Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
THE BITS…
Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling was interviewed by CNN’s Anderson
Cooper last night. He seemed sincere, he seemed forthright, and he seemed
believable. Not Donald Sterling; Anderson Cooper.
Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling was interviewed by CNN’s Anderson
Cooper last night. I don’t want to say the interview went badly, but now Solange
wants to beat Sterling up.
Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling was interviewed by CNN’s Anderson
Cooper last night. During the interview, Sterling criticized Magic Johnson, saying
he behaved badly, he doesn’t help people and that he’s not really a magician.
Solange was seen on video getting into a fight with her sister Beyoncé’s husband,
Jay Z, in an elevator. The good news for Solange is that she finally scored a hit.
Solange was seen on video getting into a fight with her sister Beyoncé’s husband,
Jay Z, in an elevator. Apparently Jay-Z now has 100 problems.
Solange was seen on video getting into a fight with her sister Beyoncé’s husband,
Jay Z, in an elevator. However, Solange now says that she was just auditioning for
the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Singer Clay Aiken's Democratic primary rival for Congress in North Carolina has
died. They say it’ll force a sing-off with Ruben Studdard.
Rumor has it that Dolly Parton’s breasts are covered in tattoos. In a related story,
it’s reported that there’s a worldwide shortage of tattoo ink.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
SON OF THE BITS…
Yesterday fans got their first glimpse of the new Batmobile from the upcoming
Batman versus Superman movie. Unfortunately, the new Batmobile was then
recalled by General Motors.
The Chicago Cubs recently lost their 10,000th game. They say the Cubs are now
mathematically eliminated through the 2035 season.
The Chicago Cubs recently lost their 10,000th game. On the bright side, the Cubs
are only 9,990 games out of first place.
John Boehner says he expects to be re-elected as House speaker in January. Let’s
hope so because we wouldn’t want anything to interrupt the speedy, efficient, nononsense work that Congress has become known for.
AT&T is in talks to buy DirecTV for $50 billion. It sounds like a lot of money, but
DirecTV is offering AT&T 30 days of free HBO.
AT&T is in talks to buy DirecTV for $50 billion. When you get bought by AT&T
your phone bill goes up. When your phone bill goes up, you can’t afford a TV.
When you can’t afford a TV, you can’t watch satellite television. Don’t get bought
by AT&T.
Transylvania’s Bran Castle, the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula, is up for
sale. They say it’s a cozy place to fang your hat.
Transylvania’s Bran Castle, the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula, is up for
sale and the listing agent says someone could make big money refurbishing the
castle and charging people to stay there. It could be a nice blood and breakfast.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
TODAY’S BITMAN AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we have reality fun with Dancing with
the Stars and The Voice, plus a late night roundup with Dave, Conan,
Craig, the Jimmys and Seth.
Plus more from Pamela Furr and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at
BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at
BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne
Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or
amunos@unitedstations.com
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
There was a Knowles family feud following the recent Met Gala in New York. A
video has surfaced showing BEYONCÉ’S sister SOLANGE getting into a fight
with JAY Z in an elevator at the Standard Hotel. No word on what started the fight,
but security footage shows Solange yelling at Jay Z and hitting and kicking him
while Beyoncé stands by. One of their security guards tries to restrain Solange, but
is only somewhat successful as he also presses a button to stop the elevator so no
one can witness the brawl. At no point did Jay Z strike Solange, and as they left the
hotel Beyonce and Solange got into one car together, while Jay Z left in a separate
vehicle. No one has commented yet aside from the hotel, which said they were
shocked and disappointed that their security had been breached. (See here)
If you’re wondering who MILEY CYRUS’ Wrecking Ball is about, apparently it’s
Liam Hemsworth! Miley went on an expletive-filled rant during an appearance at
London's G.A.Y. club as she introduced the song by saying, "... and every time you
get in your car, you're going to hear my f--king song on the f--king radio, you piece
of s--t. That's right. And then I'm gonna take all my clothes off, I'm gonna sit on a
big, giant d--k—sometimes two—I'm gonna swing around, and then I'm gonna
hold the record for the most-watched music video on Vevo. So then—you know,
you can tell a lot about a person—I think you can tell how big their d--k is by how
much confidence they have usually, and if I was a dude I'd probably have a really
big d--k, ‘cause I feel really good about myself now. So I'm gonna tell those
motherf--kers that broke my heart, particularly one, to suck my fat d--k and to
enjoy hearing this song for the rest of your life. This song is called Wrecking Ball."
