It’s a short week
due to the
Thanksgiving
holiday…Bitman
will publish
MondayWednesday only!
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
THE BITS…
Pitbull hosted the American Music Awards last night. I thought Pitbull looked
much better since he was given up by Michael Vick.
The American Music Awards were handed out last night. It was a big night for
One Direction. They won for favorite album, favorite group and fewest directions.
The American Music Awards were handed out last night. Chris Brown took home
the award for Angriest Artist.
The American Music Awards were on last night. The show ran long because after
she won each of her awards, Taylor Swift thanked all of her ex-boyfriends.
Miley Cyrus closed the American Music Awards last night by performing with an
animated singing kitten. Unfortunately, the kitten is being accused of lip synching.
Miley Cyrus performed on the American Music Awards while wearing huge Lucite
bracelets. In fact, Miley’s bracelets covered more of her body than her outfit did.
Miley Cyrus’ home was burglarized on Friday. Like her performance at the MTV
Awards, there were no signs of forced entry.
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban says the NBA should allow human growth
hormone. Maybe that could finally solve the NBA’s problem of not having enough
tall players.
An Oakland Raiders fan jumped from the third deck of the stadium after
yesterday’s game, injuring herself and a man who tried to catch her. Apparently it
was legal because the guy failed to signal a fair catch.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
SON OF THE BITS…
A huge Arctic air mass is gripping much of the nation. In fact, it’s so cold in New
York that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for chicken soup.
A huge Arctic air mass is gripping much of the nation. In fact, it’s so cold in New
York photographers are taking pictures of Alec Baldwin just to feel his hot temper.
President Obama has made a deal with Iran on their nuclear weapons. Under the
deal, Iran’s nuclear weapons program will be delayed indefinitely by having their
bombs built by the same people that developed the Obamacare website.
A man named Mark Parisi plans to buy a new Nissan 370Z with the $35,000 he’s
getting from selling one of his testicles to medical researchers. The good news is
that the car should add a few inches elsewhere.
Elon University in North Carolina is offering a course that teaches students to
sexually pleasure themselves. Of course, you could also screw yourself at college
by taking out a student loan.
A new study finds that kids of today are less fit than they were in previous decades.
My kid was so stunned when I told him that, he almost dropped his Cheetos and
his X-Box controller.
A new study finds that kids of today are less fit than they were in previous decades.
It’s sad. My kid gets winded watching ESPN.
The longtime head of Progressive Insurance has died. He leaves behind a wife, Flo,
the Progressive Insurance lady.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
TODAY’S BITMAN AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we have clips from Saturday Night
Live, The Amazing Race, Sunday Night Football, The Walking Dead
and The American Music Awards.
Plus more from Ron Jordan and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at
BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at
BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne
Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or
amunos@unitedstations.com
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
MILEY CYRUS turned 21 on Saturday, but she didn’t start her birthday weekend
off on a good note as her house was burglarized on Friday. The burglary happened
sometime in the afternoon and there were no signs of forced entry. No word on
what was stolen from the house.
There’s more to that home burglary of NICOLAS CAGE'S baby mama. It was
reported that stolen items included naked photos of Cage, although he denied it.
Computers were also stolen and one of them supposedly had a sex video starring
CHARLIE SHEEN, which is now being shopped around. A guy named Ricardo
Orozco has been charged with the burglary and he and another guy named Darwin
Vela met with Charlie's people to give him a chance to buy the video and keep it
off the market. Vela is a key witness in the case and when he took his dog for a
walk last week, the Chocolate Lab returned home without him, trembling and
whimpering with human blood on its leash. TMZ spoke with several men who’ve
never proven to be fearful in the past, but were literally shaking in their boots when
they talked to them about Orozco and the burglary. Vela eventually turned up, but
told cops he’d been kidnapped and they’re looking into the matter.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE had a mini meltdown on the red carpet last week while
promoting "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire" in New York City. Jennifer began
screaming back at a pack of photographers who were shouting to get her attention
as she posed for pictures and the YouTube video is going viral! (See here)
LAMAR ODOM admits he fell off the wagon last week, but he says it was booze
and not crack that did him in. This comes after TMZ posted a video showing him
slurring his words in an L.A. bathroom as he rapped with a shirtless friend (Here)
JOSH BROLIN has reportedly checked into a Northern California rehab facility
for treatment of substance abuse. No word on what substance he was abusing, but
Brolin did get into a couple of altercations this month.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
MICHAEL JACKSON’S physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, gave his first interview
since being released from prison and offered up a little TMI. Murray says that
Jackson was incontinent and had to wear a catheter. Murray said, “I held his penis
every night. I had to put a condom catheter on him because Michael dripped urine.
