Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
ID: 100035326
002 Section 5
TASK 1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at
a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers; those aged from
8-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance.
Write at least 150 words.
18-30
45-60
Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
ID: 100035326
002 Section 5
Plan/Brainstorming
Work Survey
Differences
Similarities
Work
environment
Chance for
Relaxed
promotion
Job
personal
working
prospects
development security environment
Respect
from
colleagues
Job satisfaction
Money
Team spirit
•
Work Survey
• Differences
• Chance for personal development
• Job security
• Relaxed working environment
• promotion prospects
• Respect from colleagues
• Similarities
• Work environment
• Job satisfaction
• Money
• team spirit
Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
ID: 100035326
002 Section 5
Draft#1
The bar chart shows information about reasons that affect the
performance of work between two ages group, which are between 18 and 30 and
the other one is between 45 and 60. The horizontal line shows the percentages
of the survey’s answers and the vertical line shows the factors which affect work
performance.
There are some factors which are same for two age groups. Work
environment is one of these factors and the percentage of it is about 29%. In
addition, two ages group have same percentage in team spirit and it is about
65%. They also have same percentages in two factors which are money and job
satisfaction. On the other hand, two groups have different averages in Job
security, promotion prospect, relaxed working environment, respecting from
colleagues and chance for personal development. The age group that between
18 and 30 has larger percentage than the other one in Chance for personal
development. Moreover, the first group has larger percentages in promotion
prospects and relaxed working environment than the second group and it is
about 80%. The second group has larger percentage than the first one and it is
about 90%.
The two age groups have some similarities and differences in that work
survey. There are not big differences between the percentages of them.
Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
ID: 100035326
002 Section 5
Draft#2
The bar chart shows information about factors that affect the performance
of work between two ages group, which are between 18 and 30 and the other
one is between 45 and 60. The horizontal line shows the percentages of the
survey’s answers and the vertical line shows the factors which affect work
performance.
There are some factors which are the same for the two age groups. Work
environment is one of these factors and the percentage of it is about 29%. In
addition, two age groups have the same percentage in team spirit and it is about
65%. They also have the same percentages in two factors, which are money and
job satisfaction. On the other hand, two groups have different averages in job
security, promotion prospect, relaxed working environment, respect from
colleagues and chance for personal development. The age group that was
between 18 and 30 has larger percentages than the other one in chance for
personal development. Moreover, the first group has larger percentages in
promotion prospects and relaxed working environment than the second group
and it is about 80%. The younger group has larger percentage than the older in
the chance for personal development one and it is about 90%.
The two age groups have some similarities and differences in this work
survey. There are not big differences between the percentages of them. The
answers of the two age groups are different in job security, promotion prospect,
relaxed working environment, respect from colleagues and chance for personal
development. However, the other factors were similar.
Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
ID: 100035326
002 Section 5
Draft#3
The bar chart shows information about factors that affect the performance
of work between two ages group, which are between 18 and 30 and the other
one is between 45 and 60. The horizontal line shows the percentages of the
survey’s answers and the vertical line shows the factors which affect work
performance.
There are some factors which are the same for the two age groups. Work
environment is one of these factors and the percentage of it is about 29%. In
addition, two age groups have the same percentage in team spirit and it is about
65%. They also have the same percentages in two factors, which are money and
job satisfaction. On the other hand, two groups have different averages in job
security, promotion prospect, relaxed working environment, respect from
colleagues and chance for personal development. The age group that was
between 18 and 30 has larger percentages than the other one in chance for
personal development. Moreover, the first group has larger percentages in
promotion prospects and relaxed working environment than the second group
and it is about 80%. The younger group has larger percentage than the older in
the chance for personal development one and it is about 90%.
The two age groups have some similarities and differences in this work
survey. There are not big differences between the percentages of them. The
answers of the two age groups are different in job security, promotion prospect,
relaxed working environment, respect from colleagues and chance for personal
development. However, the other factors were similar.
Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
Essay Title:
Errors
ID: 100035326
Draft 1
Draft 2
Draft 3
Spelling (Sp)
-
2
-
Punctuation (P)
1
-
-
Verb Agreement (VA)
Verb Tense (VT)
Pronoun Referencing (PR)
-
-
-
Wrong Preposition (Prep.)
-
1
-
Articles (A)
4
-
-
Wrong Word (WW)
1
1
-
Missing word or Verb (MW
or MV)
Word Ending (WE)
1
-
-
2
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Word order (WO)
Sentence structure (SS)
Essay is in completed form
002 Section 5
Other
Drafts
This essay is This essay is This essay is
completed.
completed.
completed.
Y | N
_________
Initial, Date
Organization
Introduction?
Topic sentences?
Conclusion?
Points follow logically?
Cohesive devices?
Strengths & Weaknesses / Lecturer’s Comments
Y | N
_________
Initial, Date
Y | N
_________
Initial, Date
Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
ID: 100035326
Progress Overview
Errors I have reduced in this essay:
I have reduced punctuation mistakes.
Areas I have identified for further work:
I must focus on how to use correct article.
To eliminate these problems I will:
Do extra work about article.
002 Section 5
Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
Choose the correct answer:
Q1 - I like listening to ____.
radio
the radio
Either could be used here.
Q2 - She's reading Italian at ____.
university
the university
Q3 - I'll take you to _____.
airport
the airport
Either could be used here.
Q4 - He was sent to ____ for theft.
prison
the prison
Q5 - She lives in _____.
North
the North
Either could be used here.
Q6 - I like ____ food.
Indian
the Indian
Either could be used here.
ID: 100035326
002 Section 5
Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
Q7 - I spoke to ______.
manager
the manager
Either could be used here.
Q8 - Do you like _____ cheese?
Stilton
the Stilton
Q9 - We went for a walk in _____.
park
the park
Either could be used here.
Q10 - She was born in ____.
France
the France
Either could be used here.
Q11 - Do you often go to _____?
Church
the church
Q12 - It's ____.
Amazon
the Amazon
Q13 - I'm going to ____.
bed
the bed
ID: 100035326
002 Section 5
Name: Eman Mohammed Ahmed
Work Survey
Q14 - She's gone to ____.
office
the office
Q15 - I don't go to ____ very often.
theatre
the theatre
ID: 100035326
002 Section 5