Have a Great
Memorial Day
Weekend! Bitman
will be back
Tuesday morning.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
THE BITS…
Memorial Day weekend is here. It’s a time to remember those who fought. You
know, like Charlie Sheen and Rihanna; Solange and Jay Z…
Memorial Day weekend is here. Triple-A says you’ll pay about $3.50 for gas. AA
says Lindsay Lohan will pay about $200 to get gassed.
Memorial Day weekend is here. It’s the unofficial start of summer. You can tell
that it’s summer because Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have invited Ben and
Jerry to their wedding.
The Chateau of Versailles is hosting a special visit for Kim Kardashian and Kanye
West and their guests this evening. Kim and Kanye say they’re looking forward to
touring the Chateau of Versailles so they can see how the less fortunate live.
Prince William, Kate Middleton and Queen Elizabeth II are heading to France for
D-Day commemorations. It’s nice to see the royal family represented at Kim
Kardashian and Kanye West’s wedding.
An intruder was arrested after breaking into George Clooney's Italian villa,
sneaking into the wine cellar and grabbing a bottle, before going into the house. No
word on which one of Clooney’s ex-girlfriends it was.
Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson made more anti-gay remarks during an Easter
Sunday sermon. If Robertson isn’t careful he’s not going to get an invitation to
Elton John’s wedding.
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is apologizing after speaking out on race in a
new interview. In fact, Cuban’s remarks were so controversial that he’s being
forced to sell the Los Angeles Clippers.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
SON OF THE BITS…
Fox News Network weekend anchor Gregg Jarrett was arrested at a bar at the
Minneapolis Airport this week. Police say Jarrett was drunk and they described his
condition as ‘fair and unbalanced.’
Las Vegas has withdrawn its bid to host the 2016 Republican Convention. Las
Vegas had been a favorite to host the convention because of its abundance of hotel
rooms, abundance of meeting places and abundance of strippers.
Cigarette makers Camel and Newport may merge. They say that by merging
Campbell and Newport could more effectively and efficiently kill people.
Cigarette makers Camel and Newport may merge. However, the Surgeon General
has warned them that merging is hazardous to their health.
The CEO of McDonald’s says he believes they pay fair and competitive wages. Of
course, he also believes they serve food that’s healthy and nutritious.
Scientists say that Jupiter's Great Red Spot has shrunk to its smallest size ever.
They say that the reduction of the red spot is either due to changing conditions on
the planet or Clearasil.
Scientists say that the massive storm on Jupiter marked by the Great Red Spot has
shrunk to its smallest size ever. They say that it’s good news for Memorial Day
weekend travelers on Jupiter.
Tennessee has announced that they’re bringing back the electric chair. They say if
that works out, they’ll try and bring back the Electric Prunes.
Tennessee has announced that they’re bringing back the electric chair. Tennessee
says it chose the electric chair over the gas recliner.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
TODAY’S AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we have clips from Hell’s Kitchen, the
return of Last Comic Standing and a late night round up with Dave,
Craig, Seth, Conan and the Jimmys.
Plus more from Pamela Furr and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at
BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at
BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne
Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or
amunos@unitedstations.com
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
Today’s celebrity feud is between CHARLIE SHEEN and RIHANNA. It started
when they happened to be dining at the same restaurant the other night. Charlie
was there with his fiancée, who wanted to meet Rihanna, so he sent a note to her
table. However, Rihanna declined and Charlie later went on Twitter to slam her
saying, “no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging
Drano and ‘please kill me now’ that I’d never get back. My Gal, however, was
NOT OK with it. Nice impression you left behind.” After scolding Rihanna about
courtesy, Charlie added, “Actually, it was a pleasure NOT meeting you…I’m
guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds to situate that bad wig before you
left the restaurant.” Apparently feeling she had a chance in a Twitter war with
Charlie, Rihanna responded, "Goooorrrrrrlllllll......If that old queen don't get ha
diapers out of a bunch..." Charlie issued a response to Rihanna via TMZ in poem
form, saying it was clear that English is NOT her primary language, thanking her
for recognizing him as Royalty and asking her if she’d tend to the dungeon in his
Castle. Charlie signed off by saying, “later Doosh!”
