Dating Awareness for Nice Guys

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Dating Awareness for Nice
Guys
1. The only way to know if you have consent is if you ask and your partner
says “Yes.”
2. A drunk “Yes” means “NO”!
3. Challenge the belief that if a person is drunk, it’s not rape.
4. Being drunk is not a defense against a charge of rape.
5. If your partner says “maybe” but then decides “no” take “NO” for an
answer.
6. When a person says “no” believe them. “No” doesn’t mean “maybe” or
“yes.” Your partner shouldn’t have to tell you “No” more than once.
7. Should you feel you’re getting a mixed message, say so. Ask the person
what they want. If a person says they aren’t sure, assume the answer is no
and let it go.
8. A person has the right to say “yes” to some sexual acts and “no” to others.
You must respect your partner’s rights to do what they want with their
body. Communication is key to a consensual sexual experience.
9. If a person says “yes” it’s still good to ask if something you’re doing feels
good or if it makes them feel uncomfortable.
10. If you hear a person was sexually assaulted, don’t blame them by saying
things like “they shouldn’t have gone there/worn that/accepted a drink
from that person.” The perpetrator is responsible for their own actions.
There’s no excuse for sexual assault.
11. Sexual activity is not a payback for an expensive meal or an evening out
on the town.
12. Don’t join friends who give unwanted sexual attention to people at a
party, in a bar, on the street or anywhere. Tell them why it makes you
uncomfortable.
13. If a friend tells you she or he was raped, ask what you can do to help.
Understand that anyone who was raped didn’t want it or cause it.
14. Get help for yourself too. Most rape crisis lines also offer support for friends
and family of survivors. You can also get help if you believe you were
sexually assaulted by anyone, male or female.
15. Know the National Sexual Assault Hotline number: 800.656.HOPE
The SAFE Place ~ Men Can Stop Violence Program
415-338-2208
3/26/09
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