(See here-most has been bleeped-preview!)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
L.A. County Sheriff Lt. Dave Thompson thinks JUSTIN BIEBER should be
prosecuted for felony vandalism for egging his neighbor's house and the judge who
signed the search warrant agrees. Since Justin caused $20,000 in damage, it’s well
above the threshold of monetary damage that would qualify as a felony. Lt.
Thompson also says he wouldn’t have led a team into a house where there's armed
security for a misdemeanor case. However, it’s up to the D.A. to decide whether to
charge of Bieber with a misdemeanor or a felony. Meanwhile, it turns out Bieber’s
skateboarding stunt wasn’t as dangerous as it looked. Video taken from a different
angle shows the van Justin was clinging to was barely doing 10 mph. (See here)
Yet another kid has come forward to sue MICHAEL JACKSON’S estate, claiming
he was sexually abused for years. The documents have been sealed, but the man in
question is believed to be James Safechuck, who appeared in a 1987 Pepsi ad with
Jackson. Safechuck was mentioned as a potential abuse victim by Neverland
Ranch employees ahead of Jackson’s 2005 criminal trial, but he always denied that
anything inappropriate happened, so the employees’ testimony couldn’t be
admitted. While the claims may sound fishy, experts say the average delay in
disclosure for men who’ve been sexually assaulted is 20 years. Back in 1994,
LaToya Jackson told Geraldo Rivera that she and her mother once found a
cancelled check Michael had written for $1 million to the father of one of his boy
pals. She didn’t name names, but said the father is a garbage collector. Safechuck’s
father was and still is in the rubbish disposal business. (See Pepsi ad here)
We’re now finding out that GEORGE CLOONEY won over fiancee Amal
Alamuddin with a series of flirty e-mails, telling her such things as: “I think the
reported hottest man in the world should meet with the hottest human rights lawyer
in the world.” Actually, Clooney had to send her the messages since she wouldn’t
exchange phone numbers with him. While Amal found the messages and using,
she still made him wait a few days before replying.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 3…
DONALD STERLING’S interview with Anderson Cooper aired last night and he
only made things worse for himself. Sterling criticized Magic Johnson as a bad
example for children because of what he did to "get AIDS" back in the '90s. For
the record, Magic is actually HIV positive and doesn’t have AIDS and Sterling
added that Johnson had done nothing for the African-American community.
Sterling also said he believes Magic tricked him into staying quiet in the days after
the scandal erupted as part of a plot to take over the Clippers. At one point it
sounded like Sterling was going to go off on another racist rant, as he raised his
voice and said, "There's no African-American…" but then said "never mind" and
apologized adding, "They all want to play golf with me. Everybody wants to be
with me." For some reason, Sterling also called Anderson Cooper a racist saying,
"I think you have more of a plantation mentality than I do...and I think you're more
of a racist than I am." Sterling also said the players still love him, but it’s the media
that hates him. (See here)
DONALD STERLING could have trouble with his lawsuit against the NBA if they
force him to sell the Los Angeles Clippers. Word is he’s been rejected by at least
eight major law firms because they’re afraid that if they take his case it would
upset existing clients. Sterling is especially tweaked off because a number of
partners in these same law firms have called him to time ask for favors, including
tickets to games. Meanwhile, former Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy
Lasorda recently said that he hoped Sterling’s girlfriend, V. Stiviano, would get hit
by a car. It almost happened in Beverly Hills yesterday as she rear-ended a Range
Rover with the Ferrari Sterling gave her. TMZ says that V. went insane, jumped
out of her car "screaming every obscenity in the book," including, "You know who
you're messing with, mother f*****?" V. also told the other driver she had to
return the Ferrari.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 4…
Legendary radio DJ CASEY KASEM is missing and has apparently been moved
out of the country. During a hearing yesterday, the judge ordered a court
investigator and adult protective services to find out where Kasem is being treated
and report back. Casey suffers from Parkinson's disease and can no longer speak
and has been in various medical facilities chosen by his wife, Jean Kasem. Casey’s
children have complained that they’ve been prevented from seeing their father after
striking a deal with their stepmother allowing them visits. Daughter Kerri Kasem
was appointed her father's temporary caretaker yesterday and her attorney says the
family believes Casey has been taken to an Indian reservation in Washington,
which is sovereign land and could legally be considered out of the country.