A supposed guest list for KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST’S wedding
has been leaked. Among the names are Jay Z, Chrissy Teigen, John Legend,
Serena Williams, Scottie Pippen, Carmelo Anthony, La La Anthony, Q-Tip and
Joe Francis. Brody Jenner reportedly received an invitation but isn’t attending
because his girlfriend wasn’t invited.
American Idol finalist and Smash actress KATHARINE MCPHEE has filed for
divorce from husband Nick Cokas after an attempt at reconciliation apparently
failed. Katharine’s rep issued a statement saying, "After six years of marriage, and
having been separated for the past year, Katharine McPhee has filed for dissolution
of marriage from Nick Cokas. The two have an amicable relationship and will
remain friends." Of course, that statement may be a bit of a fib seeing as how
Katharine was photographed kissing her Smash director Michael Morris last fall.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
JUSTIN BIEBER is calling on the paparazzi to back off. Bieber posted a photo of
himself in the middle of a swarm of photographers with the caption: "Give me
some space. I know I look fly but s**t."
Dallas Mavericks owner MARK CUBAN decided to speak out about banned Los
Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling. The NBA is probably cringing and
Cuban is already apologizing. Cuban said, "I know I'm prejudiced, and I know I'm
bigoted in a lot of different ways. If I see a black kid in a hoodie on my side of the
street, I'll move to the other side of the street. If I see a white guy with a shaved
head and tattoos (on the side of the street he moved to), I'll move back to the other
side of the street. None of us have pure thoughts; we all live in glass houses."
Cuban's point was that we all have preconceived notions of various things.
Cuban apologized to the family of Trayvon Martin, claiming he didn’t think to
consider them when he mentioned a black person in a hoodie. However, Cuban
added, "Beyond apologizing to the Martin family, I stand by the words and
substance of the interview." As for voting on Sterling's ouster, Cuban said he
knows how he’ll vote, but wouldn’t share.
Duck Dynasty patriarch PHIL ROBERTSON doubled down on his anti-gay
rhetoric during an Easter Sunday sermon at Whites Ferry Road Church in his
hometown of West Monroe, Louisiana. In a video that has just surfaced, Phil tells
the congregation, “Is homosexual behavior a sin? The guy asked me. I said, do you
not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Don’t be deceived.”
(See here – about 8 minutes in)
An intruder was arrested after breaking into GEORGE CLOONEY'S Italian villa
this week. However, before heading to the main house, the burglar hit the wine
cellar, where he supposedly grabbed a bottle of vino. From there, he went to the
house where he was spotted by security, who called police. Clooney wasn’t there at
the time.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 3…
Prosecutors have charged actor MICHAEL JACE, from the TV series "The
Shield," with murder in the shooting death of his wife. Jace is facing 50 years to
life in state prison if convicted. Jace called police to report that he shot his wife and
waited for officers to arrive at his home. Jace was having financial problems and
had filed for bankruptcy several years ago.
Fox News Network says weekend anchor GREGG JARRETT is dealing with
"serious personal issues" following his arrest in a bar at the Minneapolis-St. Paul
Airport. The 59-year-old Jarrett was arrested Wednesday afternoon for interfering
with a peace officer after he acted belligerently and refused to follow orders. Fox
News says his return to the air has yet to be determined. Jarrett was taken off the
air recently after requesting a leave of absence for personal reasons.
Maxim magazine is out with their annual Hot 100 list and they’ve named Victoria's
Secret supermodel CANDICE SWANEPOEL as this year’s hottest woman.
