Strong EAP
Strong EAP
WELL-U and
STRONG EAP
Coping with Work and
Family Stress
3/14/2011
Lynda Spiegel, MS. Ed., NCC
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Two Things About EAP
FREE
CONFIDENTIAL
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WHO CAN USE EAP?
Employees
Family members living in the same
household as the employee
550 White Spruce Blvd
Hours 7:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Wednesdays 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.
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What Do We Do?
Short-term counseling
Assessment-to-referral
Critical Incident Stress
Wellness Presentations
Work-Related Presentations
Healthbites
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WHO are we?
Joanne Dermady, Director
Sigrid Adler, LCSW
Anne Lenox, LMHC
Lynda Spiegel, LMHC
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Examples
Stress (i.e., depression, anxiety)
Grief
Relationships
– Co-Workers
– Family members
– Children
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 The Notebook
 The References
 Introductions
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Define Stress
Define Anger
Problem Solving
Coping Strategies
Cognitive Reframes
Relaxation techniques
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Deep Breathing
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Work/Life Balance
Can it be done?
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What is STRESS?
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What our jobs provide
• Sense of satisfaction
• Sense of purpose
• Structure
• Poor morale
• Unhappy workplace
• Pressure
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Technology
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An obstacle to our balance
We are an immediate society
Cell phones, pagers
E-mail, IM
Internet
24/7 connection
• Social networking addictions
• the 24/7 connection
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Technology isn’t alone
• Overscheduled adults
• Overscheduled kids
• We’re frazzled
• We leave work, work doesn’t leave our
thoughts
• We leave home, home doesn’t leave our
thoughts
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Environmental Stressors
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Noise
Time
Interruptions
Clientele
Co-workers
Teaching hospital
Limited space
Technology
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We’re Out of Balance
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Depressed
Anxious
Frustrated
Angry
Guilty
Poor choices
Unhealthy habits
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The Self
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Stress
1.Physical Stress
An immediate threat to our wellbeing, physically
2.Mental Stress
*Our perception of an event in
which:
We feel threatened
We experience change
We lose our sense of control
Our expectations aren’t realized
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Stress is not a person, place or
thing. It is a physical and emotional
reaction to change – whether
positive or negative. It is our
PERCEPTION of the change that
matters.
A Stressor is the actual event or
change
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Things about stress
IT DOESN’T GO AWAY
CAN BE POSITIVE
–Motivates us
OR NEGATIVE
–Leads to feelings of
disappointment, failure,
embarrassment, etc.
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Four Categories of Stress
Anticipatory Stress (Future)
Situational Stress (Present)
Chronic Stress (Ongoing)
Residual Stress (Past
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Cognitive Effects
Tunnel vision
Difficulty making decisions
Diminished ability to concentrate
Shortened attention span
Difficulty with abstract thought
Memory difficulty
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Psychological Effects
Depression
Anxiety
Burn-out
Anger
Loss of emotional control
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Behavioral Effects
Isolation
Sleep disturbance
Change in eating habits
Increase in alcohol/substance use
Irritability
Temper tantrums
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Physiological Effects
Elevated blood pressure
Elevated heart rate
Rapid breathing
Lightheadedness
Chills or sweats
Migraine headaches
IBS
Lower back pain
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Life Cycle Theory
 Most of us go through a series of
events called “life cycles”
i.e., birth, school job, marriage,
kids, kids leave, retirement, death
Stress increases at each life
transition
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Family Stress Theory
 Rueben Hill, Father of Family Stress
ABCX Theory of Stress
A factor=the stressor
B factor=the resources
C Factor=our perception
X Factor= the outcome
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Double ABCX Theory
ABCX lasted 30 years
McCubbin & Patterson
aA=“Pile-up” of stressors
bB=Layers of resources
cC=Layers of perceptions
xX=Layers of outcome
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What is Anger?
A universal, first emotion
Built into our nervous system
Anger is a way of expressing
STRESS
Two ways of Anger
Toxic anger-anger that poisons your
life and/or those around you
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Anger
When is anger a problem?
How often do you get angry?
–Not at all
–1-2 times a week
–3-5 times a week
–1-2 times a day
–3 times a day
–6-10 times a day
–10+ times a day
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Intensity of Anger
On a scale of 1-10, where are you?
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Intensity
1-3
4-6
7-10
<
1/day
Episodic
Irritation
Episodic
Anger
Episodic
>
1/day
Chronic
Irritation
Rage
Chronic Chronic
Anger Rage
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Some statistics
15 % of us have episodic rage
11 % of us have chronic anger
12 % of us have chronic rage
37 % of us have “toxic anger”
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Facts About Anger
Men v. women
Decrease with age
Impulsive and excitable
+ provocation
Cynical
Catastrophizing
Compulsiveness
Self-absorbed
Aggressive personality
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More Facts
Drugs that alter brain chemistry
Irritable
Depressed
Communication
Problem solving skills
Too stressed
Judgmental
Blame
Exhaustion
Inadequate support system
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Is Anger Poisoning Your Life?
