Communication
Obstacles to effective
communication
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Anxiety
Lack of suitable language
Ethnic group differences
Reasons for difficulty
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Lack of role models
Lack of comfortable language
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Clinical VS slang
Men & women have different communication
styles
How to get started
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Talk about talking
Reading and discussing
Mutual empathy & understanding
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Each partner cares for the other
Sharing sexual histories
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Be careful
Communication techniques
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Active listening
Paraphrasing
Giving permission
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Reassure partner, encourage talk
Unconditional positive regard
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“No matter what happened, I still love you”
Types of questions
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Open ended questions
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Closed ended questions
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How are you feeling?
E.g. “Yes” or “no”
Be very specific when asking for what you
want
“I” statements vs “you”
statements
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“I” statements
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Express feelings without blaming the other person
“You” statements
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Tend to be interpreted as attacks on the other
Validating
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Indicating how reasonable the other person’s
position may be.
Criticism
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Delivering criticism
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Combine praise with criticism
Express anger appropriately
Nurture small steps toward change
Receiving criticism
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Focus on the future changes both can make
Provides closure