Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
THE BITS…
The ex-girlfriend of Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling supposedly has
more incriminating audio recordings of him. Hopefully those recordings don’t
contain anything that might tarnish his reputation.
Donald Trump weighed in on Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling’s
controversial remarks and blamed his girlfriend for leaking the tape. That’s kind of
like blaming New Orleans for getting in the way of Hurricane Katrina.
Donald Trump weighed in on Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling’s
controversial remarks and blamed his girlfriend for leaking the tape. It sounds like
someone has been inhaling too much hairspray.
The Village People have banned the L.A. Clippers from playing Y.M.C.A. due to
comments by team owner Donald Sterling. If the Village People really wanted to
punish Sterling they should make him watch their movie Can’t Stop the Music.
Craig Ferguson has announced that he’s leaving The Late, Late Show at the end of
the year. In fact, environmentalists now say they’re concerned about our rapidly
depleting talk show host resources.
Craig Ferguson has announced that he’s leaving The Late, Late Show at the end of
the year. Oddly enough, he’s also being replaced by Stephen Colbert.
Paula Deen is going on tour starting in June. However, in light of recent remarks,
she is being asked to stay away from tonight’s Los Angeles Clippers game.
Paula Deen is going on tour starting in June. Of course, the last time Paula went on
the road she was busted by the police after they stopped her tour bus and found a
kilo of butter.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
SON OF THE BITS…
Tori Spelling was reportedly hospitalized with severe migraines and an ulcer.
Doctors say it was caused by watching her reality show.
Bill O’Reilly says that Beyonce is encouraging black girls to get pregnant.
Meanwhile, Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling says that’s fine as long
as the kids don’t come to his basketball games.
It was on this date in 2004 the last Oldsmobile rolled off the assembly line. It was
also the last time GM made a car that wasn’t recalled.
An initiative has been filed seeking to legalize recreational marijuana use in
Nevada. Like Nevada would ever legalize any illegal activities.
An initiative has been filed seeking to legalize recreational marijuana use in
Nevada. However, the casinos are worried that a bunch of people with the
munchies could wipe them out at the buffet tables.
A Connecticut high school wants a senior to break her prom date with a man
because they feel he’s too old to attend. It’s too bad because the other students
were really looking forward to meeting Hugh Hefner.
A strip club in Canada have begun holding church services on the stage next to the
stripper pole. The church reports that all their donations are in one dollar bills.
A strip club in Canada is holding church services on the stage next to the stripper
pole. If you attend church services at the strip club, keep in mind the organist may
not be someone playing music.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
TODAY’S BITMAN AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed we have reality fun with Dancing with
the Stars and The Voice, plus a late night roundup with Dave, Conan,
Craig, the Jimmys and Seth.
Plus more from Pamela Furr and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at
BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at
BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne
Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or
amunos@unitedstations.com
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
PAUL SIMON and wife EDIE BRICKELL were arrested over the weekend in
what police called a "family dispute" at their home on Saturday night. Officers
went to the home after someone there dialed 911 and hung up and arrived to find
one of them with minor injuries. They appeared in court yesterday and Simon told
the judge he had a rare argument with his wife. No protective order was issued and
while the couple held hands in court, they left via separate exits. Outside the court
Simon said they still loved each other and everything would be fine. (See here)
The fallout continues from the racist rant of Los Angeles Clippers owner
DONALD STERLING and there could be more on the way! TMZ says Sterling
contacted his ex-girlfriend V. Stiviano Sunday and asked, "How can we make this
go away?" Apparently she has more than 100 hours of recordings, some of which
could be even more damaging. Apparently the tape leaked because Sterling
publicly endorsed his wife lawsuit against Stiviano, claiming she stole $1.8 million
from Donald. However, that was apparently cash and gifts he gave her as her sugar
daddy. Meanwhile, Clippers coach Doc Rivers refused to accept a call from
Sterling and his own son-in-law, Eric Miller, who’s the Clippers Director of
Basketball Administration, called Sterling’s statements deplorable and disgusting
adding, “There is no room in sports or society in general, for racism," and that "If
these comments should happen to cost me my employment with the team, it is but
a small price to pay to speak out against ignorance and racism." Sterling's
daughter, Joanna Sterling Miller, who is married to Eric says, "I am devastated and
saddened by the cruel and insensitive comments expressed in these audio tapes."
Never one to waste an opportunity to stick his foot in his mouth, DONALD
TRUMP weighed in on the controversy surrounding racist remarks made by Los
Angeles Clippers owner DONALD STERLING. Trump went on "Fox & Friends"
yesterday and appeared to defend Sterling, saying his girlfriend was the problem.