Candice said, "It's a huge honor to be Maxim's No. 1, among so many beautiful
and talented women!" The rest of the top ten were: 2. Scarlett Johansson; 3. Katy
Perry; 4. Irina Shayk; 5. Jennifer Lawrence; 6. Zooey Deschanel; 7. Alessandra
Ambrosio; 8. Jessica Alba; 9. Mila Kunis; 10. Cara Delevingne
If you’ve ever wondered why you see A-list stars in the front row at fashion shows
here’s the scoop. As you might guess, they get paid. Word has it that RIHANNA
and BEYONCÉ earn up to $100,000 to watch from the front row, while around
$70,000 will get you CHLOË SEVIGNY. JESSICA CHASTAIN reportedly
pocketed $80,000 to pose at the Armani Privé fashion show in Paris, while LEA
MICHELE reportedly earned nearly $20,000 to wear Lacoste during this year's
Coachella Music Festival.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
New Movies in Theatres…
Blended - Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler team up again, this time as single
parents who go on a disastrous first date, then wind up on the same safari vacation
with their children. PG-13. (See trailer here)
X-Men: Days of Future Past - Superheroes Michael Fassbender, Hugh Jackman,
Jennifer Lawrence and James McAvoy travel through time to save the world. PG13 (See trailer here)
Only 10.2 million people tuned in to see the finale of AMERICAN IDOL on
Wednesday night. That’s down 28 percent from last season. However, Idol did beat
SURVIVOR, which had 9.5 million viewers. However, the MODERN FAMILY
finale beat them both with 10.23 million viewers.
The next season of SURVIVOR will be called San Juan del Sur — Blood vs.
Water. It’ll be filmed in Nicaragua and premiere in September. The new Blood vs.
Water cast will feature pairs of all new contestants as opposed to the last Blood vs.
Water, which featured returning players.
If you happen to see Game of Thrones last Sunday night you no doubt noticed a
bottomless Daario Naharis, who’s played by MICHIEL HUISMAN. Fans went
crazy on social media, calling his the hottest male ass ever on TV! In fact, Playgirl
has reached out to him with an offer to display his goods in their magazine.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
MUSIC NOTES…
PAUL MCCARTNEY was hospitalized in Tokyo due to that viral infection he
came down with. The virus forced McCartney to cancel Japan and South Korean
dates, but his rep says he’ll make a complete recovery. McCartney's Out There tour
is scheduled to resume June 14th in Lubbock, Texas.
A group of Buffalo Bills fans are pushing for a boycott of BON JOVI. Jon Bon
Jovi has expressed an interest in buying the team and fans are afraid he’d move the
team to Toronto. Their petition already has more than 6,000 signatures and
includes a long list of businesses banning Bon Jovi music from jukeboxes.
CHRISTINE MCVIE says that she and her recently reunited FLEETWOOD MAC
bandmates are writing a new album. She says the album is due sometime next year
and that the group is also planning a world tour.
CROSBY, STILLS, NASH AND YOUNG will finally release that much talked
about box set from their 1974 reunion tour. CSNY 1974 will be out on July 8th in a
number of formats, including a 3 CD/DVD set, a Pure Audio Blu-Ray and a 16track single CD. The higher end sets will have a 188-page booklet, and there’ll also
be a limited edition set featuring a coffee table book and six 180-gram vinyl
records. Pre-orders begin next week on the band's website.
MARIANNE FAITHFULL has a new album on the way called Give My Love to
London. The album will feature tunes written by the likes of Roger Waters, Nick
Cave and Steve Earle. The album will be out in September and Marianne plans a
50th anniversary concert beginning in the fall.
ROBIN THICKE has announced that he’ll release a still-untitled album on July
1st. All the songs on the album were written and produced by Thicke.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
MUSIC NOTES 2…
The Lifetime channel is making a movie about WHITNEY HOUSTON and
BOBBY BROWN. The movie will follow the couple through their first meeting,
tumultuous marriage and Whitney’s rise to fame. The movie will air sometime in
2015 and it’ll mark the directorial debut of actress Angela Bassett.
There’s been another DESTINY’S CHILD reunion as Beyoncé, Kelly Rowland
and Solange have gotten back together for Michelle Williams’ single “Say Yes”
off her latest solo album, “Journey to Freedom”.
Former Las Vegas police officer Chris Carroll was the first person on the scene at
the fatal shooting of TUPAC SHAKUR. In a new interview, Carroll recalled
pulling Tupac from the passenger seat of the car. Carroll says Tupac was bleeding
everywhere, but when he asked who shot him, he refused to snitch and replied ...
"F*** you," which turned out to be his last words.
FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE has some new music on the way. The group’s Tyler
Hubbard says they’re about halfway done with their new album adding, “If
everything goes as expected, we should have some new music out in October.”
TOBY KEITH will release his 5 Rounds box set on June 10th. The set will feature
the five albums Toby released from 2008 to 2012: That Don’t Make Me a Bad
Guy, American Ride, Bullets in the Gun, Clancy’s Tavern and Hope on the Rocks.
Toby kicks off his Shut Up & Hold On Tour May 25th in Forest City, Iowa.
MARTY STUART will release a new double album called "Saturday Night &
Sunday Morning" on September 30th. The Saturday half of the set will have a
traditional country sound, while the Sunday set will be gospel.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
TUBULAR…
Daytime:
GMA: Lady Antebellum performs
Today: Amanda Seyfried; Tim McGraw performs
Kelly & Michael: Jennifer Lawrence; Phillip Phillips performs
The View: Sarah Silverman; Don Johnson; Sara Evans performs
The Talk: Jason Priestly
Queen Latifah: Adam Sandler; Jane Leeves; Joe Nichols performs
Ellen: Diane Keaton; Jason Mraz performs
Primetime:
ABC: “What Would You Do?” returns
NBC: The season finale of Hannibal
PBS: In performance at The White House features ‘Women of Soul’ Aretha
Franklin, Janelle Monae, Patti LaBelle and Jill Scott
Late Night:
Jimmy Kimmel: Kobe Bryant; Pharrell Williams performs (R)
David Letterman: Lindsay Lohan; Real Estate performs (R)
Jimmy Fallon: Seth MacFarlane; Rascal Flatts performs
Craig Ferguson: Actor Jon Favreau
Seth Meyers: Actor Will Forte (R)
Arsenio: Ziggy Marley performs (R)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
TUBULAR WEEKEND…
Saturday:
Fox: Saturday night baseball Royals at Angels
NBC: NHL hockey Blackhawks at Kings
PBS: Austin City Limits features Mumford & Sons
Saturday Night Live: Summer reruns
Sunday:
Fox: NASCAR Sprint Cup: Coca-Cola 600 from Charlotte
PBS: Gary Sinise and Joe Mantegna host the National Memorial Day concert with
Megan Hilty, Jackie Evancho and others
AMC: The first half season finale of Mad Men
ESPN: MLB baseball Cardinals at Reds
TNT: NBA hoops Spurs at Thunder
NBC Sports: NHL hockey Canadiens at Rangers
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Friday,
May
May 29th,
23rd, 2009
2014
THE WATERCOOLER…
Those hackers that broke into eBay and stole users’ information may now be
offering it for sale. Several "full eBay user database dump" offers have been posted
on the anonymous site pastebin.com, but experts say it seems unlikely they're real.
They say it’s not uncommon for criminals to spot an opportunity to cash in on an
attack by offering false credentials for sale.
High school junior Brett Nichols has a viral video on his hands after performing a
Michael Jackson-inspired “Billie Jean” dance routine at his school’s talent show.
MTV even claims Nichols’ footwork is better than that of Michael Jackson
himself. Even the Michael Jackson estate is impressed and they’ve sent Nichols
two of Michael’s CDs and an invitation for Brett and his family to attend a
performance of Michael Jackson ONE in Las Vegas. (See here-about 1:12 in)
University of New Mexico college student Jeremy Martin plans to sue the
Albuquerque Police Department after he was arrested for DUI and marijuana
possession. When Officer Pablo Padilla told the 24-year-old Martin to sit down on
a curb, he instead stood up and told the officer, “Mace me. Mace me, please. I
would love for you to mace me. That would be fantastic.” Martin probably now
wishes he had only been maced. Officer Padilla retrieved his Taser, at which point
things became increasingly hostile, resulting in the officer grabbing Martin, turning
him around and throwing a knee to his groin that connected so fiercely it shattered
one of his testicles. Martin can be heard saying on a police tape, “Stop using
aggressive force! Don’t kick me in the nuts! Aw you motherf*cker! Don’t kick me
in the … aw you f*cker! Sir, I’m not trying to resist. I’m not trying to hit you.