He had a loss of sensation and was incontinent. Michael didn’t know how to put a
condom on, so I had to do it for him.” Murray also revealed, “He also had a hip
condition where the hip bone comes out of the socket” and that he helped Michael
with the plastic prosthetic tip he taped to the end of his nose and that Michael’s
feet were so infected with fungus, he was in constant pain.
ABC News' AMY ROBACH says that during her bilateral mastectomy her doctor
found a second, previously undetected malignancy and discovered that her cancer
had spread to her sentinel lymph node. As bad as that sounds, Amy says her
prognosis is good and that she’ll be back to work next Monday.
Chef GIADA DE LAURENTIIS sliced her finger during the Food Network's
annual Thanksgiving Live special on Saturday. Apparently her knife slipped while
she was trying to cut some turkey and she looked like she was about to faint. Giada
left for repairs and later sent an Instagram photo of her wounds with the caption:
"Before & After...an adjustment to my normal mani!" (See here)
BROOKE HOGAN is back on the market after calling off her engagement to
Dallas Cowboys player Phil Costa. Her rep says Brooke moved back to L.A. a
couple of weeks ago to focus on her "passion and love" of music and expects to
release her album in the spring.
Clint's daughter FRANCESCA EASTWOOD married Jonah Hill's brother, Jordan
Feldstein, in Las Vegas last week. It was one of those quickie wedding chapel
ceremonies and while a marriage license was filed, Francesca was already spotted
out without a ring, making some wonder of it was the real deal.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 3…
TOM CRUISE is said to be heartbroken and desperately wants to reunite with
KATIE HOLMES. A supposed insider told The National Enquirer: “Tom is in
constant contact with Katie about Suri via phone and email, and he’s realized that
he wants Katie back. There’s no other woman in his life, and he wants the three of
them to be a family again, especially with the holidays around the corner.” The
insider also said, “If Scientology weren’t a factor, Tom and Katie probably would
have reunited by now.” As for Katie, she’s filming a move in South Africa and
they say she flipped for co-star Luke Kirby before discovering that he was still
seeing his former girlfriend.
Little Miss Sunshine star ABIGAIL BRESLIN is all grown up and she posed
topless in a series of racy photos for celebrity photographer Tyler Shields.
Actually, at 17, Abigail isn’t quite grown up legally, but her breasts are
strategically covered in the photos. Shields told Us Weekly of the shoot, "Abigail
wanted to do something new, something iconic."
A newlywed couple was taking wedding photos in New York when they got photo
bombed by ZACH BRAFF. The photographer didn’t notice it until he got back
home to Germany and then tweeted the image to Mr. Braff saying: 'Sir, I think you
photo bombed my newlywed couple the other day in New York. :) Well played…"
Braff then confirmed that the image was him by tweeting it out to his followers
with the message: "This is one of my best photo bombs ever." (See here)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
This Weekend’s Top 10 Movies…
1. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire: $161.1 million
2. Thor: The Dark World: $14.12 million
3. The Best Man Holiday: $12.5 million
4. Delivery Man: $8.2 million
5. Free Birds: $5.3 million
6. Last Vegas: $4.4 million
7. Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa: $3.45 million
8. Gravity: $3.3 million
9. 12 Years a Slave: $2.8 million
10. Dallas Buyers Club: $2.77 million
THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE’S $161.1 million opening is the
biggest November debut ever. However, it’s not the year’s biggest opening as that
honor goes to Iron Man 3 with $174 million.