Trump referred to her as the "girlfriend from hell" adding, "It's terrible, he got set
up by a very bad girlfriend. She was baiting him and she's a terrible human being."
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
For ladies hoping the GEORGE CLOONEY engagement story was another one of
his practical jokes, there’s bad news. Amal Alamuddin's law firm issued a
congratulatory statement saying, "The barristers and staff of Doughty Street
Chambers offer their best wishes and congratulations to Ms. Amal Alamuddin
…and Mr. George Clooney on their engagement to be married." George's dad,
Nick Clooney, also confirmed the engagement by saying, "My wife and I are
absolutely thrilled...we are excited for both of them. Amal is a very lovely girl."
There could be a new couple alert as SELENA GOMEZ and ORLANDO BLOOM
were caught hanging together after Chelsea Handler's Uganda Be Kidding Me live
show at The Forum in Los Angeles on Saturday night. They seemed to be stunned
when a photographer snapped their photo and they scampered off in opposite
directions. Although it could be a case of revenge dating as Justin Bieber and
Bloom's ex-wife, Miranda Kerr, got very close, and maybe more, during and after
taping the 2012 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Bloom and Selena also posted a
photo on Instagram last month showing him with his arm around her.
KYLIE AND KENDALL JENNER seem to be glad that SELENA GOMEZ
stopped following them on social media. The story went that Selena un-followed
everyone because they were bad influences and she wanted to straighten out her
life. However, the Jenner girls say Selena is the problem with her drugs, booze
and drama. Word is that Selena had a paranoid meltdown at Coachella over Justin
Bieber, accusing him of hitting on other girls and they all had a falling out.
JUSTIN BIEBER has released a new song that’s speculated to be about SELENA
GOMEZ. It’s called "Hard 2 Face Reality" and lyrics include: "Sometimes it's
hard to face reality/ Even though you might get mad at me." Bieber also shared an
Instagram photo from New York’s Central Park, writing, "Was gonna wait to go to
Central Park for when I proposed to my future wife but s--t sometimes things
change. I'll think of something more romantic."
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 3…
In case you were wondering, Radar Online is saying that it was severe migraines
and an ulcer that sent TORI SPELLING to the hospital last week. A supposed
family insider said she was in a great deal of pain and was very scared. Although,
she wasn’t in too much pain or too scared to make sure her reality show camera
crew was at the hospital to document everything.
A Broadway producer is suing VALERIE HARPER for $2 million, claiming she
didn't tell him she had cancer until after she signed on to star in his play. Matthew
Lombardo claims in his suit that Harper and husband Tony Cacciotti "were both
aware" she’d been diagnosed with lung cancer in 2009, but didn't disclose it when
she signed on in 2012 to his show. The cancer spread to her brain last year, causing
her to slur her speech and forget her lines, forcing her to leave the national tour of
Lombardo's production of Looped. Lombardo's suit is actually a counterclaim to a
suit filed by Harper, demanding she be paid for the remainder of her contract
because she dropped out for health reasons.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
New Movies on DVD:
Devil's Due - Newlyweds Zach Gilford and Allison Miller are expecting an evil
baby in this Rosemary's Baby rip-off.
Labor Day - Kate Winslet and her son invite convict Josh Brolin back to their
house.
The Legend of Hercules - Kellan Lutz stars as the mythical Greek hero.
New TV on DVD:
The Amazing Race: The Thirteenth Season
The Class: The Complete Series
Dynasty: The Eighth Season
Hill Street Blues: The Complete Series
Mr. Selfridge: The Complete Second Season
Star Trek Enterprise: The Complete Series
Survivor 16: Fans vs. Favorites Micronesia
The Virginian: The Complete Eighth & Final Season
Wagon Train: The Complete Fourth Season
The late-night talk show drama continues as CRAIG FERGUSON has announced
that he’s leaving The Late, Late Show at the end of the year. Ferguson said, "CBS
and I are not getting divorced, we are 'consciously uncoupling,' but we will still
spend holidays together and share custody of the fake horse and robot skeleton,
both of whom we love very much." Ferguson had been contractually promised to
replace David Letterman when he retired and being passed over for Stephen
Colbert undoubtedly factored into his decision to leave CBS.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD 2…
Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis finally made it to DANCING WITH THE STARS
last night, albeit sitting in the audience. On the dance floor, Danica McKellar
soldiered on with her broken rib and Amy Purdy hurt her back during her rumba
and was rushed to the hospital, forcing her to miss the team dance. In the end it
was Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes being sent home.
