Home Responsibilities
For a child, assuming responsibilities in the home allows the child to view himself as a person who is
capable of making a contribution to others. Growth in this area is best acquired developmentally,
whereby the child becomes useful and needed at an early age, with the expectation of becoming
more self-reliant and independent. Having a role in the family gives children a sense of belonging and
ownership.
Often adults feel hurried and send a child away when he is asking to help or contribute. When we
send them away—outside to play or placed in front of a television—we lose precious opportunities to
foster their sense of belonging and contribution. Imagine starting a new job, full of enthusiasm, and
your boss patting you on the head and saying, “I’m too busy right now. Keep yourself amused and
we’ll call you when it’s lunchtime. Remember to stay out of the way. “
Before training a child in how to perform the following duties keep these principles in mind:
1. Children have rights as well as responsibilities. If their rights are arbitrarily or impulsively
withdrawn by the adult the child will feel dominated or revengeful and will resist any efforts to
elicit his cooperation with responsibilities.
2. Children should be consulted about the jobs that need to be done. After they have helped to
identify the work they should be involved in setting the standards for the work and the
evaluation of a completed job.
3. Allow the child choices in which jobs to complete. Not doing anything is NOT a choice. They
must then follow through with the job or experience the consequences.
4. Allow the consequences to follow logically from the uncompleted job. (For example, if you
leave the wet towel in a lump on the floor after your bath, it’s still wet the next time you wish to
use it.)
5. Vary the tasks. Children like the challenge of a new or harder task.
6. Remember you are a model of order for your child. Do not expect cleanliness or orderliness
from them that you do not expect out of yourself.
7. Learn to accept that your house is a place of work and communication not a reflection of your
personal worth.
8. Never do anything for the child that he is capable of doing for himself.
The following list is intended to help guide this process. The list is cumulative. As the child progresses
they can maintain responsibilities while adding new ones. This list is intended as a starting point for
responsibilities your child can assume within your home. Your particular home environment may
provide alternate responsibilities that the child can assume.
Home Responsibilities for Two to Three Year Olds:
1. Put away tools and toys in proper places
2. Put books and magazines in a rack or on a shelf
3. Sweep the floor
4. Place napkins and silverware on the table
5. Clean up dropped food when eating
6. Make a choice of two foods for breakfast
7. Put own dishes on counter or in the dishwasher after clearing leftovers into trash
8. Toilet learning
9. Beginning to brush own teeth and hair
10. Wash and dry hands
11. Undressed self; dresses self with some assistance
12. Wipes up own spills
13. Puts food away from grocery onto lower shelves
Home Responsibilities for Three to Four Year Olds:
1. Setting the table with plates and glasses
2. Help with compiling the grocery list and shopping
3. Follow a schedule for feeding pets
4. Help with yard and garden work (pull weeds, water, plant)
5. Make their bed
6. Vacuum
7. Help wash and dry dishes; put dishes away from dishwasher
8. Dust furniture and pictures with feather duster or cloth
9. Spread butters, jams or softened cream cheese onto sandwiches or bagels
10. Pour own drink from small pitcher
11. Serve self from family bowls of food and/or help prepare plates for meals
12. Make a simple dessert (jello, toppings on ice cream, mix fruit for fruit salad, etc.)
13. Hold the hand mixer when preparing batters, whipped potatoes, etc.
14. Get the mail
15. Should be able to play without constant adult supervision
16. Takes turns with toys to practice courtesy
17. Fold and put away laundry
18. Prepare cold cereal
19. Pick out own clothes and dress self
Home Responsibilities for Four to Five Year Olds:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Help plan family meals and decide what needs to be added to the grocery list
Make own sandwich and simple breakfasts, clean up after self
Tear up lettuce for salads, wash/peel/chop/slice vegetables and fruit
Measure and pour ingredients for a recipe
Clean room
Scrubbing the sink, toilet and bathtub
7. Cleaning mirrors and windows
8. Separating laundry by colors; pouring in soap and putting laundry in washer; transferring laundry to
dryer
9. Answer and dial phone correctly
10. Paying for small purchases
11. Help cleaning out the car
12. Learn to tie shoes and help others with task
13. Cleaning up after pets
14. Help make family entertainment decisions
15. Wash own body in bathtub
Home Responsibilities for Five to Six Year Olds:
1. Choose appropriate clothing and outerwear for weather
2. Cook simple foods (toast, boiled eggs, pastas/noodles, hot chocolate, oatmeal, rice)
3. Prepare own lunch/snacks for school, picnics and another outings
4. Hang clothes in closet on hangers
5. Gather wood for fireplace
6. Rake leaves
7. Responsible for minor injuries (basic first aid of washing and applying bandage)
8. Straighten and clean out silverware drawer
9. Wash own hair
10. Flossing teeth
Home Responsibilities for Six Year Olds and Beyond:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Scrub pots and pans
Clean off, wash and dry countertops in bathroom and kitchen
Sweep, mop, and vacuum floors
Sew on buttons, mend tears
Iron clothes
Mow the lawn (age will depend on child’s maturity, lawn size and type of mower)
Earn spending money of their own by doing additional chores
Writing their own thank you notes
Valuable Experiences and Skills for Elementary Students
1. Preserving food: canning, drying
2. Planning, shopping, and preparing a meal for guests
3. Sewing and knitting: making clothes
4. Simple carpentry
5. Swimming
6. Canoeing
7. Fishing
8. Pitching a tent
9. Animal training
10. Map reading: finding one’s way around town
11. Reading a compass
12. Typing
13. How to use a public library
14. Physical fitness and exercise: keeping in shape
15. Photography and video recording
16. Conducting a garage sale or small business (lemonade stand, bake sale, etc.)
17. Building a tree house, fort or other structure
18. Polishing silver
Expectations Particular to Outdoor Environments:
The following are suggestions for responsibilities the child can have outdoors as well as general suggestions
on how the outdoors should be used by the young child.
1. Allow your child freedom and time to be in nature and balance that time with being with your child.
2. Show your child how to turn on the water, connect a hose and use a sprayer. Also provide a watering
can for watering flowers, shrubs and trees.
3. A child needs REAL tools. Plastic shovels, rakes, etc., do not get the job done or provide the deep
pressure sensations their bodies need. Children should have child sized shovels, rakes, hand trowels
and brooms. If possible, a child sized wheelbarrow added delight. Walmart, Melodies, and Dilly-Dallies
all sell child sized real tools.
4. Allow a child to dig and fill, dig and fill, dig and fill. (The perfect lawn can come later.)
a. Consider having a berm. The child will spend weeks, months and perhaps years digging holes.
Later when digging passes grass will grow and it can be used as an accent to your landscape.
5. Plant a garden or patch of flowers that your child can tend.
6. Provide safe risks. Allow the child to climb higher, jump farther and get dirtier. (Remember both child
and clothing can be washed. Provide lots of clothing that you, the parent, will not be concerned with
getting smudged or painted or sandy or torn—these should be considered “badges of honor” in the life
of a nature child.)
7. Allow your child to build forts, dig holes and pitfalls, mix up mud, catch tadpoles and crawdads, worm
and fossil hunt, and investigate insect and critter habitats.
8. Spend time hiking and exploring together. A few local suggestions are:
a. Lake Bella Vista and caves along the trail
b. Hobbs State Management Area (out Hwy. 12 past Rogers)
c. Tanyard Creek in Bella Vista
d. Bentonville Trail System
e. Park Springs Park in Bentonville (several nice trails and a creek)
f. Lake Atalanta in Rogers
g. Devil’s Den south of Fayetteville (hiking, caving, canoeing and paddle boats)