HBO is developing a comedy created by DIABLO CODY and produced by
OPRAH WINFREY based on Julie Holland's as-yet-unreleased book Moody
Bitches: The Truth About the Drugs You're Taking, the Sex You're Not Having,
The Sleep You're Missing, and What's Really Making You Crazy.
KATIE COURIC has reportedly signed a new deal with Yahoo. No word on what
Katie will be doing with the company, but details could be announced today.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
MUSIC NOTES…
AVICII says he’s already focused on his next album and expects to have it out
sometime next year. (See interview here)
THE BEASTIE BOYS are suing a company called GoldieBlox, which makes
sophisticated toys for girls. They’re suing over a reworking of their song Girls in a
video for one of their toys. The Beasties are suing for copyright infringement
while GoldieBlox says it’s a parody and therefore legal. (See here)
The documentary Artifact, about the feud between 30 SECONDS TO MARS and
its former label, EMI, and the recording of their 2009 album "This is War," will be
released next week. The film will be available on iTunes, Amazon and other
similar platforms.
JUSTIN BIEBER has released a short film to promote his latest fragrance. The clip
shows multiple models drifting off to sleep only to dream that Bieber has crept into
their hotel rooms to fulfill their every fantasy, such as running around cities handin-hand or being fed macaroons. (See here)
TAYLOR SWIFT is featured in the new issue of New York magazine. It includes
an article that suggests Taylor is a bigger music star than Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus
or Lady Gaga saying, "Swift has moved from teen-pop stardom to adulthood,
bringing her old fans along while staying wholesome enough for the next
generation of tweens and their parents."
MICK JAGGER will become a great-grandfather early next year when his 21-yearold daughter, Assisi, has her baby. Assisi tells Hello magazine that Jagger was
pleased when she told him the news saying, “He said, ‘Well done.’”
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
MUSIC NOTES 2…
Following her one off reunion with FLEETWOOD MAC in September,
CHRISTINE MCVIE now says she wants to rejoin the band. Christine says, "I
miss them all. If they were to ask me I would probably be very delighted…but it
hasn't happened so we'll have to wait and see."
A tribute to GEORGE JONES was held in Nashville on Friday. It was originally
intended to be Jones' retirement show, but was billed as 'Playin' Possum: The Final
No-Show.' The diverse lineup featured artists such as Garth Brooks, George Strait,
Kid Rock and Megadeth and Sam & Dave's Sam Moore.
WILLIE NELSON has been forced to postpone the rest of his November tour dates
after his band’s bus crashed. Billie English, Thomas Hawkins and Paul English
were injured in the crash on an icy highway outside of Sulphur Springs, Texas, on
Saturday. Billy suffered a bruised hip, Hawkins has a cracked rib and Paul injured
his ankle. Willie wasn’t on the bus, but he says the tour will resume on December
10th in Las Vegas.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS WINNERS…
Artist of the Year: Taylor Swift
Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist: Justin Timberlake
Favorite Pop/Rock Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite Pop/Rock Band/Duo/Group: One Direction
Favorite Pop/Rock Album: One Direction, Take Me Home
Favorite Country Female Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite Country Male Artist: Luke Bryan
Favorite Country Band/Duo/Group: Lady Antebellum
Favorite Country Album: Taylor Swift, Red
Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Artist: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Album: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, The Heist
Favorite Adult Contemporary Music Artist: Maroon 5
Favorite Electronic Dance Music Artist: Avicii
Favorite Soul/R&B Male Artist: Justin Timberlake
Favorite Soul/R&B Female Artist: Rihanna
Favorite Soul/R&B Album: Justin Timberlake, The 20/20 Experience—The
Complete Experience
Favorite Adult Contemporary Artist: Imagine Dragons
Favorite Latin Artist: Marc Anthony
New Artist of the Year: Ariana Grande
Single of the Year: "Cruise," Florida George Line Feat. Nelly
Icon Award: Rihanna
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
TUBULAR…
Daytime:
GMA: Pitbull performs; San Francisco Batkid Miles Scott
Today: Ringo Starr is reunited with teens from a 1964 photo
Kelly & Michael: Stanley Tucci; Amber Tamblyn
The View: Actress Niecy Nash
The Talk: Guest co-host Carnie Wilson
Queen Latifah: Whoopi Goldberg; Tim Conway; Travie McCoy and Patrick
Stump perform
Ellen: Lady Gaga performs; guest DJ tWitch
Primetime:
ABC: Kellie Pickler and TLC perform on Dancing with the Stars
CBS: It’s an all-rhyming episode of How I Met Your Mother and Susan Sarandon
guest stars on Mike & Molly as Molly's favorite author who gives her a writing
lesson.
