Chapter 11
Family & Friends
Attachment, Intimacy, & Power
Hilary M. Lips
Relationships with Family and Friends
both Reflect and Reinforce the gender
Stereotypes and Roles of a Society
Chapter 11 focuses on the ways close
relationships are experienced by men and
women and asks:
• How do women and men form same-sex
friendships, and are friendships between
women different from those between men?
• How important are cross-sex friendships?
What obstacles are there to such
friendships?
Chapter 11 focuses on the ways close
relationships are experienced by men and
women and asks:
• How do women and go about choosing,
forming, and maintaining intimate couple
relationships? How do expectations about
gender influence this process?
• How do men and women use power in their
intimate relationships?
• In what ways are the experiences of loneliness
and loss of relationships gendered?
• When intimate relationships are formalized into
legal marriage, are there different
consequences for women and men?
Chapter 11 focuses on the ways close
relationships are experienced by men and
women and asks:
•What are the differences and similarities in the
ways men and women approach
parenthood?
•We are also going to discuss the older
women and men
•&
•The end of relationships
Intimate Relationships
• Your definition of an “intimate relationship”
• “Types” of “Lifestyles”
–
–
–
–
–
…
…
…
…
...
Partner Selection
• (1) Partner Selection - Past research
– Research Studies include psychological factors
– Gender differences
– Factors may differ for selection of dating and longterm relationships
Research on Partner Selection
• Men and women generally are interested in
different aspects of relationships
– Study by Deaux & Hanna (1984)
– Reviewed 800 personal advertisements
• Male heterosexual
• Female heterosexual
• Lesbian
• Gay
• Coded for present/absent words
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
attractiveness ( )
sexuality ( )
physical characteristics ( )
financial security ( )
sincerity ( )
personality traits / hobbies ( )
occupation/demographics/photo
marriage/permanent relationship?
Results (Deux & Hanna, 1984)
• Men, in general, were concerned with objective and
physical characteristics
• Women, in general, were interested in psychological
aspects of a potential relationship
– heterosexual women - financial security, occupational
information, sincerity
– lesbian women - less interested in attractiveness - more in
interests, hobbies and their own sincerity
A study 12 years later
• Study in 1996 by Erich Goode
– Placed four fictive advertisements in magazines
and newspapers
• Beautiful waitress
• Successful, average-looking female lawyer
• Handsome cabdriver
• Successful, average-looking male lawyer
– What do you think the results were?
Results (Goode, 1996)
• The ad describing the beautiful waitress was
answered three times as often as the
successful, average-looking female lawyer
• The ad describing the successful, averagelooking male lawyer was answered about four
times as often as for the handsome cabdriver
• What does this suggest?
Further Studies
• Studies of advertisements in Canada and the
US
– Men describe their financial status
– Women more likely to ask for financial status
– Both men and women
• The ideal partner should be warm, romantic,
sensitive and have a good sense of humour
• What is the overall message from the
studies using personal advertisements?
• …
• …
• What is a possible problem with using
this research to make decisions about
gendered preferences for partners?
• …
• …
Sexual Partner/Long-term
relationship Partner
• Do people look for the same characteristics in sexual
partners and in long-term relationship partners?
– What characteristics would be important for sexual
partners?
– What characteristics would be important for longterm relationships?
• Do you think that there are gender differences here
as well?
Long-term relationships
• Common-Law
• Legal Marriage
• What are the
– similarities
– ….
– ….
– Difference
• Why legally marry then?
–…
–…
Marriage: The Intimate Economic
Partnership
• Marriage is an economic and legal partnership
• Rights and responsibilities are spelled out by the
state
• In some jurisdictions, the idea that wives are
subordinate to their husbands is still built into the
marriage contract
• Economic laws and customs regarding marriage
are often based on outdated assumptions—such
as that women and children will have a man to
provide for them
Division of Labor in Marriage
• It is no longer generally true that the
husband is the chief breadwinner and the
wife is his helpmate
• But the movement of wives into the paid
labor force has not been accompanied by
an equal shift of husband into greater
participation in housework
• Women do more housework than men in
every type of family living situation
Why does this happen?
Same sex/Lesbian
Relationships/Marriages
• Marriage now legal in Canada
• Divorce now an option
• Partners decide to marry or live in
common-law relationships
Women and Men as Parents
• Many people think women have a
“built-in” instinct for mothering
• The “motherhood mystique” and the
institutionalization of motherhood
• Whereas men rarely face a choice
between career and parenthood, that
choice is still a painful reality for most
women
What about Fathers?
• Even in dual-earner families, fathers
spend less time with their children than
mothers do
• Fathers are more likely to spend that time
playing with children; mothers are more
likely to spend it feeding, dressing,
changing, or cleaning them
• The amount of time fathers spend with
their children increases as the children
grow older
Middle and older aged men and
women
• A wide range
• Think of the older and/or elderly people that you
know
• How would you describe them? Is there a difference
for men and women?
– age
– social characteristics
– ability
– activities
– retirement
The Social Construction of Age
 The significance of age is relatively new
 A number can be objectively measured
• However, the number is relative, especially
when one applies labels such as “midlife” or
“old”
– Defining these boundaries differs depending
on their own age
 In your 20’s – middle age begins at 30
 In your 40’s – middle age begins at 50
…
– The lifespan has increased
• So – what was old age is now middle age
– Crawford & Unger
Life Expectancy
• Generally– Women
– Men
79 – 82
72 – 76
• However
– This is not universal
• WHY?