Fox will do a three-hour live production of the musical GREASE next year. No
casting has been announced as of yet.
SARAH SILVERMAN has joined the cast of Showtime’s MASTERS OF SEX.
She’ll play a recurring character named Helen and she apparently slept her way
into the role as she’s the real-life girlfriend of the show’s star, Michael Sheen.
MATT DAMON has reportedly signed on to star as Aquaman in the big screen
version of the DC comic book “Justice League.” It would re-team Damon with
buddy Ben Affleck, who will also be in “Justice League” as Batman.
PAULA DEEN will kick off her summer tour on June 21st in Pigeon Forge,
Tennessee with more shows to follow. The shows will include storytelling,
cooking demonstrations and audience participation.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES…
New Music in Stores Today…
Damon Albarn - “Everyday Robots”
Focus - “Golden Oldies” (re-recordings of classic Focus tracks)
Ray LaMontagne - “Supernova”
Old 97's - “Most Messed Up”
Pixies - “Indie Cindy” (their first full-length studio album since 1991)
Prefab Sprout - “Crimson/Red”
Saliva - “Rise Up”
Curtis Stigers - “Hooray For Love”
The String Cheese Incident - “Song In My Head”
Toto - “35th Anniversary Tour: Live in Poland” (two-CDs, recorded on June 25,
2013)
Reissues (CDs / vinyl)
Boy Meets Girl - “Reel Life: Expanded Edition” (1988 album; remastered, with
three bonus tracks)
Taylor Dayne - “Can’t Fight Fate: Deluxe Edition” (1989 album; remastered, with
three bonus tracks and a second CD of bonus material)
Ohio Express - “Beg, Borrow and Steal: The Complete Cameo Recordings”
Vanilla Fudge - “The Complete Atco Singles”
DVD / Blu-ray
The Allman Brothers Band - “The Allman Brothers Band 40: March 26, 2009, 40th
Anniversary Show, Beacon Theatre [DVD]“
The Clash - “The Rise and Fall of The Clash [DVD]“ (2012 documentary)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES 2…
COLDPLAY will hide CHRIS MARTIN'S handwritten lyrics to songs from their
upcoming album Ghost Stories in libraries in nine different countries around the
world. The lyric sheets will be hidden inside ghost story books and you can get
clues to their locations through the band's Twitter account using the hashtag
lyricshunt. One hidden envelope contains a 'Golden Ticket' to London to see
Coldplay perform at the Royal Albert Hall on July 1st.
BILLY JOEL revealed in an interview that he nearly formed a super group with
Sting, Don Henley and another unnamed guitarist. Joel said he likes being in a
group and that someday they might actually put what he called the ‘silly super
group’ together.
MILEY CYRUS has rescheduled those tour dates she postponed while in the
hospital. The U.S. leg of the Bangerz tour will resume on August 1st at the Nassau
Coliseum in Uniondale, New York. In addition to all canceled dates being
rescheduled, Miley has added dates in Pittsburgh and Chicago.
VICTORIA BECKHAM finally gave in to a SPICE GIRLS reunion. Actually,
Victoria held a belated 40th birthday party in London on Sunday night and partied
with her fellow former Spice Girls.
Maybe MARIAH CAREY won’t be pulling a Beyonce-style surprise with her next
album after all. After Mariah suggested such a release, Def Jam is now saying it’ll
be a traditional release in late May.
As had been rumored, BEYONCE and JAY Z have announced plans for a coheadlining summer tour. The 16-date ‘On the Run’ stadium tour will kick off in
Miami on June 25th and wrap in San Francisco on August 5th.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
MUSIC NOTES 2…
The Webby Awards were announced yesterday and PHARRELL WILLIAMS won
the Webby and People's Voice Award in the best use of interactive video category
for his 24-hour "Happy" music video. JAY Z and BEYONCE were also winners.
Jay Z won best music app for his "Magna Carter Holy Grail" and Beyonce won the
People's Voice Award in the celebrity fan category for Beyonce.com.
VILLAGE PEOPLE frontman Victor Willis has banned the Los Angeles Clippers
from using their song "Y.M.C.A." due to owner Donald Sterling’s recent
controversy.
R&B singer TANK has bailed on performing the national anthem at tonight's
Clippers game in Los Angeles in response to racist statements made by the team's
owner, Donald Sterling.
