Department of Applied English
Southern Taiwan University of Technology
Advisor 指導老師：周俊男 老師
Project Title:
Kang-Yong, Tsai’s Speaking Ways: a Translation
Group Members：
應英四丙
497C0138 李兆云
497C0142 王琇樺
49637903 許祐誠
January 2012
Contents
1. 摘要 Abstract
P. 3
2. 康永說: 已經很討人喜歡的你, 在未來會更討人喜歡
P. 4
Kang-yong said, “You, a lovely person, will be liked better in the future.”
3. 康永說: 你說什麼樣的話你就是什麼樣的人
P. 8
Kang-yong said, “What you say makes who you are.”
4. 康永說: 把對方看在眼裡，放在心裡
P. 13
Kang-yong said, “See someone in your eyes and put someone in your heart.”
5. 康永說: 話題卡住了，就換話題，不要戀棧
P. 16
Kang – yong said, “If the topic of conversation can’t be continued, change the
topic. Don’t addict to the original one. ”
6. 康永說: 問的問題越具體，回答的人越省力
P. 22
Kang – yong said, “Ask a more specific question, and it will be easier for the one
to answer.”
7. 康永說: 打麻將就該用手洗牌, 空檔是很重要的
P. 27
Kang –yong said, “When playing mah-jongg, you should use your hands to
reshuffle because the break time is very important.”
8. 想知道發生了什麼事嗎?
P. 32
Do you want to know what happens?
9. 幽默像走路, 講笑話像翻跟斗
P. 35
Humor is just like walking, and talking is just like turning a somersault.
10. 再也不用擔心有關於說話的內容沒有深度
P. 38
Never worry about talking about something shallow
11. 初次見面,應該說什麼？
P. 41
What do you say when you see each other for the first time?
-1-
12. 康永說:自問自答，站在對方的立場來想
P. 44
Kang-yong said, “ reflect yourself and stand in others’ shoes.”
13. 康永說：爛話題，就像默默的聞到有人放了一個屁
P. 48
Kang-yong said, “Bad topic is like the smell of a fart.”
14. 別人讚美你一句，你就回一句讚美
P. 52
If others you praise you, you praise them back
15. 你是在鞏固友誼，還是增加彼此的冷漠?
P. 54
Do you strengthen each other’s friendship, or increase each other’s coolness?
15. 傳達感情，不要只會說
P. 57
Actions speak louder than words
-2-
摘要
越來越多人了解說話對人際關係的重要性， 會說話的人總是能夠得到令人
羨慕的關係。
口才很重要，這是一本相當實用、有趣且受歡迎的書，讀者可以藉名人觀
點增進一些說話的能力。本書:「我不在乎說話之術，而在意說話之道。我的說
話之道，就是把你放在心上。」把說話練好，是最划算的事。因為怎麼說，決定
你是誰；說對了話，人生節目就由你主持！」
Abstract
There are more and more people who understand the importance of speech to the
relationship. People who own good speech always get a relationship of admiration.
Eloquence is very important, and this book is very useful, interesting, and
popular. Readers can learn from the points of view of the celebrity to have some
speaking ability. The book: “I don’t care about talking skill but talking method.
My talking method is to put you on my heart.” “ It is worth practicing speaking
ability because how you say represents who you are; when your
speaking ability is excellent, you will host the programs of your life.”
-3-
01 康永說: 已經很討人喜歡的你, 在未來會更討人喜歡
「我那天碰到阿男，他說他覺得你人好好！又漂亮！」一起唱歌的一個禮拜
之後，小戈這樣告訴坐他旁邊的古古。
呃……阿男，真的有這樣說嗎？天曉得！但誰在乎呢，只要阿男是個略懂人
情世故的人，就算他沒說過這話，他下次碰到古古，聽古古提起，他也不會否認
的。
不會否認，是因為這句轉告的話，讓古古和阿男和小戈三個人的關係都更好
啊！每個人都開心，沒有人受傷害。(……除非……古古因此愛上阿男，可是阿
男根本就有女友，後來古古就很傷心……)
我自己是不會故意去捏造這類的讚美，但如果真的有聽說，就算是轉個三四
手的讚美，我也一定樂於轉達的。因為這樣做實在會讓聽的人很高興，氣氛會很
好，而且聽起來，比你自己一味說一些空洞的讚美，要可信得多了。
我的主持工作，使我一定會遇到很多我不熟的人。我如果遇到台語長壽連
續劇的老婆婆女主角，硬要說我是他的粉絲，她聽了也不會信，說不定老婆
婆
還覺得我很虛偽。但我如過是用轉述別人讚美的方式，說：住我們大樓有一
位
阿公，覺得她是整齣戲裡最有氣質的一個女生，那老婆婆女主角才聽得進去
吧。
至於事實上那位阿公有這樣說嗎？他可能只是說：「那個阿婆到這個年紀還
露乳溝，真是有氣魄啊！」
說穿了，我的建議，只是希望讓本來就已經很討人喜歡的你，在未來會更
討人喜歡而已。
但如果你想練成的說話方式，是想讓別人怕你、討厭你的話，那就請你
趕快放下這本書，把本來要買這本書的錢，拿去買武士刀或者買隻臭鼬當寵
-4-
物比較快喔。
01.Kang-yung said, “You, a lovely person, will be liked better in the future.”
“One day, I met A-nan, and he told me that you are nice and pretty!”After they
went to KTV one week ago, Xiao-ge tells Gugu who sits next to him.
Well, Did A-nan really say that? God knows! But who cares. If only A-nan
knows a bit of worldly wisdom even if he didn’t say that, he will not to deny when he
meets Gugu next time and hears that from Gugu.
He won’t deny because these sent words let the relationship better among the
three people—Gugu, A-nan and Xiao-ge! Everyone is happy and nobody hurts.
(…except…Gugu falls in love with A-nan by these words, but A-nan truly has a
girlfriend, and then Gugu feels heartbroken…)
I myself will not to fake this kind of compliment, but I would like to tell it
to the person if I really hear it, even if the compliment is passed by three or four times.
Because people who hear the compliment from me will be very delightful. The
atmosphere will be good, and it sounds trustier than you say some empty
compliments.
My job of host makes me have to meet a lot of people who I am not familiar
with. If I meet the old lady who is the actress in the Taiwanese soap opera which is
longevity andforce myself to tell her that I am her fan, she will not believe me.
Perhaps, she will think that I am pretend. However, if I use another way—telling her
the compliment that I hear from someone else, then the actress will believe. For
example, I say, “One old man who lives in our building said you are the lady who has
the most graceful temperament in the whole soap opera.”
-5-
Did the old man really say that? He may just said, “The old lady shows cleavage
at this age. She is really daring!”
Frankly speaking, I just hope my suggestion will make you, a lovely person, be
liked better in the future.
But if you want to get a speaking ability that makes people be afraid of you and
hate you, then please put down this book right away. You can take the money that is
originally for you to buy this book and go to purchase a katana or a skunk as a pet.
That will be faster.
-6-
02.康永說: 你說什麼樣的話你就是什麼樣的人
「你把球鞋丟在這裡，是想害我摔死啊！！」古古對阿男大吼，這是他們
同居的第三年。
絆到球鞋，真的會摔死嗎？
難說。在樓梯轉角絆到球鞋，然後從第十樓一路順利的翻滾到一樓，可能會
死掉。所以這話也未必太誇張。
但古古絆到阿男脫下的球鞋，一定也有別的話可以說。
古古可以推理：「你球鞋怎麼脫在這裡？你昨天晚上一定又喝醉了！」
古古可以怨嘆：「你不是講好不買這雙球鞋的嗎？這雙球鞋的錢，夠我買一
個微波爐耶！」
古古也可以撒嬌：「怎麼辦！被你的球鞋絆到了啦！痛痛捏……」
古古會說什麼樣的話，決定於他要在阿男的眼中，扮演什麼樣的人。他要扮
的是毆巴桑，她就會說出歐巴桑愛說的話。他要扮未婚妻，就會說出未婚妻該說
的話。他要扮美眉，就會說美眉的話。
很多人以為：你說什麼樣的話，透露出你是什麼樣的人。
但我覺得不只如此。我覺得：你說什麼樣的話，你就是什麼樣的人。
「You are what you say.」
你老是覺得你是可憐蟲，別人都在欺負你，你確實就會常常說出可憐蟲心態
的話。但不只如此，反過來也一樣：你每句話都說可憐蟲才會說的話，說久了，
你就會是可憐蟲。
當古古大吼說：「你想害我摔死」時，阿男一定會覺得這瘋婆子有被害妄想
症。(相信我，就算我這種在殺人界完全是肉腳的人，也不會想靠亂丟球鞋這麼
沒效率的招數去殺人的。)
從此，阿男心中的古古，就多了一張小小的便利貼，上面寫著：「被害妄想
者」
。下次他們再吵架時，
「被迫害」就會變成阿男抱怨古古的一個依據，阿男會
-7-
說：「你每次都以為我會對不起你，你這麼愛冤枉我，乾脆我真的出去跟別人亂
搞算了！」
是啊，古古說的話，不但是「果」，透露出古古怎麼看事情，還會倒過來變
成「因」，倒過來「引導」古古去看事情，然後再「引導」古古身邊重要的人這
樣去看古古。
你嘴上愛抱怨，你就成為「怨女」
。你嘴上愛耍賤，你就成為「賤嘴」
。你老
是說色情笑話，你就成為色瞇瞇怪叔叔……雖然，我們都知道你骨子裡可能並不
是這樣的人。
你真的想變成給別人溫暖的小太陽嗎？那你就從說話開始，訂出一些簡單
的，你真的作得到的事，例如：規定自己每週三中午一定發出一通簡訊，問候一
位在你通訊錄上的朋友，而且在對方回你簡訊之後，一定再回覆一則給對方加油
的簡訊。(「那萬一對方跟我借錢怎麼辦？」「那……還是要叫他加油啊！」)
02. Kang-yung said, “What you say makes who you are.”
“Do you want me to fall down and die because you put the sneaker here?
“ Gugu yelled at A-nan. They live together and it’s the third year.
Is it true that someone will fall down and die by stumbling over a sneaker?
It is hard to say. That is possible to die when someone stumbles over a sneaker at
a corner of stairs, and then he or she tumbles successfully from floor 10 to 1. Thus,
her wordis not too exaggerated.
However, Gugu must have other words to say when she stumbled over the
sneaker that A-nan took off.
Gugu can draw inference, “How come did you take off your sneaker here? You
must be drunk last night!”
-8-
Gugu can complain about, “Don’t you say you will not buy this pair of sneaker?
The amount of money for you to buy the shoes is enough for me to buy a new
microwaveoven!”
