The Social Construction of Intimacy
Heterosexual Courtship & Mate Selection
• Social & cultural changes have increased the importance of intimate relationships
• Decline of community, kin, & parental influence in “mate selection”, “dating”, “hanging out”,
“hooking up”, “online dating”
– Increased individuality
Variations in Dating Practices
• Gender – traditional gender role expectations still structure interactions
– “modified” sexual double standard
• Class – dating and courtship patterns vary by social class
– The higher the family’s social class, the more control parents have over children’s dating
activities
• Race – interracial relationships are likely to form in integrated settings (military, universities,
metropolitan areas)
– Interracial dating more acceptable to younger individuals
– No significant differences in relationship quality (as compared to intraracial relationships)
Factors in Mate Selection
• Legal restrictions and social expectations of peers, family, neighbors, others in community narrow
the choices of potential spouses
• Homogamy – people tend to date & mate within their class, race, ethnicity, religion, & educational
level (regardless of sexual orientation, most want a mate with traits similar to their own)
Structural Influences on Mate Selection
• Availability of marriageable partners
• Imbalances in the numbers of women & men (sex ratio)
• Individual’s’ varied affiliations with different groups
• People who marry outside their group have multiple & interwoven group affiliations
• Schools & colleges narrow the choice of eligible partners in terms of social class
• Within a given college, fraternities & sororities contribute to intraclass patterns of courtship &
marriage
• When intraclass pattern is broken, it is generally by women who marry men of higher status
Changing Sexual Behavior
Society and Sexuality
•
Sexuality exhibits great variability across time, space, and the life course.
•
Sexuality is socially controlled and closely bound up with race, class, and gender.
•
Sexuality has several dimensions
• Physical (behavior)
• Psychological (knowledge and attitudes)
• Social (norms and values)
•
Religion
• Main source of sexual information for most of human history
• Provide norms & values which influence individual attitudes & behaviors
• Correlation between religiosity& sexual variance, permissiveness
•
Media
• Most influential source of sexual information for contemporary Americans
• Most frequent portrayal is heterosexual intercourse between unmarried partners - safe sex
is rare
• 3 types of influence: mainstreaming, agenda-setting, social learning
Enlarging the Sexuality Frame
• Sexual orientation is defined by whom we are attracted to and have the potential for loving.
• erotic and emotional orientation toward one’s own gender, the opposite gender
• Sexual identity refers to one’s self-label or self-identification as heterosexual, homosexual, or
bisexual.
• Mutually exclusive categories (gay or straight) are meaningless
• Current research about the causes of homosexuality (biological or social) is inconclusive, although
research on genetic & prenatal factors is promising
• We do not know what causes sexual orientation.
• Unlike gender identity which is determined in childhood, sexual identity (and orientation)
continues to evolve into adulthood for some people.
• There is probably not a single cause of homosexuality, but rather many causes.
• It would be more productive to look for the causes of exclusive homosexuality and exclusive
heterosexuality. (Why isn’t everyone bisexual?)
Sexual Revolution
• From a family-centered reproductive system in colonial days, to romantic sexuality in the 19th
century, to modern sexuality with sexual relations as a source of happiness and personal identity
by the 1920s
• Shift in attitudes & behaviors over time (sexual “revolution” or “evolution” ?)
• masturbation, premarital sex, alternative behaviors & orientation, nudity, double standard, sex &
romance, sexuality education
• Reasons for change
• changing gender roles, later marriage, increased leisure time & affluence, sexual research,
access to contraception, AIDS
• Contemporary sexual standards
• prevailing cultural values are expressed in norms which tell us how we are “supposed” to feel &
act sexually
• heterosexual
• coital (coitus means sexual intercourse)
• orgasmic
• two-person
• romantic
• safe sex
Scientific Research on Sexuality
• Kinsey Reports (1948 & 1953)
• Large scale survey, but weak sampling method
• Excellent interviewing techniques, high test-retest reliability
• National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS)
• Best sex survey of general population in the U.S. (good sampling and interview methods, met all
ethical standards, most comprehensive & representative)
• Political interference with funding
• Focus on sexuality in social context: people’s sexual choices are shaped by social networks in
which they interact
• Major findings
• Adultery is relatively uncommon (25% of men, 15% of women)
• Incidence of homosexuality is lower than the 10% reported by Kinsey
• Married couples have the most sex, enjoy it the most, & are most likely to experience
orgasms
•Global Study of Sexual Attitudes & Behaviors
•Sexual satisfaction highest in societies with greater gender equality
AIDS
• Since 2001, the annual number of new AIDS cases has increased each year
• Although most new cases are among men, there has been a disproportionate increase among
African American and Hispanic American men, women, and children (caused by poverty,
inadequate health care, and lack of safe sex information)
Teen Sexuality
• Rates of adolescent intercourse peaked about 1990 & have been declining since
• Currently about ½ of high school students are sexually active & about 2/3 have had sexual
intercourse by the time they finish high school
• First intercourse occurring at younger age (average = ~17 years old)
• Ethnic variation: lowest for African Americans
• Other social factors
• Family status, mother’s education, church attendance
• Age, alcohol, g.p.a., lack of supervision
• Conflict between behavior & attitudes reflects pressure to have sex
• Increasing incidence of other behaviors (oral sex)
• “Abstinence-only” sexuality education programs are NOT effective in delaying first intercourse,
reducing frequency of sex and number of partners, or increasing safe sex practices
• 88% of those who take “virginity pledge” engage in premarital sex
Teenage Childbearing
• U.S. has highest rate of adolescent pregnancy among western industrialized nations. However,
better use of contraception has resulted in a decline since 1991.
• Teenage birth rates are related to changes involving race, gender, age, & poverty.
• Highest for Latinos, African Americans, Native Americans
Differentiated Forms of Intimacy
Gendered Love & Sex
•
His & her sex
• Masturbation
• Attitudes about casual sex
• Arousal to erotica ??
• Orgasm consistency
• Sex drive
• Differences over the lifespan (culturally, not biologically determined)
• Peak of sexual interest, intensity, response: males in their twenties and declines: females in
their thirties and maintain plateau
• “Person-centered” vs. “body centered” sex
• Dealing with issues of sexual orientation and defining one’s sexual identity seems to be more
difficult for males than females
•
His & her love
• Women and men want and expect different things from their intimate heterosexual
relationships. The model for male sexuality stresses performance while the female model
stresses the emotional relationship.
• The expectations and styles of love vary by gender.
• “Romantic” vs “realistic” view of relationships (Is love a “noun” or “verb”?)
Same-Sex Orientation and Intimacy
• U.S. Supreme Court struck down state laws making homosexual behavior a crime in 2003.
• Broad social support networks are missing for gay and lesbian couples.
• Generally, homosexuals do the same things sexually that heterosexuals do.
• Lesbian and gay relationships are very similar to straight relationships
• Most in steady relationships, dealing with same adjustment issues, no difference in frequency of
sex
• Lesbians and gays seem to be as well adjusted psychologically as straights
• Remarkable considering antigay prejudice in society
• Gender plays an important part in intimate relationships, whether heterosexual or gay.
• Attitudes about love & sex similar for most women and for most men
Social Class & Intimacy
• Correlation between social class & sexual variance, permissiveness
• Correlation between educational level & sexual variance, permissiveness
Love & social class
 While most people uphold the ideology of love, there are class differences in resources to sustain
that ideal.
Race & Intimacy
 Racial stereotypes often used to define sexuality of racial minorities as different from Whites
 Correlation between race/ethnicity & sexual variance, permissiveness
Claiming Control of Intimacy
 Human agency is important in creating new patterns of intimacy