ENG 412
PROFESSIONAL ENGLISH
Writing for Business Audiences
Three-Step Writing Process
 Planning
 Writing
 Completing
What Is
Good Organization?
Clarify Subject
and Purpose
Exclude
Irrelevant Material
Group Ideas
and Use Logic
Include
Relevant Material
Why Is
Organization
Important?
Promotes
Understanding
Increases
Acceptance
Saves Your
Audience Time
Three Types of Messages
Message
Type
Audience
Reaction
Type of
Approach
Routine, Good-News
Direct
or Good Will
Pleased
Or Neutral
Bad News
Displeased
Indirect
Persuasive
Uninterested
or Unwilling
Indirect
Factors Determining Channel
Selection
 Importance of message
 Amount and speed of feedback
required
 Necessity of a permanent record
 Cost of the channel
 Degree of formality required
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Factors Determining Channel
Selection
Possible Channels:
E-mail, fax, letter, memo, report,
telephone, voice mail, meeting,
conversation, Web
• What channel is best to announce
decreased insurance benefits for
250 employees?
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Factors Determining Channel
Selection
•
What channel is best for a sales message
promoting a new product to customers?
 What channel is best for responding to similar
customer inquiries?
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Voice Mail
Electronic
Media
Teleconference
Blogs
Computer
Conference
Podcasts
E-mail
Instant
Messages
Global Communication
Websites
Speed of Information
Advantages
Time-Zone Barriers
Dispersed Audience
Electronic
Communication
Inappropriate Content
Disadvantages
Privacy Issues
Reduced Productivity
Relating to the Audience
“You”
Attitude
Positive
Tone
Credible
Image
The “You” Attitude
Instead of This
Try This
To help us process this order,
So that your order can be filled
we must ask for another copy of
promptly, please send another
the requisition.
copy of the requisition.
Instead of This
Try This
You should never use that type
That type of paper doesn’t work
of paper in the copy machine.
very well in the copy machine.
Reader Benefits
Shape your statements to involve the
reader. Try to develop the “you” attitude.
Instead of this:
We are promoting a new
plan that we believe has
many outstanding
benefits.
Try this:
You will enjoy total
peace of mind with our
affordable hospitalization plan that meets
all your needs.
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Reader Benefits
Shape your statements to involve the
reader. Try to develop the “you” attitude.
Instead of this:
Before we can allow you
to purchase items on this
new account, we must
wait two weeks to check
your credit rating.
Try this:
You may begin making
purchases on your new
account in two weeks.
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Reader Benefits
Shape your statements to involve the
reader. Try to develop the “you” attitude.
Instead of this:
I need your response
immediately so that I can
make the employee
vacation schedule by
next week.
Try this:
Your quick response
means your vacation
schedules will be ready
next week.
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Conversational Language
Instead of this:
The undersigned takes
pleasure in . . . .
Try this:
I’m happy to . . . .
Instead of this:
It may be of interest
to you to learn that
your check has been
received and your
account has been
credited for $250.
Try this:
We’ve credited your
account for $250.
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Positive Language
Instead of this:
Employees may not use
the First Street entrance
during remodeling.
Instead of this:
We cannot fill your order
until we receive an exact
model number.
Try this:
Employees may use
the Market Street
entrance during
remodeling.
Try this:
We can fill your order
once we receive an
exact model number.
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Hidden Messages
Some words and phrases may
imply a hidden message that the
writer does not intend. Think twice
before using the following negative
expressions.
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Hidden Messages
Negative Language:
You overlooked
You state that
You failed to
You claim that
You are wrong
You do not understand
Your delay
You forgot to
Hidden message:
You are careless
But I don’t believe you
You are careless
It’s probably untrue
I am right
You are not very clever
You are at fault
You are inefficient and
careless
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Try Your Skill
Revise this sentence to create a more
conversational tone and to state your
idea positively.
• The undersigned takes great pleasure in
welcoming you to our staff.
I’m happy to welcome you to our staff.
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Try Your Skill
Revise this sentence to create a more
conversational tone and to state your
idea positively.
• We cannot send your order from our
warehouse until June 1.
Your order will be on its way to you June
1.
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Try Your Skill
Revise this sentence to create reader
benefits.
• I have 15 different financial plans to
offer my investors.
You have 15 different financial plans
from which to choose.
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Familiar Words
Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar words.
Use short, simple, and common words
whenever possible.
Less familiar words:
encounter
extrapolate
obligatory
terminate
Simple alternatives:
meet
project
required
end
23
Try Your Skill
Revise this sentence using simpler
language.
• You may encounter difficulties in terminating
the contract.
You may meet difficulties in ending the
contract.
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Try Your Skill
Revise this sentence using simpler
language.
• As stipulated, we extrapolated the budget
figures for two years.
As required, we projected the budget figures
for two years.
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Try Your Skill
Revise this sentence using simpler
language.
• Will you utilize workbooks during the
obligatory training period?
Will you use workbooks during the required
training period?
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Try Your Skill
Revise this sentence using simpler
language.
• We anticipate that a majority of the
alternatives will be fundamental enough to
meet our requirements.
We expect that most of the choices will be
basic enough to meet our needs.
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Revising and Editing Business Messages
Evaluating Content




Is the information accurate?
Is the information relevant?
Is there enough information?
Are generalities balanced with specific
information?
Evaluating Organization
 Are all points covered logically?
 Do important ideas receive sufficient space
and are they placed properly?
 Could the message be arranged in a more
convincing sequence?
 Are any points repeated unnecessarily?
 Are details grouped together logically?
Evaluating Style and Tone
 Does the writing meet the audience’s
expectations?
 Is the writing too formal or academic?
 Is the writing too casual?
 Does the message focus on the
audience’s needs?
Revising and Proofreading
Revising:
Proofreading:
Improving content and
sentence structure. May
involve adding, cutting,
rewriting.
Correcting grammar,
spelling, punctuation and
format
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What to Watch for in Proofreading
Spelling
Grammar
Punctuation
Names and numbers
Format
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Proofreading Advice
Check several times
Use perceptual tricks
Double-check high-priority items
Get some distance
Stay focused and alert
Review complex electronic documents on
paper
 Take your time
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Revising with Technology
 Revision tools
 Spell checker
 Grammar checker
 Thesaurus
 Style checker