DATING & MARRIAGE DATING Romance in Adolescence Dexter Dunphy described the sequence of male-female relationships: 1.Groups of friends 2.A loose association of girls and boys within a crowd 3.Small mixed-sex groups of the advanced members of the crowd 4.Formation of couples with private intimacy Though it is described, its physiological maturation that governs this sequence. DATING Same-sex Romance Sexual orientation: the direction of a person’s erotic desires; refers to whether a person is romantically attracted to people of the other sex, same sex or both. Its unknown how many adolescence are romantically oriented to people of their own sex. Reasons: • sexual orientation can be strong or weak • can be acted upon or secretive • can be unconscious Many gay youth date the other sex to hide their orientation. MARRIAGE • Adults thrive if another person is committed to their well-being. • Children benefit when they have two parents who are legally as well as emotionally dedicated to them; societies are stronger if individuals sort themselves into families. • Generally, married people are a little happier, healthier, and richer than never-married ones- but not by much. • Living apart together (LAT): when couples have a relationship but decide to live at separate addresses. • Domestic violence is more likely in the first years of a relationship. MARRIAGE Interval After Wedding Characterization First 6 months Honeymoon period-happiest of all 6 months to 5 years Happiness dips; divorce is more common now than later in marriage 5 to 10 years Happiness holds steady 10 to 20 years Happiness dips as children reach puberty 20 to 30 years Happiness rises when children leave the nest 30 to 50 years Happiness is high and steady, barring serious health problems. MARRIAGE Robert Sternberg taught that love has 3 parts: Passion Intimacy Commitment Passion is usually first , then shared confidence creates intimacy, and finally commitment leads to an enduring relationship. When all three are evident, that is consummate love-an ideal sometimes, but not always, attained in marriage. PARTNERS ○ Gay and lesbian partnerships, same sex couples and marriages ○ Almost all of the same aspects as a “traditional” marriage ○ Political and cultural views on same sex couples and marriages are changing with time Unmarried-Partner Households in the United States, 2000, 2006, 2010 2000 2006 2010 Male-Female Male-Male Female-Female Total Same-Sex 4,881,377 301,026 293,365 594,391 5,237,595 417,044 362,823 779,867 6,174,759 287,687 305,637 593,324 DIVORCE & SEPARATION ○ All relationships are affected by time and different circumstances ○ Divorce happens when at least one of the two people in the couple decides that they would be happier unmarried ○ There are factors that can make divorce or separation more likely, both before and during the marriage ♦ Divorced parents ♦ Previous divorce of either partner ♦ Financial stress ♦ Multiple kinds of abuse ♦ Etc. REPARTNERING ○ Sometimes, severed couples will attempt to establish friendships or continue to date ○ These couples oftentimes remarry ○ Remarriage can restore intimacy, health, and financial security for a couple, but does not guarantee happiness ○ Remarrying can bring new happiness, and new problems