BRAD PAISLEY is still feuding with his record label, Sony Music. Brad is again
suing them, claiming they stole more than $10 million from him. Paisley believes
Sony has “failed to live up to their agreements and other legal obligations” and
says they won’t give him access to sales figures.
KACEY MUSGRAVES will be the first country artist to perform at GLAAD’s
annual media awards show in the gay and lesbian group’s 25-year history. The
group says that her song "Follow Your Arrow" broke barriers in the country music
industry and its theme of acceptance is the right kind of message for right now.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
TUBULAR…
Daytime:
GMA: TBA
CBS This Morning: Oprah Winfrey
Today: Author Diane Keaton
Kelly & Michael: Emma Stone (``The Amazing Spider-Man 2''); Keith Urban
The View: Guest co-host John Leguizamo; author Diane Keaton; reality-TV’s
Porsha Williams
The Talk: Actress Helen Hunt
Queen Latifah: Mark Harmon (``NCIS'')
Ellen: Newscaster Robin Roberts; Carla Bruni performs
Primetime:
Fox: On Glee, Rachel auditions for a TV pilot and Shirley MacLaine guest stars
NBC: The Voice elimination night with two more contestants getting the boot
TNT: NBA hoops Wizards at Bulls and Warriors at Clippers
NBC Sports: NHL hockey Rangers at Flyers
Late Night:
Jimmy Kimmel: Eric Stonestreet and Jesse Tyler Ferguson; TV host Robin Roberts
David Letterman: Lucy Liu; stupid pet tricks; Ziggy Marley performs
Jimmy Fallon: Diane Keaton; David Byrne performs
Craig Ferguson: Valerie Bertinelli
Seth Meyers: Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie; educator Bill Nye
Conan: Kunal Nayyar; Hurray for the Riff Raff performs
Arsenio: Comic Jimmie Walker
Bitman
Bitman
By David
Evjen
By
David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 29th, 2009
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
THE WATERCOOLER…
The Department of Homeland security is advising people not to use their Internet
Explorer Web browsers. A serious security flaw came to light over the weekend
that allows hackers to get around security protections in the Windows operating
system if you visit a compromised website. Another solution is to turn off Adobe
Flash because the attack won’t work without it. While the bug affects all versions
of Internet Explorer 6 through 10, it’s currently targeting IE9 and IE10 and the
attacks don’t appear to be widespread at this time. Microsoft is working to fix the
problem, but if you’re still running Windows XP, you’re out of luck as Microsoft
discontinued support of the system earlier this month. However, Symantec is
offering XP users tools to protect themselves on its blog.
Republican Congressman Vance McAllister of Louisiana, who was backed by
Duck Dynasty’s Willie Robertson, but later caught kissing one of his aides, has
announced that he won’t seek re-election in November. McAllister was elected just
five months ago in a special election after running on a campaign of Christian
values and had told a local newspaper that he wanted to stand for re-election in
November "unless there is an outcry for me not to serve."
Don’t you hate it when you find that perfect pair of shoes and they don’t have them
in your size? Beverly Hills podiatrist Dr. Ali Sadrieh has the solution. Just change
the size of your feet! Yes, Dr. Ali says many women do just that. Since he started
his practice 13 years ago, patients have brought in shoes they dream of wearing
and he re-sizes their feet to fit. Inspired by the glass slipper story, he calls it the
Cinderella procedure and it can include toe-shortening, toe-lengthening, or a Foot
Tuck, which is a fat-pad augmentation that helps with high heels. Dr. Ali says, “On
the surface, it looked shallow. But I came to see she needs these shoes to project
confidence, they are part of her outside skin. That’s the real world.” However,
there are some requests that even Dr. Ali won’t fulfill, such as a patient that asked
for toe liposuction and another to have a pinkie toe removed to fit into her shoes.
Bitman
Bitman
By David
Evjen
By
David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Bitman1@aol.com
Friday,
May 29th, 2009
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
THE WATERCOOLER 2…
Los Angeles talent manager Triana Lavey was so concerned about taking perfect
selfies that she’s spent $15,000 on plastic surgery. Since 2012, she’s undergone a
nose job, a chin implant, Botox and fat grafting. Triana told ABC’s Nightline, "I
now have the face that I always thought that I had. I look like myself, but
Photoshopped." She added, "Your selfie is your head shot so you can reinvent
yourself every day with your iPhone. It's a legitimate form of promoting yourself."
Triana also says, "Not everyone is born beautiful, and if you can get a little help
from an app or a nip-tuck then more power to you."