The wife of PAUL WALKER’S business partner, Roger Rodas, has filed a lawsuit
over their deadly car crash. In her lawsuit against Porsche, Kristine Rodas claims
the car had a faulty part in the suspension which caused it to careen out of control
and that it lacked a proper "crash cage" and a "racing fuel cell." She also claims
that Porsche ignored multiple fatal crashes that had occurred in the Carrera GT and
never took steps to warn customers. There’s at least one flaw in Kristine’s lawsuit
in that she claims Roger was only doing 55 at the time of the accident, whereas
investigators say he was going somewhere between 80 and 93 mph. Kristine has
hired famed Hollywood attorney Mark Geragos to take the case.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
New Movies on DVD:
Her - Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with computer-generated Amy Adams in nearfuture Los Angeles.
I, Frankenstein - Dr. Frankenstein's creation holds the key to survival in the
modern world. With Aaron Eckhart
That Awkward Moment - Zac Efron and Michael B. Jordan compare notes about
their relationships.
New TV on DVD:
Barney Miller: The Complete Fifth Season
Bret Maverick: The Complete Series
Eastbound & Down: The Complete Fourth Season
Kendra on Top: Season Two
Longmire: The Complete Second Season
Magic City: The Complete Series
Major Crimes: The Complete Second Season
Orange Is the New Black: Season One
Last night on the DANCING WITH THE STARS semifinals show, there was
another surprise exit as Charlie White was sent home from the ballroom. That
leaves Candace Cameron Bure, James Maslow, Amy Purdy and Meryl Davis to
compete in next week’s finals. The finals are on Monday, with the mirror ball
trophy being presented on Tuesday.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD 2…
It looks like AMERICAN IDOL will be downsized next season. Fox says they’ll
probably keep the two-night format during the audition phase, but then move to a
two-hour show one night a week for the rest of the season.
The final season of GLEE was left off Fox’s fall schedule, meaning its final season
will apparently be as a mid-season replacement. Fox had already cut Glee’s final
season from 22 to 20 episodes and now that number could drop to 13.
NBC is planning to air a live production of THE MUSIC MAN. NBC had success
with a live production of The Sound of Music starring Carrie Underwood last year
and is following that with a live version of Peter Pan in December. No word on
when The Music Man will air.
PITBULL will host New Year’s Eve celebrations on the Fox network. "Pitbull’s
New Year’s Revolution" will air live from Miami. Of course, Ryan Seacrest will
be back to host New Year’s Rockin’ Eve on ABC.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES…
New Music in Stores Today…
Tori Amos - “Unrepentant Geraldines”
The Black Keys - “Turn Blue”
Blondie - “Blondie 4(0)-Ever: Greatest Hits Deluxe Redux / Ghosts of Download”
(three discs, including re-recordings of their past hits)
Chromeo - “White Women”
Radney Foster - “Everything I Should Have Said”
Guided By Voices - “Cool Planet”
Michael Jackson - “XSCAPE” (eight newly unearthed recordings)
Dave Mason - “Future’s Past”
John Mayall - “A Special Life”
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - “Are We Not Men? We Are Diva!”
