The Early Years Opportunity: A Supportive
Environment for Development - Hosting
Notes
1. Parents and caregivers will have the
opportunity to examine and share ideas about
the building of a strong brain foundation during the early years of a
child’s life.
The goal of Parent Café: The Early Years is: To build awareness and capacity of parents
and caregivers in support of early childhood development. The conversation will
provide an opportunity to:
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reaffirm the key role of parents and caregivers along with the broader
community in supporting child development.
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share and learn together to strengthen awareness and understanding of “the
core story” and early childhood development.
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foster relationships, connections and mutual support among families,
communities and service providers.
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validate the current knowledge and capacity of parents and caregivers.
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highlight and share all available resources and supports.
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support capacity building and inspire further action.
2. Welcome and Introductions
Welcome!
The fact that you’re here shows you love and care for your child…
Welcome parents and commend them on taking the time for the conversations. Parenthood is
a journey we can share, a time of learning and discovery. Once again, invite parents to be
active participants in this opportunity to reflect and learn from one another.
Explore:
How did your attempts to try something new go?
Were your goals realistic?
Are there supports or resources that might help?
Suggestions:
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Commend participants on their efforts to learn and try something new.
Make a point of letting all parents be heard.
Validate parents’ efforts and commitment to their child by being here.
Emphasize the shared interest among the group in their children – talking with
other adults offers a great support and chance to share knowledge and experience.
Consider the wealth of knowledge and experience that the group possesses! Allow
the group to problem solve together.
3. For you, what was most important about our last conversation?
Did you share anything with another parent or caregiver?
Note: You may wish to review the video clip for the last conversation.
Creating a summary of key points from the last discussion is an opportunity to clarify
questions, reinforce key points and summarize for parents that weren’t part of the first
discussion. Suggestions:
 What made the biggest impression? What sparked you to try something new? Did
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you have the chance to share this information with others?
Collecting the ideas that parents felt were most important as well as ways that they
have integrated ideas and responded can spark further discussion and exchange.
Recording these ideas can be helpful for further reflection and is very important for
monitoring the impact of the conversations.
The previous conversation highlights the importance of relationships in early development as
it relates to:
 Attachment, the emotional bond between a child and parents begins before birth
and plays an important role in brain development.
 Relationships actually shape the architecture of the brain!
 Secure attachment impacts self confidence and independence, and
lowers stress reactions.
 A loving, consistent caregiver can buffer a child from the negative impacts of
stress.
You may want to review the short video, particularly if there were parents that were not at
the first conversation: Serve and Return Interaction Shapes Brain Architecture
as a starting point for the conversation. Key points from this video focuses on the importance
of ‘serve and return’ :
 Are part of an ongoing caregiver – child relationship.
 Are responsive to child reaching out.
 Are responsive to the individual child and their developmental needs in the
moment.
 Build on child’s unique interests and capabilities.
 Shape the child’s self-awareness and sense of who they are in the world
 Buffer from stress response.
 Are an essential prerequisite for the development of healthy brain circuits and more
complex skills!
 Are a key ingredient in forming relationships between young children, their parents
and other caregivers, promoting healthy social, emotional, and cognitive
development.
4. Conversation Overview
Introduce the topic: Supporting a Healthy Environment for Development, perhaps sharing the
kinds of questions and how the conversation might flow from the overview.
The conversation guide is offered with questions in a numbered, ordered series
only as a suggested flow to the conversation (see below). Conversations are best when
they are allowed to be organic. The suggestions are provided as a tool for the host keep the
conversation flowing and to offer quality resources when participants wish to explore topics
further.
Are there particular questions about early years development you would like to
discuss?
Make a point of asking if there are any burning questions around early development that
participants would like to discuss. Recording questions on flipchart/blackboard/newsprint on
table, creating a “parking lot” for questions, allows the host to check back in with parents to
make sure they had a chance to discuss or address topics of interest. Depending on your
group and nature of the questions you may choose to “park” particular questions into future
conversations.
4. What makes an environment supportive for early childhood
development?
What should it include? …not include?
Firstly, the physical needs of a child must be met to support optimal development, including
sufficient sleep and rest, healthy nutrition, exercise and protection from physical harm. It is
important to remember that conditions that may be tolerated by a mature brain can be toxic
to a young, developing brain.
