lynn Flores joked that they
had the perfect marriage because, at the age of 70. he couldn't do it and she lost
interest and didn't want to do it. Apparently the 41-year-old Johnna regained
interest and took 32-year-old Walter Conley as her new boy toy. Unfortunately,
Ralph awoke one night to find his wife on the floor with Walter, who had his pants
around his knees. Thinking she was being sexually assaulted, Ralph shot and killed
Walter. Ralph has been acquitted of second degree murder and Johnna told
reporters that Ralph promised her that when he was released from jail they would
have a special celebration. Johnna said, "Because my husband puts me first, he's
taking me to the Waffle House."
Yavapai County, Arizona police were investigating four vehicular arsons when one
of the victims fingered Anthony Ramos as a possible suspect, noting that he
believed Ramos had stolen property in the past. Police soon caught up with Ramos
and despite finding the car owner's wallet in his apartment, he denied any
wrongdoing. However, Ramos soon admitted that he'd gotten into a fight with his
fiancée and stole the victim's car and set it on fire. Ramos said he decided to set
three more vehicles on fire because he wanted to repeat the “rush” he got from
watching the first car burn. Ramos was taken to jail in a blaze of glory.
In Paso Robles, California, 21-year-old Mario Sanchez Jr. smashed the window of
a van, then hid until the car alarm turned off, before returning and entering the
vehicle. However, this didn't go unnoticed by neighbors, who called police before
confronting the dirty Sanchez. Neighbors informed Sanchez he was under citizen’s
arrest and asked him to sit on the ground, which he did, before chuckling and
running away. Sanchez only made it 30 feet before neighbors tackled him. Officers
arrived to find the neighbors sitting on Sanchez, who was arrested on charges of
vehicular burglary and, in what explains a lot, possession of 3.7 grams of cocaine.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
MO’ DUH…
Tag....you're zapped! An unnamed 19-year-old Chicago man decided to leave his
mark on the world in the form of graffiti. Unfortunately, the places he left his mark
included an electrical transformer. Justice was swift as police found the tagger
unconscious and apparently electrocuted between the transformer, a chain link
fence and a telephone pole. Paramedics brought him down with a ladder and took
him to a hospital where he left his final mark.
Cincinnati's 39-year-old Shaun Welsh got drunk and nearly took a spin. No, he
didn't attempt to drive. It seems the liquored up Shaun ran naked into his street and
hid in a neighbor's clothes dryer where he was arrested for disorderly conduct.
Crestview, Florida's 22-year-old Sara Christina Black called police to report that
her wallet had been stolen. An officer soon arrived to take her report and
immediately noticed a red straw on the couch containing a white powder. When
the officer asked if there were any drugs in the house, Sara had a 'this is your brain
on drugs' moment and said 'yes' and produced a picture frame with three lines of a
white powdery substance that tested positive for cocaine and she was arrested.
Bainbridge Island, Washington's 24-year-old Arthur Ray Brown went into the
Lovers adult store and, apparently not having a lover, shoplifted a mannequin.
Unfortunately for Arthur, in his haste to bring the robbery to a climax, the bottom
half of the mannequin fell off and he escaped with just half of his intended date.
Arthur might've gotten away with the crime had he not returned to the store after
hours and broke in to steal sex toys and lingerie. Police found Arthur riding his
bicycle not far from the store after following a trail of sex toys he left behind.
There was a report of an uprising on Greece's state-owned public TV station the
other night. As the anchor was reading a news story, the screen behind him was
showing an adult movie. It turned out to be an erotic movie being shown on its
sister channel. (See NSFW video here)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
June 3rd, 2013
HISTORY LESSON…
1851: The New York Knickerbockers became the first baseball team to wear
uniforms
1856: Cullen Whipple of Providence, Rhode Island, patented the screw machine
1888: The poem Casey at the Bat was first was published in The San Francisco
Examiner
1914: America's first traffic light was installed in Cleveland, Ohio.
1937: King Edward VIII married American divorcee Mrs. Wallis Warfield
Simpson, the woman he abdicated the British throne for
1965: Astronaut Edward White became the first American to walk in space
1968: Andy Warhol was shot and critically wounded in his New York studio by
Valerie Solanas.
1981: Pope John Paul II was released from the hospital after his assassination
attempt
1982: Elvis Presley's Graceland mansion opened as a tourist attraction.
1989: The Ayatollah Khomeini died
1992: Presidential candidate Bill Clinton played the saxophone on the Arsenio Hall
Show
2007: Socialite Paris Hilton began serving her jail sentence for violating probation
in a reckless driving case.
2008: Barack Obama clinched the Democratic presidential nomination
Birthday Partiers:
singer Suzi Quatro 63
singer Deniece Williams 62
singer Dan Hill 59
newsman Anderson Cooper 46
tennis' Rafael Nadal 27