Dolly Parton - “Blue Smoke”
Rascal Flatts - “Rewind”
Michael W. Smith - “Sovereign”
Candi Staton - “Life Happens”
The Civil Wars - “Live At Eddie’s Attic [MP3]“
Reissues (CDs / vinyl)
Dio - “Live in London Hammersmith Apollo 1993" (two discs)
Jefferson Airplane - “Live at the Fillmore: November 25th 1966"
The Troggs - “Wild Thing: The Very Best of The Troggs” (20 tracks; includes
their 1992 collaboration with R.E.M.)
The Who - “Live: Camden NJ 7/27/02" (two CDs, 20 songs)
DVD / Blu-ray
The Dave Clark Five - “The Dave Clark Five and Beyond: Glad All Over [DVD]“
Barry Manilow - “Manilow Live From Paris Las Vegas [DVD]“
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES 2…
SOUNDGARDEN will perform their 1994 album "Superunknown" in its entirety
at New York's Webster Hall on June 2nd. "Superunknown" will be re-issued in
deluxe form the following day. Soundgarden will hit the road this summer with
Nine Inch Nails starting July 19th.
ROBERT PLANT recently wrapped up work on a new and as yet untitled solo
album, which will be out on September 9th. Plant says of the album, “It’s really a
celebratory record, but it’s very crunchy and gritty, very West African and very
Massive Attack-y." Plant will be on the road with the Sensational Space Shifters
this summer and has also been talking with Alison Krauss about recording a
follow-up to Raising Sand.
ONE DIRECTION are working on a sequel to their 2013 documentary film This Is
Us. Director Morgan Spurlock says the sequel will follow the boys as they embark
on their 'Where We Are' world tour.
MIRANDA LAMBERT’S new album, Platinum, will be out on June 3rd.
However, if you just can’t wait, Miranda is sending her vintage 1954 Flying Cloud
Airstream trailer, which she calls “Wanda the Wanderer,” to seven cities to give
fans a preview. You can enter to visit Wanda and hear the album via Miranda’s
website. Wanda’s first stop is in Los Angeles a week from today.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
TUBULAR…
Daytime:
GMA: Valerie Harper; Blondie performs; ``Dancing With the Stars'' castoffs
Today: Actress Emma Roberts; Dolly Parton performs; actor Robert Duvall;
producer Timbaland
Kelly & Michael: Matt Bomer (``The Normal Heart'')
The Talk: Singer Dolly Parton
Queen Latifah: Dancing With the Stars' Carrie Ann Inaba
Ellen: Maya Rudolph
Primetime:
ABC: On Wife Swap, Angie Everhart trades with TV personality Gina Neely, plus
the season finales of The Goldbergs, Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Trophy
Wife
CBS: The season finales of NCIS, with a tribute to actor Ralph Waite, who played
Mark Harmon’s father, NCIS: Los Angeles and Person of Interest
CW: The season finale of The Originals
Fox: The Glee season finale
NBC: The Voice eliminations and Rascal Flatts performs; plus the Chicago Fire
season finale
TNT: NBA hoops Wizards at Pacers and Clippers at Thunder
NBC Sports: NHL hockey Rangers at Penguins
CNBC: NHL hockey Blackhawks at Wild
Late Night:
Jimmy Kimmel: Sally Field; actress Julia Roberts; Future Islands performs (R)
David Letterman: Actor Jim Parsons; TV host Julie Chen; Hozier performs
Jimmy Fallon: Dolly Parton performs
Craig Ferguson: Actor Billy Gardell
Seth Meyers: Actor Will Forte
Conan: Lisa Kudrow; Wild Cub performs
Arsenio: Comic Carl Reiner; Jermaine Dupri sits in with the Posse
Bitman
Bitman
By David
Evjen
By
David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 29th, 2009
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
THE WATERCOOLER…
Singer Clay Aiken's chief rival for the Democratic nomination for Congress in
North Carolina, Keith Crisco, died yesterday after falling at his home. Aiken led
the 71-year-old Crisco by 369 votes, but absentee and provisional ballots are still
being counted.