Gugu also can act like a child, “What can I do? I stumbled on your sneaker! My
leg hurts…”What Gugu will say depends on which role Gugu wants to play in
A-nan’s eyes.
She loves to play as an old woman, and she will say what an old woman loves to
say. She wants to play as a fiancée, and she will say what a fiancée should say. She
wants to play as a young girl, and she will say what a young girl says.
Many people think what you say reveals what kind of people you are.
But I think that is not what it all adds up to. My opinion is what you say equals
to what kind of people you are.
“You are what you say.”
You always think you are a pitiful creature and are constantly bullied by people.
You do often say what a pitiful creature says. But it is even more and vice versa.
Every sentence you make belongs to a pitiful creature’s talk. After a period of time,
you will become a pitiful creature.
At the time, Gugu is yelling, “Do you want me to fall down and die?” A-nan
must think Gugu, the insane woman, is sick with persecutory delusions—she thinks
excessively that someone will do her harm. (Believe me. Even though I, a totally
novice at killing people circle, won’t use this inefficient trick, littering sneaker, to
kill.)
From this on, in A-nan's mind, Gugu gets a little Post-it note with script—“The
insane woman who thinks someone will do her harm.”Next time, as they have quarrel
with each other, doing me harm becomes a basis for A-nan to complain about
Gugu. A-nan will say, “You always think I will betray to you. Since you like to think
-9-
the situation that does not exist, then I may simply go to play with other girls.”
Yes, what Gugu said becomes not only effect but also cause. Her words reveal
how Gugu thinks of things, and her words will become cause inversely, and her words
will inversely guide Gugu to think of things, and then her words will guide the
important people around Gugu how to think of her.
You often grumble over things, and then you change into a female grumbler. You
often say something despicable, and you change into a despicable mouth. You often
tell jokes of pornography, and you change into a lecherous and queer uncle…
although we know that you may not this kind of people in your heart of hearts.
Do you really want to be the little Sun that makes people feel warm? Then you
can start from speaking. List some things that are easy and can be really made by you.
For example, you make it a rule to send messages on every Wednesday noon and
greet one of your friends in your phone book. Besides, after your friend sends a
massage back to you, you must reply to him/ her with an encouraging message.
(“What am I supposed to do in case my friend wants to borrow money from me?”
“Then… you can still encourage your friend!”)
- 10 -
03.康永說: 把對方看在眼裡，放在心裡
小戈依照很多「教說話的書」指示，和古古約會的時候，小戈很努力的，一
直保持兩眼望著古古的眼睛。可能這樣做真的很累，過了五分鐘，小戈就覺得自
己都快變成鬥雞眼了。不過，更累的是被看的古古。古古心裡其實在冒冷汗，擔
心自己是不是被看出什麼破綻來了？是鼻頭的粉撲得不夠、被看出來毛孔有點粗
大嗎？假睫毛沒黏好？魚尾紋？眼屎？古古會這麼緊張，是因為小戈看她的方
法，太像「驗屍」了。看有很多種，
「端詳」
「檢驗」
「審視」
，跟「注意」
「注視」
「望著」，有分寸上的不同。約會的時候，當然最好是三不五時的、帶著感情、
望著對方，讓對方感覺到兩人之間有曖昧的電流在傳遞，而不是「兩個餓壞了的
人聚在一起填飽肚子」。有的人約會時，雖然精心挑選了適合談話的法國餐廳，
精心挑選了老少咸宜的法國紅酒白酒，但進了餐廳一坐下來就「認真」的研究菜
單，研究完菜單就「認真」的跟侍者討論菜色。然後呢，酒來了就「認真」品酒，
菜來了就「認真」吃菜，是怎樣？你以為自己是米其林餐廳指南派出來的美食密
探？約會就是約會，就是要含情脈脈，吃喝點菜都是「調情」的好機會。面對外
文菜單，你可以嘲笑自己在外文上鬧過什麼笑話，讓對方覺得你好親切，也可以
趁機講一個自己去旅行時見識到的小風格，讓對方覺得你很見多識廣。在這麼做
的時候，你當然要不時「望著」對方，帶著一點點「觀察」
，讓對方充分感覺到，
她在你眼中的「存在」。講到火鍋要多辣的時候，看她有沒有皺眉？看她有要起
身的樣子，雖然不用誇張到一個箭步移形換影去幫她拉椅子，但不妨貼心的告訴
她，餐廳的化妝室在哪個方向。這些，都需要你保持「眼角觀察」，但不必「端
詳審視」的。很多人以為懂美食美酒，就是有品味的人。我一點都不同意，懂美
食美酒的無聊蛋，我見多了，跟這樣的人聚會，你絕不會有「如沐春風」的感覺，
因為他們沒有「以你為尊」
，而是「以吃喝為尊」
。一個人，如果能做到把對方「看
在眼裡、放在心裡」
，就算這個狀態，只維持一頓飯的時間，也能讓對方覺得「被
重視」，如沐春風。看到沒？「被重視」，是關鍵字喔，要緊的，就是那個「視」
- 11 -
字啊。
03. Kang-yung said, “See someone in your eyes and put someone in your heart.”
Xiao-ge follows direction from many books that teach how to say. When he is
dating with Gugu, Xiao-ge makes effort to keep staring at Gugu’s eyes with his both
eyes. It may be really tiring, and he feels himself almost to get a cockeye.
Nevertheless, Gugu is more tired by being stared. In fact, Gugu is sweating on her
mind. She worries about herself if Xiao-ge finds flaws from her? Haven’t I used
enough powder on my nose? Was I found by him that my pores are too big? Didn’t I
glue my eyelash well? Wrinkles around the eyes? Gum? The reason why Gugu is so
nervous is that his way of seeing is too close making an autopsy for her. There are
many kinds of seeing such as looking, inspecting, gazing, observing, staring, and
viewing. They are different in measure. While you are dating with someone, looking
at the one with feeling from time to time is certainly the best. You should let her feel
about an adoring electric current between you two, not that two hungry people get
together and eat. Some people select elaborately both a French restaurant that is
suitable for talking and French red and white wines that are suitable for the old and
the young. However, they enter the restaurant, sit down, and seriously research the
menu. After researching the menu, he seriously discusses the dishes with the waiter.
What is the next? Taste the wines seriously after the wines are served and eat their
meals seriously after the meals are served. What’s that? Do you think you are a spy
looking for delicacies assigned by Michelin Guide? Appointment is appointment. You
need to exude tenderness and love. That will be good chances to flirt with the girl
during eating, drinking, and ordering. When facing the menu of foreign language, you
- 12 -
can laugh at yourself on what ridiculous mistakes of language you made before and
make her think you are a decent person. You can also take the opportunity to tell a
manner which you learned during travelling to show her that you are experienced and
knowledgeable. As you are talking, you, of course, have to look at her from time to
time with a little observing, let her completely know that she exists in your eyes. As
you mention about how spicy you want the hot pot is, see if she frowns. If you notice
that she wants to rise from the chair, you don’t have to help her to pull the chair by
just one step, but you can be considerate to tell her the direction of rest room. These
need you to keep observing but not gazing. A lot of people think someone who knows
about good food and wine equals to have taste. I don’t agree with that at all. I see lots
of boring people who know about good food and wine. Being with this kind of people,
you never feel comfortable because they didn’t respect you but respect how to eat and
drink. If you can see someone in your eyes and put someone in your heart, even
though you just last this situation for a period of time during one meal, you can still
make people receive your respect and feel comfortable. Do you see that? Respect is
key word, and to look is essential.
- 13 -
04. 康永說: 話題卡住了，就換話題，不要戀棧
古古：「你說，你是不是帶你每一任的女朋友來這裡看夜景？」小戈：（卡
住......）小戈這算是比較驚險的被卡住啦，如果在連續劇裡，這時小戈應該會有
一個臉部特寫，配一段晴天霹靂的音效。但平常我們在談話中卡住時，多半很平
淡，就只是剛好沒話可以接了而已。
小戈：「你媽媽身體最近比較好了嗎？」
古古：「喔，很好，都沒問題了，謝謝你這麼關心耶。」
小戈：「別客氣……」 （卡住）
如果古古的媽媽住到加護病房了，我想古古就會有很多話要對小戈講，小戈
也就會有很多問題可以問，就不會卡住。但我們當然絕對不應該為了談話順暢，
就任性的把古古的媽媽送進加護病房！我們應該靠自己解決問題。話題卡住了，
就換話題，不要戀棧。我知道有些話題你起了個頭，是希望問出一個結果，或是
要告訴對方某件事，但卡住了就是卡住了，暫且丟開比較不會手忙腳亂，有機會
再繞回來就可以了。你看電影裡的殺手，每次忽然發現手槍裡的子彈卡住了，或
者射完沒子彈了，就會改用拳腳進攻，很少堅持拿著已經沒有子彈的槍當武器去
敲敵人的頭。
無可避免，有些人本來就防衛心很強，或者天生個性冷淡，你再怎麼努力找
話題跟他講，他就是淡淡的回答你「是喔」
「真的啊」
，這些都是會讓你卡住的回
答。這樣的人，如果你並沒有和他戀愛的打算，那我建議你明快有禮的說清楚該
說的話，類似「老師說明早九點在車站集合喔」或「那麼很抱歉這次就不麻煩您
了」，說完就可以閃了。
但如果是你在意的人，談話卻卡住的話，其實不必用力挽救，另開一個話題
即可：
小戈：
「我昨天租了一部片子，是講未來世界，人的記憶可以被假造的故事。」
古古：「聽起來好難懂喔……」
- 14 -
小戈（馬上另起爐灶）：「我後來在路上，竟然看到林志玲在買炸雞排耶！」
古古（眼睛一亮）:「林志玲本人漂不漂亮?」
如果在相聚的兩小時裡面，你有三次讓對方開心的笑，那對方應該是絕對不
會記得你曾經提過幾個無聊的話題的。（除非她偷偷按下手機的錄音鍵，回去把
整場談話根據錄音整理成書面……如果是這樣……其實分手可能比較好……）
喜劇片裡面，笨拙的男主角打破女生最愛的一個花瓶時，趕快用腳把花瓶碎
片掃到沙發底下，手上卻抽出花瓶裡的玫瑰，放在女主角臉的旁邊說：「你比玫
瑰花還美十倍……」女主角笑逐顏開，馬上置破花瓶於腦後，這個場面，某個程
度是真的啊。
談話是發生在當下的事情，很少人能同時聽著你講話，腦子裡卻一直惦記著
三分鐘前你講了什麼爛話題，這又不是期末考，教授在聽你做報告，遇到會卡住
的話題，就讓它摔破在地上，用腳掃到沙發底下就結了。
04. Kang – yong said, “If the topic of conversation can’t be continued, change the
topic. Don’t addict to the original one. ”
“You say! Do you bring every of your girlfriends here for the night
scenes?”Gugu asked.“……” (Xiao-ge can’t say anything.)