A healthy environment is secure and predictable and includes a consistent, loving caregiver!
Positive care giving can buffer a child from the impacts of stress!
Early in a child’s life their brain is most plastic, or able to change and adapt as a result of
their environment. This means a child’s brain is most susceptible to input, most vulnerable to
harm and most capable of recovery at this time in their life! It is important to note with
parents, however, that healthy relationships, environment and experiences continue to
impact older children and healthy development – it is never too late, it is just harder work!
The dance between genetic and environmental influences plays out as the genetic blueprint is
read and interpreted, under the influence of the environment. A healthy environment is
essential for a child to reach their optimal development!
Explore:
What is stressful for infants and young children?
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Infants and young children do experience stress in their day to day life from things
including:
A changing, unpredictable environment, something unexpected.
Transitions from one situation to another.
Parents feelings of stress, tone of voice and the manner they communicate, too
many “no’s”.
Not getting the attention and comforting that they are needing.
Frustration from either their own or parents’ expectations.
Its not just about bad things that happen but also good things that don’t happen!
Lack of “serve and return” is stressful for a child.
Read more: AFWI provides a summary of Brain Plasticity & Behavioral Change
“Promoting children’s mental health is like using a sugar packet to level a table. The table can’t
function properly if it is on a slanted floor or if one of its legs is uneven. Similarly, children can’t
function fully if the environment in which they grow is unstable. This affects their mental health and
undermines their development. The table can’t level itself: we have to step in and provide assistance
to steady the table’s base.
Source: Sharing the Brain Story, Alberta Family Wellness Initiative
5. Explore together this short video from the Centre on the Developing
Child, Harvard University: Toxic stress Derails Healthy Development or
from Alberta Family Wellness: Building Better Brains: Toxic Stress
What is stress? Positive, tolerable and toxic stress?
What are your reactions? What strikes you most?
Note: You may wish to begin with the segment related to stress from Core Story video.
Key ideas include:
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Some stress is a normal part of life.
Learning to deal with stress is important and part of healthy development.
The stress response is our natural physiological response to things we perceive to be
threatening or dangerous. When we experience stress our body’s stress response
system is activated. Our body and brain go on alert, as our heart rate increases and
stress hormone levels go up.
We know that infants and young children do experience stress, and that a stressful
environment can have serious impacts on brain development.
“Positive stress”, or minor, short-lived stress events, like meeting new people, is a part
of healthy development. The stress response is short lived, causing only a brief
increase in heart rate and mild changes in stress hormones, and the body quickly
returns to normal. Caregivers providing comfort and support are critical as the child
learns to moderate this response to stress.
High levels of prolonged stress without a the presence of a consistent, loving caregiver
can be “toxic” and derail healthy development, leaving a child with:
 changes in brain architecture.
 permanent “signatures” on genes (epigenetic effect).
 a more sensitive and reactive stress response system
 weakened neural connections for learning and reasoning
 increased vulnerability to develop physical and mental health struggles,
including addiction.
Positive care-giving can protect and buffer a child from the impacts of stress. Even
traumatic life events, like a death in the family, don’t have lasting impacts on the
developing brain if a child is supported and nurtured by a consistent caregiver.
Researchers call this “tolerable stress”. Toxic stress can be avoided if we ensure all
children develop and grow in nurturing, stable and supportive environments.
“The development of supportive environments for children is key to both reduce their
exposure to toxic stress and create buffers of support to make stressful life events more
tolerable.”
-AFWI, Positive, Tolerable & Toxic Stress
Additional Suggested Resources:
Toxic Stress Derails Healthy Development, Excessive Stress Disrupts the Architecture of the
Developing Brain and Key Concepts: Toxic Stress Center on the Developing Child, Harvard
6. Are you aware of your own stress?
What helps you to minimize and cope with stress?
Some healthy ways that parents cope with stress:
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Getting enough rest
Eating well
Physical exercise and play
Spending time talking with friends
Gardening, reading, playing music, …
Yoga and meditation
Spiritual practice
Others?
Explore:
How does your child let you know they are feeling overstressed?