Please help me up!” (See here-preview)
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Friday,
May
May 29th,
23rd, 2009
2014
THE WATERCOOLER 2…
When Jack Hyer meet fellow University of Montana student Rebecca Strellnauer
in 2010 he knew he would marry her one day. Apparently so, as he spent the next
four years filming a video proposal in the 26 countries that his studies took him to,
knowing one day he would play it for her. The video features Jack lip-syncing to
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers and on Saturday they graduated and
in front of their families and Jack showed the video and asked Rebecca to marry
him. As you might imagine, she cried and said 'Yes!' (See here)
A so-called expert claims that your face can reveal a lot about your sexual
prowess! The Chinese have practiced face reading for more than 3,000 years and
it’s noted the human face is capable of making 7,000 distinct expressions. They
also say that by the time we hit 40, you can determine whether we've spent most of
our lives smiling or frowning. Relationship expert Tracey Cox says that if your
eyebrows are small and sparse you have zero interest in sex. However, if they’re
thick and bushy, you’re sexually obsessed. If your eyes are pale, you’re easily
sexually satisfied and just looking for a roll in the hay. However, if your eyes are
dark it means you’re passionate and into meaningful and marathon sessions. A
person with a snub nose is said to be into romantic sex and traditional positions,
while the bumpy nose crowd like lots of kinky sex! Fine lines around the nose and
under the lower eyelids are the marks of someone with an enormous sexual
appetite. Tracey also says those with large mouths tend to be better lovers.
According to a new survey from British adult toy company Love Honey, those
who never went to college have more sex than their higher educated counterparts.
However, they found that college graduates were kinkier. Nearly one in seven of
the non-college crowd claimed to be having sex at least once a day, compared to
just 10 percent of graduates. Not only that, the non-collegiate crowd claimed to
have had more partners. However, the college crowd was more likely to have had
fun in the great outdoors and had a threesome.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
SPORTS SHIRT…
Indiana Pacers coach Frank Vogel says Paul George is feeling better after being
diagnosed with a concussion. However, it’s still uncertain whether he’ll be ready to
play in tomorrow night’s game three of the Eastern Conference finals in Miami.
The Texas Rangers’ Prince Fielder will undergo surgery to repair a herniated disk
in his neck and is out for the season. Fielder had just three homers in 42 games this
season. The Rangers had better hope the surgery is successful as they owe him
$138 million through 2020.
The Los Angeles Dodgers released veteran catcher Miguel Olivo, after he bit the
ear of teammate Alex Guerrero with their Triple-A affiliate in Albuquerque.
Guerrero will miss up to five weeks following plastic surgery.
Jimmie Johnson won the pole for the Coca-Cola 600 at a speed of 194.911 mph.
Brad Keselowski qualified second, followed by Kasey Kahne, Danica
Patrick and Clint Bowyer.
Dustin Johnson shot a 5-under-par 65 for the first round lead at the Colonial.
Hunter Mahan, Harris English, Tim Wilkinson and Robert Streb are one shot back.
A letter signed by 50 of the Senate's 55 Democrats was sent to NFL Commissioner
Roger Goodell urging the Washington Redskins to change their name.
Santa Monica restaurant Upper West took out an ad in the Los Angeles Times this
week congratulating their basketball team on their season and their playoff run.
