Effective Communication to Reduce Conflict
Employee Assistance Program (EAP)
Interpersonal Relationships
Breaking it down…

Interpersonal -- existing or occurring
between persons

Relationship -- connection,
association or involvement an
emotion or other connection
between people
Inherent in these
associations/connections between
two people there may be concerns,
differences and conflicts.
And Building it up…
The most essential element for successful
interpersonal relationships is:
Effective Communication
“Working and living in relationships with
others is one of the most difficult things
we do”.
Communication is:
the sharing of
 Information
 Hopes
 Ideas
 Dreams
 Feelings
 Fears
 Attitudes
 Frustrations
 Values
 Faith
 Beliefs
 Meaning in Life
with understanding
Communication
The process used to send and interpret
messages so that they are understood.
Three Elements of Communication
Vocal
Body
Tone & Language
Inflection
38% 55%
Words
7%
93% of
communication
is non-verbal
Interpersonal Relationship conflicts
are caused by:

Strong emotions

Misperceptions/stereotypes

Poor communication

Miscommunication

Repetitive negative behavior
Objectives of Effective Communication
 The receiver interprets the message as the
sender intended it.
 It achieves the sender’s purposes.
Meaning of Words
 The
500 most commonly used words in the
English language have an average of 28
meanings each.
three-letter word “run” has more than
one hundred different uses.
 The
Connotations of Words
Word
Sender’s Meaning Receiver’s Connotation
average
normal
mediocre
cheap
inexpensive
poorly made
conservative
moderate
radical
determined
committed
stubborn
flashy
striking
gaudy
liberal
fair
radical
slender
lean
skinny
traditional
old-fashioned
dated
The Sender
 Sends clear messages
 Is in touch with feelings
 Does not assume the other person
knows what he/she is thinking, feeling,
etc. (and perhaps, that those thoughts or
feelings are shared by the other person)
 Uses language, concepts, experience that
other person can understand, appreciate
 Checks to see if the other person
understands what he/she is sharing
The Receiver
 Listens
 Acknowledges feelings
 Is open or concerned about hearing what the
other person is conveying
 Does not make assumptions or stereotypes
based on the past
 Hears and interprets messages of others not
using our personal filter.
 Checks to see what he/she is hearing and
interprets the message accurately
Effective Communication







Speak directly to person involved – pay
attention to your body language
Use of 3 part statements:
Identify behavior
Identify how you feel about the behavior
Identify the impact the behavior has on
you
Use “I” statements to convey impact of
behavior
Convey your needs
Establish clear limits and consequences
Check for understanding
Use “active listening”
Listening
Definition
To make a conscious effort to hear
and attend closely:
Requires effort
Is active, not passive
How do you know someone is listening to you?
Active Listening
What is active listening?
Some examples of active listening include:
Use of encouraging words
Body language
Use of empathy
Open ended questions
Clarifying questions
Check for mutual understanding
Be in the moment
Why Does Communication Break Down?
 Personal style
 Barriers:
• Internal
• External
What is your communication style?
Basic Communication Styles-Passive

Not clearly stating what one thinks, feels
or wants. The message is one’s own
needs, feelings, and desires are less
important that the others’.

Goal is to please, to be liked, and avoid
conflict.

Resulting feelings are anxious, ignored,
hurt, and manipulated.

Benefits are avoiding unpleasant
situations and conflicts.
Basic Communication Styles-Aggressive

Standing up for one’s rights and believing
they are more important than others rights’.

Goal is to win, to dominate, to assert power,
to intimidate.

Resulting feelings are self righteous,
controlling, superior.

Benefits are to feel control or power, to
release anger.

Beliefs are either him/her or me and it’s not
going to be me if I can help it, “dog eat dog
world.”
Basic Communication Styles-Assertive

Respectfully and clearly stating what you think feel or
want.

Goal is to give/receive respect while making known
opinions, wants or feelings, and to communicate
effectively.

Resulting feelings are feeling confident and successful.

Benefits are feeling good about oneself and
experiencing respect from others.

Beliefs are being honest and not blaming.
Barriers to Effective Communication
Internal and External:
 Noise or other physical/environmental
distracters
 Sender’s and or receiver’s internal noise
 Lack of interest or motivation
 Lack of comprehension
 Disagreement
 Bias of either toward the other
What Can We Do To Ensure Effective Communication?
You Can:

Practice Effective Communication. It is the key to
successful relationships at work and at home.

Demonstrate Active Listening skills…clear messages,
accurate reception and interpretation.

Be self-aware. Take personal responsibility and remember
perspective.

Manage your stress. Pace yourself. Use wide-angle lens.
Train for change. Take good care of yourself. Develop and
use your support system.

You can only care for others to the degree that you take
care of yourself.
Something to Think About…..
The greatest problem of
communication is the
illusion that it has
been accomplished.
~George Bernard Shaw
For more information, contact…
Elizabeth Robinson, Manager
robinson@nso.uchc.edu
or call 860-679-2877
Ct toll free: 800-852-4392