While positive stress is part of healthy development, a young child experiencing too much
stress might not be able to learn and explore as they normally would. We know that infants
and young children do experience stress. Before they are able to express how they are
feeling verbally young children might let us know they are feeling overstressed by:
Examples:
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Increased behavior problems and acting out
Increased crying
Tummy aches or headaches
Unusual sleep patterns
Reverting to less mature behaviors
Increased dependency
7. How can you help to limit stress for your child?
Explore:
Some stress is a normal and part of healthy development!
How can you support your child as they learn to moderate their stress response?
Many of the strategies that help our children to moderate their own stress also help to limit
stress. In order for a child to learn to comfort themselves and moderate their stress they
need to know what this feels like to be comforted. The parent-caregiver relationship is a key
factor, clear evidence from this in the buffering effect from toxic stress. In our day-to-day
home environment there are many opportunities to moderate stress, for our children and
ourselves. Parents can also model and actively teach strategies for dealing with stress.
Examples:
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Creating an environment that feels safe and secure with predictable routines
and regular patterns
• Bedtime routines help children transition and relax at the end of the day.
• Morning routines can help to get the day off to a good start.
• Adequate rest and sleep – tired children are more easily stressed.
• Providing healthy food (helps children cope with stress) and sharing
mealtimes.
• Ensuring there is time for exercise and active play. Get outside!
Supporting children as they learn to manage their own stress response:
• Offer warm, responsive care-giving; giving comfort when a child is upset.
• Learning to manage and modeling how you manage your own stress.
• Talk, talk, talk. Allow children to express what they feel and why.
• Share strategies like “count to ten”, “breathing buddies” and “calming bottles”
(see resources for more ideas).
Spending time, connecting with their child, showing them they are loved for who
they are.
Communicate with a firm and kind voice, clear expectations and limits.
Having realistic, developmentally appropriate expectations of their child
Slowing down and turning off the technology.
Reading a book together! There are many great books related to this theme.
Have fun together and making time for laughter and play.
Did you know 10 minutes of play can create a flood of endorphins – the opposite of
stress hormones!
Suggested Resources:
Kids Have Stress Too! Ideas, Tips and Strategies for Parents of Preschoolers from: The
Psychology Foundation of Canada
Early Learning & Family Supports: A Practical Guide - A Model to Apply Neuroscience
Research to Early Childhood Development Initiatives for more on how parents can respond.
Suggestions from parents for managing stress:
“Breathing Buddies” – Teaching Mindfulness to your Child or “Glittery Calm Down Bottles”
8. How do you play and have fun with your child?
How is this supporting learning and development?
We may not be thinking about it in the moment but the fun, playful activities that we share
with children are great brain builders. A parents’ favorite ways to spend time with their
children not only nurtures the bond they share with their child and builds feelings of
competence and confidence as a parent, but also supports their child’s growth and learning.
Having parents make the connection between their “fun” and the realms of development
helps reinforce this.
Suggested Activity: Have parents write down their ideas – one per sticky and match to the
5 areas of development.
This activity helps parent to explore how everyday activities contribute to learning and
development? Have parents write down their ideas of how they have fun together with their
child (one per sticky). Post the 5 areas of development on a poster or white board and have
parents match each idea to a key area of development that it supports.
Examples:
 commuting on the bus together
(communication and general
knowledge)
 cooking (physical health and
well-being, communication)
 swimming, (physical health and
well being)
 playing hide and seek (language
and thinking skills, physical
health)
Encourage parents to find the joy in all these experiences they share with the child!
Reinforce that parents support all areas of development when having fun together!
Note: Many of the activities may overlap and support more than one area – use a best
guess. Most important is to highlight the impact of ‘just playing” on all realms of
development. Pinterest is a great place to find visual ideas and suggestions for having fun
with our children.
9. Why is play so important?
The words of Mr. Rogers, “Play is the work of childhood”) and Albert Einstein, “Play is the
highest form of research,” are both consistent with what brain research and child
development studies tell us: Play is an essential part of healthy development. Play
isn’t a distraction or break from learning but really HOW children learn and
develop!