You may want to pick up some snorkeling gear as two teams of scientists now say
that the vast glaciers of western Antarctica are shrinking and losing ice at a
runaway pace and have almost certainly "passed the point of no return." They say
that it’s likely to mean a rise in global sea levels of four feet or more in the coming
centuries. A second study shows that a half-dozen glaciers are pouring ice into the
sea at an ever-greater pace and the retreat of ice in that area is unstoppable.
If you happen to be traveling to Brazil for the World Cup next month, local police
have put together a pamphlet of top tips for staying safe during the matches. For
example, police politely suggest that you not react, scream or argue should
someone hold you up at gunpoint. Sao Paulo police put together the pamphlet to
warn visitors not to provoke robbers into further violence, and avoid the
increasingly common crime of "latrocinios" - or robbery that ends in murder.
While the warnings might sound extreme, police say they are there to deal with
realities on the ground, adding: "There is no use crying over spilt milk."
Hydrox cookies, the Oreo clones, could be back in stores as early as September.
While they may look identical, Hydrox is said to be a little crispier; a little less
sugary and supposedly stand up better in milk than Oreos. Hydrox is expected to
be a hit with Baby Boomers, but not so much with Millennials, since the cookies
have been gone for over a decade. Incidentally, Hydrox cookies were on the scene
first, debuting in 1908, followed four years later by Oreos.
Bitman
Bitman
By David
Evjen
By
David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 29th, 2009
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
THE WATERCOOLER 2…
If you’re into vampires and thinking of moving to Transylvania, a house has gone
on the market there that you may be interested in. Bran Castle, the inspiration for
Bram Stoker's Dracula, and one of Romania's top tourist attractions, is up for
grabs. Vlad the Impaler, the inspiration for many vampire tales, is even believed to
have been imprisoned in the castle at one point. The listing agent says the right
owner could make a killing by refurbishing the castle and turning it into "the kind
of place people will stay for two or three days." The asking price is $79 million and
the castle has 57 bedrooms, but zero bathrooms.
If you’re about to enter the job market, the website WalletHub.com has compiled a
list of the best and worst entry-level jobs. They rated the jobs based on starting
salaries, industry growth rate, number of job openings and education requirements.
The best jobs are: Web application developer; Information security analyst;
Designer - web; Attorney; Software engineer; Financial analyst; Market research
analyst; Network engineer; Training specialist and Programmer. The worst entrylevel jobs include high-risk, low-demand and typically low-paying jobs such as:
Consumer loan servicing clerk; Boilermaker; Claims processing clerk; Electronics
assembler; Architectural drafter; Floor assembler; Welder; Teller; Tool and die
maker and Policy processing clerk.
According to a new report, consumers around the world say they want less stuff. In
a survey of 10,574 adults ages 16 and up in 29 nations titled “The New Consumer
and the Sharing Economy,” half said they’d happily live without most of the items
they now own. Meanwhile, 70 percent said that overconsumption puts the planet at
risk, while 65 percent said society would be better off if people shared more and
owned less. It could be especially bad news for automakers as participants said city
dwellers will be more likely to share a car than own one by the year 2050. Unlike
those hoarding reality shows, two-thirds said they make it a point to get rid of
unneeded stuff at least once a year.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
SPORTS SHIRT…
The Cleveland Cavaliers have fired coach Mike Brown…again. Team owner Dan
Gilbert had said that firing Brown in 2010 was the wrong move as he rehired him
last year. The Cavaliers are reportedly interested in Bulls assistant Adrian Griffin.
Steve Kerr is said to be close to a deal to become the new head coach of the New
York Knicks. Official word could come as early as today.
