The Early Years Opportunity: Skills for Life
and Learning - Executive Function and
Self-Regulation - Hosting Notes
1. Parents and caregivers will have the opportunity to
examine and share ideas about the building of a strong
brain foundation during the early years of a child’s life.
The goal of Parent Café: The Early Years is: To build awareness and capacity of parents
and caregivers in support of early childhood development. The conversation will
provide an opportunity to:
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reaffirm the key role of parents and caregivers along with the broader
community in supporting child development.
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share and learn together to strengthen awareness and understanding of “the
core story” and early childhood development.
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foster relationships, connections and mutual support among families,
communities and service providers.
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validate the current knowledge and capacity of parents and caregivers.
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highlight and share all available resources and supports.
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support capacity building and inspire further action.
2. Welcome and Introductions
Welcome!
The fact that you’re here shows you love and care for your child…
Welcome parents and commend them on taking the time for the conversations. Parenthood is
a journey we can share, a time of learning and discovery. Once again, invite parents to be
active participants in this opportunity to reflect and learn from one another.
Explore:
What were the new things that you tried since our last conversation? How did that go?
Were your goals realistic?
What supports/resources that might help?
Suggestions:
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Commend participants on their efforts to learn and try something new.
Make a point of letting all parents be heard.
Validate parents’ efforts and commitment to their child by being here.
Emphasize the shared interest among the group in their children – talking with
other adults offers a great support and chance to share knowledge and experience.
Consider the wealth of knowledge and experience that the group possesses! Allow
the group to problem solve together.
3. For you, what was most important about our last conversation?
Did you share anything with another parent or caregiver?
Creating a summary of key points from the last discussion is an opportunity to clarify
questions, reinforce key points and summarize for parents that weren’t part of the first
discussion. Suggestions:
 What made the biggest impression? What sparked you to try something new? Did
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you have the chance to share this information with others?
Collecting the ideas that parents felt were most important as well as ways that they
have integrated ideas and responded can spark further discussion and exchange.
Recording these ideas can be helpful for further reflection and is very important for
monitoring the impact of the conversations.
The previous conversation highlighted the importance of supporting a healthy environment
for development, with discussion that included:
 The impacts of stress on the developing child (positive, tolerable and toxic).
 The buffering impact of a consistent caregiver to protect a child from the negative
impacts of toxic stress.
 Strategies to minimize and moderate stress for parents and children.
 The importance of play for learning and development!
 An exploration of the joys and challenges of parenting, with reflection on how
parents might share their gifts and talents with their children.
You may want to review the short video, particularly if there were parents that were not at
the first conversation Toxic stress Derails Healthy Development , from the Centre on
the Developing Child, Harvard University. In summary, key points from this video focus on
the importance of environment and impact of stress on development. :
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Some stress is a normal part of life!
“Positive stress”, or minor, short-lived stress events, like meeting new people, is a part
of healthy development. Children learn to moderate and deal with stress through these
experiences.
High levels of prolonged stress without a loving caregiver can be “toxic” and derail
healthy development, leaving a child with:
 changes in brain architecture.
 permanent “signatures” on genes.
 a more reactive stress response system
 increased lifelong risk of developing physical and mental health struggles,
including addiction.
 children are less likely to explore, practice and learn new skills.
 Positive care-giving can protect and buffer a child from the impacts of stress.
Even a traumatic life event, like a death in the family, doesn’t leave a lasting
impact on the developing brain when a child is supported and nurtured by a
consistent caregiver. Researchers call this “tolerable stress”.
4. Conversation Overview
Introduce the topic of Skills for Life and Learning: Executive Function and Self-Regulation,
perhaps sharing the kinds of questions and how the conversation might flow from the
overview.
The conversation guide is offered with questions in a numbered, ordered series
only as a suggested flow to the conversation (see below). Conversations are best when
they are allowed to be organic. The suggestions are provided as a tool for the host keep the
conversation flowing and to offer quality resources when participants wish to explore topics
further.
Are there particular questions about early years development you would like to
discuss?
Make a point of asking if there are any burning questions around early development that
participants would like to discuss. Recording questions on flipchart/blackboard/newsprint on
table, creating a “parking lot” for questions, allows the host to check back in with parents to
make sure they had a chance to discuss or address topics of interest. Depending on your
group and nature of the questions you may choose to “park” particular questions into future
conversations.
5. Thinking ahead … What skills do you think your child will need to be
ready for kindergarten?
