Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
THE BITS…
Another big snowstorm is hitting the country today. Meteorologists are saying that
some people could see up to 12 inches. However, the meteorologists’ girlfriends
say they’re exaggerating that measurement.
Officials say that 24 states are in disarray following this week’s snowstorms.
That’s actually pretty good when you consider that before the storms all 50 states
were in disarray.
This is Jay Leno’s last night on The Tonight Show. Jay Leno leaving the Tonight
Show is a lot like the winter Olympics…It happens every four years.
This is Jay Leno’s last night on The Tonight Show. Leno says he’s looking
forward to spending more time with his wife and cars.
The pilots that flew Justin Bieber to the Super Bowl now say that there was so
much marijuana smoke on the plane that they had to wear oxygen masks. In fact,
Justin smoked so much pot that he reached cruising altitude before the airplane did.
Miley Cyrus says that guys watch too much porn. Miley says that if guys want to
see naked women in sexual situations they should watch her music videos.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have reportedly decided to push up their
wedding date to May. It’s not surprising that Kim would want a brief engagement
seeing as how she had a brief marriage.
The Seattle Seahawks held their Super Bowl victory parade yesterday. Some
700,000 fans were cheering, chanting and going berserk. They don’t know whether
fans were excited for the team or if they had too much Starbucks.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
SON OF THE BITS…
The winter Olympics begin today in Sochi, Russia. Despite their country’s anti-gay
laws, Russian officials say they will welcome two-man bobsledders.
The winter Olympics begin today in Sochi, Russia. They say that gays haven’t felt
this unwelcome at any gathering since the Republican convention.
Authorities are warning terrorists may try to smuggle bomb making material in
toothpaste tubes aboard airplanes headed to Russia for the Olympics. The TSA is
on the lookout for suspects with bright smiles, fresh breath and clean, white teeth.
Authorities are warning that terrorists may try to smuggle bomb making material in
toothpaste tubes aboard airplanes headed to Russia for the Olympics. They say this
method of attack is recommended by four out of five dentists.
On this date in 1971, astronaut Alan Shepard played golf on the moon with a club
he sneaked aboard the Apollo spacecraft. It sounds cool, but it’s really
embarrassing when you bogey a crater.
The CVS drugstore chain has announced that they’re going to stop selling
cigarettes. That means smokers will be forced to quit smoking or walk across the
street to Walgreens.
A woman in Brazil with a rare disorder has won her legal battle to watch porn and
pleasure herself at work. The amazing thing is that she actually had to go to court
to get her boss to let her do this.
A woman in Brazil with a rare disorder has won a legal battle to watch porn and
pleasure herself at work. They say she can do 80 strokes a minute…and she also
types fast.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
TODAY’S AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we have reality clips from American
Idol and Duck Dynasty, plus a late night round up with Jay, Dave, The
Jimmys, Craig and Conan.
Plus more from Ron Jordan and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at
BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at
BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne
Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or
amunos@unitedstations.com
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
It’s been revealed that SELENA GOMEZ was in rehab for two weeks last month.
Her rep says that the trip to the Dawn at The Meadows rehab facility in Arizona
wasn’t for drug or alcohol addiction and sources are blaming it on JUSTIN
BIEBER. The facility specializes in helping young adults deal with depression,
anxiety, mood disorders and such and insiders say Selena was having difficulty
dealing with her breakup with Justin. It was also causing problems between Selena
and her family and the last straw was when they saw the photos that showed them
back together again, riding Segways and cuddling up. The very next day Selena
checked into the facility.
The pilots of the private jet that flew JUSTIN BIEBER and his pals to the Super
Bowl now say that there was so much marijuana smoke on the plane that they had
to wear oxygen masks during the flight. It’s also reported that Bieber and his father
were both “extremely abusive” to the flight attendant, despite the pilot warning
them several times to stop smoking and mistreating the attendant. When the plane
landed, authorities boarded the jet and said there was still a strong smell of
marijuana inside. Meanwhile, friends of that blonde stripper Bieber was seen
licking the breast of have come forward. Her name is Karolina and she’s a stripper
in Las Vegas. Bieber and his entourage hand-picked her and two other dancers to
come back to their hotel room for private dances and Bieber reportedly paid them
thousands each. No word on what exactly they had to do for the money because
they were forced to sign confidentiality agreements.
