Modesty
There is a lot to be said of modesty, it is not only the way we dress, but
how we conduct ourselves in all aspects of our lives in speech and in actions.
According to tradition, learning to be modest starts in the home. It ranges from
all relationships we have both in the home and in the world. It does not mean
we are to present ourselves as being prudish, but to present ourselves in a way
which is pleasing to our heavenly Father. We are to model ourselves after our
Messiah Yeshua. Parents should not dress provocatively in front of their children
and visa verse. Children should respect their parents’ bedroom as their private
domain and as the parents should respect their children’s privacy as teen-agers
when they are bathing or dressing. It is a mutual respect which is taught to the
children of a family.
The old saying of first impressions of a person is usually true, so is the first
impression of how we dress influences the way others see us and how we reflect
our relationship with HaShem. If we call ourselves children of Adonai, then we
have a great responsibility to dress modestly and respectfully unto Him. The idea
of modest dress in this modern society goes against the worldly view of dress or
fashion. The worldly view of fashion is freedom to express individuality in one’s
dress, whether to wear clothing meant for the opposite sex to express equality of
the genders or to express the desire to be of the opposite gender (D’varim
[Deuteronomy] 22:5) “A woman is not to wear men’s clothing, and a man is not
to put on women’s clothing, for whoever does these things is detestable to
Adonai your G-d”. We should not be wearing clothing which flaunts sexuality.
A daughter or son of Adonai should not dress in a manner which portrays ones
wares (1st Timothy 2:9 – 10) “Likewise, the women, when they pray, should be
dressed modestly and sensibly in respectable attire, not with elaborate hairstyles
and gold jewelry, or pearls, or expensive clothes. Rather, they should adorn
themselves with what is appropriate for women who claim to be worshipping
G-d, namely, good deeds”. HaShem created women to be emotional and
men to be visual. When our Messiah stated about the lust of the eye in
Mattityahu 5:27 – 28, “You have heard that our fathers were told ‘Do not commit
adultery (referring to Sh’mot [Exodus] 20:14 and D’varim [Deuteronomy] 5:18).’
But I tell you that a man who even looks at a woman with the purpose of lusting
after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Our Messiah was
referring to how men are visual. It is very important for men and women to dress
modestly as well as speak modestly. Our society today focuses on the physical
and sexual appetites of the world. Entertainment industry has been fooled into
believing in order to “sell” their products, there has to be skin showing, sexual
innuendos (sometimes the sexual acts) and well sculptured bodies. It leaves
very little to the imagination. The fashion of this day is for females to wear see
through tops which reveals whether under garments are worn or not, form fitting
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pants, shorts, skirts which reveal, again, whether under garments are being worn
or not, dresses (Which in reality are long tops) are too short as well as skirts and
shorts being too short. For the males, “droopy drawers” they wear their pants
and shorts so low on their butts, they reveal their fancy boxers or the division
between their buttocks. Some males have to hold to their fly’s to keep the
pants from falling down to their knees!! (When a male is seen doing this, it looks
as if he needs to go to the restroom!!!) True believers in the Messiah, have been
called out of the world, to be Holy as HaShem is Holy. We all, males and
females, have to be astute as to what we wear in public, no matter where we
are, our first thought should be “does this cause someone to stumble?”
There have been some pastors who have been at the pulpit are faced
with young teen-age girls as well as mature women, wearing low cut
tops/dresses which reveals more cleavage than the girls and women are aware
of. This is in my opinion, placing a stumbling block to this man who is attempting
to teach the Written Word of HaShem. I can understand why in Orthodox and
Conservative congregations there is a separation between the males and
females. The revealing of cleavage will cause the male’s mind to “wander” in
forbidden territory as well as a female who sees a male wearing a shirt or pants
which are form fitting. The old saying “keep your eyes on the Creator and not
on His creation” is a very true statement. Females should evaluate the neckline
prior to purchase by bending over in the dressing room mirror to see if the
neckline is revealing cleavage. If a female sees cleavage is being revealed,
then get a camisole or something which will aide in keeping modest, even
better, chose another style of blouse or shirt. If a blouse or shirt is see through,
again, get a camisole to be worn under the blouse or shirt, better yet, get
another blouse or shirt which is not see through. Pants or slacks should not be
worn if the female gives the appearance of being poured into the garment.
Yes, in this day and age, to find modest clothing is very hard to find. There are
places which clothing which is modest can be purchased; it just takes a little
time and patience to find them. Seek HaShem to direct your path in finding
these merchants. The younger generation is so influenced by their peers, what
they see on T.V., movies, magazines, internet, etc. We as parents have to be
astute and help our children make the right choices in what they wear.
Now as to how we are to be modest in our speech. Let’s use this
example:
You are coming to a place of worship, you see a group of modestly dressed
youth and you comment to yourself how they are dressed appropriately. As you
get closer, you hear their conversations, and are appalled. They are speaking
of very worldly topics, as well as speaking very disrespectful of their parents and
the leaders of the congregation. Now what is your opinion?
Another example:
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You come into a mall and you see some young men and women of college
age, dressed in a worldly way. Your thoughts are why they are dressed so
immodestly. You get closer and hear what they are saying; they are in the mall
witnessing to the shoppers about the Messiah, saying believers are called out of
the world to be a set apart people, to be holy as HaShem is Holy. Now what is
your opinion?
Another example:
You come to a congregation and are greeted by a modestly dressed husband
and wife. So far so good. You take a seat in the sanctuary and are greeted by
another couple, pleasant conversation with them about the congregation and
meeting times. You get up to get some coffee in the kitchen, here are the two
men who had previously greeted you speaking a demeaning way with other
men about their wives. What is your opinion now? You make your way back to
your seat and you over hear the two women who greeted you speaking to
some other women about their husbands faults. Wow, now what is your
opinion?
The examples show how our dress and speech can ruin our witness of our
Messiah. We have to have both modest dress as well as modest speech.
Mishlei (Proverbs) 4:24, “Keep crooked speech out of your mouth, banish deceit
from your lips.”
Mishlei (Proverbs) 10:11 – 12, “The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom,
but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is
wanted, but the mouth of the wicked [knows] deceit.”
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