It is more dangerous that Xiao-ge can’t say anything. If this situation happens in
a drama, Xiao-ge should have a close-up on his face with sound effects like a
thunderbolt from a clear sky. However, when we can’t continue to say anything in a
conversation during our daily lives, the most part of it is very dull. We just don’t have
words to say.
“Does your mother’s body get better recently?” Xiao-ge asked.
“Oh, she is very well and there is no problem now. Thank you for caring about
- 15 -
her so much.” Gugu answered.
“You are welcome……” (Xiao-ge can’t continue to say anything.)
If Gugu’s mother stays at an intensive care unit of a hospital, I think that Gugu
will have a lot of words to tell to Xiao-ge. Xiao-ge will also have a lot of questions to
ask her, and the conversation will be continued. However, we, of course and
absolutely, shouldn’t want to make the talk smoothly and then capriciously let her
mother stay at an intensive care unit! We should rely on our own to solve the problem.
If the topic of conversation can’t be continued, change the topic. Don’t addict to
the original one. I know you start some topics of conversation in order to ask a result
or to tell something. However, getting stuck is getting stuck. To forget for a while will
not make you act with confusion, and you can get back to the topic when there is a
chance. For example, a killer in a movie will change from using his pistol to his fist
and feet to continue to attack when every time he suddenly finds the bullet getting
stuck in the pistol or his running out of bullets. Fewer killers will insist on taking a
pistol which is out of bullets as a weapon to knock his foe’s head. Unavoidably, some
people essentially are defenders or naturally have cool personalities. No matter how
you endeavor to find topics to talk to him, he will just answer you in such a way as
“Yes” ”Really?” These answers will make you get stuck. If you don’t intend to fall in
love with this kind of people, I will suggest you can say clearly, sprightly and politely
what you want to say. For example, “Teacher said we should be assembled at the
station at 9:00 on tomorrow morning.” ”I am sorry. This time, I will not trouble you. ”
After finishing, you can go.
However, if you care about the one but you get stuck, actually, you don’t need to
rescue the situation. You can just start another topic. For instance,
“I rented a film yesterday. The film is about human’s memory which can be
counterfeited in the future world.” Xiao-ge said.
- 16 -
“It sounds a hard thing to understand……” Gugu said.
“After that, on the road, to my surprise, I saw Lin chi-ling who was buying fried
chicken!” Xiao-ge started all over again.
“Is she pretty personally?” Gugu’s eyes became shining.
If you can make the person laugh for 3 times within 2 hours when you get
together, then the person should not remember that you have mentioned some boring
topics. (Unless she pushed a record button of a cell phone stealthily, then go back to
arrange the whole conversation in a written form according to the record…if it is
true… in fact, breaking up may be better…)
In comedy, when the clumsy lead actor smashed the girl’s favorite vase, he
immediately used his feet to sweep the pieces of the vase under the sofa and drew out
the roses from the smashed vase with hands, and he put them beside the lead actress’s
face. Then he said: “You are tenfold beautiful than the roses……” The lead actress is
to beam with smiles and to ignore the smashed vase right away. This scene is real on
some degree.
Conversation happens on the instant. Most people won’t hear your talk and at the
same time, remember with concern a bad topic you mentioned 3 minutes ago.
Conversation is not a final exam. A professor is hearing your report. So, when
you can’t continue talking a topic, throw it down on the ground and sweep it under a
sofa, and that’s ok.
- 17 -
05. 康永說: 問的問題越具體，回答的人越省力
問的問題越具體，回答的人越省力。回答的人越省力，他就越有力氣和
你聊下去。
「你喜歡去什麼樣的國家旅行？」比不上「你旅行時有被騙過錢嗎？」
「你喜歡什麼樣的男生？」比不上「你喜歡王力宏那樣的男人嗎？」
因為，問問題，最好有「退路」
，也就是說，就算對方回答「沒有被騙過錢」
或者「對王力宏那型的男人沒有感覺」的時候，你自己應該口袋裡也有些相關的
有趣的事可以講，要不然，你的問題就應該是其他你有話可說的題目。如果你也
沒被騙過錢，那你比較適合改問：
「你旅行時會亂買東西」或「有沒有搭錯車過」
等等你自己也有故事可說的題目。
至於「喜歡什麼樣的國家、男生、衣服……」這種題目，其實也很不錯，起
碼是很友善、也很安全的問題，但這類問題需要對方做一番「歸納整理」的工作，
有點費對方的腦力。萬一對方不擅於歸納整理，或剛好沒力氣動腦筋時，她可能
就會回答：「我也不知道耶」或者「都好啊」這類比較掃興的答案。
我建議的發問方式，可以是先問兩三個像是非題或選擇題的具體問題，把對
方有興趣聊的範圍給摸索出來，再用申論題往下問。
比方說，先用是非題，探出來古古覺得蔣經國很迷人，那就比較知道她的路
數應該不是迷王力宏、強尼戴普等偶像的。(當然，也有都要的啦，蔣經國、馬
英九、王力宏、強尼戴普、姚明、成龍、吳宗憲、東方神起……都要的)
聊天，如果一開始就製造出雙方都很想講話的氣氛，對方就會覺得:「怎麼
跟你有說不完的話?」 「和你談天好輕鬆！」這種感受。
這種感受，有時是天時地利人和，有時是對方在講客氣話哄你（尤其如果你
是去酒店或牛郎店花錢買聊天的話）。而最可靠的，是靠你自己暗暗掌控、製造
出這樣的感受。
被你的問題所引導的人，其實不太會察覺你在掌控什麼，因為氣氛很愉快，
- 18 -
腦中就不會有警鈴響起。別人這樣對我的時候，我腦中也不會響警鈴，因為人都
想找到知已，人都想被了解，每次愉快的談天，都像靈魂被按摩過一樣，會讓你
以為「終於遇到知己」了。
當然很可惜的是，知己有時只是一個有明確目的，要利用你的人。當地圖整
卷攤開而匕首出現時，你難免覺得被潑一盆冰水。十年不見的老同學，和你講了
十次愉快的電話之後，終於告訴你，希望你買她推薦的保養品，成為她在直銷公
司的下線。這時，我建議你：開朗看待這件事。你男友陪你聊天三百次、逛街里
程累積八百公里，還不就是為了：把你弄到手？
05. Kang – yong said, “Ask a more specific question, and it will be easier
for the one to answer.”
Ask a more specific question, and it will be easier for the one to answer. To
answer your question is easier, and then the one will have more strength to continue
talking with you.
“What type of country do you like to travel in?” is worse than ”Have you ever
been cheated of money when travelling? ”
“What kind of boy do you like?” is worse than “Do you like Lee-Hom-Wang
kind of man? ”
Because you had better have a route for retreating while asking questions, that is
to say, even if the answerer says that she wasn’t cheated of money when travelling or
she doesn’t like Lee-Hom-Wang kind of man, you should have related and interesting
things to say in your pockets, or your question should be other topics which you can
have something to say about. If you also didn’t be cheated of money, then you suit to
change to ask “Do you buy randomly when travelling?” or “Have you ever took a
- 19 -
wrong bus?”…questions that you also have your own stories for saying.
As to ask “What kind of country, boy, or clothes…… do you like?” this kind of
questions is actually pretty good, and at least, it is a kind of friendly and safe
questions, but this kind of question needs to be drawn a conclusion to collect thoughts,
and it costs the one’s brain a little to think. In case, when the one is not good at
concluding or just doesn’t have power to consider, she might answer “I don’t know,
either” or “Both are good,” or boring answers like these.
The way to raise questions that I suggest is to ask several specific questions like
the yes/no or alternative questions. Grope about the one’s range of interests, and then
continue to ask by discoursing question.
For example, by yes/no questions, after finding out Gugu feels that Chiang
Ching-kuo is very charming, and you will know that she would not like
Lee-Hom-Wang or Johnny Depp…… (Of course, there may be someone who likes all
of them, such as Chiang Ching-kuo, Ma Ying-jeou, Lee-Hom- Wang, Johnny Depp,
Yao Ming, Jackie Chan, Jacky Wu, or TVXQ…… )
If you produce an atmosphere that both of you want to chat eagerly in the
beginning of the chat, the one will get feelings “Why can I chat with you endlessly? ”
“Having chat with you is so relaxing!”
This kind of feeling sometimes happens at right time, right place, and right
people and sometimes when the one coaxes you, especially if you spend money to
buy chat at a liquor shop or gigolo shop. You yourself who produce this kind of
feeling secretly are the most reliable.
People who are guided by your questions actually will not be conscious of what
you are controlling because the atmosphere is very cheerful, and an alarm bell will not
make a sound in the brain. When other people treat me so, the alarm bell also won’t
make a sound in my brain because all of us want to find an intimate friend and to be
- 20 -
understood. Every time when you get a cheerful talk with someone, your soul seems
to be massaged, and that will make you believe “I eventually met my intimate friend.”
Certainly and sadly, sometimes an intimate friend is just a person who has a clear
purpose and wants to use you. When all of the map is opened and the dagger appears,
you are hard to avoid feeling to be poured cold water on you. Your old classmate and
you have not seen each other for ten years. After she talked cheerfully with you on
telephone, she finally told you that she hoped you to buy the skin care products which
she recommends and become her down line in her direct selling company. At this time,
I suggest you should be optimistic to think about it. Your boy friend chats with you
for 300 times and goes out with you for so many times that the distance you travel is
as long as 800 km. His purpose is “to have you.”