NBC: The Voice Top 8 contestants perform
ESPN: Monday Night Football with the 49ers at Redskins
ESPN2: College hoops’ Progressive Legends Classic and Maui Invitational
NBC Sports: Hockey with the Wild at Blues
Late Night:
Jay Leno: Bette Midler; Michael Buble performs.
David Letterman: Josh Hutcherson; sportscaster Christopher ``Mad Dog'' Russo;
Sky Ferreira performs
Jimmy Kimmel: Demi Lovato; actor Emile Hirsch; AFI performs
Conan: Mike Tyson, Katie Aselton and musical guests Spin Doctors (R)
Jimmy Fallon: Kelly Ripa; actor Stephen Moyer; Mazzy Star performs
Craig Ferguson: Mark Harmon; chef Wolfgang Puck
Arsenio: Mario Lopez; Juicy J
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Monday,
May 29th,
2009
November
25th,
2013
THE WATERCOOLER…
GQ magazine has come out with their list of the least influential people of 2013.
Topping the list is Dennis Rodman, who the magazine calls a “Q-list celebrity
willing to commit borderline treason just to hang out with a dictator who himself
aspires to be a Q-list celebrity.” Also on the list were Miley Cyrus, President
Obama, former sexting U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner and celebrity chef Paula Deen.
Other celebrities deemed non-influential include Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Ryan
Reynolds and Will Smith.
Anthony Weiner's sexting partner, Sydney Leathers, is slicing off a portion of her
lady parts and auctioning it to the highest bidder. Word is that Sydney’s recent
foray into porn made her self-conscious about what she calls "excess skin" down
there so she's decided to undergo a labiaplasty for fun and profit. She apparently
plans to undergo the procedure this week.
A man named Mark Parisi plans to buy a new Nissan 370Z. While that’s not too
unusual, his trade-in is quite odd. Parisi is planning to sell one of his testicles for
$35,000 in order to buy the car. The said body part will be used for medical
research. Apparently Parisi is letting his boy go cheap as Snopes says that a single,
quality testicle should fetch between $50,000 and $160,000.
The Color of the Year for 2014 is…Exclusive Plum. At least that’s according to
Sherwin-Williams. It’s described as a sophisticated grayish violet and they say,
"This dusky, filtered violet is refined without being stuffy, elegant yet easy, and
layered with romantic potential." They say the color is versatile and can be used in
a variety of spaces: For a cozy, masculine den, pair it with accents of copper and
worn leather, or highlighted against white subway tile and chrome in the master
bath, the pops of magenta and chartreuse make for a more energetic space.
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Monday,
May 29th,
2009
November
25th,
2013
THE WATERCOOLER 2…
The city of San Rafael, California has passed a smoking ban that officials say is the
toughest in the nation. The new law makes it illegal for residents to smoke in their
own homes if they share a wall with another dwelling. Not only does the law apply
to apartment renters, but condominiums owners as well. They say studies show
that secondhand smoke seeps through ventilating ducts, walls and even through
cracks and affects the unit next door, causing negative health impacts. Oddly
enough, they say there was hardly any opposition to the ban.