Former Ole Miss guard Marshall Henderson sent several homophobic tweets about
ESPN’s coverage of Michael Sam being drafted, saying his young brothers saw the
kissing clip and included the hashtag ‘sickening.’ However, Henderson later
tweeted that one of his best friends, who is gay, asked him to say those things as
part of his psychology class. However, not too many people are buying that.
It turns out that the St. Louis Rams' decision to draft Michael Sam could have huge
legal implications for gay couples and employees in Missouri. According to
Missouri law, Sam could be fired for just being gay. A bill to change that is
currently in the state legislature, but hasn’t been passed.
St. Louis Rams wide receiver Stedman Bailey has been suspended for the first four
games of the 2014 season for violating the NFL's policy on performance-enhancing
substances.
Less than two weeks after signing Vince Young, the Cleveland Browns have
released him. The Browns chose Johnny Manziel in the draft and no longer have
room for Young on the roster.
The Miami Marlins have placed pitcher Jose Fernandez on the 15-day DL with a
sprained elbow and they believe he’ll need season-ending surgery.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
Scoreboard
MLB:
Detroit 4 Baltimore 1 Final
Toronto 7 L.A. Angels 3 Final
Texas 4 Houston 0 Final
Oakland 5 Chi. White Sox 4 Final
Seattle 12 Tampa Bay 5 Final
Chi. Cubs 17 St. Louis 5 Final
Washington 6 Arizona 5 Final
L.A. Dodgers 6 Miami 5 Final
San Francisco 4 Atlanta 2 Final
N.Y. Mets 9 N.Y. Yankees 7 Final
NBA:
Miami 102 Brooklyn 96 Final
Heat lead series 3-1
Portland 103 San Antonio 92 Final
Spurs lead series 3-1
NHL:
Montreal 4 Boston 0 Final
Series tied 3-3
Anaheim 4 Los Angeles 3 Final
Ducks lead series 3-2
Today’s Games
MLB:
Detroit at Baltimore (7:05 PM)
Cleveland at Toronto (7:07 PM)
Boston at Minnesota (8:10 PM)
Texas at Houston (8:10 PM)
Chi. White Sox at Oakland (10:05 PM)
Tampa Bay at Seattle (10:10 PM)
San Diego at Cincinnati (7:10 PM)
Pittsburgh at Milwaukee (8:10 PM)
Chi. Cubs at St. Louis (8:15 PM)
Washington at Arizona (9:40 PM)
Miami at L.A. Dodgers (10:10 PM)
Atlanta at San Francisco (10:15 PM)
N.Y. Mets at N.Y. Yankees (7:05 PM)
L.A. Angels at Philadelphia (7:05 PM)
Colorado at Kansas City (8:10 PM)
NBA:
Washington at Indiana (7:00 PM)
L.A. Clippers at Oklahoma City (9:30 PM)
NHL:
N.Y. Rangers at Pittsburgh (7:00 PM)
Chicago at Minnesota (9:00 PM)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
DUH…
An unnamed 18-year-old Sullivan, Maine woman was driving on Route 102 when
she crossed the center line and sideswiped an oncoming car and spinning it around
before leaving the roadway and hitting a utility pole. The 87-year-old driver of the
second car complained of pain in her face and was taken to a local hospital. The
18-year-old driver said the accident was caused when she swatted a bee on her leg.
Englewood, Georgia Fire Chief Billy Roach said his men heard a vehicle start up
inside their firehouse early Saturday morning. Seeing as no calls had come in, the
crew went to investigate and saw 41-year old Terri Efaw plow through the large
bay door with their ambulance and drive away. Terri only made it a couple of
miles before the damaged ambulance was stopped by deputies. Terri told officers
she was pregnant and had to rush to the hospital. Apparently the deputies didn’t
believe her as she was instead rushed to jail.