Santa Clara, California’s Hosam Haggog and Fatima Rahman recently painted
their Victorian house and the neighbors are not amused. It seems they painted their
house to look just like the home from the animated movie Up. Neighbor Lou Faria
told a local TV news crew, "It really, in my opinion, is atrocious that this Victorian
is a gracious old lady and it's being painted up to look like a clown." It turns out
Hosam and Fatima painted the house for their daughters, who love the movie Up
and they say that all the kids in the neighborhood really love the colors. Chuck
Petersen is another neighbor and he was philosophical about it saying, "On the
other hand, it's his home and I feel that sometime down the line it's going to be
repainted again anyway."
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
SPORTS SHIRT…
The NBA is planning a news conference today to discuss the situation involving
the racist comments allegedly made by Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald
Sterling. While it doesn’t seem likely Sterling will be kicked out of the league as
many want, the NBA will have to issue some sort of severe punishment to save
face. In any case, it’s an early test for new commissioner Adam Silver.
The fallout continues over those racist remarks attributed to Los Angeles Clippers
owner Donald Sterling. Companies began pulling or suspending their sponsorship
of the team yesterday. By the end of the day it became easier to name the sponsors
that hadn’t pulled their support. Corona beer was the last man standing and even
they were evaluating things at the end of the day.
Hall of Fame coach Jack Ramsay, who led the Portland Trail Blazers to the 1977
NBA championship before moving to the broadcast booth, has died following a
long battle with cancer. Ramsay was 89.
The Washington Nationals say Bryce Harper will undergo surgery today to repair a
torn ligament in his left thumb and is expected to be out until at least early July.
Harper was injured with a head-first slide into third base Friday night in San Diego
The Seattle Seahawks have reportedly agreed to a long-term contract extension
with safety Earl Thomas that will make him the highest-paid player at his position.
Word is the deal will add four years, $40 million and $27.725 million guaranteed
to Thomas’ current deal.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
Scoreboard
MLB:
Oakland 4 Texas 0 Final
Chi. White Sox 7 Tampa Bay 3 Final
L.A. Angels 6 Cleveland 3 Final
Chi. Cubs at Cincinnati Postponed
Milwaukee 5 St. Louis 3 Final 12
Colorado 8 Arizona 5 Final
San Diego 6 San Francisco 4 Final
NBA:
Miami 109 Charlotte 98 Final
Heat win series 4-0
Atlanta 107 Indiana 97 Final
Hawks lead series 3-2
San Antonio 93 Dallas 89 Final
Series tied 2-2
NHL:
Pittsburgh 4 Columbus 3 Final
Penguins win series 4-2
Minnesota 5 Colorado 2 Final
Series tied 3-3
Los Angeles 4 San Jose 1 Final
Series tied 3-3
Today’s Games
MLB:
Seattle at N.Y. Yankees (7:05 PM)
Tampa Bay at Boston (7:10 PM)
Oakland at Texas (8:05 PM)
Detroit at Chi. White Sox (8:10 PM
Toronto at Kansas City (8:10 PM)
Cleveland at L.A. Angels (10:05 PM)
N.Y. Mets at Philadelphia (7:05 PM)
Atlanta at Miami (7:10 PM)
Chi. Cubs at Cincinnati (7:10 PM)
Milwaukee at St. Louis (8:15 PM)
Colorado at Arizona (9:40 PM)
San Diego at San Francisco (10:15 PM)
Pittsburgh at Baltimore (7:05 PM)
L.A. Dodgers at Minnesota (8:10 PM)
Washington at Houston (8:10 PM)
NBA:
Washington at Chicago (8:00 PM)
Memphis at Oklahoma City (9:00 PM)
Golden State at L.A. Clippers (10:30 PM)
NHL:
N.Y. Rangers at Philadelphia (7:30 PM)
Dallas at Anaheim (10:00 PM)
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
DUH…
Fayetteville, North Carolina teenager Tyt'ana Lisa-Nicole Johnson has been
collared over some collard greens. While Tyt’ana’s grandma, Gaylon Moody was
attending Easter Sunday services, she spiked her pot of greens with insecticide.
After digging into the dish, grandma and her friend, Clifton Evans, had to be taken
to the hospital. Grandma later told the local newspaper, “She got mad because I
took her cell phone from her, and she poisoned my food. I'll tell you one thing: It
ain't good to feel." Tyt’ana later apologized to Evans for making him ill, although
she and her grandmother haven’t spoken since the incident. However, Tyt’ana has
likely spoken to a lawyer as she faces two counts of attempted first-degree murder.
