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Immediately communicate to the other person
without words, that you are attending to them
and that you are glad to do it.
Be careful that your facial expression is
positive. A smile is hard to beat. On some
people perplexity, concern and concentration
appear more like disbelief or hostility.
Use the SOLER position when attending (see
box).
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S it or stand squarely.
O pen posture.
L ean toward.
E ye contact maintained.
R elaxed body posture.
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Gestures animate discussions. Use whatever
gestures you are comfortable with unless they
are aggressive or patronizing and directed
toward the student.
Use a friendly tone of voice.
Avoid nervous mannerisms, particularly
drumming fingers and jiggling feet. These
movements communicate impatience with the
meeting.
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Notice how you’re being affected by the
other person’s nonverbal messages.
Practice and observe. Experience is the
best way for you to become adept at picking
up the nonverbal cues in yourself and
others.
Your body is always communicating: Make
sure your nonverbal behavior is exerting a
positive influence on the other person.
Guidelines for Listening Skills
RESPECT
 Value others simply because they are
human beings.
 Be available and willing to help.
 Suspend your critical judgment.
 Express warmth.
Guidelines for Listening Skills
MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS
 Use small prompts to lead into further
exploration or clarification of the student’s
needs.
 “Uh-huh”
 “Mmm”
 “Yes”
 “I see”
 “Ah”
 “Oh”
 Nonverbal nodding of head.
Guidelines for Listening Skills
REQUEST FOR CLARIFICATION
 Seek clarification whenever communication is
unclear.
 A simple request is sufficient:
“I’m not sure I understand what you mean
by…Could you clarify?”
Guidelines for Listening Skills
QUESTIONS
 Use open-ended questions to clarify and
elaborate.
 “What …?”
 “How …?”
 “Why …?”
 “When …?”
 “Who …?”
 “Where …?”
 Use closed-ended questions to find facts
when the specific situation is known.
Jill Hendricks
UWG Patient Health Advocate
Guidelines for Listening Skills
SUMMARY
 Use summary to clarify.
 A summary is particularly useful after a long
or complicated response.
 Summarizing helps to keep the student on
track.
Guidelines for Listening Skills
EMPATHY AND PARAPHRASE
 See the issue from the student’s perspective
and communicate this perception to the
student.
 Use empathy to establish a rapport with the
student.
 Be sure to use the proper tone and
language.
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Listen, don’t assume.
Understand the student exactly.
Communicate your understanding.
Guidelines for Confrontation Skills
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Always take responsibility for the confrontation.
Be simple and direct when confronting but
proceed openly and smoothly.
Exhibit confident and assertive body language;
direct but not threatening.
Guidelines for Confrontation Skills
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Be concrete and specific in your confrontation.
Confront behavior, distortions, discrepancies,
games, etc., in a positive and constructive
manner.
Make no assumptions about who’s wrong,
who’s distorting or who has superior values.
Guidelines for Confrontation Skills
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Identify feelings as feelings rumors as rumors
and facts as facts.
If tension, social distance or hostility impedes
discussion, use immediacy to discuss what is
happening in the present moment.
Insure that the tone and manner of your
challenge does not aggravate the situation.
Guidelines for Confrontation Skills

If appropriate, focus on the person’s strengths,
but don’t confuse the or dilute the confrontation
by turning it into a personality buildup session.
Defensive Responses
Rather than accept the challenge in a
positive way, the other person might try to
sidetrack or control the confrontation by
attempting to:
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Discredit you as a challenger, implying that you
have many faults yourself or are not someone
qualified to challenge them.
Devalue the issue at hand, implying that it might
be true but it is no big deal.
Defensive Responses
Rather than accept the challenge in a
positive way, the other person might try to
sidetrack or control the confrontation by
attempting to:
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Persuade you to change your views. This
usually takes the form of rationalization.
Agree with you, but without sincerity.
Ignore any of these attempts and continue to
focus on resolving the issue at hand
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Never argue.
Never patronize.
Communicate your respect at all times.