Calumet Park, Illinois’ 23-year-old Emmanuel Ekaette was the perfect host when
an unnamed woman and her 1-year-old child came to visit by offering them each a
slice of cake. When the woman asked several times about leaves in the cake, he
told her they were spices. Yes, the spice in question was cannabis and the woman
later admitted herself and her son to a hospital, and said that the marijuana
exacerbated her anxiety disorder. Emmanuel is also likely suffering from anxiety
as he was ordered held on $50,000 bond after being charged with aggravated
battery, endangering the health of a child and possession of cannabis.
Bend, Oregon’s 54-year-old Robert Short has been charged with robbing the Home
Federal Bank by giving the teller a note written on the back of a grocery receipt.
Unfortunately for Short, the receipt contained the last four digits of his food stamp
account, which was enough to track him down. However, Short said he throws his
receipts away where anyone could’ve picked it up and that someone must’ve stolen
a black stocking cap that was knocked off his head during a struggle at the bank.
Police had an answer for that, too, as Short’s DNA was on the cap.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
MO’ DUH…
Sarasota, Florida police recently conducted a drug sting in their efforts to get socalled designer drugs off the street. Apparently, at least six of the dealers of these
designer drugs were also consumers of said narcotics as not only did they fall for
the police sting, they sold the drugs to undercover cops in the southwest parking lot
of Sarasota City Hall.
Britain’s 39-year-old Corinna Finney and her 53-year-old boyfriend of over a year,
Brian Waite, broke up. However, while discussing whether to reconcile, Finney
found Waite’s online dating profile. Instead of accepting that any reconciliation
was off, Finney instead hired movers to go to Waite’s apartment and empty it of
everything, including the carpets, his clothing and food, along with the fridge, the
television, oven, cutlery, and his curtains. Waite immediately suspected his ex and
she was later arrested and given 15 months of community service. It will surprise
few people that Finney said she wasn’t sorry in the slightest.
Britain’s 19-year-old Bradley Holman is a big fan of Nando’s chicken restaurant
chain. Or, at least he was. To show his devotion, and in hopes of getting one of the
restaurant’s black cards, which guarantees free food for life, Bradley had their logo
tattooed on his butt. Alas, Bradley will have to continue spending over $2,000 a
year on meals at Nando’s as he was denied his black card request. Bradley says
he’s considering having the tattoo removed and replaced with a KFC tattoo,
saying, “Let’s be honest, it’s much better.’
Bringing new meaning to the term ‘butt dialing’ was Caddo Parish, Louisiana jail
inmate Anthony Alvey. The 22-year-old Anthony was recently transferred to the
jail, where a body scan showed a small object that deputies couldn't find despite a
second scan and a search. Anthony eventually told deputies that he had hidden a
phone in his rectum. The offending contraband was removed at a local hospital and
Anthony is now facing additional charges.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
May 13th, 2014
HISTORY LESSON…
1607: Jamestown, the first permanent English colony in North America, was
founded in Virginia.
1955: A riot broke out for the first time at an Elvis Presley concert
1967: Mickey Mantle hit his 500th home run
1968: Peace talks between the U.S. and North Vietnam began in Paris.
1970: A New York Times survey found that much of the underground rock radio
audience used it for background music to "get stoned by."
1976: The New York Nets beat the Denver Nuggets to win the final ABA
championship
1981: Pope John Paul II was shot and wounded in St. Peter's Square
1982: The Chicago Cubs became the first major-league baseball team to win 8,000
games
1984: The Fantasticks became the longest-running musical in history with its
10,000th performance
1985: Tony Perez became the oldest major league baseball player to hit a grand
slam at the age of 42 years and 11 months.
Birthday Partiers:
actor Harvey Keitel (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, National Treasure) 75
musician Stevie Wonder 64
musician Peter Gabriel 64
basketball's Dennis Rodman 53
musician Darius Rucker 51
TV host Stephen Colbert 50
actor Robert Pattinson (Twilight, Remember Me, Water For Elephants) 28
actress Lena Dunham (Girls' Hannah Horvath) 28