Bible Study: MDR: Putting Away Romans 1:7 “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ..” A sincere attempt to arrive at an understanding of a controversial subject and encourage fellowship. A concession • Previous understanding of Luke 18:28-30 in discussions with brethren was wrong. • “Leaving {family} for kingdom of God’s sake” should not be applied to marriage or sundering of marriage. • I had made this argument in the past and recognize that it is a broad leap of assumption to apply that to sundering a marriage. • Peripheral passages should not be used unless there is a clear connection to the subject under consideration. 2 Familiar Passages Matthew 5:31-32 (Deuteronomy 24:1-4) Matthew 14:1-4 - John & Herod Matthew 19:3-12 Mark 10:1-12 Luke 16:18 Romans 7:1-3 1 Corinthians 7:1-16 (Will not read each one now due to familiarity each of you has with Scripture. Each will be referred to in the context of lesson and discussion to follow.) Sound Brethren Generally Agree: Scriptural marriage is between one man and one woman Both are bound by God for as long as both live Only one exception: innocent party may “put away” guilty spouse for the cause of adultery and scripturally remarry. Adultery is a sexual act (John 8:4), not mental thoughts. Marriage sundered for any other cause does not permit either party to remarry. Adultery committed after sundering does not permit remarriage. The guilty party does not have right of remarriage. A Christian abandoned by unbeliever may not remarry if no fornication is involved. All men are amenable to law of God on marriage, etc. Must obey civil law if no conflict with divine law. (I have always taught: one, man, one woman, for life, with only one exception: adultery). 4 I Do Not Defend: • • • • • • • • • The “Waiting Game” The “Second Putting Away” The “Race to the Court House” Denial to obey civil law Using modern civil procedures as equal to Biblical language and usage: divorce/putting away. Denial that judgments must be made Binding judgments on others Limiting fellowship based only on judgments Anyone’s view on multiple causes for putting away: there is only one. 5 A Case Study of the Issue "Now here is the sad situation that Brother Bill Cavender came up with in an 11 page article that he sent me for Gospel Truths. 'Here is an innocent, moral, covenant-keeping, godly and faithful wife whose husband turns out to be a sorry, cheating, fornicating, immoral, ungodly man. He repudiates and divorces his lawful wife, marries his paramour, and then his true, lawful, godly ex-wife is doomed to a life of loneliness, celibacy and rejection because her immoral, fornicating husband decided to divorce her and beat her to the lawyer, judge and court and get a civil divorce. They say she will be an adulteress if she remarries, no matter how pure and godly she really is or has been.' Now, folks, that is a pitiful situation -- that is a pitiful situation. And when you say, when you say, 'Well, but I've got to oppose that,' you sort of feel like a heel doing it, except for the fact that it's not so. And when you take all of the adjectives -- I want to show you what happens when you take all the adjectives out of it. When you take all the adjectives out of it, there's what you have left. Here is a husband who divorces his wife and marries his paramour; his exwife they say will be an adulteress if she remarries. Now isn't that something? That's all he actually said in that, besides the adjectives of the ungodly, sorry, lowdown scoundrel that was a husband and this faithful, good, godly wife -- that's all that's left. And so when you put that by itself, then here is what you have. Here is a husband who divorces his wife and marries another, they say the ex-wife cannot remarry, she will be an adulteress if she remarries. They say, but they must include Jesus because that's what He said. 'Whoever puts away his wife and marries another commits adultery and whoever marries her that is divorced from her husband commits adultery.' ( emp. mine, tr) See that's what Jesus said. Well, they say includes Jesus, so I must be in pretty good company if I'm in there with what Jesus said" (J. T. Smith, 41:15 and following on CD of sermon from Olson Park in Amarillo, TX 10/23/05). Note: Fornication was committed before “putting away” took place. Is the procedure of legal divorce in court required by Jesus, or the presence of the Cause of fornication? 6 Another Example • In a study with some brethren, I posed a situation in the Philippines: a faithful lady catches her husband in flagrant adultery and decides to put him away. Since, in the Philippines, there is no legal divorce (a Catholic country), can she remarry even though she cannot obtain a court-appointed divorce? • One brother said, “No, because she must obey the law of the land.” I responded that the Lord promised her the right to “put away” – if she has the right to “put away for fornication,” Jesus grants the right to remarry to one who puts a spouse away for fornication and the state cannot abrogate what the Lord mandated.” • He responded: “I am an elder in ______ and will make decisions here; the Philippino’s can make their own decisions. But she has no right to break the law.” • Which law has precedence in any country? (Acts 5:29) 7 The Crux of the Matter • Does human law supercede divine law? (Acts 5:29) • Must a faithful Christian always obey the law of the land in which they live? • If civil law and divine law coincides, there is no conflict. • But if civil law and divine law conflicts, we must obey God. • Example: In China, the state mandates only one