Anger and fatigue
Anger has an immediate effect on
blood pressure
What’s your risk for heart attack?
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How At Risk for Heart Attack
are YOU?
Have you smoked cigarettes in the
last 30 days?
Do you have 2+ alcohol at one
sitting?
Has a doctor told you that you have
high blood pressure?
Are you being treated for high blood
pressure?
Has a doctor told you that you have
high cholesterol?
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Are you currently being treated for
high cholesterol?
Do you consider yourself
overweight?
Do you consider yourself obese?
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The Impact of Anger
On our health
On our career
On our relationships
On our marriage
On the health of people around us
On the self-esteem of the people
around us
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STRESS HAPPENS
What can you control?
Whose problem is it anyway?
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Move with the cheese
Use good communication skills
It’s OK to give yourself permission
to put yourself first
Create a balance
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Maintaining Daily Balance
• Take time for your health
• Give your family quality time
• Stay within your financial budget
• Enjoy a quality social life
• Stay current with new developments at
work
• Enjoy your spiritual area
Help Yourself to Balance
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Clarify your values
Make a list
Set your own rules for balance
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Use transition
time wisely
Do one thing at a time
Volunteer
Pay attention to now
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Stress Reduction vs. Stress
Management
Stress reduction-eliminates the
source of stress by taking action and
making changes.
Stress management-involves
coping, reinterpreting, reframing,
and cognitive restructuring.
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Goal of STRESS MANAGEMENT
To alter our perception and
response to our stressors (the C & X
factors)
To alter our lifestyle to be more
stress resistant (build our B factor)
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A Word of Caution
“Denial is one of the best-developed
coping mechanisms in healthcare
workers, particularly in physicians
and nurses.”
Overcoming Stress in Medical and
Nursing Practice, (Quote from
Marshall McLuhan-Communications
theorist)
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Compassion Fatigue
CF is secondary post-traumatic
stress
Common in helping professions and
first responder professions
Same symptoms, without the
primary trauma
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Are you a STRESS EATER?
You can’t change what you don’t
acknowledge
Try to link thinking-feeling-behaving
Use the Event log
If it is a long-standing issue, get
help and deal with it
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Eating and Coping
According to one study, 75% of
overeating is caused by EMOTIONS
Cortisol cravings-stress related (salt & sugar)
Social eating –bring on the HFS
Nervous eating – crave the crunch
Childhood habits
Stuffing emotions – people who can’t deal with their
emotions
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How can I de-stress?
Relaxation techniques
Problem solving skills
Communication skills
Know your perception
Cognitive reframes
Self-care tools
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Relaxation Techniques
Breathing
Muscle relaxation
Yoga
Relaxation tape
Pelvic floor exercise
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Problem Solving
The main question to ask is:
Whose problem is it?
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If it’s not your problem
And you’re making it your problem…
Someone else isn’t being responsible
What message are we sending if we take on
someone else’s problem?
Be careful of being too controlling
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If it is Your Problem
Use the 8-step problem-solving
guide
Sometimes you just have to accept
the issue
Use resources, i.e., AA, NAMI, Grief
groups
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Use Effective Communication Skills
“CUS” messages – good for the
workplace
I am concerned because________________
I am uncomfortable because_____________
This is a safety issue because ____________
“I-Messages”
I feel _____________________
When you __________________
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Perception
Is it true that perception is reality?
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If you can’t change the
situation, you must change
the way you PERCEIVE the
situation.
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What Influences Perception?
Family of origin
Place in the family
Peer group
Culture and heritage
Work
Clubs and organizations
Place in history
Neighborhoods
Values and belief systems
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Other people’s actions
We interpret other people’s
actions by how they impact
us
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Cognitive Reframes
Self-Talk
We all talk to ourselves
How do you talk to yourself?
How do you talk to others?
Negative v. positive thinkers
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Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the relationship you
have with yourself.
“No one can make you feel inferior
without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt.
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Our Thoughts
How we think impacts how we feel
If we think everything’s a big deal
If we think things need to be
perfect
If we think we need to be in charge
or dominate others
If we think people should be on
time
If we have a hard time saying
what’s on our mind
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If we think everything is an irritant
If we judge others
If we think someone has to be at
fault
IT’S TIME TO CHANGE OUR
THINKING
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How to Reframe Your
Thinking
Keep an event log
What’s the event (stressor)
What are your thoughts
What are your emotions
What is your behavior
What is the outcome
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Self-Care Tools
Set limits
Healthy life style-nutrition, sleep,
exercise
Pros v. cons list
Short-term and long-term goals
Say no, have real expectations
Keep balance in focus
Vary work and play
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Thank You!!