Sexual Assault Prevention—A Man’s job
Introduction—Statistics
 1 in 4-5 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes
 80% by age 25, an estimated 20 - 25% of females will be sexually assaulted (or attempted)
in college, 60% of those under 18
 One study  35% of college males said they would rape if assured they could get away
with it
 Most involve alcohol: 75% of perpetrators and 50% of victims
 Rapists in prison often get raped—how would that change a would-be perpetrator’s
mindset if they knew that this was their consequence? Would such a consequence be
worse than that of their victim’s?
 About 1 in 8-10 males will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes
Impact
 How many know someone who was raped (or do, but are not aware of it)? What
percentage of the people you know do you think probably know someone who has been
sexually assaulted, but have never been told based on these numbers?
 Imagine…waking up one morning as a woman who had been raped the night before…
how would you feel? Or instead, how would you feel if the person assaulted was…your
sister, girlfriend, or best friend? Or instead, the person was…a man who had been
overwhelmed by force and raped by a man? Would you then feel the violation to be more
or less severe than a woman being raped by a man? How do you know? What if the man
was you? How do you make the judgment of how severe one person’s injury/pain is
compared to another’s? Think about it…
 Women’s lives are changed—this effects husbands and brothers and sons and daughters
and boyfriends and best friends and roommates and children. These are not just faceless
girls, these are your mothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives – and someday your daughters.
 A person can be charged with sexual assault if there is no informed consent for sex
(legally an intoxicated person cannot give). If sex is right and both parties agree, why can’t
it wait until one is sober to make that decision? If sex is not right and is harmful to a
person, why would intoxication make it acceptable? Think about it…
How Is It Possible?
 We have been struggling with this issue forever. Legal references to rape date as far back
as 4000 years ago, where it was a crime to rape a virgin = embezzlement of daughter’s fair
asking price—stealing from the father; the rapist had to pay and marry. Today we hear
about it all the time—prevention programs, education, this presentation, etc. What’s the
problem—so deeply engrained—so resistant to change…that we still have to talk about it?
 Socialization—what do men and women learn about sexual attitudes that make rape
possible? Think about it… Does the old extreme mindset, “Men are meant to be studs,
women are conquests” still survive to some extent?
Action
 Is it okay that 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted—is a 25% chance okay for your
sister, girlfriend, or future wife? What would you do to prevent it? Think about it…
 Most men do not rape, 75% of rapes are done by repeaters. Stop the first one!
 Lists of do’s and don’ts won’t cut it. It takes courage and character to stop it.
 Ex. What would you do if you saw a friend taking a drunken girl that he did not know
to his room? (It’s so easy to be silent). What if it was your sister, girlfriend, or
daughter? (She is for somebody.)
 It can be a high price to go against the tide and stop an acquaintance who is making an
obvious move on a [perhaps drunk] woman, but what price if you don’t? Do you
think there is ever going to be any woman [or man] in your life who you care about?
How will it be if no one takes a stand for them next time they are out and in danger of
assault?
Conclusion
 As long as we accept the attitudes and behaviors that promote rape, there will be rape.
The choice is up to each individual how to respond. University students are at a time of
life when they are developing their character at a higher learning curve than perhaps any
other point in their life, what it means to be a friend, boy/girlfriend, student (of books
and life). What kind of man/woman do you want to be? Someone who is willing to take
a stand, or only take a stand/side based on the payoff or peer/social influence?
 I don’t think rape would be possible if men didn’t perceive women as objects. And I
think there would be less if men held men to a higher standard than that.
 Think about it!...
Dr. Thom Stanger
Director, Counseling & Consultation Services
Northern Michigan University