IFP 3808 Business Report 2
This report was awarded 78% - see report and my feedback below.
1. Format/structure. No plagiarism detected. Lovely cover page (but remember to put report
recipient’s name on it). Good, clear contents page. Good numbering of
headings/subheadings in main body.
2. Company background. Good level of detail shown here and good supporting chart and use
of data/sources. You have also used linking language effectively.
3. Mission. You have critically evaluated the Nando’s statement, drawing upon a variety of
reputable sources to support your assertions. This is excellent.
4. Structure. You have created a great chart and shown your chosen place within this
organisation. You have identified the type of structure in place here and evaluated it, using
examples too. To improve this part, define or explain what the key terms mean (‘span of
control’ for example). You have also managed to link the study of Nando’s structure to wider
concepts such as TQM etc.
5. Corporate objectives. You have really shown that you understand the objectives of this
company and have analysed and critiqued them, comparing them to SMART objectives and
showing where they fall short of expectations. You have also explained that these overall
objectives need to be linked to functional objectives and given an example of marketing.
6. H.R/Functional objectives. I am really impressed with the level of detail shown here
(interview with member of staff – Appendix 4 – to show level of discontent with working
conditions). To improve this section, more detail about the GROW model you mention
would be good. Also you could suggest ways to help Nandos retain its staff better. You have
created a great table on p.6 showing the alignment of functional and corporate objectives,
and you show how they are currently aiming to reduce staff turnover – maybe you could be
critical of this and suggest other ways? . Remember to introduce any tables/graphs etc. For
example: “The Table below shows how…”
7. Your role. You have described the HR role in good detail. You have also evaluated the job
description. However, you need to make it clear how you as an individual meet the
requirements of this role. You need to say how your skills, qualifications, interests and
experience (see top of report brief) match the requirements.
8. Wider reading/Sources/References. You have given a wide variety of sources in the text
itself to show where all your information has come from and to show your wider reading.
The references section is comprehensive but needs to be in alphabetical order.
General feedback about your written task:
Task Fulfilment: Fulfils the task and addresses the question clearly. A few areas for improvement.
See above.
Argument: A broad active reading vocabulary enables a confident understanding of the issues and
arguments; has a reasoned point of view demonstrating analytical thinking; avoids overgeneralisation; well-moderated language.
Supporting an Argument Argument is very well supported with critically evaluated evidence from a
wide range of material/sources; evidence of effective reading skills enabling successful synthesis of
ideas and information from different sources with full understanding of texts.
Organisation and Coherence Well structured in a way entirely appropriate to the subject / task set;
very clear evidence of planning; significance of each point clearly follows from previous argument to
form a coherent whole in a logical organisation and progression of information and ideas; excellent
use of linking language and a wide range of cohesive devices.
Paraphrasing, citation and referencing Source texts are clearly acknowledged through accurate intext citation and referencing (including use of reporting language), with very few errors (put in
alphabetical order – author surname); highly effective paraphrasing skills.
Grammar, syntax and vocabulary Fully comprehensible, uses a wide range of complex sentence
structures (with mostly error-free sentences); very good range of vocabulary appropriate to the task,
with flexibility and precision in expressing points and ideas.
Grade: 78%