Teaching for Transformation in Today’s Challenging Youth
By Dr. Scott J. Larson
Transformational change, versus incremental self-improvement, is what is needed for
today’s most at-risk teens. This article draws upon many of the principles in Scott Larson
and Larry Brendtro’s newest book, The Reslience Revolution.
There has been much written on the process of transformational change in the business
sector over the past decade or so, but very little has been done in applying these proven
principles to working challenging young people. Instead, many in the human services
field are focused on rehabilitation. While that sounds noble, especially in light of the
current emphases on coercion and punishment, it is still inadequate when it comes to
helping at-risk youth attain all that is possible for them.
Consider the very definition of rehabilitation; to re-connect to an object of former
attachment. Reality is that many of today’s at-risk youth have never been attached, at
least not to something healthy and worth reverting back to. Rather than rehabilitation,
what is needed is transformation; which involves becoming something new that has
never before existed.
Transformation happens in how one thinks. It makes sense that if I continue to think as
I’ve always thought, I will act as I have always acted, and get what I have always gotten.
Or, as the Chinese proverb declares “If I don’t change my direction, I will likely end up
where I’m headed.” When it comes to kids, the transformational change of the direction
happens not so much in the altering of circumstances or environments, but in helping
them to change the way they think about what is happening to and around them.
Of course, this isn’t confined only to the worlds of youth. The very systems that “care”
for young people are in need of the same sort of transformation. Jerome Miller, the
pioneer who de-institutionalized the Massachusetts training school system in the early
1970s was recently reflecting upon those days saying, “Incremental change doesn’t yield
anything. It’s only when you change the script, the very way by which you look at the
problem, that transformation can begin to happen.”
Following are some principles for creating fertile soil for transformation in challenging
youth.
1. Create transformational learning climates
The combination of content, fun, and action makes for safe and creative learning
environments.
Most teaching focuses nearly all on the content of the material. But effective learning is
not measured by what teachers deliver, but by what students learn and apply. Certainly
it is important to deliver good and right information, but there is more involved in
transformational learning than merely the content.
Feeling the pressure to be cool is a great enemy to learning; and when belonging,
mastery, independence or generosity are absent, kids feel they must act out to be cool
in ways that are counter to effective learning. Thus, fun is an important element for
transformational learning. It creates space for kids to feel safe. To feel they belong. To
be able to risk failure. All of which are critical elements for learning.
And finally, action or application of the material must be present. Opportunities to apply
what one is learning in an immediate and relevant context gives one the motivation and
reward necessary for learning.
2. Teach kids, not material
A growing number educators and researchers are convinced that many children who
have been labeled with learning problems and attention disorders are simply children
who are not taught in the ways they can learn. For example, Howard Gardner of Harvard
University, in his book, Intelligence Reframed: Multiple Intelligences for the 21st
Century, identifies nine different kinds of intelligence, as are summarized below.
Nine Types of Intelligence
1. Linguistic intelligence (word smart)
2. Logical-Mathematical intelligence (numbers-thinking smart)
3. Spatial intelligence (pictures-images smart)
4. Musical intelligence (music smart)
5. Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence (body smart)
6. Interpersonal intelligence (people smart)
7. Intrapersonal intelligence (self smart)
8. Naturalist intelligence (nature smart)
9. Existential intelligence (deep-thinking smart)
While people have successful careers using each of these learning styles, most schools
and aptitude testing focus only on two: Linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence
– a very narrow and exclusionary definition of intelligence.
3. Assume relationship
Research on the brain reveals that the most prevalent positive emotions are social
interest and curiosity. The recent Report to the Nation from the Commission on Children
at Risk called Hardwired to Connect: The New Scientific Case for Authoritative
Communities confirms that the desire to connect with others, cope with challenges, and
restore harmony are normal motivations in all children.