CHRIS BROWN was given a pass from rehab on Sunday so he could meet with
his attorney. However, Brown didn’t return to rehab directly, but instead made a
detour to Trey Songz' Super Bowl party. Of course there was plenty of girls and
booze and photographs have surfaced showing Brown at the party. Brown could be
in trouble because there was no mention to the judge or the rehab facility of his
party plans. Sources tell TMZ that Brown didn't drink and was monitored by a
rehab worker while he was at the party. (See here)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
WOODY ALLEN is submitting a response to Dylan Farrow's accusations to the
New York Times, the same newspaper that printed her original statement.
Unfortunately, an interview Woody did nearly 40 years ago with People magazine
has surfaced. In it Woody said, "I'm open-minded about sex. I'm not above
reproach; if anything, I'm below reproach. I mean, if I was caught in a love nest
with fifteen 12-year-old girls tomorrow, people would think, yeah, I always knew
that about him. Nothing I could come up with would surprise anyone...I admit to it
all." The whole thing is turning into a family feud as Woody’s other adopted son,
Moses Farrow, tells People magazine that Allen “of course” didn’t molest Dylan,
while Dylan calls Moses’ comments “a betrayal.”
While it might seem obvious, an autopsy of PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN’S
body came up inconclusive and more tests will be needed. Meanwhile, three of the
four people arrested in connection with Hoffman's death have been arraigned on
drug charges. An attorney for a musician named Robert Vineberg, who a police
informant claims sold drugs to him and Hoffman, pleaded not guilty and called his
client is scapegoat, although he declined to say whether Vineberg had ever met
Hoffman. Police also say that at least one of the suspects had Hoffman’s number
on his cell phone. Meanwhile, CATE BLANCHETT has canceled all of her
appearances to promote the new movie Monuments Men so she can have time and
privacy to grieve for the loss of Hoffman, who was a close friend.
GEORGE CLOONEY raised $1.2 million for the Satellite Sentinel Project, which
photographs atrocities and illegal activity in Sudan from outer space. Clooney
raised the money by auctioning off a date with him for $10 a ticket. The winner
was a Texas woman named Jean Allen, who joined Clooney on the red carpet for
the world premiere of his new movie, The Monuments Men, in New York. She and
her 8-year-old daughter also joined Clooney for a visit to David Letterman’s show.
Jean told reporters, “George has been amazing. He would make a great dad.”
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 3…
Radar Online reported yesterday that PRESIDENT CLINTON had a year-long
affair with ELIZABETH HURLEY while still in office. Unfortunately, their source
was a tape recording of actor TOM SIZEMORE bragging that he set the two up.
The story was suspect from the get-go as Radar also recently published photos and
videos of Sizemore on a drug binge. Hurley immediately tweeted a denial and said
the matter was in the hands of her lawyers. Sizemore also denied the story, saying
that while it was his voice on the tape, he was lying and called it "the rantings of a
guy that...had a very severe drug problem." Sizemore also said a woman was
blackmailing him with the tape and when he didn’t pay up she took it to the media.
Several of NBC News’ biggest stars have been implicated in a sex scandal as the
network is about to begin its coverage of the 2014 Winter Olympics. MATT
LAUER, AL ROKER, BRIAN WILLIAMS and BOB COSTAS are all issuing
denials following a New York Daily News blind item about “a secret, steamy
relationship between one of NBC’s best-known on-air personalities and a network
staffer’ and how it’s been put on ice because they’re afraid their affair will be
exposed by eavesdropping Russian agents at the Olympics. The newspaper claims
it’s been a 20 year on-and-off affair between the mystery couple.
Former "American Idol" runner-up CLAY AIKEN has announced that he’s
running for Congress in North Carolina’s 2nd Congressional District. Aiken has
been a special education teacher and says he decided to put his entertainment
career on hold and seek elected office. Aiken was appointed by President George
W. Bush to serve on the President's Committee for People with Intellectual
Disabilities, but says he considers Washington to be dysfunctional and that elected
officials are spending more time trying to make their opponent look bad than they
are actually doing good stuff. Incumbent opponent Renee Ellmers seemed to prove
Aiken’s point by saying that he "didn't really fare all that well" on "American Idol"
and alluded to his sexual orientation.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 4…
Rumor has it that KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST have decided to push
up their wedding date from July to May. An insider tells Us Weekly magazine,
"North will have a large role in the wedding!" They also say the two have been
planning "lots of events leading up to the big day" for their guests.
