DECISION-MAKING
Date:
Agenda
I.
Arrival and Sign in
II. Brainstorming activity – why have sex?
III. Activity: what influences sexual decisions?
IV. Sex readiness
V. Other ways to show affection
Knowledge and Skills
 Compare reasons teens decide to have or not have sex
 List factors that influence personal decisions
 Understand pressures surrounding sexual decision making
 List other ways to show affection without having sex
Making Decisions – think about other kinds of decisions you are faced with. Examples? Choosing what
activities to do after school, to play a sport, what to do on the weekend, where to eat for lunch…
What influences these decisions? What friends are doing, past experiences, pressure, your skills, mood….
What is peer pressure?
What are norms? A set of behaviors, standards, beliefs accepted by a social group.
Do you feel pressure? To do what? How do you deal with pressure?
How can peer pressure come in to having sex?
- Friends are all doing it
- Friends think it is cool
- Pressure from partner
- Popular kids are doing it
III.
Brainstorming – why have sex?
a. Separate group by gender, each group will make two lists: why young men/women may
choose to have sex, why young men/women may choose not to have sex
b. Share the lists at the end. Are they similar for each group? Why/why not?
DO: curiosity, feel loved, sexual desire, show they are in love, have a baby, pressure, hard to say
no, everyone is doing it, expectations, make partner happy, reputation
DON’T: fear STI/pregnancy, not in love, religion, not ready, interfere with future plans, afraid,
parents
IV.
Activity: What influences sexual decisions?
a. On post-it notes, individually write down influences on sexual decision making
Ex) information or lack of, past experiences, personal values, external and internal pressure
(may feel unwanted, want to be accepted, want to feel grown up, want to satisfy curiosity, TV
show portrayal), anticipated consequences (what if parents found out, what if got pregnant or
STD, fear of relationship ending if don’t have sex), specific situation (have had sex before and
think it is expected, protection unavailable, how well partners know each other)
Pop quiz: guess what percentage of students you think are having sex?
Actual figure:
National 2011 results:
21% of 9th grade students, 47.5% of 12th grade students
2012 Hennepin County results:
9th grade males = 22%
9th grade females = 16%
12th grade males = 47%
12th grade females = 45%
Misperception is that “everybody is doing it”
Abstinence: Deliberate decision to avoid something, such as sexual activities, certain foods, voting, etc.
Why? Health, personal, religious, fear, disinterest
Sexual abstinence: how should we define it?
V.
Sex Readiness
Questions to ask yourself:
o Why do I want to do this?
o Who do I want to do this for?
o What do I expect from sex?
o Am I prepared to handle all the aspects of sex?
 Do I have a sense of all possible outcomes (wanted and unwanted)? Am I
prepared? Is my partner aware and prepared?
Present the sex readiness checklist (Source: Scarleteen)
Reality Check – Sex will not necessarily:
o Guarantee a longer or closer relationship
o Give you an orgasm, feel great the first time, or hurt like hell
o Give you increased status with your friends or partner
o Make you more mature
VI.
Other ways to show affection: Brainstorming activity