When youth feel supported from concerned adults, they are better able to cope with
challenges. Rather than feeling the need to defend or hide something, they, too, can
become curious to find what continues to trip them up and take them off course from
what they genuinely want in their lives
So step in with young people assuming that they want to be with you, but be careful not
to come on too strong. It’s far more effective to connect in small doses. “Hi, I’d like to be
your mentor” will drive most kids away – or anybody for that matter. Research shows
that mentors who try to frontally “build relationships” are less likely to connect than
those who take their cue from the youth. When we respond to a youth’s needs,
connections naturally follow.
Youth who gain support from concerned persons are better able to cope with
challenges. Rather than feeling the need to defend or hide something, they, too, can
become curious to find what continues to trip them up and take them off course from
what they genuinely want in their lives
4. Tell one on yourself
One of the most powerful means of building trust with kids in pain is the appropriate
sharing of our own related stories. It forges a powerful connection and sets the bar for a
deeper level of communication.
Traditional counseling and teacher training forbids personal disclosure on the part of the
adult, but maintaining such a guarded distance does little to break down walls of hurt
and mistrust. In Tit for Tat fashion, we show trust to persons who show trust to us. We
are also guarded to those who are guarded with us.
If we are going to effectively support a youth in crisis, it helps if that person knows you
have an idea what they are experiencing. Someone once said, “If you are going to take
someone to the edge of despair, you must at least be willing to hold their hand.”
Sharing similar situations from our own experience can be an exercise in handholding,
so long as we don’t dwell on our story. A good example is when Robin Williams, the
counselor in the movie Good Will Hunting, briefly interjected how he felt when his
drunken father came home and beat him as a child, making a powerful connection and
providing a safe place for Will Hunting to go deeper in telling his story.
One way to gauge when personal disclosure may be manipulative or an exercise in “oneupmanship” is to continually ask oneself, “Am I telling this story for my sake or for the
sake of the young person?” The latter must always be the case for it to be helpful.
The adult must also have some distance and resolution to the particular area of pain for
it to be healthily shared, or they can be too easily thrust into their own story rather than
that of the young person. But part of the definition of empathy is “the ability to reach
inside one’s own area of resolved pain to touch another at their point of pain.”
5. The Power is in the Interpretation
There are many things that happen to us that we cannot control, but we can control
how we interpret and respond to what happens to us. Nothing helps shed the victim
mentality prevalent in many troubled kids more than grasping this truth.
Recently I was talking with Ronald about how he ended up getting suspended from
school. “My principal,” was his response.
“You had nothing to do with it?” I asked. “Not really. He just has it in for me and there’s
nothing I can do to change that.”
As long as Ronald refuses to own his own behavior, he will remain bitter, powerless, and
hopeless about any possible change for the future. But as we dialogued about who was
in control of his life, the lights slowly began to come on.
“Actually, as I think about it, it was me who got myself booted out, not my principal. I
realize I’m the only one with the power to keep myself in school.” With that shift in
interpretation came a sense of hope and empowerment over his future.
6. Tap into the power of a good question
One of the best methods for helping young people reinterpret what has happened to
them is the art of asking good questions. How a question is posed determines the
conclusion one reaches. For example “Why is everyone out to get me?” has a pretty
narrow response: “The fault lies with the rest of the world.”
On the other hand, we can steer a kid toward asking, “What is it about how I come
across that makes some people suspicious of me?” This yields a completely different
conclusion. We might say to such a young person, “I know you’re a great kid, but others
are telling you by their responses that they’re not seeing the real you, but someone who
causes them to feel suspicious instead. Do you think that could be happening? What are
some ways you could better communicate who you really are, so people can experience
the real you?”
This approach of asking good questions minimizes power struggles and the need for kids
to become defensive about who’s good and bad, or who’s right or wrong. Others’
responses don’t need to be taken so personally; they’re just feedback. At first, a young
person may come up with defensive interpretations like: “They’re jerks”, or “They don’t
understand”, or “They don’t care.” Rather than arguing over that, say, “Okay, that’s one
possibility. What are some others?”
While it may be helpful for kids to understand what drives them to react as they do, it is
not always necessary. When people realize that something is not working - that it’s not
giving them what they want - they tend to change their methods. So, instead of asking
“Why in the world did you do that?!” pose the question “How did that approach work
for you?” The first question leads to a hundred unproductive rabbit trails. The second
offers opportunity for reflection and change.
