Home Matters: Not So Happy Holidays
By Michelle Post, MA, LMFT
March 10, 2006
As you relish holiday gatherings, joy, generosity, love and “Happy Holidays” wishes this
season, remember to manage or, better yet, exorcise your inner stresses and resentments.
41% of people surveyed by Dateline NBC/Prevention Magazine rated the Christmas and
Hanukkah holiday season as stressful. Although there is a myth about increased suicide
during the holidays, statistics and therapists do attest to an increase in substance abuse,
domestic violence, seasonal affective disorder, and stress related to Holidays. First you
must recognize your stress, then take steps to cope. Scan through this list of symptoms:
Emotional Signs of Stress: Fear/panic, guilt, rage, depression, numbness,
crying, self-deprecation, and irritability/mood swings.
Physical Signs of Stress: Increased heart rate, diarrhea or constipation,
nausea/vomiting, headaches, shaking/trembling, fatigue, sleep disturbance (trouble falling
asleep or staying asleep), appetite disturbance (lack of interest in food or increase in
eating comfort foods), speech problems, dry mouth/thirst, profuse sweating, itching,
dizziness, shortness of breath, poor coordination or clumsiness.
Behavioral Signs of Stress: Increased substance abuse, aggressive behavior,
social withdrawal, reckless behavior, easily startled/jumpiness, diminished sexual interest
and function, flashbacks or disturbing images.
If you have more than 20% of these symptoms, remember that avoiding
feelings or numbing with alcohol can increase sleep disturbance and depress the immune
system. Instead, see your doctor and consider scheduling some of these self-care
appointments:
 Talk with a good friend or family member about what is stressing you.
 Write in a journal, draw or write poetry
 Take a “time-out” for pleasure reading, relaxing, or getting a massage.
 Meditate, pray, or explore your spirituality or higher power.
 Take yoga, exercise, or just get some fresh air.
 Enjoy a beautiful place in nature (beach, park, hiking trail, etc.)
 Go to a movie or a to a museum
 Use time management skills to tackle your “to do list”. Don’t overbook
yourself, wait to the last minute, or try to “squeeze” one more stop in.
 Eat healthy, energizing foods rather than fatigue inducing or numbing foods.
 Make something “crafty” by yourself or with friends. PET Scans show that
the part of the brain that is activated in healing the body is the same part that
is activated when one is engaged in creative activities.
With busy schedules, expectations, disappointments, time with family who you
love (or sometimes just tolerate), it is no surprise that people often experience those
“Holiday Blues” before and after all is said and done. This holiday season take time to
give to others AND give to yourself.
Michelle Post is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in
West Los Angeles specializing in children, adolescents, and families who are dealing
with grief and loss, pain management, stress management, and life transitions. Ms. Post
is also a Clinical Aftercare Specialist for OneLegacy, a Donate Life Organization. She
can be reached at info@michelle-post.com or 310/927-5611.