Throughout the Holidays
My Personal Self-Care Plan
1. One thing I would like to have happen this holiday season that probably will not is:
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2. One thing I feel today as the holidays are approaching is:
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3. One friend or group I could get together with is:
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4. One “tradition” I many need to give up is: ______________________________
5. One positive family member I will spend time with is:
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6. One activity I can abandon is: ________________________________________
7. One thing I will do for myself is:
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8. One activity I will do to better deal with loneliness or loss is
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9. One way I will exercise is to ___________________________ for _____ minutes each day.
10. I will remind myself of the importance of ________________________ this year.
5 Tips for Debt-Free Holiday$
"Christmas comes but once a year," says Gerri Detweiler, co-author of Invest in Yourself. "It's the happiest time
of the year for retailers, because Americans shell out some $160 billion a year on fa-la-la alone. For many of us
the holiday spirit gets lost on the frantic search for gifts and by the need to use high-interest credit cards to pay
for them." And when January rolls around, hordes of folks, single or not, are appalled by their credit-card bills.
They can be a real eye-opener, a depressing one at that. Setting a holiday budget and sticking to it can save
you hundreds of dollars in finance charges and last-minute impulse buys.
1: Budget Before Buying Boundaries
Be realistic about how much you can afford to spend. Base your budget on available money, not your line of
credit. Once you determine the amount of money you can afford to spend on gifts, put this money in an
envelope and label it “Holiday Cash.” Let the envelope do the shopping, not your wallet. And once you are out
of money, it’s time to go home!
2: Gift-Giving Limits
What gift-giving limits should be set? This is up to each individual and family. Some families and friends decide
to do a gift exchange by drawing a name from a hat and buying a gift for that chosen recipient. It is usually best
to have a cap on the amount that can be spent so everyone feels comfortable. Other options are to: agree not
to exchange gifts at all and give gifts to children instead or give to those in need instead of each other. By
giving to others in need, everyone can pitch in to put together a gift basket for a family less fortunate. This can
be a wonderful tradition that teaches the youngest to appreciate what they have and share their abundance.
3. Start Saving Early
Avoid a last-minute cash crunch by setting aside at least $20 a week now for your holiday fund. Keep it in your
dresser drawer if need be, but don't spend it. It might mean skimping on movies, a new lipstick, eating out,
alcohol or dry cleaning, but it's those simple things that can provide that cushion so you can enjoy the holidays
and not be strapped for cash or deep in dept as we roll into the New Year. Consider it a present for yourself.
4. Give Your Time
If you're still strapped for cash, why not give the gift of time? Offer to baby-sit for a friend's or relative's kids. If
you have a green thumb, give a few hours of time to help plant some bulbs or weed a troublesome flowerbed.
Or if you live in a winter wonderland, shovel some snow!
5. Cheap but Good Solutions
You can shop for recycled goods at yard sales and consignment shops. Kids don't mind
cleaned-up toys, and most adults love antiques. Also consider “priceless gifts” like giving coupons to be
redeemed for personal services like: babysitting, grocery shopping or errand running. You can also start a
family tradition by setting up a holiday time capsule every year. Include photos, poems, written accounts of the
holiday, news articles and other memorabilia. Let everyone contribute and then seal the box until the next year.
Opening the box the next holiday can be one of the special highlights of the season.
**Remember, It's your responsibility to take charge of the holidays not let them take charge of you. Planning
ahead is critical. As Agatha Christie once wrote, "Those who never think about money need a great deal of it."
Beat Holiday Stress
What to Do When You Need Ho-Ho-Help
By Vicki Haddock
WebMD Medical News
The holidays really are the best of times and the worst of times. Our tidings of comfort and joy can so
easily be devoured by the insatiable stress to do it all, be it all, and buy it all.
And that stress is nothing to ho, ho, ho about, either. It increases your risk of illness and even death.
One study, published in the Oct. 12, 1999, issue of the journal Circulation, suggested holiday stress
and overindulgence help explain the soaring rate of fatal heart attacks in December and January.