- 21 -
06. 康永說: 打麻將就該用手洗牌, 空檔是很重要的
小戈表面上喜歡看籃球賽，但實際上他更愛看中場休息時，穿很少的啦啦隊
辣妹們踢腿跳舞。對小戈來說，籃球賽的空檔，比籃球賽更重要。
小戈不算是怪咖，很多事都是這樣，空檔比較重要。
你看電視節目，播廣告時你認為是空檔，跑去上廁所。但對電視台來說，對
製作人來說，被你當成是空檔的廣告，比節目本身重要多了。沒有那些廣告，就
沒有錢做節目給大家看了。
對我爸爸這樣的老派上海人來說，為了節省時間而發明的電動洗牌麻將桌，
大概也會被認為是「本末倒置」的錯誤發明。因為每打一把牌，中間搓洗麻將牌
的時間，正好用來稍微「談一點正事」。其實那一點點洗牌的時間，也只夠隨口
探問一下對方對某件事的態度或進度，但這對我爸爸他們來說，似乎已經很夠
了，大概等四圈麻將的休息時間，或者晚飯前後再確認一下，事情就原則上講定
了。
所以，對我爸爸來說，打牌的輸贏不重要，打牌的空檔，輸贏反而更大些。
這應該是為什麼他們喜歡說打麻將是「去應酬」，而不是「去打牌」的意思吧。
談話，談天，其實也是一樣，空檔是很重要的。沒有留下空擋的說話者，連
續講三分鐘就讓聽的人頭痛死了，太陽穴會像黑道電影裡被機關槍狂射的死屍不
停原地彈跳。
你看電視上佈道或傳教的男女法師教主們，講話都很有抑揚頓挫，同時也都
慢吞吞的，因為他們講話的聲音，是一種精神上的按摩，有時輕、有時重、有時
按摩一下你的理性，但大多時候按摩你的感性。
這些人說話，都會三不五時的留下一些空檔，當他們提到媽媽養育小孩的辛
苦時，一定會停頓一下，因為要讓你有空檔回想一下自己的媽媽，然後你會感覺
像在跟他們聊天一樣，自己就在心裡默默點著頭，默默說著「是啊……是
啊……」。
- 22 -
韓劇日劇裡面，做出動人愛情告白的男女主角們，話都是說得斷斷續續，欲
言又止的，才更顯得柔腸百轉、柳暗花明。你隨便把他們任何一位的深情表白變
成三倍速快轉，立刻全部變成卡通人，韻味完全消失。
「喋喋不休」和「口才好」，完全是兩件事。跟一個寡言的人共處一小時，
是會很沉悶，但跟一個喋喋不休的人共處十分鐘，應該你就會想掐死對方了。說
話像機關槍而且很得意的人，也許可以試著改用比較古老的兵器，拉弓放箭，
拉弓放箭，留一點空檔，讓聽的人消化，只要你的話值得一聽，不用擔心，對
方一樣會見識到你威力的。
06. Kang – yong said, “When playing mah-jongg, you should use your
hands to reshuffle because the break time is very important.”
Xiao-ge seemingly likes to watch a basketball match, but actually he likes more
to watch spicy girls of a cheer squad who wear a little clothes kicking and dancing
during the half time. For Xiao-ge, the half time is more important than a basketball
game.
Xiao-ge is not a strange person because many things are all the same--break time
is more important.
When you watch TV program, you think commercial time is a break time, so you
go to the toilet. However, for a TV station and producer, the commercial time which
you think that is the break time is more important than the program itself. Without
those commercials, there will be no money to make TV programs for everyone to
watch.
For my father who is the old school and from Shanghai, an electric reshuffling
mah-jongg table which are invented to save time will approximately be thought a
- 23 -
wrong invention that it is to attend to the superficial and neglect the essentials because
when playing each round, the time for reshuffling just can for my father to talk about
“a bit of business.” In fact, the little reshuffling time is just enough for casually asking
other players’s attitude on something or the progress of it, but for my father and other
players, the bit of time seems very enough for them. Generally speaking, after the
break time of four rounds of the mah-jongg game or to make sure before or after the
dinner, the business becomes a deal in principle.
Consequently, for my father, win or loss of playing mah-jongg does not matter
while the break time is more important. This should be the reason why they like to say
“to engage in social activities” instead of ”playing mah-jongg.”
Talks and chats actually are the same with playing mah-jongg—the break time is
very important. Speaker who don’t remain time for listeners and speaks continuously
for 3 minutes will make them have headaches. The temple will like the dead body in a
movie of gangster which is shot madly by a machine gun and keeps bouncing on the
ground.
You can see the male and female masters of Buddhist or Taoist who sermonize
and preach religion on television, and they speak sluggishly with cadence at the same
time because their voice of speaking is a kind of massage, it’s sometimes light or
heavy, and it sometimes massages your sense or for the most part of your sensibility.
When these people speak, they will frequently remain some time. For instance,
as they mention a mother’s pain of bringing up children, they must have a brief pause
because they want to let you have time to recall your mother, and then you will feel as
if you are talking with them and silently nod your head at your heart with the silent
voice “Yes…yes…”
In Korean and Japanese drama, actors and actresses who make a touching
declaration of love usually speak intermittently and want to say but enduring to say
- 24 -
the words, and their tender of love and how reserved they are will be appeared more,
and we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you change any of them
who makes an affectionate declaration into threefold fast forward at random, he or she
will become a character of cartoon right away, and the charm will vanish completely.
“Rattle” and “Eloquence” are entirely two things. Getting along with a person
of few words for one hour is very boring while getting along with a person who keeps
on talking for ten minutes should make you want to strangle the one. People who
speak like a machine gun and are pride themselves on rattle perhaps can try to switch
to using an older weapon-- draw the bow  shot the arrow and draw the bow  shot
the arrow. Remain a little time to let listeners digest. Don’t worry. As long as your
words are worthy to listen, listeners will also understand your power.
- 25 -
07.你想知道發生了什麼事嗎?
小戈念中學時，有一天放學回家，竟然發現媽媽正在被一個高大的男人攻
擊，這個男人好像是小戈媽媽的上司！小戈情急之下，往這男人撲了過去，這男
人被撲倒，後腦狠狠的撞上了大理石桌的桌角，死掉了。
小戈的媽媽該怎麼做呢？兒子是為了救自己，才意外殺了人的阿。難道要檢
舉兒子殺了人？還是，幫助兒子遮掩這個殺人事件！？
這個媽媽到底後來怎麼辦呢？
小戈後來有被發現他殺了人嗎？
那個死掉的上司，都沒有家人在找他？
大部分人心中都會充滿問號，想知道後來怎麼樣了。這是人之常情，人必須
知道很多事情後來是怎麼發展又怎麼結束的，因為這就是人從原始時代開始、向
同伴們學習生存之道的方法：
「我今天遇到一隻牙齒這麼尖、滿身都是毛、比大樹還高的野獸！」穴居人
小甲說。
「後來呢？」穴居人小乙趕快問。她最好知道小甲是怎麼應付這個局面，才
活下來的，以備下次他自己遇到這類野獸的時候，他才知道該怎麼做。
勾引別人繼續聽你說話，很像連續劇勾引觀眾繼續看下去用的招式：連續劇
每次演了一段，要進廣告之前，就會讓劇中人忽然做個什麼動作，比方說，男主
角賞女主角一記耳光→進廣告；或者，女主角把盤起來的頭髮鬆開，說：「這一
個月，你都沒發現我真實的身分？」→進廣告。
人類有時候真是單純到讓人暈倒的動物，從穴居人時代開始，一直到二十一
世紀，真的已經很難沒事會在馬路上遇到一隻「比大樹還高」的野獸了，但大家
還是忍不住要知道「後來呢？」
要練習這種「懸疑式」說話，其實很方便，只要你跟朋友轉述一件事的時候，
- 26 -
美講個幾句，就稍稍停一下，看你朋友會不會問「然後哩？」「後來呢？」如果
有這樣追問，就表示你敘述事情的方法是吸引人的，但如果你停頓一下，你朋友
卻想都不想，就把話題轉去別的地方，那就表示你講得很沒意思，使得對方一點
也不在乎後來發生了什麼事。你可以找機會改個方法，把同一件事用在別的順序
在講一遍，看你朋友這次會不會問「後來呢？」
我認得一個人，他本來坐辦公室一個月的薪水大概兩萬塊，可是他後來就開
始練習，把生活中的大事小事，都盡量講的很吸引人。結果他漸漸轉行去網路上
賣地方特產了，你知道他轉行做這個之後，每個月賺多少錢嗎？恩，也許你很想
知道答案，但這件事情嘛，我暫時先說到這裡就好了。
07. Do you want to know what happens?
When little ku studied at junier high school, some day after school, he found that
his mother was attacked by the man with big and high body, and the man seemed like
little ku’s mothers’ boss. Little ku was desperated, and he beat to the man, then the
man was knocked down. The man’s brain was hit by the table’s corner, then he was
dead. What should little ku’s mother do? The son accidently killed him for me. But
should I accuse of my son kill him. Or help my son cover this kill event. What
happened with this mother then? Does little ku was found that he killed the man? As
for the dead person, does nobody of his family find him? All people were of question
of in the heart. After that everyone wanted to know what had happened. This is
natural and normal. People must know many things about happen and what end.
Because this is the method that people learn reason of life by partner from original
era:[“I meet up the monster with
taller than big tree, and has the sharp teeth and all hair with all body!” Little Ja
- 27 -
who lived in caves said. “What happen?” Little E asked quickly. He must know Little
Ja how to handle this situation to live. After he meets this kind of monster, can
know what to do. To entice others to listen to you continually, it is like the way of
seria TV opera to entice audience. Seria TV opera acts one period, before it gets into
advertising, it would do some act suddenly. For example, main actor reaches his of the
hand to main actress and then get into advertising, or main actress loosening the hair
then say : “this month, Do you never find my real status?” then get into advertising.
People sometimes is an animal easy to fall down. From living in caves era to
twelfth first century, it is really hard to meet monster which is higher than big tree.
But everybody still stops to know after that what happen? It is convenient to practice
this suspense type of talk. Just when you tell something to your friend, talk some
sentences, you should stop in a short time. Then you will see your friends ask you
and then? after that? If they ask, it means you are attractive with telling something,
but if you stop a short time, your friend will never think it then bring the topic to
others’ space, which means your talk is boring, Don’t let others care about what
happen after that at all .You can find chance to change ways, use the other orders to
say
the same thing, then you will see your friend ask you what happen? I remember
some one,he/she’s salary is twenty thousand and works at office. But after that he/she
started to practice to every big or small thing and tried to said attractively. The result
is he/she sold the special product on-line. And you know when he/she started to do
this work, how much he/she earned? Well, may be you want to know the answer, but
about thing, I just want to stop talking it here.
