Marriage is a covenant agreement in which a man and a woman are legally and spiritually joined
together as husband and wife (Malachi 2: 14, 15). The marriage covenant is not just between two
people, but between two people and God. In this triangle it is God who is always steady and
never breaks His covenant (Leviticus 26: 43, 44). That is why, when couples who come to
counselling with a burden of problems are comforted in being reminded about God's faithfulness.
Often, they will acknowledge that they do not know how they survived.
Christian couples who come for counselling at CCC often identify strengths in the area of
spiritual beliefs, and that will be utilized as a building block for the marriage. Because they have
these basic strengths and support, it becomes even more effective to examine other areas in the
relationship.
The Prepare/Enrich Program uses an extensive self-administered Questionnaire. The responses
are computer scored and areas of strength and need for improvement are identified in the
following areas: personality differences; communication; resolving conflict/managing money;
leisure activities; sexual communication; parenting; family and friends; roles in marriage. A
pastor or counsellor, who has received formal training in the use of Prepare/Enrich, will sit
down with the couple to go over the results in about three or four sessions of follow-up (needs
and preferences will vary). In my own experience in using this approach, couples become more
motivated to work on issues. Being able to identify the areas clearly, and fact that these have
come from the couple's own responses can reduce the need for extended counselling, as it
encourages the couple to keep doing their own work of building the marriage. In the follow-up
sessions the following goals would be identified:
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Explore the relationship strengths and growth areas
Learn some useful communication skills, including assertiveness and active listening
Learn skills to resolve conflicts through use of the Ten Steps procedure
Explore the couple relationship and their families-of-origin using the Couple and Family
Map
Develop a budget and financial plan
Develop personal, couple and family goals
Prepare/Enrich is used for the following: premarital couples; premarital couples with children
(remarriage situations); married couples; couples over the age of 50. The experience so far at
CCC has been that there is quite some interest in this approach from couples who are reaching
the age of retirement and where most of the children have been launched. While couples
appreciate dealing with the nitty-gritty of marriage relationships, they do also benefit from
reinforcing the Biblical bases of marriage and I will borrow from the ideas of people like Wayne
Mack, Gary Smalley, and Norman Wright. As a professional Marriage & Family Therapist I am
required to keep up in the field, and I have found the results of research by people such as John
Gottman, and William Doherty quite helpful. I will continue to be selective so as not to
compromise the eternal truths of God's Word.
The cost of the program is $450.00. This includes the questionnaires, the scoring, and four hours
of follow-up sessions. The program can help couples learn to live in harmony and to truly make
God the third person in the marriage.
If you know of anyone in your congregation who would benefit by participating in the
Prepare/Enrich Program, please give me a call at the Burlington office to receive the
Questionnaires and to schedule the follow-up sessions.