During play, a child’s brain takes in information using all five senses, creating and responding
to sound, sight, touch, taste, and smell. These combine to create connections in the brain
that help the child to make sense of the world and create the foundation for future learning
and development. There is a role for structured play – but unstructured, independent play is
important too; it helps children discover their own interests, develop focus, attention and
imagination, problem solve, cope with frustration, plan and adapt. Play really is the ideal way
to learn, tailored to a child’s interest and their individual developmental needs, promoting
repetition and practice! Play provides opportunities to:
 rehearse, refine, practice and extend skills. Remember that brain connections
(synapses) need repetition to strengthen! When its fun and interesting we are
more likely to persist to repeat and extend our efforts.
 explore and learn to understand their environment and relationships
 build strong bonds with caregivers
 build understanding and thinking skills as we begin to make sense of the world
 build adaptability, self-control and confidence
 build connections in brain, supporting brain development and learning in all realms
(physical, social, thinking, language, emotional) Creative play- executive function!
 Have fun! This of course inspires more exploration, repetition and learning!
Things that can “get in the way of
play”:
•More structured activities (sports, lessons)
•Focus on academic activities for children
•Lack of resources or family time
•Television, electronics and media
•Fewer safe areas where children can play
Things we can do to promote play:
• Incorporate play in daily activities – keep
it fun! You can play too!
• Embrace free time
• Turn off television of screens
• Get outside with our children
• Take the pressure off – limit structured
activities
Explore:
For a more in depth look at play, share Stuart Brown’s Ted Talk: Play is more then just fun.
Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, by Stuart
Brown and Christopher Vaughan (2010) According to Brown play has an “essential role in
fueling our intelligence and happiness throughout our lives.”
Share this poem with parents:
“Just Playing” by Anita Wadley
Suggested Additional Resource:
Let’s Talk About the Early Years, Alberta Health and Wellness, OCMOH (pages 15-16)
10. What are the best toys for infants and young children?
Remember that there is no good scientific data to support that specialized electronics actually
support building a strong and healthy brain foundation. The best toys for young children:
 Allow the child to explore and create.
 Provide opportunity for sensory stimulation.
 Are developmentally appropriate: provide an opportunity to practice and explore
the skills a child is learning or refining.
 Are safe!
 Do not need to be expensive, electronic or complicated (think of a child on the floor
with a cardboard box, pots and pans, plastic containers in the bath…)
 Others?
Check out a Calgary Public Library “Big Play Date” for great ideas and inspiration!
Explore:
What are some common household objects that can be great play toys?
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building blocks, balls, dramatic play props, pots and pans, plastic containers…
•Others?
Share and discuss:
Toys are also a way for us to enjoy, relate and build relationship with our children.
In fact… a loving, responsive caregiver can be said to be a child’s “best toy”.
(see Apple magazine)
11. Sharing your gifts and talents…
What do you enjoy most about parenthood?
What do you find most challenging?
Explore:
Have parents explore their strengths in the context of: If “the best toy for baby is you”?
– then what are the things that make this toy great?
What are your strengths and talents?
How can you share them?
Have parents brainstorm their talents of the head, hands and heart (see activities: Gifts I can
give my child and community*). Have parents note one idea per sticky note and add to wall
chart. This question may help with the ideas:
What do you like most about caring for a child?
Examples:
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Love to sing – We sing silly songs together!”
“I am very patient – I enjoy all the “why?” questions.”
“I love to be active – We walks to the park and play soccer together.”
Others…?
Some points of discussion:
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Parents may need encouragement and examples - it can sometimes be difficult for
adults to ‘blow their own horn”!
By recognizing our own strengths we can find the joy in parenting!
Parents have unique and diverse gifts and talents.
There are many strengths even in this small group – if we think about our families,
the entire community there are an amazing number of assets to draw on.
Imagine if we shared our strengths and drew on all of each other’s strengths as
opportunities for our children!
Suggestion: end with another question:
How do you share these strengths with other children? In your family, in your
neighborhood, in your community?
12. After our discussion today, what is something new that you would
like to try to support your child’s development?
Is there a goal you would like to set?
What would you like to share with another parent or caregiver?
Great ideas from parents:
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Try some of the breathing and calming strategies.
Take the time to get down on the floor and play!
Take time for myself to relax and relieve stress.
Others?
Reminder: provide any follow up information requested and information about upcoming
conversations.
Suggestions:
Ideas for resources to offer parents include:
•
Kids Have Stress Too! Ideas, Tips and Strategies for Parents of Preschoolers from:
The Psychology Foundation of Canada
•
“Just Playing” by Anita Wadley