While our first reaction to what children need to be best prepared for kindergarten might be
to know their letters and be able to tie their shoes, the abilities that they will need to
function, learn and flourish in the school environment are much broader than that.
There are some key foundational skills that children will need to begin kindergarten:
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Attention
Ability to follow directions, routines and rules.
Listen to the teacher.
Cooperate with other children.
Work independently.
Explore:
Reflect on the general abilities that you have needed to for both school and the workplace?
Have parents reflect on the general abilities that they have needed to succeed in both school
and the workplace. Parents may identify skills that helped them at school and in the
workplace:
 Independence
 Flexibility and problem solving
 Ability to listen to others opinions but make my own decisions
 Creativity and adaptability
 Persistence
 Motivation
 Exploration
These abilities have their foundational in the early years and develop over time.
Explore:
Alberta Education’s Inspiring Action: Competencies of an Educated Albertan
(in the 21stCentury).
Recommended resource:
Alberta Education’s Inspiring Action: Competencies of an Educated Albertan
(in the 21stCentury).
6. Explore together Executive Function: Skills for life and learning ,
Center on the Developing Child
OR
Building Better Brains: Executive Function, Alberta Family Wellness
Explore:
Why is it so important for a child to begin to develop their “air traffic control
system”?
The pre-frontal cortex of the brain is an area that does not fully mature until early adulthood
though important foundational learning begins in early childhood. The critical set of skills that
develop in this part of the brain, known as self-regulation and executive function, are like the
air-traffic control system at a busy airport.
A child’s “air traffic control system”, self-regulation and executive function skills allows them
to:
 focus and pay attention and regulate the flow of information (inhibitor/self control)
 remember mental tasks, create mental priorities and follow rules (working memory)
 make and revise plans and decisions (cognitive/mental flexibility)
 avoid “collisions” through hasty actions.
It is hard to separate these abilities as you really need all three, working together!
“These skills enable a child to take initiative but also to comply; be emotionally expressive,
but also to regulate expression; to sustain attention and stay focused but also to run and
play; to interact socially with other children and adults and to become conscientious.”
- Dr. Clancy Blair
Providing the biological foundation for future social behavior and learning, executive function
and self regulation will impact all realms of development.
 Children will function better in school, from kindergarten and beyond.
 While the frontal lobe of the brain responsible for these skills develops into
adulthood, foundational skills are learned from infancy into early childhood.
 This area of development seems to be profoundly susceptible to the impacts of
toxic stress – in high stress situations children as young as two are falling behind.
 Lags in this area are associated with long term struggles, including poor
relationships with peers, challenges at school and in the workplace and even
addiction.
 Innovative programs have been successful teaching and remediating these skills.
“Qualities essential for the 21st century workplace all build from these skills… creativity,
flexibility, self-control and discipline all have their origins in executive function.”
Suggested additional resource:
From the Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University:
In Brief: Executive Function: Skills for Life and Learning ; Key Concepts: Executive Function
Building the Brain’s “Air Traffic Control System”: How Early Experience Shape the
Development of Executive Function
Wired for Learning, Dr. Clancy Blair, The Urban Child Institute
7. How can you support your child as they begin to develop these
essential skills?
“As essential as they are, we aren’t born with the skills that enable us to control impulses,
make plans, and stay focused. We are born with the potential to develop these capacities—or
not—depending on our experiences during in-fancy, throughout childhood, and into
adolescence.”
– Centre on the Developing Child, Harvard University
Parents support development of executive function and self-regulation through:
 Modeling these skills of reflective rather ran reactive response in your day to day
interactions: pause, breath and reflect before responding when frustrated; express
emotions verbally; model planning and deliberate behavior (i.e. write a grocery list)
 Care-giving: sensitive and responsive interactions, responding to the individual
child, supporting emotional regulation, promoting joint attention, valuing
persistence and completion.
 Ordered and predictable environments with clear limits and expectations:
establishing daily routines and planning; making time for physical exercise; limiting
and moderating stress, distractions and technology.
 Supporting the child in the gradual transition from being dependent on
adults, to relying on their own skills: using supports like routines, cues, breaking
down instructions, letting the child know what to expect and what comes next
 Opportunities to practice: experiences with give-and-take interactions with
others; opportunities for the child to direct their own activities; self-directed play
that promotes planning and problem solving (i.e. make believe play); opportunity
to deal with frustration and learn self-control; playing games and enjoying activities
that “pull” on these skills.
