From:
To:
Date:
Subject:
Tawny Leger
Professor David Thacker
September 12, 2014
Appropriate Use of Electronic Communication
Dear Professor David Thacker,
After studying the concepts of technical writing, I have learned that I have many areas in need of
growth concerning my writing skills. I specifically found I often use unnecessary filler words to
meet my word requirements. These words and phrases are referred to as “zeros” in the textbook.
After studying about unnecessary words and phrases I was able to identify many “zeros that
could be eliminated in my essay. More specifically, I found several theme words that I
unnecessarily used such as: what, that, he and the.
Example of Zeros in My Essay:
Evidence:
What I find fascinating about Richard III’s Hunchback is that Shakespeare really
used this physical attribute to give meaning behind why Richard III was so
spiteful and avenging.
Edits:
I find it fascinating that Shakespeare used this physical attribute to give meaning
behind why Richard III was so villainous.
Explanation: In the original sentence, I used too many unnecessary words. I believe the
reason I do this is to meet the required word minimum. I am learning as I delete
the unnecessary words, I will have room for more valuable information; and
therefore will be able to strengthen my essays.
In addition to using many zeros in my original draft, I also used several unnecessary passive
phrases. These passive phrases could confuse the reader and provide less clarity than desired. I
was not aware of what a “passive phrase” is before reading the textbook and listening to the
online lectures at Bblearn. However, since learning about them, I have realized that I
unnecessarily use them in my essays.
Example of Passive Phrase:
This was confirmed when in “September 2012, a team of archaeologists from
Leicester University uncovered a body…” that was indeed Richard III and had
some spinal deformities
Edits:
A team of archaeologists from Leicester University confirmed Richard III’s
deformity when they discovered the body in 2012
Explanation: In the original sentence, I wrote the verb (confirmed) before the subject (team of
archaeologists). This causes more confusion for the reader. The edited version
provides more clarity for the reader.
Evidence:
All in all, I have learned much about edited my writings to make them clearer and more concise.
This exercise has helped me grown in my understanding of how to write in such a way that helps
the reader understand my point.
Tawny Leger
Intro. To Shakespeare
Research on Richard III
Edited Version
For my research on Richard III I chose to focus on the I focused on questions (a) and
(b). Question (a) (A) deals with the general Concerns background information concerning about
William Shakespeare’s history plays, and how why Richard III fits into this genre of plays.
Question (b) deals with my requires examination of the real Richard III who existed and how
versus Shakespeare’s fictionalized Richard III compares and differs from the original Richard
III. According to Richard III Biography written by A&E Television Networks, Richard III was
born on October 2, 1452. Richard III was born on October 2, 1452 accord to his biography
written by A&E Television Networks. Richard was the King of England for merely two short
years beginning on July 6, 1483; however, his reign as King is very famous. Shakespeare took
various real facts about Richard III, as King of England then exaggerated and exemplified and
fictionalized those attributes to form a very entertaining play.
According to studies about Richard III, scholars found that he was not wasn’t
hunchbacked but did have some spinal deformities (scoliosis). This was confirmed when in
“September 2012, a team of archaeologists from Leicester University uncovered a body…” that
was indeed Richard III and had some spinal deformities A team of archaeologists from Leicester
University confirmed Richard III’s deformity when they discovered the body in 2012 (Richard
III King Bio.) What I find fascinating about Richard III’s Hunchback is I find it fascinating that
Shakespeare really used this physical attribute to give meaning behind why Richard III was so
spiteful and avenging Villainous. Shakespeare writes that claims Richard III felt unloved because
of his hunchback, and thus did not respond lovingly to others (SparksNotes.) Shakespeare is
claiming that because Richard III had this deformity, and because he got teased, this is why he
was such a villainous person Richard III has become a tyrant because Richard III has been teased
throughout his life for his spinal deformity. Shakespeare took a true fact about Richard III and
added emphasis to explain how it formed the character in his play.
