Cameryn Fabbri
Eng 312
December 10, 2009
Learn to Swim
Not everyone is hesitant to learn a new skill.
Swimming is one of those skills where
almost everyone has some reserve when they
enter the pool. Learning the basics is the first
step. Floating is like a pre-write in writing.
Your first step to swimming the length of the
pool is floating and finding your balance in
the water. Pre-writing is the first step to
writing. Pondering and free writing get your
thoughts out into the open, clarifying and
editing come later.
Little Fish. Big Fish.
The Learn to Swim
program at my
work divides
students by age
first, then by skill
level. Little Fish includes 3-6 year olds and
Big Fish is 6-13, and Adults are 14 and older.
Little Fish beginners are hesitant and
learning, much like pre-college writers. A
high school student is learning the basics and
fundamentals of writing yet are young
enough that their form and tendencies are not
yet set in stone; they can be molded and
manipulated. Little Fish are young enough to
be taught to swim rather than taught to
change their swimming.
In turn, most Big Fish, or college students,
have already learned the basic skills required
to stay afloat. At first they are still unsure
and timid; months or years later they are
seeking to teach their friends. College/Big
Fish is a place where teachers try to help
students unlearn bad technique and adapt to
proper form. I am a college student and I
find myself learning and adapting my
personal writing style, but this is the place
where I am perfecting the art of writing.
After College/Big Fish, you’re an adult, no
longer in school, it’s the real world.
Learning and practicing what you learn is key
to becoming a great writer or swimmer. It has
been embedded in my mind that when I use
work that is not my own I am to cite it. The
picture of a pool facility under the “Learn to
Swim” heading is the pool at which I work,
William Woollett Jr. Aquatics Center in Irvine,
Ca. The picture was found on
http://collegeswimming.com/news/2007/apr/05/
concordia-continues-naia-growth. The flipturn diagram under the “Stroke Technique”
heading is from the cite
http://www.winderickx.com
/gillis/photos/swimming/tumble_
turn_crawl.jpg. And the clipart of the
swimmer under the “Final Swim Meet”
heading was found on http://www.clker.
com/clipart-swimming1.html.
Stroke Technique
Although perfection is desirable, it is
unattainable. Swimming is one thing that not a
single person has ever perfected. Editing your
life, editing work, and editing your stroke are
steps toward a better you. I chose to edit my
“Ophelia Syndrome” essay. I enjoyed writing
this essay and felt my work was strong.
Sticking with the basic fundamentals of
business writing, I edited my sentence
structures and chose more concise wording.
There seemed to be something lacking from a
group of sentences in the introduction of the
essay. The essay read:
“Outward introspection is to look
inside oneself and record the
findings in a medium that can be
viewed again. I engaged in the
challenge to discover myself
through two treatments.”
I chose to include the following sentence to
help the reader understand my meaning and
interpretation of the idea: “In other words,
thinking for oneself and expressing thoughts
and feelings through writing or art.”
Perfecting each stroke is a challenge that
takes time, practice, and commitment.
Choose each word or movement as if you on
purpose. I resubmitted my personal
statement in October; I chose to revamp this
work as well. The changes only include
wording. Each idea and thought are the
same, just presented in a clearer, “straight to
the point” way.
Sometimes you feel you are swimming great
and your stroke is not only good but amazing.
It’s disheartening when you finish the lap
only to hear your coach critique everything
down to the way your toes are pointed. This
is exactly how I felt with the Ophelia essay
and the Research Paper. The research paper
was more like a relay race, where the skill
and speed of your teammates affects your
time. My team members offered their
experience and strengths and our final grade
was surprisingly low. When one team
member is disqualified for an illegal move, or
forgets to cite his work, then the whole team
suffers. Unlike swimming, Eng 312 offers
repentance in the re-submittal. My team
member has yet to resubmit our revised
paper.
and with experienced skill. Finishing first is
my goal but a medal would suffice.
Swimming in finals and writing a final paper
offer the same amount of stress and
anticipation. And ultimately the outcome of
the final can change your grade positively or
negatively. In swimming, the times you
receive at finals can make or break your team’s
standing. But the times you received
throughout the season are what really matters,
finals only offer additional confirmation of
your ability.
Looking Back
Final Swim Meet
Throughout the course of the semester, I grew
to appreciate my time in this writing class. The
skills I develop and strengthen in this course
will literally stay with me all my life. This is
the last writing course I will take as an
undergraduate student. The writing
opportunities in this course like the business
correspondence section, job application, and
personal statement have all prepared me for
requirements of future jobs. I know for a fact
that I will be required to write Memos and
business letters to employees, co-workers, and
other businesses. These assignments have
helped me look at business writing as a reality
rather than an assignment.
There comes a time in
every competitive
swimmer’s life that their skills are put to the
test. Same goes for a college student’s
writing skills, they are tested by a final essay.
This is my final essay of English 312 –
Advanced Business Writing with Karen C.
Holt. This thought is exciting, scary, and
intimidating. Will my words properly
convey my thoughts in a way that not only I
feel is appropriate, but Professor Holt as
well? Will I fall start off the block and
paddle my way to the end? Or will I dive off
the block and sprint to the finish with finesse
and great skill? I’d like to think that I have
been swimming through this semester strong
The research assignment required lengthy
research and team collaboration. It would be a
lie to say this assignment was easy. I did enjoy
aspects of it though. I enjoy being a leader and
guiding my team mates to success. This
opportunity to serve as a leader in a group
assignment is not my first and will not be the
last. I know that leadership is an attribute I
possess. During swimming in high school I
lead my team in cheers and organized teambonding activities. Working together with my
relay teams required patience and collaboration
as to the best order and best techniques.
Reflecting on my time in 312 has given me an
opportunity to learn from mistakes and strive to
improve. I loved this course.