DIDDY and his entourage rang up a $200 tab at a New York City bar during Super
Bowl festivities, but despite his fortune he stiffed their waitress on the tip! The Bar
inside the Dream Hotel is now publicly shaming Diddy writing on their Facebook
page: "Although [Diddy's] Net worth is in the millions, he felt it necessary to stiff a
hard working young girl for $40 bucks. What a gentleman...!"
MARY TYLER MOORE has reportedly called 911 nine times over the past seven
months for a range of emergencies at her Greenwich, Connecticut home.
Emergency responder call logs show police have gone to Mary’s home over falls
that left her with a broken collarbone, fractured ribs, a damaged shoulder, and
contusions on her face, not to mention “verbal disputes” with her husband. A
source tells the National Enquirer that Mary’s husband got tired of being her
nursemaid and that ”they’ve had blowout fights over whether she should live in an
assisted care facility, but Mary refuses to leave her house.”
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
Tonight is JAY LENO’S last night of hosting THE TONIGHT SHOW. His last
guest will be Billy Crystal, just like on his very first show in 1992 and on his nextto-last show before Conan O’Brien took over.
NBC has canceled "The Michael J. Fox Show" after just 15 episodes. It’ll be
replaced by Hollywood Game Night starting February 27th.
The USA Network has canceled PSYCH after eight seasons. The final episode will
air Wednesday, March 26th and will be followed by a one-hour live show and
Q&A with the stars of the series.
TINA FEY and AMY POEHLER will host THE GOLDEN GLOBES for the third
time in a row next year. Next year’s show will air on January 11th, 2015.
THE BIGGEST LOSER winner Rachel Fredrickson is feeling the hate after she
dropped nearly 60 percent of her body weight. The haters said she lost too much
weight and looks anorexic. Rachel went from 260 pounds to 105 pounds and she
says she feels great.
The creators of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER did one of those Reddit ask me
anything chats and revealed that Jennifer Love Hewitt turned down the role of
Robin in favor of starring on The Ghost Whisperer. They also revealed that they
knew how the show would end all along and even filmed part of the ending back in
2006 before Ted's kids got much older.
The diamond tiara that Lady Mary wore in her season three wedding on
DOWNTON ABBY can be yours on a temporary basis. Jewelers Bentley &
Skinner will rent you the tiara for about $2,000 per day. However, that doesn’t
include the $200,000 security deposit.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES…
Here are last week’s top 10 albums (with sales figures) according to Billboard
magazine…
1. Soundtrack - Frozen - 94,000
2. Various - 2014 Grammy Nominees - 87,000
3. Lorde - Pure Heroine - 68,000
4. Of Mice & Men - Restoring Force - 51,000
5. Beyonce - Beyonce - 48,000
6. Casting Crowns - Thrive - 43,000
7. Bruno Mars - Unorthodox Jukebox - 42,000
8. Imagine Dragons - Night Visions - 39,000
9. Katy Perry - PRISM - 31,000
10. Daft Punk - Random Access Memories - 30,000
RED HOT CHILI PEPPER CHAD SMITH is auctioning the drum kit he played
during the Super Bowl halftime show for the Make-A-Wish charity. The drum kit
is available in two separate pieces along with three sets of sticks that he used. The
auction ends tomorrow night at 10 PM Eastern on NFL.com.
LADY GAGA is featured in the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar and says she’s
created a private online exhibition of her most famous gowns and costumes in a
secret Los Angeles archive. Gaga says, “The clothes are on mannequins, also on
hangers and in boxes with a photo of each piece, and there's a website where I can
go to look through everything."
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES 2…
In another nugget from MILEY CYRUS’ interview with W magazine she says,
"Guys watch too much porn," adding "those girls don't exist. They're not real
girls." Miley also says, "You don’t have to wear makeup. You don’t have to have
long blond hair and big titties. That’s not what it’s about."