Yet it is possible to survive the holiday frenzy without feeling frantic -- if you know how. Here are top
tips from some of the nation's leading stress experts:
Stress Master: Psychologist Alice Domar, director of the Mind/Body Center for Women's Health at
Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center and Harvard Medical School, and author of the book "SelfNurture."
Strategy: Cut yourself some slack!
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Tip 1. Shop so you don't drop. Domar's ritual is to take a personal day off work in the middle
of the first week of December. "I hit the mall as soon as the doors open, carrying nothing but
an empty backpack and my credit cards,'' she says. "The crowds haven't yet descended, the
salespeople are still helpful, and there's plenty of stuff on the shelves. When I've bought too
much to carry, I go back to the car, drop it off, and go back in again. It's amazing how much I
can accomplish.'' If she finds something she really likes -- say a hurricane lamp at Crate and
Barrel -- she'll buy an assortment in different colors and give one to each of several people on
her list. "My sister-in-law, my friend, and my co-worker never talk to each other,'' she says.
"They'll never know.'' And of course, catalogs and Internet retailers make it possible to shop
without leaving the comforts of home.
Tip 2. Treat yourself. All that hustling and bustling can drain you. Domar suggests that for
every 10 presents you buy for others, you select a little indulgence for yourself. "I might go
with a little Godiva truffle or a Dave Barry calendar -- nothing expensive, just a little pick-meup.'' She also recommends regular exercise and making time for a movie date with your
partner, a soak in a hot tub, or a solitary evening of soothing music.
Tip 3. Skip the Nutcracker. Or if that is simply too much heresy, go ahead and take in the
ballet but forgo the big menorah lighting, or the Santa parade, or the holiday ice show. The
point is, don't drag yourself or your family from event to event. Think quality, not quantity.
Domar recommends allowing each child to pick two events as must-dos. "The Nutcracker will
be around next year, I promise,'' she says.
Tip 4. Stretch the season. If December is a hotbed of socializing, the weeks that follow tend
to be a wasteland. That's why Domar proposes people schedule their holiday bashes for midJanuary (her own office party is set for Jan. 14.) By then, guests actually welcome the idea of a
party, and you'll have the luxury of time to put it together. And just because the last Scotch
pine needle has been vacuumed out of the carpet doesn't mean you can't incorporate a holiday
theme. Domar suggests asking guests to bring a fruitcake and wear the tackiest present they
received.
Stress Master: Nutritional biochemist Judith Wurtman, a researcher at the Massachusetts Institute of
Technology, and author of the book Managing Your Mind & Mood Through Food.
Strategy: Eat to stave off tension as well as hunger.
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Tip 1. Carbo-charge your body. It's 4 p.m. on Dec. 23, and you're stuck in an interminable
line at the post office. It's time for a snack, but not just any snack. Wurtman says the secret is
choosing carbohydrates with low or no fat -- maybe a handful of pretzels or, if you crave
something sweet, a few Tootsie Rolls or jellybeans. "At least 30 grams' worth -- look at
package labels to get amounts,'' Wurtman advises. Her research over several years shows such
carbohydrates boost the powerful brain chemical serotonin, which helps the body feel calmer.
Curiously, one snack to avoid at such times is fruit: fructose is the only carbohydrate that
appears not to stimulate serotonin.
Tip 2. Eat mini-meals. When you eat stress-reducing foods, the effects last only about two to
three hours. If you're up against chronic holiday stress, try eating several small meals or snacks
throughout the day instead of a couple of big ones. Just be careful to keep your total intake of
calories about the same.
Tip 3. Zero in on stress points and fix them. The holidays often generate a vicious cycle:
Stress causes people to eat more and richer foods, which causes them to gain weight, which
makes them feel even more stressed. "It's better to prevent or deflect the stress than deal with
it,'' says Wurtman. For example, say you're a working mom who comes home at 6 p.m. to
begin your second job, and you eat because you feel overwhelmed. Instead, plan ahead. Give
your family written instructions on what to do to help you, and give yourself 10 guilt-free
minutes of time-out to relax.
