From Ch. 1 and related lectures/class discussions
Principles of Interpersonal Communication
1.
Every message has both a content and relational level of meaning a.
Content dimension- the info being explicitly discussed; “You are standing on my foot” b.
Relational dimension- expresses how you feel about the other person; like v. dislike, control v. sub
2.
Relationships may be viewed as symmetrical or complementary
3.
Can be intentional or unintentional-
4.
Communication is a series of punctuated events
5.
IPC is a transactional process
6.
Inevitable- it is impossible to not com
7.
Irreversible- what is said cant be unsaid
8.
Unrepeatable- since com is always happening it cant be perfectly repeated; a.
the smile that charmed last week might not do the same this week
9.
Involves a process of adjustment
What is communication?
- the interchange of thoughts or opinions through shared symbols
-transactional process involving participants who occupy different but overlapping environments and create relationships thru the exchange of messages many of which are external, physiological, and psychological noise
Be able to articulate what we mean by creation of meaning, symbolic nature of communication, that communication is a process, that communication is functional, systematic, interactional and transactional.
Elements of Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal Communication- b/t 2 different ppl, parties consider each other as unique individual and not as objects, characterized by minimal use of stereotypes and has a high degree of info exchange
What needs are met via communication and how?
1.
Physical Needs- lack of communication can result in poor physical health a.
ie- POW’s die if they don’t talk to each other b.
not everyone needs the same amount of contact; the quality is just as important as the quantity
2.
Identity Needs- it is the only way we learn who we are a.
w/o com w/ others we wouldn’t know what to think about ourselves
3.
Social Needs- pleasure, affection, companionship, escape, relaxation, & control a.
The happiest ppl com a lot
4.
Practical Goals- getting others to behave in the way that we want
What is meant by the statement “Meanings are in people, not in words”?
1. Saying something is not the same as communicating it.
2. One phrase can take on several different meanings depending on who is saying it
Myths/Misconceptions of Communication
1.
Communication will solve all our problems
2.
We need more communication- sometimes com can be excessive, it can be counter productive
3.
Communication can break down
4.
All communication seeks understanding- 2 ppl that know each other well are very likely to miscom
5.
Communication is a good thing
6.
Meanings are in words
7.
Communication is a natural ability
8.
A competent communicator is competent across contexts
9.
Causality can usually be attributed to a single action- many factors contribute to how ppl react to your com

What makes a relationship “personal” as opposed to “impersonal” (what are the criteria)? a. Uniqueness- b.
Irreplaceability- bc they are unique they cant be replaced; why we feel sad when we break up c.
Interdependence- the fate of the partners is connected; you can brush off an insult from someone you don’t know d.
Amount of Disclosure- how much you are willing to share e.
Intrinsic Rewards- you find it rewarding to talk or be with someone
not personal until “mutual caring and concern exists between people”
Impersonal Com- is determined by social rules (laugh politely) and roles (the customer is always right)
Face to face vs. CMC
What are the two criteria for communication competence?
1.
Effective and Appropriate
What are the characteristics of a competent communicator?
1.
Having a large repertoire of skills- and knowing which to use
2.
Becoming adaptable
3.
Knowledge and skill
4.
Being involved
5.
Having empathy & perspective-taking
6.
Being cognitively complex- come up with frameworks for viewing an issue
7.
Self-monitoring- knowing how you are acting to influence others
8.
Tolerating ambiguity
9.
Being open-minded
What distinguishes a social relationship from a personal relationship?
Personal Relationship- the interaction is unique, irreplaceable, interdependence, self disclosure, intrinsic rewards
Why do we all need to communicate?
1.
Share our ideas and opinions
2.
Provide feedback to others
3.
Get info from others
4.
Gain power and influence
5.
Develop social relationships
6.
Maintain self expression of our culture
Discuss the difference between effective communication and appropriate communication as they relate to communication competence. a.
There is no ideal way to communicate- dif situations call for dif kinds of com b.
Competence is situational- c.
Competence is relational-
What is attachment and how do primate studies inform our understanding of it?
1.
Attachment-
2.
Primate Studies- shows us that contact comfort is key to our development and that physical touch is extremely important for the well being of someone once they are grown

How would you choose a daycare for your child?
I would choose one that I know would provide my child with an environment that gives my child the necessary contact comfort that would enable him/ her to develop into a healthy person both socially and physically
PowerPoint presentation on the development of the self through interaction (James, Mead, Cooley, Goffman)
Cooley’s 3 elements of the Self-Concept (Looking glass self)
1.
How we think we appear to the other person
2.
How we think that person judges our appearance
3.
How we feel about ourselves in reaction to the other persons perception of us
Mead- Mind, Self, and Society a.
Self emerges from social interactions, we take on the role of the other and internalize the attitude that we perceive in both real and imagined others b.
Components of Self:
1.
I
2.
Me
3.
Generalized other
James- The Empirical Self a.
Material, social, and spiritual self
Goffman- a.
Said that we have a private and public self b.
We maintain front and back regions c.
Face- the socially approved identity d.
Facework- ways we act to maintain the face
Characteristics of the self-concept a.
Begins when we are 6-7 months old b.
A product of social interaction, thru: i.
reflected appraisal – perceptions of the judgments of those around us ii.
social comparison- evaluating ourselves compared to others
What 4 requirements must be met in order for an appraisal to be regarded as important?
1.
Someone we see as competent offers it to us
2.
The appraisal is seen as highly personal
3.
It is reasonable in light to how we see ourselves
4.
The appraisals are consistent and numerous
How do you Change your self concept?
1.
Have a realistic perception of yourself
2.
Be willing to change it
3.
Have the skill to change it
4.
Recognize the powers of the self fulfilling prophecy