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
TUBULAR…
Daytime:
GMA: George Clooney; actor Chris Pratt; Cake Boss Buddy Valastro
Today: Ronan Farrow; actor Chris Pratt; Olympic gold medalist Shaun White
Kelly & Michael: George Clooney (``The Monuments Men''); Karmin performs
The View: Vince Gill and Paul Franklin perform
The Talk: Actor Kunal Nayyar
Queen Latifah: Bradley Whitford (``Saving Mr. Banks''); Sarah Paulson (``12
Years a Slave'')
Ellen: Channing Tatum, Kate McKinnon (``Saturday Night Live''); guest DJ
Darlene Love
Primetime:
Fox: American Idol Hollywood Round, Week No. 1
NBC: The Winter Olympics begin with Figure skating, Snowboarding, Skiing
TNT: NBA hoops Spurs at Nets and Bulls at Warriors
ESPN: College hoops Connecticut at Cincinnati and Oregon at Arizona
ESPN2: College hoops LSU at Georgia and Penn State at Michigan State
Late Night:
Jay Leno: Billy Crystal; Garth Brooks performs (Last regular show for Leno –
tomorrow will be a farewell special)
David Letterman: Michael Keaton; Sean Lennon and The Flaming Lips perform a
tribute to The Beatles
Jimmy Kimmel: The cast of Monuments Men
Conan: ``The Walking Dead'' cast
Jimmy Fallon: Colin Farrell; actor Chris Pratt; 2 Chainz performs with The Roots
Craig Ferguson: John Goodman; actress Imogen Poots
Arsenio: will.i.am; Jason Derulo performs
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Thursday,
May 29th,
2009
February
6th,
2014
THE WATERCOOLER…
Drugstore chain CVS has announced that they’ll stop selling cigarettes and other
tobacco products in its 7,600 stores across the country by October 1st. In a
statement they said, "Ending the sale of cigarettes and tobacco products at
CVS/pharmacy is the right thing for us to do for our customers and our company to
help people on their path to better health. Put simply, the sale of tobacco products
is inconsistent with our purpose."
The staff of the Detroit Free Press is feeling like a bunch of boobs. The newspaper
published an online poll that gave readers the chance to vote "good" or "bad" on
the cleavage of 12 celebrities. The paper explained, "When cleavage is good, it’s
very, very good. When it’s bad, it’s atrocious." Free Press writer Georgea Kovanis
also offered "Dos and Don'ts of Cleavage" and listed the celebrities on her good
and bad lists. After an overwhelmingly negative response, editors explained that
the poll was tied to the Grammy Awards and the celebrities' outfits and their
varying displays of cleavage.
Researchers now say that your memory isn’t as good as you think it is. An article
in the Journal of Neuroscience may explain why we can be thoroughly convinced
that something happened when it didn't, and why eyewitness testimony is
notoriously unreliable. They say that our memories are not so much a snapshot of
the past, but rather a record of our current view on the past. They found that when
you build a new memory, you gather little bits of information such as what the
room looks like, who's talking, what they're wearing and then store them together.
Later, when you bring up an old memory, the bits of information get melded with
new bits relevant to your present life.
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Thursday,
May 29th,
2009
February
6th,
2014
THE WATERCOOLER 2…
According to a new survey, one fifth of all women say they were left disappointed
by their man's marriage proposal, but didn't say anything at the time, although they
now wished they had. Even worse, 13 percent of those said they were so
disappointed by the proposal that they wanted to cry after it failed to live up to
their expectations. Women said they were also offended by their men not
proposing on bended knee, failing to organize a 'special' proposal or not asking
parents' permission for her hand in marriage. The survey also found that one in 10
would turn down proposal if they didn't like ring and half would consider making a
financial contribution to get a better ring.
If you’re not feeling the love this Valentine’s Day season, a London group called
the Last Tuesday Society has set up the Hex Your Ex website. They offer the
chance to get revenge this Valentine's Day with a custom-made voodoo doll of
your ex. For anyone who has recently been spurned, dumped or two-timed they
offer the Voodoo Your Ex service. Just send them a photo of your ex, a piece of
their clothing, or pick from a fabric like denim, paisley or gingham, and then write
five hexes for the doll; one for the torso and one for each limb. Available hexes
include: Impotence, Flatulence, Beer belly, Root canal surgery, Prostate
examination, Pet run over and Zero Twitter followers. The service costs about $32.
Schools have already made lots of snow day announcements this winter, but none
quite like Stephens Elementary in Burlington, Kentucky. Principal James Detwiler
enlisted the help of drama teacher Chad Caddell and they recorded a message set to
Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” which is going viral. (See here)
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Thursday,
May 29th,
2009
February
6th,
2014
THE WATERCOOLER 3…
It turns out that after all these years we’ve been eating our burgers the wrong way.
Researchers in Japan say that most of us eat our hamburgers with four fingers on
the top and thumbs on the bottom. However, they say the best way to eat a burger
is to actually put your pinkies and your thumbs on the bottom. They say that this
will help keep all the good stuff from falling out by keeping the bottom more
secure. They also suggest not to hold the burger too tightly and to warm up your
mouth muscles before eating. Incidentally, the researchers spent four months
coming up with all of this.