- 28 -
08.幽默就像走路，而說話就像翻了個筋斗
「阿拉伯數字 0，在逛街，迎面遇到也在逛街的阿拉伯數字 8，擦肩而過的
時候，數字 0 忍不住哼了一聲說：『胖就胖嘛，幹嘛把腰帶繫那麼緊！』」
這個笑話，是小戈很喜歡的笑話，每次說的時候，在座的人也都會笑。如果，
小戈說完這個笑話的時候，另外有人接著說：
「真的耶，我們上學期的生物老師，
真的很愛把腰帶勒在大肚子的正中間喔‧‧‧‧‧‧」
如果談話這樣發展，┴阿小戈說的這個笑話，就算是發揮了帶動話題的功
能，可是，很多笑話並不能帶動話題喔。不但不能帶動話題，有時候還會停止話
題。不信的話，你下次試試看在熱絡的談話中，硬生生插進去一個笑話，看看會
不會中斷熱絡的氣氛。
比方說，大家正在討論奧斯卡典禮上，女明星誰穿得最漂亮，有人說卡麥蓉‧
狄亞茲，有人說娜塔麗‧波曼，這時你忽然想起一個笑話，唯恐忘記，趕快開口
「我問你們，我問你們：
『世界上，哪一種雞，跑得最慢！？』」這時大家只好停
下來，禮貌地猜幾種雞，配合一下，然後你宣布答案：「是妮可雞，因為妮可‧
基嫚！哈哈哈‧‧‧‧‧‧」我想你應該有九成的機會，讓原本熱絡的談話，立
刻冷卻下來。
請試著了解：幽默感，跟笑話，是兩件事。
有的人講話很有趣，很吸引人，但卻很少講什麼「現成的」笑話。就像很會
煮菜的人，不會把罐頭濃湯熱一熱就端給你喝，還期望你說「真好喝」。
笑話不是萬靈丹，談話中一定需要萬靈丹的話，有趣的故事，應該會比笑話
有效果得多。
我朋友中，有幾位是台灣的原住民，他們常常講起一些因為文化差異而造成
得好笑的事，每次講出來，都讓談話變得更活潑，比方他們說：「原住民不免被
平地人影響，學了些平地人的習俗，有次，部落一位老人過世，學平地人的葬禮，
在靈前點了兩根白蠟燭，可是部落的小朋友沒看過葬禮點蠟燭的，一看到那兩根
- 29 -
白蠟燭，現場的小朋友都趕快拍著手開始唱『祝你生日快樂‧‧‧‧‧‧祝你生
日快樂‧‧‧‧‧‧』」。
這樣的故事，會帶動大家都講些在葬禮中的糗事，或者是去異地作客時遇到
的趣事，因為是很生活化的故事，而不是大家都不知道怎麼接話的罐頭笑話，當
然是比較能引起談話眾人參與的興趣。
講話幽默的人，就像走路好看的人，你跟他走在一起，會覺得很平常的走路，
也是賞心樂事。而講笑話比較像翻跟斗，翻得好不好姑且不說，但其實很少人喜
歡跟一個沒事就翻跟斗的人一起走路的。
08.Humor is just like walk and talk is just like turning a somersault.
when the number zero is shopping, it meet also shopper number eight, when they
come across each other, the number zero says: fat just fat, why has to tight the belt!
This joke is little Ku’s favorite joke. Every time he says this joke, the other people
also laugh. If little ku finishes this joke ,the other person will continue to say: “it’s
really, our biological teacher last semester who really likes to say this joke. "If the talk
is developed like this, little ku ‘s this joke has the function of bringing the talk to
continue. But, many jokes can not bring the topic of talk. It not only can not bring the
topic of talk but also stop the topic. If you don’t believe it, you can try to do a warm
talk, and you force to add a joke to see whether you can or can not stop the warm
feeling of talk. For example,Every body discusses in the Oscar, about which female
star wears most beautifully. Some one says Kamairong Diyazi, and some body says Ta
Li bo min, If this time you remember the joke suddenly, and being afraid of forgetting
then, you say quickly: I ask you ,I ask you: which chicken run slowest in the world?
This time everybody just stops to guess the answer politely and then you announce
- 30 -
that answer : the answer is Nike chicken, because Nike Kidman! Ha Ha Ha…….. I
think you have the ninety percent’s opportunity to make the warming feeling of the
talk transfer to cold right now. Humor and joke are two things. Some people are
interested to talk, and attractive, but seldom say present joke. It’s like very well to
cook person, who can not use the can of the thick soup to give you, and expect you
say it is delicious. The joke is not a wonder drug, if you must have the wonder drug in
the talking, the interesting story should be more effective than jokes. Several of my
friends, who are aborigine in Taiwan. They, always talk about something because the
difference of culture and to cause funny things. Every time when they talk, they let
the talking become lively. For example, "Aborigine was effected by live ground
people, we learn from ground people’s custom, some time, the old man is dead, we
learn the live ground’s funeral, then we drop white candle, but the tribe’s children
never see the white candle drop when someone is dead, so when they see that the
children clap the hands quickly and start to sing Happy birthday to
you ………….Happy birthday to you………… This kind of story can bring
everybody to say about the thing of losing face, or kind of funny things in the other
countries. Because not everyone knows the joke with can ,so it can bring about
interesting jokes. The humorous person, just like walking is well to see, you walk
with they and you also feel it’s happy. And telling the joke is just like turn a
somersault, however well you turn, but in fact, less people like to walk together to a
person who usually turns a somersault
- 31 -
09.再也不用擔心說話沒有深度
小戈像很多沒耐性的男生，常常聽別人講話，聽不到十分鐘，就開始恍神，
如果對方略有姿色，眼睛甚至會不由自主的飄向對方的嘴唇呀、眉毛呀、胸口呀、
小腿呀，根本沒辦法專心聽對方說話。
小戈有些男性朋友，聽別人說話時更過份，還會敷衍到連眼睛都不捨得離開
電視上的球賽轉播，或者是邊打游戲、邊假裝有在聽對方講話。如果說話的人是
女朋友，很容易因此而發火。
如果想用這麼這麼沒誠意的方法，「傾聽」女友講話，我建議你起碼要學會
「適時重覆對方句中的關鍵字眼」。
我們副總有夠誇張的，直接跟秘書搞外遇耶！」關鍵字眼有這幾個：
「副總」
「祕書」「外遇」。
雖然你眼睛仍注視著螢光幕，但如果你能夠用真誠的語氣接話：「你們副
總？」或者，「跟秘書？」或者，「外遇喔？」
那都是可以過關的接話，女友都會覺得你感興趣，會繼續往下講。
這並不費神，又不是要你捨棄球賽，關掉電腦，專注的聽她講話。你只要略
分一點聽力，勉強抓到幾個比較具體的字眼，就可以交差了，何樂而不為？
另外，有些人認為，一直保持談話的熱度很難，我的建議是：完全不必擔心
問題的深度，一律問大白話就可以！
最棒的問句，最可能激發對方繼續說下去的問句，多半是這些：
「為什麼？」
「怎麼會？」「真的喔？」「那怎麼辦？」「後來呢？」「原來是這樣！」
不信你試試。話題再怎麼高深，這些問句都夠用的。
「他的物理學論文跟本是抄的，竟然還得獎！」「怎麼會這樣？」
「冰島這個國家，早就該破產了！」「怎麼會這樣？」
「你知道奧斯卡的評選過程有多麻煩！」「真的喔，怎麼會這樣？」
「這下好啦，美國這場仗，根本打不完啦！」「真的喔？怎麼會這樣？」
- 32 -
如果你對這話題實在不感興趣，只是為了讓談話流暢的繼續下去，那這些問
句應該夠用的。
就算你很感興趣，真心的想聽對方把來龍去脈好好的分析給你聽，這些問
句，還是夠用的。
我有時在電視上，看見某些主持人，用比較高深的字眼訪問對方，得到的答
案，也沒有比較好。每個說話的人，都須要從聽話的那一方收到鼓勵，才會更方
開來往下說。只要你的反應是一種鼓勵，不管對方是多有地位，多有深度的人，
都會很受鼓舞，繼續往下說的。
你不必假裝多有深度，只要懂得欣賞別人的深度，已經是一種美德了。
09.Never worry about talking about something shallow
Little ku like many men has no patient, and usually listen to others talk, but
always listen less ten minutes and starts to be in a daze. If the other is beautiful his
eyes will see her lips,eyebrows,the middle of the chest, and legs. He can not pay
attention to listen the other. Little ku has some male friends, who listen to others in a
bad way, who also cannot get their eyes off from the ball game on the TV, or one side
is playing games and pretending they are listening to others. If the talker is girlfriend,
she is easily angry. If you want to use the method with no good faith, pay attention to
and listen to girlfriend’s talking. I suggest you that you have to express the key points
with sentence of talking. “Our Deputy general manager is too exaggerate. He and his
secretary have affairs! The key words is Deputy general manager
Secretary
Unfaithful . Although your eyes are still on the screen of TV, but if you can use the
honest tone to talk: Your Deputy general manager? or with secretary? or unfaithful?
That will be a taking everyone cannot pass. Girlfriend will think you are interesting,
- 33 -
and will continue to talk. This can not use up the spirit. It is not that you have give up
the ball games, turn off the computer, and pay attention to listening to her. You just
have to spread the little listening, and you can scratch the more concrete words, and
you can deal with her. Why not? The other thing is someone thinks it’s hard to keep
warming with talk. My suggestion that you should never worry about the deep of talk.
You just ask the simple questions. The good question can stir the other to continue to
talk. Just like ;why? how? really? I don’t know it? What happen? after that? Original
thing If you don’t know you can try. No matter how deep is the topic, these questions
are enough.His physics thesis is copy from others, why it can get rewards? What
happen? The Iceland has to bankrupt! What happen? Do you know the process with
Oscar is in big trouble. Really? Why? It is bad, the weaponry can not finish! Really?
Why? If you really feel interesting with this topic, you just want to continue the
talking and this is enough. Even if you are very interested about it. If you really want
to listen to the other say the all and analyze the thing, these questions are still enough.
Sometimes I am in the TV, and see some host used the deep words to ask the other,
then they don’t get the better answer is not better. Every talker has to get the
encourage from listener, and can say it up. Only if your response is encouraging ,no
matter whether other has a very high position they can get encouraged to continue to
talk. You don’t have to pretend to be deep just admire others depth, it is a virtue.