Stress Master: Robert Sapolsky, professor of biological sciences and neurology at Stanford
University and author of Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: An Updated Guide to Stress, Stress-Related
Disease and Coping.
Strategy: Put whatever's stressing you in perspective. Chances are your stress level isn't high because
you're running for your life from an attacking lion. So just imagine explaining your angst over failing
to create a Martha Stewart table to a really empathetic giraffe. If your holiday woes would sound like
utter nonsense to the giraffe, you're describing stressors of your own making and you can conquer
them.
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Tip 1. Ratchet down stress by lowering expectations. Remember, those Norman Rockwell
families are strictly two-dimensional -- don't expect them to bear much resemblance to your
own family gatherings. "For people living at the other end of the country, this is often one of
the few or only times of the year to see some people of great significance,'' Sapolsky observes.
The result: "this stressful pressure to cram all this emotion and bonding and intimacy into a
very hectic few days.'' Expect some irritations and imperfections, then relax and have a good
time in spite of them.
Tip 2. Don't go it alone. While the notion of holiday stress conjures up visions of jam-packed
mall parking lots and tense dinners with the in-laws, many people suffer stress because they
face the holidays by themselves. Sapolsky advises getting proactive by connecting with family,
friends, even others who face similar isolation.
Tip 3. Remember the reason for the season. Some people find the holiday season stressful
because it seems robbed of its authentic meaning. Instead they are awash in a culture
conspiring to crassly cash in on something that once had great personal significance. The
antidote, says Sapolsky: "Take the time and effort to reaffirm what this season really means to
you, whether it is about family, community, religion. Go help someone in need, to help
yourself reaffirm what it is all about.''
Stress Master: Eric Brown, spokesman for the Center for a New American Dream, a Maryland-based,
nonprofit organization urging Americans to shift their consumption to improve quality of life and the
environment.
Strategy: Learn how to have more fun with less stuff! (A 1998 poll commissioned by the center and
conducted by EDK Associates of New York found that 44% of Americans feel pressure to spend more
than they can afford at holiday time, and only 28% report the holidays leave them feeling "joyful.")
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Tip 1. Give the gifts money can't buy. By getting creative, you can avoid the stresses of
traffic, crowded department stores -- and that lingering dissatisfaction that you spend a small
fortune on generic gifts. Four out of five people say they would prefer a photo album filled
with childhood memories to a store-bought gift. "My 65-year-old mother has all the stuff she
needs, so I gave a donation in her honor to the county food bank,'' says Brown. "People
increasingly are finding new ways to think outside the box -- to give gifts that show the
relationship between the giver and the recipient.'' Other ideas: adopt a koala bear in a child's
name at the local zoo. Create an audio or video of a family elder reminiscing for their children
and grandchildren. Illustrate and write a homemade story featuring your child as the main
character. Make coupons redeemable for backrubs or homemade brownies. Or write to
celebrities, asking for an autograph dedicated to the recipient.
Tip 2. Lick overspending. It takes an average of four months for a credit card user to pay off
stress-inducing holiday bills, according to a 1999 report by the American Bankers Association.
Instead try this: Decide how much you can afford to spend for each person on your list, then
put that amount in cash in an envelope with that person's name on it. When the envelope is
empty, you're done - no exceptions. Or freeze your credit cards in a jug of water, or mail them
to a friend until the holidays are history. "The more you can inject a sense of humor and make
it a game, the easier it'll be to live within your means,'' Brown says.
Tip 3. Follow your holiday bliss. "My wife and daughter and I actually prefer to just go
away,'' Brown says. "We rent a cabin for Christmas Eve, Christmas, and the day after. It forces
us to leave all the distractions behind and just enjoy being together. We get in touch with what
the holidays are all about.''
Reviewed October 2001 by Gary D. Vogin, MD.