Chapter 5
Conflict Resolution
Conflict Important

Conflict is the internal or external tension that
occurs when you anticipate difficulty meeting
important needs.

Boss, spouse, child, etc.
Conflict Types
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Five leading causes of conflict in the workplace:
– Misunderstanding-miscommunication
–
Disrespect or disregard for other people
–
Conflicting egos
–
Impatience
–
Fear and insecurity over loss of control
Conflict Types
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Pseudo conflicts (false conflicts)
– Not real conflicts; they are perceived.
– Two causes: faulty assumptions and false dilemmas
– Faulty assumptions: mistaking assumptions for facts
– False dilemmas: people only see two solutions to a
problem
Fact conflicts
– Parties disagree about information that could easily be
verified
– Fact conflicts can turn into ego conflicts
Conflict Types


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Ego conflicts
– A dispute centers on status or power
– Initial argument may be over a factual question
– Conflict centers on “who” has the “right” facts
Value conflicts
– Focus on personal beliefs
– Value rights, religion, etc.
Need conflicts
– Needs of one individual clash with the needs of another
Conflict Management Styles

Avoiders
– See conflict as hopeless and useless
– Are impersonal or distant
– Remove self mentally or physically
– Lack commitment to finding solutions (time, energy,
confidence or skills)
– Be an Avoider: to buy time, to defuse strong emotions,
if the conflict isn’t worth it
Conflict Management Styles

Accommodators
– Believe conflict is destructive
– Overvalue maintaining relationships
– Undervalue own needs
– Don’t make waves
– Want peace at any price
– Be an Accommodator: when the issue isn’t that
important to you or when conceding is easier
Conflict Management Styles

Forcers
–
–
–
–
–
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Believe winning is the only thing
Love challenge and achievement
Express anger when others don’t agree
Are willing to sacrifice others who don’t agree
Typically use emotional appeals, strong deliveries and
persistence
Be a Forcer: when decisions have to be made quickly,
crisis
Conflict Management Styles

Compromisers
– Believe half is better than none
– Want each side to gain something
– Use voting or bargaining to decide
– Avoid the real issues
– Typically use maneuvering, negotiating and trading
– Be a Compromiser: disagreement isn’t vital
Conflict Management Styles

Collaborators
– Believe both parties can meet their needs
– See conflict as a natural way to meet needs
– Want to hear the needs of others
– View the other as equal in conflict
– Be a Collaborator: when there is time, if both parties
are willing to work together
Conflict Strategy Guidelines

Recognize the “enemies” that can limit your ability to
manage conflict effectively.
– Your desire to explain your side first
– Failure to listen attentively
– Fear of losing control, what you value
– Misconception that one must win and the other
must lose
Conflict Strategy Guidelines

Choose the right time.
– Relaxed, free from distractions and prepared to spend
time

Take turns speaking and listening.
– Listen open-mindedly rather than defensively
–
Paraphrase one another
–
Encourage active listening
Conflict Strategy Guidelines

Set the stage for finding a solution.
– Work collaboratively
–

Brainstorm
Identify your needs and those of the other person.
– Keeps you focused on the issue
– Identify the needs
– Be empathic
Four-Part Assertion Messages

Plan what you want to say.
– Four-Part Assertion Message
 Describe the behavior
 Identify your feelings
 State the tangible consequences
 Make a request

Example: When you take personal calls on your cell
phone while there are customers waiting in line
(behaviour), I feel stressed (feeling), because I have to
cover the service desk by myself (consequence). Would
you please wait until your break to use your cell phone?
(request).
Be Assertive

Assertive
– Stating what you think, feel, want or need in a way that
is direct, honest and respectful of others
– Builds trust, helps prevent conflicts, gets needs met
– Most conducive to a supportive style of communication

Aggressive
– Stating thoughts, feelings, wants or needs directly and
honestly but disrespectfully
– Can prevent conflict by fostering avoidance
Be Assertive

Non-Assertive
– Respecting others while stating your thoughts,
feelings, wants or needs indirectly or not at all
–
Avoid conflict, easy to please, cooperative
team players
–
Can’t get needs met, may feel resentful
Conflict Strategy Guidelines

Express appreciation.
–
Thank the other person
–
End the discussion on a positive note
Responding to Criticism

Three types of criticism:
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Manipulative
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Vague
–
Valid
Responding to Criticism
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Fogging
– Use for manipulative criticism
–
Presents a non-defensive, indifferent response to
criticism
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Seeks to acknowledge the criticism
–
Does not agree or disagree
Responding to Criticism
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Negative Assertion
– Strongly agrees with valid criticism
–
Admits mistakes
–
Announces that the critic is right
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Adds what you have learned from the mistake
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Expresses a sad, regretful tone
Responding to Criticism
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Negative Inquiry
– Clarifies the intent of vague criticism
–
Shares a puzzled, confused tone
–
Seeks further information
–
Uses questions