- 34 -
10. 初次見面,應該說什麼？
古古從念大學開始，就發現她很多同學跟別人初次見面，大都會打招乎、也
會笑, ，但就是不會主動報上名字。古古搞不懂這件事，有次忍不住問了。
「嗨，
你好，我是古古。」 「你好。」對方果然沒有報上名字。
「那請問你怎麼稱呼？」
古古耐著性子追問一句。「我不能跟你說，你就叫我「喂」就好了。」……古古
非常訝異:「為什麼度能跟我說？」
「因為我媽說，如果隨便和別人說自已的名字，
可能會被鬼抓走!」哇!真是很強的家教阿!就算愛因斯坦再世，也不能証明這事絕
對不會發生。所以，如果你有這麼擔心被鬼抓走的話，我非常同意你永遠都不要
隨便把你的名字告訴別人。喔，對了，還有，如果哪天你真的被鬼抓走的時後，
請務必拍下來寄給我們的製作人，我們節目願意播十次。
反言之，如果並不擔心被鬼抓走的話，請你反問你自已，你有沒有主動報上
名字的禮貌，如果沒有，原因是什麼？是害羞名字太老土？還是擔心說了，對方
會生氣的大罵「你幹麻跟我說你的名字拉？」
如果真的擔心對方位階太高，你報上名字會「打擾」到對方，那我建議你起
碼要做到「平等互報」，也就是說，只要對方初次見面時報了名字，你就應該也
報上你的名字，即使對方是國家元首，只要她合古古握手時說了：「你好，我是
伊莉莎白一世。」古古就應該回答：「很榮幸見到女王，我是古古。」
逼得對方必須補充多問一句：
「請問我該如何稱乎你？」這才是麻煩對方吧。
以上說的初次見面，是在光天化日之下。那如果是在燈紅酒綠的夜店裡呢？
即使在夜店我還是覺得報上名字是很大方的做法(除飛你報的是假名，再加
上給對方葬儀社的電話號碼)。不過，夜店嘛，有人醉，有人慾火焚身，有人太
「高」，有人開口想報上名字卻吐得你一身，所以，夜店的初次見面，就不要強
求什麼標準程序了拉。
至於類似跟網友的這種初次見面，我建議是可以發揮一點偵探的推理常識，
看看對方是以什麼髮型、穿著出現在你面前？是約在馬路邊，還是可以坐久一點
- 35 -
的咖啡店？還是很容易找到藉口脫身的大書店？
當然對方見到你本人之後，態度可能會起變化，地點也可能轉移，但起碼你
會對這個人的心態掌握得多一點，也比較好拿捏自已該表現的態度。
如果初次見面就約在會吃到油污滿臉的羊肉爐攤位上，那我想對方應該就只
是餓了。
你也就不用多想，順勢多吃一些吧。
10.What do you say when you see each other for the first time?
When Gugu has studied at University, he found that many classmates usually
could say hello or smile to others, but always could not say their owe name
voluntarily. Gugu didn’t Know about it, so it can’t stop Gugu to ask it.“ Hi, Hello, I’m
Gugu.” “Hello.” Just like what I thought the other person didn’t say her/his name.
Well, what’s your mane?
Gugu was very patient to ask one more. I can’t tell you, you just call me “hey”.
Gugu was very surprised. “Why can not you tell me?” “Because my mother told
me if you said owe name carelessly, you may be caught by ghost” Wo! She is a really
strong private teacher. Even if the Einstein comes back to the world again, he can’t
prove that this thing would never happen. So, if you are very worried that you will be
caught by ghost, I agree that you never say your name to others forever. Oh ! One
more thing, if you get caught by ghost some day, please must picture it and send it to
our producer, Our program will be willing to broadcast it ten times.
If you are not and you don’t worry about being caught by ghost, please ask
yourself, do you say your name voluntarily politely, if you are not, what is the reason?
Do you feel shy to feel your owe name ? Or worry if you say your name, the other
- 36 -
will be angry and reprove you that “Why do you say your name to me?”
If you worry that others position is too up, then if you say your name, you will
disturb others, and I suggest you that you have to say the name to each other equally.
While others say his/her name for the first time, you have to also say your name. Even
the president, if he/she shake hands, he/she will say “hello, I am Elizabeth.” Gugu
must have to say: “I am very happy to see queen, and I am Gugu.” You force others to
ask you one more time: Excuse me, how could I call you?” That will trouble others.
All of the above of seeing someone for three first time is in the light of the day. If
in the night of shop. Even if in the night of the shop, I still think say one’s owe name
is generous.(Only if you say the fake name, and you give the funeral society phone
number.) but, in the night shop, some one will be drunk or desire to sex, too high.
Somebody wants to say his/her
name, but he/she spits your all body. So, if you see someone for the first see time
in the night shop, you can not stress the standard steps. In the case of seeing the net
friend, I suggest that you can bring the inference sense from detective. You can see the
other’s style of hair and what is he/she wear appear behind you. Does he/she make a
date by the side of roads or the coffee shop where you can sit there long time? Or in
the bookstore that can slip away easily ? Of course after the other see you, his/her
attitude may change, the place may also transfer, but you can know more what this
person think at least, you also easily know the attitude of he/she expresses. If the first
see time you make a date at mutton stewed in herbal soup and eat greasy all face, I
think the other must be just hungry. You don’t think more, just eat more.
- 37 -
11. 康永說:自問自答，站在對方的立場來想
古古週末不想值班，想出去玩。古古想到就開口了，結果就被打槍。古古跟
同事說：
「週末你幫我值班好不好？」同事說：
「不行耶，我有事。」古古被打槍。
古古開口前，為什麼沒有先想一想？嗯，可能因為「想一想」很麻煩，不要
想比較輕鬆。可惜她想受了這三秒的輕鬆，結果她整個週末的輕鬆就泡湯了。
「週末你幫我值班好不好？」這是在交涉事情，雖然是小事，但仍是在交涉，
性質跟「貴國明年起必須每年從我國購買三十架飛機」，是一樣的事。
國際貿易的談判，雙方一定會先各自演練一番，才會比較知道談判的底限要
訂在哪裡。古古如果真的希望同事可以代替自已值班，其實也可以預先演練一下。
電影裡面，演到一個男生要第一次對一個女生開口，邀她一起出去玩時，常
會出現這個男生在家裡演練的畫面，他一人分飾二角，自問自答，神經兮兮的，
看電影的觀眾就笑了，這是有點好笑，但很有用，因為透過這樣的自問自答，你
正在訓練自已「站在對方得立場來想」的能力。
「週末你幫我值班好不好？下個月換我幫你。」多加這一句的人，就是有先
想過對方立場的人。當然，同事可能還是會回答：「不行耶，我有事。」但起碼
你不會顯得像是一個完全自我中心的討厭鬼。
如果演練之後，發現對方會有哪些招數，結果就設下陰險的陷阱，讓對方無
路可退，這樣可以嗎？
「這個週末你有沒有事呀？」古古很愉悅的問同事，害同事以為古古要相招
一起出去玩。
「我沒事呀。」同事回答。
「那拜託你幫我值班好不好？下個月換我幫你。」
嗯，古古大概會成功，因為同事掉進她的陷阱了。但同事可能會不再像以前
那樣，把古古當
「可能的朋友」看待，這是古古在人際關係上付出的代價。下次如果帳目上
- 38 -
出了小問題，同事可能會在背後捅你一刀，反正你們沒有要做朋友。
但起碼以單次交涉的成敗來看，古古是成功的請對方代班了。
被借錢借怕了的人，都會由交涉經驗中學習，如何應對別人來借錢。
「請你借我十萬。」「我的錢都交給我媽媽管耶。」
「請你借我十萬，我太太生病了。」「真糟糕，那我借你兩萬吧，我只有兩
萬能借你，我所有錢都是交給我媽媽在管的。」
「我媽媽在管」大概是很好用的說法，足以對抗「我太太生病了」這種重量
級的理由。
借到這兩萬的人，也許會因為你用「媽媽管」的說法來搪塞，而因此借到這
兩萬就再也不還你了。人跟人之間是有一本帳，只是每個人，計算的方式不同阿。
11. Kang-yong said, “Reflect yourself and stand in others’ shoes.”
Gougou didn't want to be on duty on this weekend, and he wanted to go out to
play. Gougou thought about it, then said it, but,the result was refused. Gougou said to
her colleague,"you help me to be on duty this weekend,ok? "Colleague said:" no yeah,
I have something." Gougou was refused.
Before Gougou said it, why not think about it? Well, possibly due to "think about
it" has a lot of troubles, and not to think is easier. Unfortunately, she enjoyed relax of
three seconds, as a result her whole weekends'relax was wasted. "You help me to be
on duty this weekend,ok? "This is negotiation with things, although this is a small
thing, but still in negotiation," your country must be purchased 30 aircrafts from our
country next year "is the same thing.
International trade negotiations, both sides must first walkthrough, and will know
where the bottom line of the negotiations to be set at. If Gougou really hope that
- 39 -
colleague will replace herself to be on duty, in fact, he can also advance walkthrough.
In the movie, the man first invited the woman to play outside together, usually
show he practiced at home's appearance of a picture, he played two roles by himself,
and answered his owe questions, and seemed very ditzy, the audience of watching
movie was laugh,this is a bit funny, but is useful, because through such of answer owe
questions, you in the act of train yourself's ability of think about the other's stand.
"You help me to be on duty this weekend, ok? Next month I will help you.
"person who more added this sentence are first thought of each other's positions. Of
course, colleagues may still answer: "no yeah, I have something. "But at least you
would not look like a completely egocentric pest.
If following the walkthrough, find each other what moves, as a result set a trap
insidiously , make the other person has no way to back, is that OK?
"Do you have any things to do this weekend? " Gougou very pleasant asked
colleague,let she thought Gougou will date to play together.
"I am free. "Colleague answered.
"Please help me to be on duty ok? Next month I will help you. 」
Well, Gougou probably will succeed, because colleague will fall into her trap.
But colleague may not like before, treat Kuku like real friend, which is Gougou price
to be paid on the interpersonal relationships. Next time if the accounts had smaller
problems, colleague may back you a knife, anyway, you do not have to be friends.
But at least judging from the success or failure of a single representation,
Gougou succeeded with help to be on duty from his colleague.
People were borrowed money that afraid of borrowing money, they will learn by
the representations with the experience, how to deal with the others to borrow money.
" Please lend me 100,000. "" Yeah my money is my mother in charge. 」
" Please lend me 100,000, my wife was ill. "" really bad, then let me borrow you
- 40 -
20,000, only 20,000 I can borrow you, all my money was handed over to my
mother. 」
"My mother in charge is probably a good enough to fight, "my wife is sick," this
heavy-weight reasons.
Borrow the 20,000 person who perhaps because you used "my mother in charge"
argument to stall, and therefore borrow 20,000 which will never repay you. Is
between people who have an account, but everyone calculated in different ways.
- 41 -
12.康永說：爛話題，就像默默的聞到有人放了一個屁
古古被拉去一個聚會，聚會中一個貴婦滔滔不絕地在講：「我們那個設計師
啊，光是一扇窗戶的窗簾布，就給我用掉三萬塊呢！我就問設計師怎麼那麼貴？
他就說我們家是阿曼風格，不用這個牌子的窗簾布不行的......」呱啦呱啦呱啦......