The self-fulfilling prophecy-
1.
Holding an expectation (for yourself or others)
2.
Behaving in accordance with that behavior
3.
The expectation coming to pass
4.
Reinforcing the original expectation
Explain the difference between self-concept and self-esteem.
1.
Self-Concept- a.
Subjective- based on perception b.
A healthy self concept is flexible c.
Resist change- said to be well set by age 30
2.
Self-Esteem- a.
part of the self concept that evaluates self worth b.
how you feel about the qualities in yourself concept c.
relatively stable across lifetime
How does this impact your communication?
1.
determines whether we will be accepting or perform well
Perception – 3 steps in the process
1.
Selection- selecting certain stimuli; if we didn’t select them we would be overloaded (intensity, contrast, change)
2.
Organization- categorizing and sorting
3.
Interpretation- attaching meaning to it or “making sense” of it
Influences on perception
1.
First impression
2.
That which is obvious
3.
Similar to us
4.
Negative
5.
Blaming the victim
6.
Stereotypes
7.
Attribution error
8.
Health or Fatigue
9.
Age
10.
Biological cycles
11.
Mood
12.
Sex and Gender Roles
13.
Occupation
14.
Culture
Filters and common tendencies in perception (text & lecture)
1.
Physiological- what we are physically able to perceive
2.
Psychological- predisposition to respond in a certain way
3.
Position in Space and Time-
4.
Past Experiences- we perceive what we learn to perceive

Standpoint theory
1.
A standpoint is a place from which human beings view the world.
2.
A standpoint influences how the people adopting it socially construct the world.
3.
Social group membership affects people's standpoints.
4. The inequalities of different social groups create differences in their standpoints.
5. All standpoints are partial; so (for example) Standpoint feminism coexists with other standpoints
Stereotyping and its 4 Stages- applying generalizations to everyone
1.
Categorization of ppl into groups
2.
Infer that all ppl in that group posses similar characteristics
3.
Form expectations of others and interpret their behavior according to stereotypes
4.
Maintain the stereotype
Attribution- process of attaching meaning to behavior
Self-serving bias- we tend to judge ourselves in the most generous terms possible in order to convince ourselves and others that our positive face is true
Empathy- the ability to recreate another’s perspective, to experience the world from their POV
1.
Perspective taking
2.
Emotional contagion
3.
Genuine concern
Imagine that you work for a publisher – and they want to remove the chapter on perception from the
Interpersonal Communication textbook that they publish, and because you had a class in it, your boss asks your opinion. Of course, you are strongly opposed. Explain, as you would to your boss, why the study of perception is so central to an understanding of interpersonal communication.
Facilitative and debilitative emotions
1.
Facilitative- contribute to effective functioning
2.
Debilitative- detract from effective functioning
3.
The intensity of the emotion is what decides if it is either
Fallacies (be able to identify the fallacy in a matching section with examples)
What kinds of changes, reactions, interpretations, and expressions do emotions involve?
1.
Physiological changes- sweating
2.
Non-verbal Reaction- biting nails
3.
Cognitive interpretations- “I want this to stop”
4.
Verbal expression- what we say
Orders of Emotions
1.
1 st Order- triggered automatically in response to environmental stimuli (fear, surprise)
2.
2 nd Order- triggered by emotional scripts or knowledge that we have learned as a part of socialization a.
ie- guilt; 2 nd order differs across cultures (shame- China, love-western)

Types of Emotion
1.
Primary- joy, acceptance, fear, surprise, disgust, anger, anticipation
2.
Secondary- infinite numbers of emotions (take more than 1 word to describe) a.
The can be intense or mild (Annoyed—Angry—RAGE)
What variables influence our emotional expression? (Examples)
1.
Personality- extroverted ppl are more likely to have positive emotions
2.
Culture- ppl in France would love to eat snails but we in the USA become disgusted
3.
Gender- women are more likely to remember emotions
4.
Social Conventions- in the US we are discouraged from expressing emotion
5.
Fear of Self-Disclosure- we don’t want to become vulnerable
6.
Emotional Contagion- emotions are viral (you curse around ppl that curse a lot)
7.
Social Roles-
Guidelines for expressing emotions – which are you best at? Worst at?
1.
Recognize your feelings
2.
Choose the best language
3.
Share multiple feelings
4.
Recognize the dif b/t feeling and acting out on emotions
5.
Act responsibly for your feelings
6.
Choose the best time and place to express your feelings
Why is it important to identify an activating event when dealing with emotions?
Fallacies – how can they be debilitative? How could determining an activating event help us rid ourselves of these fallacies? How do they impact your relationships?
Using the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, explain how the documentary “The N Word: Divided We Stand” illustrates that “language has the power to both affect and reflect culture”.
-Sapir Whorf illustrates that depending on which culture or in this case subculture that uses the n word it can take many different meanings.
Understanding the research of Harry Harlow on forming secure bonds and attachments, explain how you would go into potential daycare centers and choose one for your child. What are three specific things you would be looking for (that Harlow’s work informed your understanding of)?
1.
Healthy comfort contact
2.
3.
What is the difference between self-concept and self-esteem?
What is the difference between sympathy and empathy? How can you experience empathy even if you have never been through or experienced what someone is going through?
Explain how your gender has shaped your self-concept, perception, emotions and expression of them, language, and nonverbal communication via your understanding of research concerning gender differences in these things throughout the chapters you have read.