Another interesting characteristic about the fictional character Richard III, is that he is
undoubtedly considered the villain in Shakespeare’s play (SparkNotes); Richard III plays a tyrant
Shakespeare claims in his play, that Richard III who will do anything do get into kingship. For
example, Richard III is blamed for the death of his nephews in Shakespeare’s play. However
scholars argue if whether or not he was an evil leader or not. Some scholars argue that the myths
regarding Richard III’s evil nature are a fallacy. Who murdered Richard III’s nephews is still
being debated today as well Scholars are still debating who murdered Richard III’s nephews.
There is not enough true evidence to confirm if it was Richard III or not.
All in all, I think there are many speculations regarding who the real Richard III was
and how he reigned as King Richard III truly was. I believe that Shakespeare’s play on Richard
III has much to do with society’s perception of the real Richard III. Some of the myths
speculations of about Richard III have since been confirmed, while others have been proven
wrong. Scholars, themselves, are still trying to figure out debate what type of man, king and kin
he was to those around him. Perhaps time shall reveal more evidence for the world to know who
he truly was.
"King Richard III." Bio. A&E Television Networks, 2014. Web. 11 Sep. 2014.
SparkNotes Editors. “SparkNote on Richard III.” SparkNotes.com. SparkNotes LLC. 2002. Web.
2 Sept. 2014.
Tawny Leger
Intro. To Shakespeare
Research on Richard III
Original Version
For my research on Richard III I chose to focus on the questions (a) and (b). Question
(a) deals with the general background information concerning William Shakespeare’s history
plays, and how Richard III fits into this genre of plays. Question (b) deals with my examination
of the real Richard III who existed and how Shakespeare’s fictionalized Richard compares and
differs from the original Richard III. According to Richard III Biography written by A&E
Television Networks, Richard III was born on October 2, 1452. Richard was the King of England
for merely two short years beginning on July 6, 1483. However his reign as King is very famous.
Shakespeare took various real facts about Richard III as King of England and exemplified and
fictionalized those attributes to form a very entertaining play.
According to studies about Richard III, scholar found that he was not hunchbacked but
did have some spinal deformities. This was confirmed when in “September 2012, a team of
archaeologists from Leicester University uncovered a body…” that was indeed Richard III and
had some spinal deformities (Richard III King Bio.) What I find fascinating about Richard III’s
Hunchback is that Shakespeare really used this physical attribute to give meaning behind why
Richard III was so spiteful and avenging. Shakespeare writes that Richard III felt unloved
because of his hunchback, and thus did not respond lovingly to others (SparksNotes.)
Shakespeare is claiming that because Richard III had this deformity, and because he got teased,
this is why he was such a villainous person. Shakespeare took a true fact about Richard III and
added emphasis to explain how it formed the character in his play.
Another interesting characteristic about the fictional character Richard III, is that he is
undoubtedly considered the villain in Shakespeare’s play (SparkNotes); Richard III plays a tyrant
who will do anything do get into kingship. Richard III is blamed for the death of his nephews in
Shakespeare’s play. However scholars argue whether or not he was an evil leader or not. Some
scholars argue that the myths regarding Richard III’s evil nature are a fallacy. Who murdered
Richard III’s nephews is still being debated today as well. There is not enough true evidence to
confirm if it was Richard III or not.
All in all, I think there are many speculations regarding who the real Richard III was
and how he reigned as King. I believe that Shakespeare’s play on Richard III has much to do
with society’s perception of the real Richard III. Some of the myths about Richard III have since
been confirmed, while others have been proven wrong. Scholars, themselves, are still trying to
figure out what type of man, king and kin he was to those around him. Perhaps time shall reveal
more evidence for the world to know who he truly was.
"King Richard III." Bio. A&E Television Networks, 2014. Web. 11 Sep. 2014.
SparkNotes Editors. “SparkNote on Richard III.” SparkNotes.com. SparkNotes LLC. 2002. Web.
2 Sept. 2014.