Someone in Key Largo, Florida is selling what they claim are Jesus Christ’s
toenails on eBay. In the item description, the seller writes: “While traveling
through Europe, I went to see a seer, or as Americans like to call them, ‘psychic.’ I
stayed in Germany for a couple of months, then decided to travel. I found myself in
a little border town in the Czech Republic. This short, little older woman, whom
appeared to be about 150 years old, popped out of a doorway and grabbed my
hand. Scared the bagebers out of me. Then she pulled me into this dilapidated
doorway and said she had a gift for me. As I held out my hand and looked into her
gray eyes, I noticed moles on the side of her face with hairs sticking out of them.
To me, this indicated she was very, very old. Then she proceeded to tell me what
they were. Well, I figured they could not be real because it’s not like I could get a
DNA test on them. Who would I ask, God? Now I figured I would part with them
or try to sell them on my own website. Maybe they could find a good home with a
curator who believes this is true.” Hurry, the sale ends tomorrow.
You wouldn’t think this would be necessary, but Elon University in North Carolina
is offering a course that teaches students how to pleasure themselves. The class is
taught by professors Liz Sheehan and Jeff Kaufman and each week is geared
toward learning a new technique, helping both men and women do it in new ways.
Bitman
Bitman
By
David
By David Evjen
Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
Monday,
May 29th,
2009
November
25th,
2013
THE WATERCOOLER 3…
For 100 years, a big, white letter ‘N’ has been emblazoned on a hill overlooking
Reno, Nevada. However, recently a letter "A" made with chalk mysteriously
appeared next to the "N." The mystery has been solved. Brent Wilbur said, "I was
trying to write a woman's name, 'Tina,' I started with the 'A' and just ran out of
steam." Wilbur said it took five and a half hours of exhausting work with a chalk
spreader to create the "A," and he abandoned plans for the "T" and "I." Wilbur
said Tina is someone he dated four years ago for a nine month time period adding,
"I owe her a great many apologies for the way I treated her." Luckily, officials say
they don’t expect to file charges against Wilbur.
Tokyo now has what is called a Nap Café. The place is for women only and they
rent beds by the minute so sleepy ladies can take a quick nap. The café has rows of
twin-sized beds, each one with its own canopy curtain partition and they offer a
variety of pillows. The price of the nap is $1.80 for every 10 minutes. However,
you’d better get your rest before nightfall because the place becomes a bar/karaoke
lounge at night.
There’s an ad on Craigslist in Washington D.C. seeking a ‘naked roommate.’ The
ad reads: Want to live in a penthouse in Chinatown for basically free ($1/month
rent to make lease legal)? Then read on. I'm a male looking for another male
(straight or bisexual w/girlfriend preferred, but masculine gay is cool too) to be my
naked roommate. Sounds crazy, but this is for real. You should be 26 or younger
and very attractive. Arraignment would be mostly "looking" but some "touching"
will be required (how much/often is negotiable).
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
SPORTS SHIRT…
Not only did the Kansas City Chiefs lose again yesterday, they lost outside
linebackers Justin Houston and Tamba Hali to injuries. There’s no official word
yet, but the team sounded like they were expecting to be without them in next
Sunday's game against the Denver Broncos and beyond. Both players are
scheduled for MRIs today.
Jon Bon Jovi is one of several parties in the running to buy the Buffalo Bills. The
team is expected to go on the market after current owner Ralph Wilson passes
away. Wilson is 95.
Lambeau Field was hovering around 20 degrees Fahrenheit with a wind chill factor
of about 9 degrees for yesterday’s game against the Vikings. However, that didn’t
stop a group of female fans from wearing bikinis at the game!
Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose will have surgery to repair a medial
meniscus tear in his right knee today in Chicago. While there’s no official word on
how long Rose will be out of action, some are speculating that it could be four-tosix months.
The latest Associated Press college football poll again has Alabama on top with
Florida State, Ohio State, Auburn and Missouri rounding out the top five.
Sebastian Vettel won Formula One's season-ending Brazilian Grand Prix. The win
tied him with Michael Schumacher's record of 13 victories in a year and equaled
the nine consecutive wins of Alberto Ascari.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
Scoreboard
Today’s Games
NFL
Pittsburgh 27 Cleveland 11 Final
Tampa Bay 24 Detroit 21 Final
Minnesota 26 Green Bay 26 Final OT
Jacksonville 13 Houston 6 Final
Baltimore 19 N.Y. Jets 3 Final
San Diego 41 Kansas City 38 Final
St. Louis 42 Chicago 21 Final
Carolina 20 Miami 16 Final
Arizona 40 Indianapolis 11 Final
Tennessee 23 Oakland 19 Final
Dallas 24 N.Y. Giants 21 Final
New England 34 Denver 31 Final OT
NFL
San Francisco at Washington (8:40 PM)
NBA:
Detroit 109 Brooklyn 97 Final
L.A. Clippers 121 Chicago 82 Final
Phoenix 104 Orlando 96 Final
Oklahoma City 95 Utah 73 Final
L.A. Lakers 100 Sacramento 86
NHL:
Pittsburgh at Boston (7:00 PM)
Columbus at Toronto (7:00 PM)
Winnipeg at New Jersey (7:00 PM)
N.Y. Rangers at Tampa Bay (7:30 PM)
Philadelphia at Florida (7:30 PM)
Minnesota at St. Louis (8:00 PM)
Phoenix at Nashville (8:00 PM)
Chicago at Edmonton (9:30 PM)
Los Angeles at Vancouver (10:00 PM)
NHL:
Detroit 3 Buffalo 1 Final
Carolina 4 Ottawa 1 Final
NCAAM:
North Carolina 93 Louisville 84
Charlotte 63 Michigan 61 Final
Duke 91 Vermont 90 Final
NBA:
Boston at Charlotte (7:00 PM)
Minnesota at Indiana (7:00 PM)
Milwaukee at Detroit (7:30 PM)
Phoenix at Miami (7:30 PM)
Houston at Memphis (8:00 PM)
Denver at Dallas (8:30 PM)
New Orleans at San Antonio (8:30 PM)
Chicago at Utah (9:00 PM)
New York at Portland (10:00 PM)
NCAAM:
Minnesota at Syracuse (5:30 PM)
DePaul at Wichita St. (9:50 PM)
Wyoming at Ohio St. (7:00 PM)
Florida at Jacksonville (7:00 PM)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
DUH…
Kara Koriath was driving on Interstate 270 in Missouri with her two teenage sons
when she wrecked her SUV, seriously injuring all inside and causing a huge traffic
jam. Police say they believe she left the roadway due to a distraction from
fireworks being ignited inside the vehicle. They also noted that Kara was under the
influence of prescription medication, which she’ll now need more of.
Kenner, Louisiana police arrested 19-year-old Johnny Washington after he
allegedly put on a ski mask, grabbed a shotgun and confronted a neighbor,
demanding that he hand over his cell phone and wallet. The neighbor called police
after he saw Washington go into a nearby home where he was arrested.
Waldoboro, Maine’s 31-year-old Joseph M. Lewis approached the front door of the
Damariscotta Bank & Trust wearing a ski mask. Unfortunately, when Lewis
attempted to open the door he found that it was locked. It seems he arrived just
after closing time, but the employees who were still inside got his license plate
number and forwarded it on to police, who soon found Lewis and his ski mask and
placed him under arrest.
Florida’s Port Charlotte Town Centre Mall was recently locked down after
deputies received word of a man carrying a handgun. In addition to the mall,
several nearby schools were also put on lockdown while deputies searched the
building. After over an hour, deputies finally located the man in question and
discovered he was a waiter at a local restaurant and he had been carrying his
folded-up apron around the mall.