Talk about your fringe benefits at work! Brazil’s Ana Catarian Bezerra has won
her legal battle to watch pornography and pleasure herself in the workplace! The
36-year-old accountant suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers anxiety and
hypersexuality and claims that she feels the need to self-indulge for at least fifteen
minutes every two hours in order to relieve stress and anxiety. At the peak of her
condition Ana was having to attend to her needs up to forty-seven times a day. Ana
says, “That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal.” Now with the help of
tranquilizers Ana has reduced that to around 18 times per day.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
SPORTS SHIRT…
An estimated 700,000 Seattle Seahawks fans turned out for their Super Bowl
victory parade yesterday. They note that 700,000 people are more than Seattle’s
population and that it may have been the largest gathering in the city’s history.
CBS and the NFL Network will team up for Thursday Night Football next season.
CBS will televise the first eight Thursday night games with the NFL Network
covering the remaining eight.
LeBron James will star in a basketball sitcom on the Starz network called
"Survivor's Remorse." LeBron will play a basketball phenom in his twenties who’s
thrust into the spotlight after signing a multi-million-dollar contract.
Snowboarder Shaun White announced that he’s withdrawing from the Olympics’
slopestyle competition due to "the potential risk of injury." The course has drawn
concerns about its safety and White said he planned to focus on winning his third
straight gold medal in halfpipe. Canadians Sebastien Toutant and Maxence Parrot
later sent out a tweet saying, “Mr. White... It's easy to find excuses to pull out of a
contest when you think you can't win.”
ESPN broadcaster and former major league pitcher Curt Schilling has revealed that
he has been diagnosed with cancer. Schilling didn’t reveal what type of cancer he
has or how it might affect his ESPN schedule.
Morgan Shepherd will attempt to become the oldest driver to race in the Daytona
500 later this month. Shepherd turned 72 in October and became the oldest driver
to compete in a Sprint Cup race last summer at New Hampshire.
David Beckham formally announced plans to bring a Major League Soccer team to
Miami yesterday. The Miami team will likely start competing in the 2016 season
and the first order of business for Beckham is to find a site for a stadium.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
Scoreboard
NBA:
LA Lakers 119, Cleveland 108
Boston 114, Philadelphia 108
San Antonio 125, Washington 118 (OT)
Orlando 112, Detroit 98
Portland 94, New York 90
Houston 122, Phoenix 108
Dallas 110, Memphis 96
New Orleans 105, Atlanta 100
Oklahoma City 106, Minnesota 97
Denver 110, Milwaukee 100
Sacramento 109, Toronto 101
Miami 116, LA Clippers 112
NHL:
Pittsburgh 5, Buffalo 1
Chicago 2, Anaheim 0
San Jose 2, Dallas 1 (OT)
NCAAM:
(4) Wichita State 65, Indiana State 58
(5) San Diego State 67, Boise State 65
(10) Michigan 79, Nebraska 50
(13) Saint Louis 65, Saint Joseph's 49
(14) Louisville 77, Houston 62
(20) Virginia 77, Boston College 67
West Virginia 91, (21) Oklahoma 86
(23) Gonzaga 71, Portland 66
(25) Pittsburgh 59, Miami (FL) 55
Today’s Games
NBA:
San Antonio at Brooklyn
Chicago at Golden State
8:00 PM
10:30 PM
NHL:
Calgary at NY Islanders 7:00 PM
Edmonton at NY Rangers 7:00 PM
Colorado at Philadelphia 7:00 PM
Winnipeg at Washington 7:00 PM
Vancouver at Montreal
7:30 PM
Buffalo at Ottawa 7:30 PM
Toronto at Tampa Bay
7:30 PM
Detroit at Florida 7:30 PM
Boston at St. Louis 8:00 PM
Nashville at Minnesota
8:00 PM
Columbus at Los Angeles 10:30 PM
NCAAM:
9:00 PM Oregon at (2) Arizona
7:00 PM (22) Connecticut at (7)
Cincinnati
9:00 PM Penn State at (9) Michigan State
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
DUH…
Jess Ewald stole an iPhone from a waitress at Benny's on the Beach in Lake Worth,
Florida. Jess later used the pilfered phone to take a bare-chested "selfie,"
unbeknownst to him that the phone was set to automatically upload photos to the
waitresses Twitter and Facebook pages. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office
said the "overwhelming response" to the picture posts on the social media sites led
Jess to turn himself in.