The process of moving from becoming ‘other-regulated’ to ‘self-regulated” develops over a
long period of time. Having developmentally appropriate expectations helps to find the child’s
zone of challenge rather than frustration.
Tools of the Mind, inspired by the work of Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky, is a research-
based early childhood program that has been shown to be effective in promoting executive
function, building strong foundations for school success, and promoting intentional and selfregulated learning in preschool- and kindergarten-aged children.
Suggested Additional Resources:
From the Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University:
Enhancing and Practicing Executive Function Skills with Children From Infancy to Adolescence
Includes background information along with developmental guidelines, and games and
activities for specific age groups.
What Parents Need To Know About Supporting Self-Regulation, Tools of the Mind
Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs, Ellen Galinsky.
Also see: www.mindinthemaking.org/ for resources to download.
8. What experiences, activities and games allow children to practice
these essential skills?
Explore:
“Play is important to learning and provides an environment where children can
work together to solve a problem.”
Just like any other area of learning and brain development, this set of skills doesn’t just
appear with time, but must be learned and developed through experiences and opportunities
to practice.
Activities and experiences that support the development of these essential skills…
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Self-directed time to explore and discover
Household chores and responsibilities - This might require a child to stop doing
what they want to do, and to start doing something they don’t want to do.
Reading and oral story telling
Games with rules, directions and turn taking, that require attention and self control
like:
- Freeze tag, moving to the beat of music, Simon says
- Memory games
Make believe play
Incorporating any opportunities to plan, focus, direct, remember, problem solve and adapt
into your day can model and help to contribute to developing these essential skills. As these
skills develop slowly over time the importance of understanding what stage a child is at in
order to set reasonable expectations and then offering appropriate opportunities that will
challenge but not frustrate both the caregiver and your child needs to be stressed.
Suggested Additional Resources:
From the Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University:
Enhancing and Practicing Executive Function Skills with Children From Infancy to Adolescence
Includes background information along with developmental guidelines, and games and
activities for specific age groups.
Supporting Make-Believe Play at Home , Tools of the Mind:
Mind in the Making Prescriptions for Learning – Strategies to move from managing behavior
to promoting life skills
Kindergarten Readiness Study Games – Red light, Purple light, Idaho Department of Health
9. As we close our conversation…
We know children can’t do this on their own!
Who are the people, places and resources that can help to support us
and our children?
It really does take a village to raise a child. There are great resources and many ways to
access them here in our communities.
Quality resources for parents, caregivers and children include:
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Parent Link Centres
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Parenting programs, including Circle of Security
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Family, friends and neighbors
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Alberta Health Services
- Family physicians / Pediatricians
- Community Health Centres
- Healthy Parents – Healthy Children
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Calgary Public Library
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Local preschools and playgroups
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Community associations
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Alberta Family Wellness Initiative
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Harvard Centre on the Developing Child
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… and many more
Explore:
Where can you go to find out more about local supports and resources?
Many of the resources above can direct you to additional supports. Some other places to find
out more include:
 First 2000 Days - Calgary citywide early childhood coalition
 Inform Alberta
 311
 Early Child Development Mapping Project Alberta
 Others?…
These are all people and places that can help to build the relationships that make up ‘social
capital’, a key indicator of success. The value of both formal and informal social supports in
promoting development is well established.
“What we know now is that these first years are more important than we ever thought. As
individuals, families, communities and as a government we all have a stake in ensuring
healthy early childhood development for Alberta children.”
Let’s Talk About the Early Years, Alberta Health and Wellness, Office of the Chief Medical Officer for Health
Access these and other quality resources with the consolidated listing provided in
Parent Cafe’s Early Years Resources handout or resource link.
10. After our discussion today, what will you try that is new?
Have you set a goal?
Explore:
Are there other resources and supports that might help you to reach your goal?
“It takes a village to raise a child.”
Remember we are all part of the “village”. You could consider roles in family, community and
workplace, and how we can work together to “raise the village.”
See Let’s Talk About the Early Years, pages 71-73
Great ideas from parents:
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Share some of what I learned with other parents at playgroup
Involve my child in planning events and shopping
Explore local resources for information and programs.
Others?
Reminder: provide any follow up information requested and remind participants of any
further conversations.
Suggestion:
If this is to be the last conversation for your group, ensure to thank all the participants for
their contributions, and commend them on the work they have done to learn more about
their important role supporting children to reach their developmental potential.
You might want to summarize key learnings from the series of conversations.
Please ensure that you have participants complete the evaluation. We appreciate
and value their feedback. Input will be used to inform our work to improve this resource.