child per family. If a second child is conceived, the civil law dictates an abortion. • If a faithful Christian conceives a second child, must she obey the law and abort the child or do like Moses’ mother and thwart the law? • State laws now allow homosexual marriages. • Do you bind that civil law must be obeyed regardless of divine law? 8 A Case Study From the Bible Matthew 14:1-4 – John vs Herod Herod had married his brother, Phillip’s, wife. But John said: “It is not lawful for you to have her.” Beyond dispute, John placed divine law above human law (we are not told whether Herod “put her away”, divorced her, or how he took Phillip’s wife.) • Herod was still bound to his first wife under God’s law. • Clearly, Herod disobeyed God in his action. • But the Lord only gives the right to “put away” to the innocent party against the guilty. • • • • 9 A Case of Confusing Terminology • Are the words “divorce” and “putting away” the same? • In one instance, “divorce” reflects modern terminology and American jurisprudence. • While some Bible passages use “divorce” (as in Matt. 19:8) in certain cases, it reflects modern translations, not Biblical definitions. • In every instance, scripture translates “putting away” and never refers to or utilizes civil procedures. • “Putting away” is the proper terminology, along with other similar words. • To use “divorce” instead of “putting away,” creates confusion and discord. • Gospel preachers should avoid using the word “divorce” instead of “putting away,” seeing the confusion it generates. • Look at the Bible definitions and usage. 10 Biblical Terminology • Apoluo • Set free, release, pardon, send away, dismiss • Pharisees ask question using this term • Choridzo • • To sunder, disunite, divide or separate something Jesus responds with this word • Aphiemi • To let go, send away, cancel, remit, pardon • These describe a state of existing alienation • None of them include a judge, civil procedure, case law or any context of legal jurisprudence. • When “divorce” is used, people think of every aspect of civil courts and are consistently confused. • Another reason to avoid usage of “divorce”. • Interpretion on Luke 16:18: “He that marries anyone, who has been filed upon in a civil divorce proceeding and has lost the case by the judge’s ruling to a former spouse, commits adultery.” 11 Fill in the Blanks • Those who equate “putting away” for civil procedure, and demand a procedure for such, please give proof text in following blanks: • • • • Step # 1 ___________________________ Step # 2 ___________________________ Step # 3 ___________________________ Add additional steps as needed! • What “procedures” are found in Matthew 5; 19, Mark 10, Luke 16, Romans 7; 1 Cor. 7? What procedures were found in Deut. 24? • The fact: civil procedures are never found in Biblical texts, either in OT or NT. 12 “But God Hates Divorce” • Malachi 2:16 • Should read “God hates putting away..” • Yet God allowed “putting away” in Deut. 24 and Matt. 5; 19, etc. • “Hates putting away” does not absolutely forbid all putting away – for the proper “cause.” • Modern acts of divorce with all the legal trappings are read into Mal. 2 and the NT passages erroneously. • This confuses God’s will and drives people to think of divorce as “putting away.” • Gospel preachers should not be guilty of using terms in such a way so as to confuse listeners. 13 “Case Study on God ‘Putting Away’ in O.T.” • “From the beginning” God had Gen. 2 law as intended just as now so under Christ’s law (Matt. 19:3-9) • Israel & Judah likened to harlot sisters, Oholah & Oholibah (Ezek. 23) • God repeatedly received them back to reconcile • Guilty harlots said to have “forsaken” & “cast off” God (23:35) • Did that make God “put away” & unable to remarry? (see 23:36-49) • Hosea instructed to take wife of harlots to illustrate God’s relationship with Israel (Hos. 1-5) • God & Hosea repeatedly called guilty spouses to repent & return • Israel & Gomer refused & departed (1:2; 2:13; 3:1; 5:4) • Judah said to have learned way of harlot wife from actions of Israel towards Jehovah (Jer. 3) • Israel & Judah played the harlot, left God & would not return • God corrected in captivity, was long-suffering, but finally put away • God was never first to repudiate or depart, yet He had right to put away for the cause of fornication by Israel & Judah 14 “Divorce” is a Legal Action, Taken by Court Systems – not “Putting Away” • Even if a divorce is granted, it is not equal to putting away – the bond created by God is still present until adultery happens before the action of putting away. • It is approved by God to use the legal system for protection: Acts 25:11 – Paul’s appeal to Caesar • Legal systems are appointed by God – Romans 13 • It is a matter of judgment whether or not a Christian appeals to “Caesar” for a divorce decree. What one may do in a given situation may be different from others. I do not bind my judgment on others and each case must stand on its own merit. • The doctrine of Christ is clear, but applications of judgmental matters must remain a realm of liberty. 