Unfortunately, the team they congratulated was the Lakers and not the Clippers.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
Scoreboard
MLB:
Texas 9 Detroit 2 Final
Toronto 7 Boston 2 Final
Tampa Bay 5 Oakland 2 Final 11
Cleveland 8 Baltimore 7 Final 13
Chi. White Sox 3 N.Y. Yankees 2 Final
Seattle 3 Houston 1 Final
Miami 4 Philadelphia 3 Final
San Francisco 2 Colorado 2 Suspended/6
Pittsburgh 3 Washington 1 Final
N.Y. Mets 5 L.A. Dodgers 3 Final
Atlanta 5 Milwaukee 4 Final
St. Louis 4 Arizona 2 Final
Chi. Cubs 5 San Diego 1 Final
NHL:
Montreal 3 N.Y. Rangers 2 Final OT
Rangers lead series 2-1
Today’s Games
MLB:
Cleveland at Baltimore (7:05 PM)
Texas at Detroit (7:05 PM)
Oakland at Toronto (7:07 PM)
Boston at Tampa Bay (7:10 PM)
N.Y. Yankees at Chi. White Sox (8:10 PM)
Kansas City at L.A. Angels (10:05 PM)
Houston at Seattle (10:10 PM)
L.A. Dodgers at Philadelphia (7:05 PM)
Washington at Pittsburgh (7:05 PM)
Arizona at N.Y. Mets (7:10 PM)
Milwaukee at Miami (7:10 PM)
St. Louis at Cincinnati (7:10 PM)
Colorado at Atlanta (7:35 PM)
Chi. Cubs at San Diego (10:10 PM)
Minnesota at San Francisco (10:15 PM)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
DUH…
Springfield, Massachusetts police pulled over 30-year-old Ricky Allende after he
blew through a stop sign. When Ricky rolled down the window, the officer was
covered in a plume of smoke. Sgt. John Delaney says the officer asked Ricky: "Are
you smoking marijuana while operating this motor vehicle?" Prosecutors won’t be
able to charge Ricky with perjury as he responded: "Why, yes, I am, officer."
However, they will be able to prosecute Ricky on charges of operating under the
influence of drugs, failure to obey a stop sign, and failure to wear a seat belt.
Tulsa, Oklahoma’s Kevin Rash went to his mother and stepfather's house, beat up
both parents, stole their money and car and hit the road. Rash later returned to the
scene after first responders arrived and tried to pick a fight with a firefighter. Tulsa
Police Sgt. Pat Harker said, "One of the firefighters is a professional mixed martial
arts fighter, so that would not have bode well for the young man." As a matter of
fact, the police report did note the family feud was fueled by alcohol.
In a reversal of stereotypical roles, a Martin County, Florida 15-year-old boy called
police to complain that his parents’ loud partying was keeping him awake. The boy
and his mother, 32-year-old Shandra Mickel, got into an argument after she
ordered him out of the shower. That argument turned physical as the kid ended up
restraining mom by holding her against a wall. When police arrived, Shandra kept
nodding off as officers interviewed her and she appeared to be under the influence
of an unknown substance. Police gave the kid a ride to school and mom to jail.
London police say they believe 27-year-old Germain Ibrahim Fofana is responsible
for a number of jewel heists in the city. What led police to suspect Fofana? During
his most recent theft, he left his cell phone behind. If that weren’t helpful enough,
the phone had a photo of himself as the screensaver.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
MO’ DUH…
Associated Press photo editor Karly Sadof was doing her job when she sent out a
photo to the media captioned “Lauren Sherrick of Davenport, Iowa, helps paint a
compass on the Mason City, Iowa, Municipal Airport ramp.” However, Karly is
apparently dissatisfied with her job at AP as the caption also included her cover
letter to Buzzfeed, which listed the top ten reasons why she was the perfect
candidate to be their photo essay editor. No word on whether Karly got the new
job, or kept her old one, but she soon recognized the mistake and resent the photo
with the line, "corrects to remove unneeded information."
Port St. Lucie, Florida’s Brandon Hawkins isn’t having it his way. Brandon has a
long history of problems with his girlfriend's family, which has now gotten
smaller. Authorities say the family has a long history of gunplay, which has
culminated in Brandon’s arrest after he allegedly shot and killed his girlfriend's
mother's boyfriend and wounded her 7-year-old son. They say that Brandon was
pushed over the edge after getting the wrong order at Burger King.
New York education officials have fired substitute teacher Cassandre Fiering over
her lesson plan for a fourth-grade class. Cassandre’s lesson plan involved
discussing her own personal relationships with the students, seeking their opinions
on two men she was dating. Cassandre acted out scenarios with her students, in
which she played the boyfriends and students took turns pretending to be her. She
allegedly hugged one student and touched two students’ thighs. Cassandre insisted
the day’s activities were fun and the kids were excited to try and help her because
one guy was being a jerk to her. Presumably that was the guy Cassandre asked
students to toilet paper the house of. In addition to the school, Cassandre has also
ended her relationship with both men.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 23rd, 2014
HISTORY LESSON…
1829: Cyrill Demian was granted a patent for the accordion
1873: The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, aka the Mounties, were established.