Jacksonville, Florida’s Marcus Crossland has been eliminated from Father of the
Year contention. Marcus recently took his 6-year-old son to Kona Skate Park’s
skateboard ramp. However, after seeing the steep drop, the kid apparently changed
his mind. Marcus encouraged his kid to take the plunge by kicking him off the side
of the ramp. In a since-removed online video, the kid is seen plummeting down the
steep decline. However, the video wasn’t removed quickly enough to escape
detection by the Department of Children and Families, who are now investigating.
There are currently 68,110 British children in foster care. However, two of those
children in Buckinghamshire have been handed over to new foster parents after
social workers discovered 'marks' on their wrists. The children were placed in new
homes despite the social workers discovering the marks were due to the foster
parents holding the children's hands too tightly while crossing the road.
Apparently fed up with life in America, Matthew Todd Miller decided to travel to
another country and seek asylum. For reasons known only to Miller, he thought he
would find a better life for himself in North Korea. After entering the country on a
tourist visa, Miller promptly tore it up and shouted that "he would seek asylum"
and that he "came to (North Korea) after choosing it as a shelter." Todd was
promptly given shelter in an undisclosed North Korean jail.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
MO’ DUH…
London’s Ben Jaconelli recently had his $4,200 electric bicycle stolen. As fate
would have it, Ben is the owner of FullyCharged.com and an authorized dealer for
the bikes. Soon after the theft, Ben got a call asking for a charger for one such
bicycle. His suspicions aroused, Ben got the guy’s details and showed up at his
house and met his mother. After Mom called her son and asked why he needed an
electric bike charger, he called Ben to ask why he was at his house. After Ben
accused him of stealing his bike, the guy hung up, but 20 minutes later the stolen
electric bicycle arrived at his warehouse in a taxi.
A Texas student recently celebrated his 15th birthday and got a special gift from
his 42-year-old middle school teacher, Felicia Smith. Ms. Smith put on some music
in the classroom and instructed the birthday boy to sit in a chair next to her desk as
she proceeded to perform a lap dance on him. The kid told investigators that Ms.
Smith moved back and forth on his private area and touched him all over his body
before dropping to her knees and putting her head between his legs. The student
admitted, or perhaps bragged, that he spanked Smith's buttocks a couple of times
and that she said, "I love you, baby. Happy Birthday." Hopefully that lap dancing
thing works out for Smith as she no longer has a teaching job.
Back in 2012, Ontario, Canada’s Sharlene Simon struck and killed 17-year-old
Brandon Majewskidied as he and two friends rode their bicycles early one
morning. Sharlene wasn't charged over the incident, but her legal battle isn’t over.
Calling the boys ‘incompetent bicyclists’ that didn’t apply their brakes properly,
Sharlene is suing the late Brandon, his family and his two friends, claiming the
accident has caused her depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress.
Bitman
By David Evjen
Bitman1@aol.com
Tuesday,
April 29th, 2014
HISTORY LESSON…
1913: Gideon Sundback, of Hoboken, New Jersey, patented the zipper
1960: Dick Clark testified before congress that he never took payola for records
featured on his TV show
1961: Wide World of Sports debuted on ABC
1967: Muhammad Ali was stripped of his world heavyweight boxing
championship when he refused to be inducted into the military
1981: Steve Carlton became the first left-handed pitcher in the major leagues to get
3,000 career strikeouts.
1985: George Steinbrenner fired Yankees manager Yogi Berra, bringing back Billy
Martin for the fourth time
1986: Roger Clemens set a major-league baseball record by striking out 20 Seattle
Mariners
1988: The Baltimore Orioles set a new major league baseball record by losing their
first 21 games of the season.
1992: Riots broke out in L.A. after police officers were acquitted of most charges
in the Rodney King beating.
2004: The last Oldsmobile rolled off the assembly line in Lansing, Michigan
2011: Britain's Prince William and Kate Middleton were married at Westminster
Abbey
Birthday Partiers:
singer Tommy James 67
comedian Jerry Seinfeld 60
actress Michelle Pfeiffer (White Oleander, I Am Sam, What Lies Beneath) 57
actor Daniel Day-Lewis (Gangs of New York, There Will Be Blood, My Left Foot)
57
actress Eve Plumb (The Brady Bunch) 56
tennis player Andre Agassi 44
actress Uma Thurman (Kill Bill, The Producers, Be Cool) 44