–…
–…
– ...
Double Standard of Aging
 Freud felt
 that women of 30 were unfit for analysis
because of “psychological rigidity” and “inability
to change”
 Yet, men of 30 were considered to be “youthful
and pliable”
 Today
 Examples of the ‘double standard’




…
…
…
...
 Research on aging traditionally compared people
of different chronological ages on measures of
physical health or emotional adjustment
 However, this treats age like a simple biological
variable
 But, age is also a social classification
 Organizing identity and social roles
 Age is connected to differences in
 Power
 Prestige
 Opportunities
 To the extent that age is a source of
inequality, it affects women and men (and
often the families they are part of) over and
above any biological realities
Biological and Social Factors
• Therefore, we must consider both biological and
social factors in examining the roles of middle and
older aged women
 Biological realities
– Menopause
• Unlike menstruation which...
• menopause occurs over an extended period of
time
• the experience varies for different women
– Positive … … … …
– Negative … … … …
• What about men?
•
•
•
•
•
What about men?
…
…
…
How might this affect relationships
End of Relationships
Divorce
• Why do people get divorced?
• Consequences of Divorce
–…
– ...
– Gender differences
Widowhood (widowers and widows)
– Gender differences
– Consequences and/or implications
Chapter 12
Economic &
Political Life
Power, Status & Achievement
Hilary M. Lips
© 2004 by H. Lips & W. Andrew
Differences Occur in Recognition of
Women’s and Men’s Achievements, in
Their Success in Reaching Positions of
Status and Power
Chapter 12 examines the reasons for such
differences in recognition, or success
regarding status and power and asks:
• What is the current situation with respect to
positions of power and eminence for
women and men?
• What role does motivation play in determining
high achievement and access to powerful
positions?
Chapter 12 examines the reasons for such
differences in recognition, or success
regarding status and power and asks: :
• Are the very definitions of achievement and
power gendered?
• To what extent do women and men differ in
their access to the resources on which
power is based?
• Do men and women differ in the ways they use
influence?
Chapter 12 examines the reasons for such
differences in recognition, or success
regarding status and power and asks:
• How do men and women compare in the realm
of political power?
• What role does gender play in the distribution
of power in organizations and institutions?
• How do power differences become entrenched
and self-perpetuation?
A Shortage of Women at the Top
• Women make up more than half the
world’s population, but
– They occupy relatively few positions of
political leadership
– They have won very few Nobel prizes
– They are scarce among CEOs of major
corporations
– In areas from athletics to the sciences,
women receive less recognition than men
The Power Motive
• The tendency to strive to feel that one is
having an impact on others
• Early research was conducted mainly on
men
• When women were finally studied,
researchers found they differed little from
men in the power motive and its correlates
Overview: Achievement
and Power Motives
• Women and men do not differ in achievement motivation
or power motivation under neutral conditions
• Both women and men show arousal of these motives
when the scenario or stimulus is gender-appropriate
• There is no evidence for a gender difference in “fear of
success”
Access to Resources
• Women and men differ in their access to
the resources on which power can rest:
– Gender wage gap
– “Time gap”
– Women more likely to live in poverty
– Access to political power
– Access to education
Strategies of Influence
•
•
•
•
Indirect vs. Direct
Personal vs. Concrete
Helplessness vs. Competence
What are the gender stereotypes with
respect to these dimensions?
• Do women and men really use different
influence strategies?
What if women change their style?
• Carli (1998): Participants paired with
confederates who were trained to express either
agreement or direct disagreement
• Participants increased their own disagreement if
confronted with a disagreeing partner
• BUT … this increased disagreement was more
pronounced when the partner was female
• AND … participants expressed more open
hostility to the disagreeing woman than to the
disagreeing man
© 2004 Slide Design by H. Lips & W. Andrew
Overview: Gender and Influence Strategies
• Woman and men are stereotyped as using different kinds of
influence. Men are expected to make more use of
coercion, competence, expertise, and direct
persuasion; women are expected to make more use of
sexuality and personal reward.
• Men are allowed by societal gender expectations to use a
wider range of influence strategies than women are.
• Men report using more direct influence strategies than
women do.
Overview: Gender and Influence Strategies
•Studies of actual influence behavior do not always find that
men use more direct influence strategies.
The mixed results may occur because of differences in
context or because gender and power are confounded
in some studies. Gender-role expectations can
produce initial differences in the amount of legitimate
and expert power available to women and men.
• When women violate gender expectations by trying to exert
influence using direct, competent strategies, they often
meet with disapproval and resistance, particularly from
men.
• Gender differences in power and influence can be selfperpetuating, because both women and men learn to
rely on strategies that they find comfortable and
effective.
Resources, Strategies, & Political Power
• In most democracies, women turn out to vote at
the same (or higher) rates as men
• In grassroots-level politics, women are as active
as men
• In the United States, the number of women
running for state political office declined in 2003,
after rising steadily for several decades
• How does women’s level of access to resources
affect their political participation?
Power in Organizations and
Institutions
• Access to informal networks of
communication
• Minority or token status
• Tradition and stereotypes
• Next week
• Marital or inter-partner violence
• Final exam – April 25, 2008, 2-5 PM
A-KIL – Sheraton Hall, Wycliffe College,
5 Hoskin Ave.
KIM-Z – St. Vladimir Institute,
620 Spadina Ave.,
Auditorium B (enter through south doors)