15 “So You Believe in Many Causes for Divorce?” • No! Heb. 13:4 – “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” • I disassociate myself from the statement by Mike Willis that there are “multiple causes” for divorce/ putting away • “There is but one cause for divorce (fornication) that allows an innocent party the right to remarriage. However, there are situations in which a person may have to leave a marriage in order to serve the Lord (see Luke 14:26; 18:29).” • [Mike Willis, Truth Magazine, Jan. 2007, p.30] • I advise people to seek counseling and attempt reconciliation. • If a Christian’s life or his/her children are in danger of death, that person may choose to seek relief from the courts. This action remains in the reaIm of liberty, but it is understood that the bond is not broken. • Some advocate the persecuted Christian be a “martyr for Jesus,” or to “pray for more faith like Daniel in the lion’s den.” • Must one stay in a marriage regardless of the danger or may that one seek relief from the courts? • This is an individual choice that must remain a liberty without binding my judgments on others. 16 Jesus Permitted a Woman to “Put Away” Her Husband • Mark 10:2-10 • Same terms as Matthew’s account • Moses’ law was law of land in Jesus’ day (ref: Deut 24). • But Jesus allowed a woman to put away her husband, not permitted under Moses. • Thus Jesus abrogated that provision of Moses’ Law, permitting a woman to put away her husband. 17 What Emphasis is True in All Passages? • The “cause” of putting away, not “procedure” • “Is it lawful for a man to put away for every cause?” • Jesus responded by reminding them of God’s will that marriage should not be sundered. • Jesus: Two become one – no returning to two • Jesus: If one becomes two – sin is always present • Pharisees respond with procedure of Deut 24 • Jesus responds with sole cause: fornication. • But no procedure is mandated here in Mt 19 or any other passage. • We understand that Deut. is no longer binding. 18 What If A Couple Is Already Sundered? • 1 Cor 7:10-11 • Regardless of a lack of information about “why” or “when” or “who is guilty,” a sundering has taken place. • Remarriage to a third person by either is not admissible. • Divine mandate for these two: • remain unmarried • be reconciled • Without doubt, reconciliation is the preferred option. • Many judgments might be entertained and conclusions drawn that are not necessary. • Best approach: follow the apostle’s mandate and make application today in similar situations. • We should not limit fellowship over unanswered questions. 19 Case in Point and Applications of Procedural Advocates • The case: “My wife left me for another man and promptly filed for and received a divorce. She was committing adultery before she left and received a divorce before I responded. Can I remarry? If not, why the adultery exclusion added to Mt. 19:9?” • Application: Some believe that since your mate committed adultery BEFORE she put you away that you are free to put away and marry another.... However, this is not what Matthew 19: 9 teaches. Every state with which I am familiar allows some waiting time between the filing and the issuance of the civil divorce document. I believe, also, that you should have been active before the whole divorce process became history. You are now a "put away person" and according to Matthew 19: 9 are not allowed to "put away" and subsequently marry another. [Source: Don Martin, Bible Matters - 4/8/03 - 4:35pm] 20 Such Application Violates Scripture • Notice the confused use of “divorce.” • The bond yet remained after the civil action: divorce. • Makes the “cause” of sundering as being irrelevant. • Binds court and procedure of modern origin • Binds necessity to take civil action unknown to Jesus times. • Binds framework of time determined by a human judge to complete a procedure and ignores the true cause as being fornication. • Make impossible the original “putting away.” • Forbids marriage of one not violating covenant of marriage as opposed to guilty fornicator who provided the “cause” specified by Christ. 21 Another Case & Application • “We often get wrapped up in scenarios that lead us to false conclusions. No scenario can change divine truth. Marriage is a liberty not a command. If a country outlawed marriage then a Christian would have to obey that law (Rom. 13:1-5). A scriptural divorce is a liberty. If a country outlawed divorce for any reason then a Christian would have to abide by that law (Rom.13:1-5).” • [Brian Yeager, “Do Divine Liberties Supercede Civil Laws?”] • Such an application puts human law over divine law and opens the door to Trojan horse of future ideas. • Yeager made same application to China’s law on abortion. 22 This Study Is Not An Exhaustive Study – Many Positions Are Not Addressed • However I believe that truth is knowable, teachable and duplicatable. • The human condition regarding mdr is often confused, emotional, complicated and tragic. • But our duty as preachers is to preach the truth, enlighten the ignorant and oppose error. • We are often a remnant (as preachers) of those who love and serve the Lord. • As much as possible we need to be united in fellowship and lean on one another in our labors. • I believe my brethren are my safety net who will correct me when I am wrong and be patient with my efforts. May the elements of Romans 1:7 be present today! 23 Conclusion • I do not pretend to be an expert on this subject. • There are many other “rabbit trails” that are proposed, many used to permit the guilty party to remarry. • However, I want to know, teach and defend the truth about Marriage, Divorce (putting away) and Remarriage. • I have taught today what I believe to be the truth and mostly, I have believed these truths all my preaching life. • More than anything else, I want to go to Heaven. • I want to enjoy the fellowship of sound brethren. • I have no desire to drive a wedge between anyone. • I look forward to the discussion from all of you as opportunity allows. • I remain available any time for personal discussion with those who might not agree with this lesson. 24