Palm Coast, Florida’s 65-year-old Lee Williams was watching workers hired by
his daughter as they cut down trees outside their home. Concerned for Williams’
safety, the workers repeatedly asked him to stay inside so we would be hurt.
However, Williams wanted to watch and when they said "no," Williams allegedly
got a gun and pointed it at one of the men, threatening to shoot if they didn't get
off his property. When police arrived to arrest Williams for aggravated assault with
a deadly weapon he told officers that the workers were being rude.
Somerset Preparatory Charter Middle School in Miramar, Florida went on
lockdown this week after suspicious items were seen in the street in front of the
school. Police blocked off traffic and called out the bomb squad and after a little
over two hours the all clear was given when it was discovered that the suspicious
items were actually pillows.
Syrian couple George and Rana Kasar decided to open a Middle Eastern restaurant
in suburban Detroit. Unfortunately, the couple disagreed when it came to deciding
upon a name for their new restaurant. However, George won the argument and
insisted upon calling the restaurant "The Bomb." While George felt customers
would proclaim this fajita is ‘the bomb’ after tasting their food, some people have
exploded with outrage over the fact that a Middle Eastern couple has named the
restaurant The Bomb. Rana says, “(It’s) a little bit scary. They think we’re
terrorists now.”
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
MO’ DUH…
Vero Beach, Florida’s 74-year-old Robert Radford was staggering in the parking
lot of a vacant business. A deputy stopped to have a chat with Radford, who
smelled of booze and couldn't answer the cop's questions, instead proclaiming: "Do
you know who I am. I am Robert Radford. The baddest mother***er around."
Radford then tried to drink from one of four pint-sized bottles of vodka he had.
When the deputy took Radford's liquor, Radford said he planned to kick the
deputy's hindquarters. When the deputy asked him if the address on his license was
his residence he began to ramble on about how he wasn’t living there because he
wasn’t allowed and continued to state that he 'did not touch her.' The deputy
learned Radford got out of jail three days earlier and arranged for a return visit.
Vero Beach, Florida’s Jeff MacDonald was pulled over by police while driving his
car while very intoxicated. The officer says MacDonald smelled of booze and
slurred his speech and told him he’d had a couple of Coors Lights. Unable to put
his right foot in front of his left during a field sobriety test, MacDonald explained
his failure by saying he couldn't dance like Britney Spears. However, he was
arrested baby one more time.
Police in China, Maine responded to a call from a woman who heard what she
believed to be a fight coming from a neighbor’s home. The woman said she heard
screaming and thought there was a domestic assault. When police arrived at the
home they discovered that it wasn’t screaming what squealing. It turned out that
the sounds were being made by an amorous pig that had been enjoying several
intimate encounters with a number of sows.
Tampa’s Kenneth Haskins and several others are temporarily homeless after a fire
at their apartment building. However, Haskins soon got new accommodations at
the local jail after being arrested on arson charges. Haskins admitted to setting the
fire to get even with management after they asked him to please stop pleasuring
himself in front of his window. (See OMG mug shot here)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Thursday,
February 6th, 2014
HISTORY LESSON…
1895: Babe Ruth was born in Baltimore
1943: Frank Sinatra made his solo debut on radio's Your Hit Parade after leaving
the Tommy Dorsey Orchestra
1943: After a sensational trial, actor Errol Flynn was acquitted of three counts of
statutory rape.
1945: Reggae legend Bob Marley was born
1952: Britain's King George VI died and was succeeded by his daughter, Elizabeth
II.
1971: Astronaut Alan Shepard played golf on the moon with a club he sneaked
aboard the Apollo spacecraft
1987: Sonny Bono declared his candidacy for mayor of Palm Springs
1987: President Ronald Reagan turned 76 years old and became the oldest U.S.
president in history.
1998: Washington National Airport was renamed for Ronald Reagan
2000: Hillary Rodham Clinton kicked off her New York senate campaign
2003: ABC aired the controversial Martin Bashir documentary on Michael Jackson
Birthday Partiers:
actress Zsa Zsa Gabor (Moulin Rouge, Naked Gun 2 1/2) 97
actor Patrick MacNee (The Avengers, Young Doctors In Love, View To A Kill) 82
actor Rip Torn (Men in Black, Wonder Boys, Larry Sanders Show) 73
actor Mike Farrell (MASH's B.J. Hunnicutt) 75
singer Fabian 71
singer Natalie Cole 64
actress Kathy Najimy (Veronica's Closet, Rat Race, The Wedding Planner) 57
musician Axl Rose 52
basketball's Kris Humphries 29