古古用眼角餘光一掠，大家都眼神放空，有的在整理髮尾，有的在舔牙縫。
古古正想找個空檔起身逃去別處透透氣，聚會的女主人正好飄過來，此時貴
婦正講到她新家玄關的地磚是從歐洲哪個老貴族的舊邸拆過來的，還是呱啦呱
啦，女主人一看勢頭不對，當下過去摟住貴婦的肩，笑著說：「王太太本來就是
最有品味，古古呀、阿女呀，你們有沒有告訴王太太你們最近發現的那個超好用
的面膜呀？」
古古和阿女抓住機會，趕快聊起了面膜，其他美眉們也都熱烈加入面膜的話
題，起碼大家都用過面膜，而且大家都是從藥妝店裡買過來的，可沒有誰的面膜
又是從歐洲哪個老貴族的舊邸挖出來的。
聽到爛話題，就像默默地聞到有人放了一個屁一樣，既不必抓住不放，也不
必追根究柢，大家面帶微笑，讓它自動消失就好。你看電視新聞的主播，前面跟
後面播報的新聞有時實在連不起來，他們也就神色自若地說一句：「接下來，為
您報導一則酒醉駕車的事件......」絕對不必擔心觀眾抱怨說：
「你剛才還在報導歐
洲下青蛙雨的事，怎麼一下又報起酒醉駕車來了？」因為人嘛，活在當下，話出
如風，談話的節奏說變就變，大可不必費心的非要找一個平滑的方式，從無趣的
話題「滑向」別的話題。乾淨俐落的直接轉彎就可以。
有不想多聊的話題，當然也就不想多聊的人物，如果在聚會中，遇到了不想
多聊的人，要如何不太明顯的「擺脫」對方呢？比較賤的招數是「嫁禍於人」，
看到場中有適合嫁禍的目標出現，就立刻熱心地拉者這個你想擺脫的人說：
「阿，
那邊那位是某某公司的大紅人，你一定要認識一下！」很熱情的拉著他去拜見新
的目標，是大紅人也罷，是鬼見愁也罷，反正就幫他們互相介紹認識，你就可以
- 42 -
脫身了。
另外，也可以「用空間換取時間」，拉著你想擺脫的人，往飲料桌或食物桌
邁進，嘴上不要忘記說：「今天他們準備了很棒的伏特加喔！」或者「你一定要
吃吃看我帶來的布朗尼！」把人帶到桌邊後，殷勤地為她拿些飲食，盡到了禮數，
也就可以靠著「走來走去」的障眼法，漸漸擺脫對方了。
不管多麼想擺脫對方，眼睛千萬不要露出冷淡的神色，怎樣都要表現出「等
一下有機會再跟你好好聊」的熱情。世事多變化，誰知人生下一回合，這個人會
扮演什麼樣的角色？就算你此刻只想躲開她，也還是可以少樹敵的，因為敵人是
最恐怖的資產，擁有越多，你死越快。
12. Kang-young said, “Bad topic is like the smell of a fart.”
Gougou pulled off to a party, gathering a Lady goes on and on: "our designers
just a window curtain fabric, just gave me out 30,000! How do I ask a designer so
expensive? He said our home is Oman style,It is unable to use this brand curtain
fabric.... ..." Quack quack quack ... ... Gougou use his corner of eyes to see , and found
that everyone 'eyes were venting, and some people were tidying up the tail, licking
her teeth.
Gougou are wanted to found a free time escape to elsewhere through breathable,
party of hostess just floating came, at this time the woman were talked about her new
home ' s floor of lobby that tiles are from European which old nobles of old house
split came of, also is quack la quack la, hostess found that the situation was wrong,
run to hold the arm with the quality woman immediately, laugh with said: "Mrs. Wang
originally is most has taste, Gougou Ah, and ANV Ah, do you have told Mrs. Wang
that you recently found of that super easy of mask Ah? 」
- 43 -
Gougou and women seize the opportunity to talk mask, immediately
enthusiastically joined mask of other topics, at least we all used the mask, and
everybody 's masks are coming from the cosmetic shop, no one's mask from which
old residence out of the old nobility of Europe.
Hear bad topics, like silently smell like someone put a fart, you do not have to
keep hold of and do not have to get to the bottom of it, everyone smile, make it go
away it is okay. You watch TV news anchor, front to back broadcasts of the news and
sometimes they even have no connection, they would be perfectly calm and collected
said one sentence: "next, reported that a drunken driving incident for you ... ..."
Absolutely don't have to worry about the audience complained: "Before you reported
frog rainning in Europe, then after reported drunk with driving? "Because people,
living in the moment, such as wind, rhythms of conversation tout changer, don't
bother not to find a smooth way, uninteresting topics" into "another topic. Neat direct
turning can be.
There is not going to go talk to the topic, of course, they don't want to talk much
character, if at the party, he met people who don't want to talk, how would you like
not-so-obvious "out" each other? More cheap trick is "shift the blame on others", see
the suitable target who in the field, immediately dedicated to who you want to get rid
of people say: "Ah, the man over there who is some company 's big famous people ,
you have to know about him! "Very enthusiastic took him to pay a formal visit to the
new target, haired boy is worth mentioning, is sorrowful to a ghost or, anyway, to help
them introduced to each other, you will be able to get away.
In addition, you can also "space for time", and you want to get rid of people, go
forward to drink or food table, just don't forget to say: "today they have prepare great
vodka Oh! "Or" you have to eat my Herman Braune! "After bringing people to the
table, gallantly took her for some diets, done its bit manner, you can also rely on"
- 44 -
walking up and down to "a cover-up operation, getting out of each other.
No matter how to get rid of each other's eyes never had a cool look, and how to
show "there is the opportunity to chat with you with enthusiasm. Life-changing, but
life for the next round, who knows who plays the what role? Even if you only wanted
to escape her at the moment, still less make enemies, because the enemy is the
terrorist assets, has the more and you die sooner.
- 45 -
13.別人讚美你一句，你就回一句讚美
節日親戚聚會，小戈遇到一個很不熟的、表妹的丈夫這類的遠親，表妹夫
位了化解不熟的場面，先開口稱讚了小戈：「哇，小戈表哥很帥阿! 長的很像金
城武!」
小戈額頭偷偷出現三條看不見的黑線，內心不出聲的獨白著：「這個表妹夫
，平常一定是個狠腳色，連這種馬屁也拍的出來…….. 我要是像金城武，無尾
熊就像長頸鹿了!」
依照小戈平常的習慣，大概會打個哈哈，類似「哪會阿，別鬧了!」這樣的
回答，就混過去了。但畢竟對方主動示好，怎樣也算是小型的「破冰之旅」呀，
小戈覺得自己也應該禮尚往來一下。小戈看著這個很不熟的表妹夫，忽然發現
這個表妹夫長的很像周杰倫，忍不住脫口而出：「我哪像金城武阿? 你吧….你
才向周杰倫呢!」
表妹夫很樂:「哈哈對呀，我從高中開始，就被人家說像周杰倫了!」
於是兩個人開始聊各自喜歡的歌手，氣氛開始熱絡了起來。
小戈從來沒也被別人說過長得像任何一個明星。小戈也真的一點都不像金
城武。但是表妹夫瞎扯的一句稱讚，卻啟發了他和對方聊天的靈感。
表妹夫為什麼用「你長的像金城武」這句話來破冰?應該是因為，表妹夫自
己老是被別人說長得像周杰倫，但他總是不太好意思初次見面就這麼冒昧的說
他自己長得像明星，所以他做了一個球給小戈，小戈接住了，那有來往的對話
就順利開始了。
有些名人說他們不想成為別人茶餘飯後打發時間的話題。我當然了解這種
心情，但很遺憾的，這本來就是做為「名人」的天職，完全沒辦法切掉這一塊說
「我不要」的。名人就跟天氣一樣，是社交談話中，最方便信手拈來的話題，名
人另一點根天氣一樣的，就是誰都可以罵兩句：「什麼鬼天氣！煩死了！」或者
「什麼狗屁明星！醜死了！」哈哈，功能很像吧？
- 46 -
別人罵你一句，你回罵他一句，這叫做吵架。別人讚美你一句，你回一句
讚美，這叫做社交。如果別人讚美你一句，你只是很禮貌的回說「謝謝。」這樣
是落落大方，也很好，不過這一招通常比較適合天下第一美女或天下第一富豪
，這類人通常常常被讚美到麻痺了。
那如果別人罵你一句，你竟然還有辦法回他一句讚美，那會發生什麼事情
呢？
我真的很少看到這個現象，如果真的發生了，我想，對方會很錯愕，而你
會立刻腦袋出現一圈光環，接著被提名諾貝爾和平獎吧！
13. When others praise you, you should praise them back
Little Ko meets a unfamiliar cousin. This cousin, in order to change the strange
atmosphere, praises Little Ko ：「Wow, you are very handsome, cousin Little Ko!
You look like Cheng Wu Chin !」
Suddenly, there are three black lines appearing on Little Ko’s forehand, and a
voice from his mind:「this cousin fawn on me as easily as pie, he might not be a
nobody….. if I looked like Cheng Wu Chin, that koalas are similar to giraffes!」
According to Little Ko’s habit, he might say:「You must be kidding.」to pass this
conversation, However, this cousin shows his kindness actively at first. Little Ko
thinks they should have mutual respect. Little Ko observs this unfamiliar cousin and
discoveries that this cousin
looks like Jay Chou, abruptly. He says :「Wow, come on,
you are putting me on. I do not look like Cheng Wu Chin, but you are really similar to
Jay Chou.」
This cousin says very happily 「
: Hr hr, a lot of friends have described me like Jay
Chou since I was a senior high school student.」
- 47 -
Then, the two guys start to share their favorite singer with each other, and the
atmosphere becomes cordial.
Little ke has never be described as any star, and he isn’t quite similar to Cheng
Wu Chin. However, he gets the inspiration to chat with the cousin, just because the
cousin whims.
Why does the cousin use「you looked like Cheng Wu Chin to start their first
conversation? Maybe the cousin is always described as Jay Chou, but he feels
embarrassed to describe himself, and little ke seizes the chance, so a conversation of
flattering each other begins.
Some of famous people say they do not want to be a subject of the talk;
unfortunately, it is famous people's vocation, and they can't cut that part of famous
people are in common with weather. It is the most convenient topic of conversation.
The other common part
between famous people and weather is they can be blamed by anybody!
What a hell weather! It is so annoying. What a bull shit star, he looks so ugly.
The quarrel is happens when some one blames you, and you blame him back; on the
other hand, if one praises you, and you praise him back, it is called social.
What will happen if some one blames you, and you prize him back?
Be honest, I seldom see this kind of condition. If it happened, I think, you may
be nominated as the winner of Nobel peace prize.
- 48 -
14. 是在鞏固友誼，還是增加彼此的冷漠?