1876: Boston's Joe Borden pitched the first no-hitter in National League history
1934: Bonnie and Clyde were shot to death by police in Louisiana
1962: The NBA approved the Philadelphia Warriors move to San Francisco
1963: Paul Revere & the Raiders became the first rock band signed by Columbia
Records
1993: Mickey Rourke won his professional boxing debut in a four-round decision
over Steve Powell in Ft. Lauderdale
1994: The final episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation aired
1999: Pro wrestler Owen Hart died after falling 90 feet while being lowered into a
WWF wrestling ring.
2005: Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch and proclaimed his love for Katie
Holmes
Birthday Partiers:
actress Barbara Barrie (Suddenly Susan, Private Benjamin, Barney Miller) 83
actress Joan Collins (Dynasty's Alexis Carrington) 81
comedian Drew Carey (Drew Carey Show, Who's Line Is It Anyway, The Price is
Right) 56
singer Jewel 40
actress Kelly Monaco (General Hospital, Port Charles) 38
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Saturday,
May 24th, 2014
SATURDAY IN HISTORY…
1626: The Dutch West Indies Trading Co. bought the island of Manhattan from the
Indians for about $24 worth of trinkets.
1844: Samuel F.B. Morse transmitted America's first telegraph message.
1883: The Brooklyn Bridge opened
1935: Major league baseball's first night game took place at Cincinnati's Crosley
Field
1950: Nat ‘Sweetwater’ Clifton from the Harlem Globetrotters became the first
black player in the NBA after the New York Knicks purchased his contract
1962: The NFL announced that half time of regular season games would be cut to
15 minutes
1995: Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss was sentenced to three years in prison and
fined $1,500 for running a call girl ring
2001: 15-year-old Temba Tsheri became the youngest person to reach the summit
of Mount Everest.
Birthday Partiers:
comedian Tommy Chong (Cheech and Chong, That 70's Show) 76
singer Bob Dylan 73
actor Gary Burghoff (M*A*S*H's Radar O'Reilly) 71
singer Patti LaBelle 70
actress Priscilla Presley (The Naked Gun, Dallas) 69
singer Roseanne Cash 69
actress Kristin Scott Thomas (The Horse Whisperer, The English Patient, Gosford
Park) 54
actor John C. Reilly (Talladega Nights, The Aviator, Chicago) 49
actor Will Sasso (Less Than Perfect, Mad TV, Three Stooges) 39
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Sunday,
May 25th, 2014
SUNDAY IN HISTORY…
1844: Stuart Perry of New York City patented the gasoline engine.
1925: John T. Scopes was indicted in Tennessee for teaching Darwin's theory of
evolution.
1927: Ford Motor Company announced it was discontinuing the Model T
1932: The Disney character Goofy made his debut in Mickey's Revue
1935: Babe Ruth hit his 714th and final home run
1951: Willie Mays made his major league debut with the New York Giants.
1961: President Kennedy called for the U.S. to send a man to the moon by the end
of the decade
1965: Cassius Clay knocked out challenger Sonny Liston with the infamous
"phantom punch"
1969: The movie Midnight Cowboy premiered in New York.
1977: The movie Star Wars opened
1978: Keith Moon performed with the Who for the last time
1986: An estimated seven million Americans participated in Hands Across
America
1992: Jay Leno debuted as host of the Tonight Show.
2006: Former Enron chiefs Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were convicted of
conspiracy and fraud
2011: Oprah Winfrey's final daytime show aired after 25 years on the air.
Birthday Partiers:
actor Sir Ian McKellen (The Lord of the Rings, The Da Vinci Code, X-Men) 75
actor Mike Myers (Austin Powers, Wayne's World, Shrek) 51
actress Anne Heche (Six Days Seven Nights, John Q, Men in Trees) 45
actor Jamie Kennedy (Malibu's Most Wanted, Scream, Ghost Whisperer) 44
actress Molly Sims (Las Vegas, Yes Man, Fired Up) 41