The same principle applies to adults. The question, “What’s wrong with this kid?”
quickly shuts down possibilities. “What is it about how I have been coming across that
keeps this kid resisting me?” opens up new avenues for connecting.
7. Empower with Responsibility
The concept of responsibility is not an easy one to convey. When kids and adults hear
the term, they tend to migrate in their thinking to either the concept of blame or of
obligation. While these definitions of responsibility are common in contemporary
culture, both completely miss the meaning of responsibility that leads to resilience and
transformation.
When responsibility is defined as blame, it looks back on undesirable past events, as in,
“You’re responsible for this problem.” The implication is that someone deserves
punishment. Blame produces feelings of guilt if we have done wrong, or resentment if
another has wronged us.
When responsibility is defined as obligation, it focuses on future events. We hold
someone responsible for some desired future outcome, meaning they are expected to
cause a certain thing to happen. Carrying a sense of obligation is a burden to anyone,
especially to a youth who is already carrying the weight of failing to meet the
expectations of others.
As long as responsibility connotes only blame or obligation, it is no surprise that many
would try to avoid it at any cost. But real responsibility is not simply dwelling in the past
or future, but in the here and now.
Genuine responsibility empowers people rather than blames or burdens them.
Responsibility is not a merely a duty but an entirely voluntary act. As the word itself
connotes, response-ability involves the ability to respond to the needs of ourselves and
others in the present moment. As we take charge of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and
resulting consequences, responsibility is fostered. We abandon the victim stance of
blame and shame. Instead, we embrace self-respect, personal power, and a sense of
freedom. In short, the result of responsibility is a sense of personal power.
Responsibility is critical for all young people. One survey revealed that teens feel they
only have a voice in what they do 20 percent of the time; overwhelmingly, they do not
feel they have a choice in what they do.
Helping kids understand that they have the ultimate say in how they choose to live their
lives is where authentic responsibility begins. Teaching them to think through the many
options before them is an important exercise in empowering them to take ownership
for their choices.
Of course, when fostering responsibility in youth involves giving them power, it can be
quite threatening for those in authority. But as educator W. E. Du Bois said, “Only
responsibility teaches responsibility.”
8. Engage them in being part of the solution
To overcome self-centered thinking, youth must have some overall commitment to
something beyond themselves. One place to begin is by making the connection of how
their actions affect their mother, grandmother, or younger siblings. That generally hits a
soft spot pretty quickly.
Service-learning programs can also capture the commitment of troubled teenagers by
appealing to their longing for generosity. Straight Ahead Ministries’ most successful
community program for youth released from juvenile facilities is community service.
While many have court-mandated community service requirements, they cannot count
the work they do with the homeless in this program toward those hours.
“We want kids who are there for the homeless, not for themselves,” says the program
director. To be involved, kids must make a ten-week commitment, the first two of which
are training that includes gaining a better understanding of the homeless people they
will be serving. There is a long waiting list for kids to get into the program. “It seems the
higher we raise the bar, the more takers we have,” observes the project coordinator.
When we are able to provide projects that tap into a young person’s passion, big things
happen. As one youth returning from a week long volunteer service project of helping
physically handicapped adults exclaimed, “I finally found the reason I was born!”
Suddenly this young man had something bigger to live for than mere self-gratification.
Now, nine years later, he is the executive of a program that works with juvenile
offenders to serve disabled adults. So often we focus on getting kids to say “no” to so
many things. But it’s when they find the big “yes” that things really begin to change for
them.
Footnotes:
1 Speech given by Dr. Jerome Miller on November 30, 2004 at Massachusetts Citizens
for Juvenile Justice 10th Anniversary Celebration, Boston, MA.
2 Gardner, H. (2000). Intelligence reframed: Multiple intelligences for the 21st century.
New York: Basic Books.
3 This concept has been widely researched in psychology as “self-efficacy” which is a
term first coined by Albert Bandura.
Connect with us:
www.straightahead.org
Contact Dr. Scott Larson:
slarson@straightahead.org