An unnamed man took a suspicious-looking Thermos with tinfoil sticking out of
the lid into an Oklahoma City police briefing station. Officers ordered the man to
leave the object outside. Authorities were cautious because of how heavy it was
and the tinfoil protruding from the lid. After the bomb squad X-rayed the item it
was determined that the container held a burrito and was not dangerous.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
MO’ DUH…
Four cases of hand bells, each weighing about 40 pounds, were reported missing
from a locked closet inside Sheboygan First Presbyterian Church in April. Earlier
this month, church officials were contacted by a California man who’d purchased
some of the bells on eBay and found labels baring the church’s name. The bells
were traced back to a pawn shop where staff said church elder David A. Neese had
sold them earlier this year. Neese has been charged with one count of felony theft
and faces up to three years in prison if convicted.
Taylor Radig is associated with the animal rights organization Compassion Over
Killing and she filmed abuse taking place at Kersey, Colorado’s Quanah Cattle
Company from mid-July through September. Taylor handed over the video to the
Weld County Sheriff's Office two months after she quit working there. Ironically,
it’s Taylor that’s been charged with animal cruelty because she didn't report the
abuse when it was happening, which is a violation of state law.
Georgia’s 28-year-old Jermaine Lloyd was trying to get dressed when he was
interrupted. It seems that Lloyd was interrupted by police as he hid behind a tree in
Lake Olmstead Park while trying to put on pink women’s panties and pantyhose.
Lloyd attempted to flee from officers, which he found to be difficult while wearing
high heels and a turban. As he was being subdued, he dropped a purple Crown
Royal bag that cleared things up for police when they found cocaine and marijuana
inside. It wasn’t Lloyd’s first encounter with deputies this month, as he was pulled
over for DUI, but ran away and escaped arrest. While preparing his vehicle for
towing, police also found cocaine and marijuana.
Out of the running for Mother of the Year is Immokalee, Florida’s 19-year-old
Alisia Alverez. Alisia got into a fight with her baby daddy after she tried to take
their 1-year-old child to work with her. It seems Alisia was intending to work the
streets as a prostitute to get money to buy drugs. The baby daddy restrained Alisia
and called police, who arrested her on domestic violence charges.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Monday,
November 25th, 2013
HISTORY LESSON…
1867: Alfred Nobel invented dynamite
1920: A college football game was first broadcast on the radio as Texas University
beat Texas A&M 7-3
1957: President Eisenhower suffered a slight stroke
1963: The body of President Kennedy was laid to rest at Arlington National
Cemetery
1973: The national speed limit was reduced to 55 miles per hour
1976: O.J. Simpson of the Buffalo Bills ran for 273 yards against the Detroit Lions.
1980: Sugar Ray Leonard beat Roberto Duran in the "No Mas" fight
1984: Top superstars recorded the charity single Do They Know It's Christmas as
Band Aid
1986: The Iran-Contra affair erupted as President Reagan and Attorney General
Edwin Meese revealed profits from secret arms sales to Iran went to Nicaraguan
rebels.
1996: Disneyland staged its last nightly Main Street Electrical Parade
2002: The Department of Homeland Security was created
2008: NFL quarterback Michael Vick pleaded guilty to dog fighting charges.
2009: The last U.S. built Pontiac rolled off the assembly line.
Birthday Partiers:
football's/NASCAR's Joe Gibbs 73
actor Ben Stein (Ferris Beuller's Day Off, Win Ben Stein's Money) 69
actor John Larroquette (Night Court, Boston Legal, Deception) 66
dancer Bruno Toniloi (Dancing With the Stars) 58
singer Amy Grant 53
actress Jill Hennessy (Law & Order, Crossing Jordan, Wild Hogs) 45
actress Christina Applegate (Married With Children, Samantha Who, Up All
Night) 42