耶誕夜，古古的手機一如往年，收到上百個祝賀聖誕快樂的簡訊，這一百
多個簡訊裡，卻只有三個簡訊有特別打上古古的名字，其他的那些，很明顯的
都是罐頭簡訊，古古對罐頭簡訊實在很沒有感覺，但人在江湖，禮貌上也就回
傳一則罐頭簡訊，祝福對方。
先把那些不能感動古古的罐頭簡訊放在一邊吧，試著想一下寫有古古名字
的那三則簡訊，在那個耶誕夜，會顯得多麼真誠感人!簡直就像三塊小金磚躺在
一整片由暗淡的罐頭簡訊鋪成的沙漠上，是多麼的閃閃發亮阿!
在簡訊裡寫上對方的名字，以目前發簡訊的步驟來說，是有點麻煩。但這
小小的麻煩，可以造成不小的差異，收到你簡訊的人，從此會把你的姓名放入
腦海，在未來的某一天，當你要請古古代為引薦某人，或者要跟古古打聽某件
事情的時候，這個簡訊所造成的差異，可能會發揮關鍵的作用。
美國有個調查，說一般人最喜歡的字，是自己姓名裡的字。我不知道這樣
的調查結果，是否也適合中文姓名？但只要你想一下，你瀏覽皆上招牌、翻閱
報紙雜時，會不會特別被自己姓名裡的字吸引？如果會，就表示這個調查結果
原則上是成立的。
人這麼喜歡自己的名字，當別人給你寫電子郵件、跟你講電話時如果三不
五時提起你的名字，你專心而且認同的程度，都會因此大大提高！(當然你也可
以用這招去對付別人，但呼喚對方名字時，請不要叫得太頻繁，不然會像在「收
驚」。
做社會運動的高手，在為弱勢族群爭取權益的時候，有個很重要的做
法，就是讓冷漠的社會大眾，認識這個弱勢族群中的某一個人：認得他的臉，
教得出他的名，一但做到這點，大眾就比較不會像原來那麼冷漠，比較會絕得
：「我知道他阿! 他受那麼大的委屈嗎? 那我不能接受，我要出點力幫他爭取權
- 49 -
益!」
這個弱勢族群也許是剛出獄的受刑人，也許是住在污染環境裡的小孩，也
許是走路兩小時才能上學的學生，反正，一旦這群人當中，有一個人在你眼中
是有面目的、有姓名的，那他的故事就比較容易打動你，他就不再只是面目一
片模糊的抽象名詞了。
下次，當你貪圖方便，想按一個鍵就發出一百則罐頭簡訊，向朋友賀節的
時候，想想對方的感受，想想你這麼做真的是在鞏固友誼嗎? 還是在增加彼此
的冷漠，同時增加電信業者的營收?
14. Do you strengthen each other’s friendship or increase each other’s coolness?
As usual, KuKu's cell phone received hundreds of messages about Merry
Christmas in the Christmas Eve. There are only three messages signed in KuKu's
name in these messages, the other messages obviously just written in normal style,
and KuKu is not interested in this kind of messages. However, because of manner, he
still sends the message back to thank them.
We ignore the messages that can’t touch KuKu's heart. We try to think the three
messages with KuKu's name. They impressed KuKu very much in the Christmas Eve.
They just look like three gold lying down the desert which is composed of messages
with normal style, what a twinkle view!
According to the steps of send message at present, it is inconvenient to type the
name which you want to send in the message. However, this step may cause a lot of
effects. If you overcome the trouble. For example, the friends who received your
message they will keep you in their mind hereafter. If you want to ask KuKu for
someone or something, the effect of that message may be the key point.
- 50 -
One of studies in the US. It shows us that the most favorite words of people are
the words of their name. I am not sure this report whether this report suits of Chinese
name? But if you try to image that, will you be fascinate by the word which in your
name while you are reading the magazines, newspapers and brow the signboards? If
you will fascinated, that proves the report is true.
If people usually mention your name, while they send you mails, talk you on the
phone, your concentration may get raised. ( Of course you can attack someone by this
method. Don't call his name too many times, or it may look like you are recovering
his spirit.)
The experts who are good at Social activities. They take an important step
while they are striving for rights and interest for underprivileged. It is When
introducing someone in that group to people, they try to get people's sympathy, then,
people may do something for that pitiful guy.
The underprivileged may be the men who are discharged from prison or a child
who lives in a pollution area, or a student who take 2 hours to walk to school,
whatever.If people recognize anyone of this group, then his or her story may touch
people’s heart easily.
Next time, before you just want to press a key to send out messages to your
friends on Christmas Eve, think about their feeling, and ask to yourself, do you really
want to strengthen the friendship or just help the “Chunghwa Telecom” to make money.
- 51 -
15. 傳達感情，不要只會說
古古跟小戈，總算試著交往了。交往了兩個月後，遇上了情人節。「會收到
什麼禮物呢?」像所有與交往對象邁向交往以來第一個情人節的女生，古古有一
點期待，也有點忐忑。
到了情人節那天，古古拿出她要送給小戈的禮物，是一支錶面上細緻刻著
小戈名字的手錶，小戈顯然沒看過錶面竟然可以刻上名字的訂製錶，露出又驚
喜又感動的表情。
輪到小戈拿出禮物了，只在小戈拿出來的，竟然是一個薄薄的信封。古古
有點不安：「他送我一封信？還是一張支票？」不管是哪樣，都可以算是很冒險
的情人節禮物呀，如果是信，信的內容跟文筆會令人貌和吧？如果是支票，支
票的金額跟含意該如何看待?
古古打開信封，很古怪，是一疊電腦列印、小戈蓋章的「古古專用禮卷」，
算一算，一共有五十二張。
「這是一年份、每個禮拜一張的禮卷，只能給你用，只能用在我身上。」
小戈說。「禮卷的用途彈性很大，可以叫我幫你剪一次腳指甲，叫我幫你買一次
宵夜，叫我一次不跟你回嘴，叫我一次陪你看哭哭啼啼的韓劇…….」
古古很感動，抱住了小戈。
「永遠愛你」很抽象，因為「永遠」是什麼，大家都沒見過。「愛你到海枯
石爛」比較具體，但「海枯石爛」其實大家也沒見過，聽了還是沒什麼感覺。「
白頭偕老」就具體多了，上了年紀的伴侶，牽著手過街，很溫暖的感覺。「五十
二張禮卷，一個禮拜用一張」，非常具體，一聽就很甜蜜。
這的確是個好的情人節禮物，因為裡面有許多心意。你若是常常說話的人
，就會發現，如果你講了「具體的事」而不是講「抽象的道理」，聽的人比較愛
聽，也比較聽的懂、記的住。
說話，無非是表達自己、打動別人。為什麼口才流利的人，有時候一點都
- 52 -
不討人喜歡？可能是因為他們講話很空洞，只在乎自己說的爽，從來不在乎聽
的人是什麼感受。聽的人，如果對你有「掌握不住」的感覺，你的山盟海誓、夸
夸其談，都只是空洞的聲音而已。想要「言之有物」的人，最好能想想所謂的「
物」是什麼？才會抓得準自己該說多少話，在什麼時候說，說完了以後要做什麼
。說得多，或者一直說，都比不上說得準，有做到。
人跟人溝通常有障礙，有時後對方就是跟你不同世界，怎樣說都不通，那
也就只能盡力而為，人生本來就是這樣子，嘗試的越多，才愈可能完成。
如果地球上只剩下你一個人，那你就用不著語言了，你愛怎麼學狗叫學豬
叫都沒差了。
本來就是為了讓你能和別人連結，語言才存在的。可惜這麼多人只顧自己
使用語言，卻不在乎別人了。我覺得語言最美的時候，就是我們透過語言、感
受到彼此互相需要的時候。
靠語言確認了彼此的存在，此時語言最美。
- 53 -
15. Actions speak louder than words
KuKu and Little Ko finally fall in love with each other. Two months later, the
Valentine’s Day is coming.「What kind of gift will I receive?」KuKu is looking
forward to it and worries just like all girls who celebrate their first Valentine’s Day.
Till the Valentine’s Day, KuKu shows up the gift which she wants to give to
Little Ko, it is a watch which is a watch engraved “Little Ko” very exquisite. Little Ko
feels very surprised and touched, because he seems like never saw this kind of watch.
It’s Little Ko turns to show up his gift to KuKu, an envelop. Kuku feels worried:
「He gives me a letter? Or a check?」 It’s a kind of risky as Valentine’s gift, no matter
whether it's a letter or a check. If It is a letter, the style of writing and the content may
make me embarrassed? If it is a check, how should I treat it?
KuKu feels strange when she opens this letter. There are many papers that on
which are printed “The gift vouchers belonging to KuKu”, totally, fifty-two papers.
「The gift vouchers could be used once a week and the expiration date is one
year. They are the only for you, and suitable for me.」 said Little Ko.「It could be used
in many ways. For example, you could ask me to cut your nails of toe、ask me to buy
a night snack to you、ask me not to retort when we are argue and ask me to watch the
Korean soap opera with you……」
KuKu is very touched, and she gives Little Ko a hug.
Honestly, it is a very good Valentine’s gift, because it’s full of Little Ko’s love. If
you are someone who often talks with people, you may feel that the listener would
like to hear「something tangible」better than「some principle intangible.」
「Love you forever」 is very intangible, because we don’t know what「forever
」 is. 「I love you until the sea runs dry and the rocks crumble」is more tangible;
however, we don’t see「the sea runs dry and the rocks crumble」either, so it's still not
- 54 -
the best way to say. 「I want to be with you for the rest of my life.」is the most
tangible. If the elder couple hold each other’s hands to cross the road, it seems very
nice and warm.「Once a week, fifty-two gift vouchers,」very tangible and sweet.
The purpose of speaking is to express oneself and get people's faith. Why can't
the people who are good at speaking sometimes get people's love? They may probably
speak many unsubstantial things, but they don't care others' feeling, and they just care
themselves. If the listeners think that you are a person who is not worthy to trust, your
solemn pledge of love is the void of voice. If you want to be a person who “ has
substance in speech”, you should think what the substance is? Then you may
understand when you should speak and how many things you should express. Action
speaks louder than words.
People always face the troubles when they are communicate. Sometimes we are
in different worlds, and we don't trust each other. All we can do is try our best. We
should shoot for the stars. The more times you try, the more possibly you will
succeed. You don't need language anymore. If you are the last person in the earth. It
doesn't matter that you want to bark like a dog.
The reason for the existence of language is connect to people and you. However,
many people ignore others' feeling, and just care about themselves. When we feel
mutually need each other through the language, it is the most wonderful moment of
language I think.
When we make sure the existence of each other by language, this is the most
beautiful moment of language.
- 55 -