Tate 1
Mitch Tate
Interactional View Concepts in You’ve Got Mail
The interactional view of interpersonal communication theorizes that
interaction is shaped in and through its role as part of a system (Griffin, 181). The
theory consists of three main components: punctuation, reframing, and
symmetrical/ complementary interchanges. Punctuation refers to the process of
interpreting an ongoing sequence of events by labeling one event as the cause and
the following event as the response (Griffin 184). Reframing is used to reference the
process of change that comes when an individual steps outside of a situation and
reinterprets meaning based on the new point of view (Griffin 188). The last concept
implies that all communication is either symmetrical or complementary.
Symmetrical interchanges are based on equal power distribution while
complementary interchanges are based on power differences. Defining an
interchange as one or the other requires the study of one-up, one-down, and oneacross messages that each convey a different message relating to the power within
the relationship (Griffin 186). Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan’s fictional relationship as
Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly in the film You’ve Got Mail effectively illustrates
punctuation, reframing and symmetrical/complementary interchanges.
In the movie, Kathleen Kelly is a successful children’s author and the owner
of a very small, rundown bookstore called The Shop Around the Corner. She is in a
positive yet unsatisfied relationship with a well-known newspaper columnist. Due
to her inadequate relationship she takes to the Internet under the user name
Tate 2
‘Shopgirl’ and there meets ‘NewYork152’, or Joe Fox. Neither Joe nor Kathleen
considers the relationship to be romantic. Joe is the head of a very successful chain
of bookstores, Fox Books, which is putting Kathleen’s tiny shop out of business. Joe
first meets Kathleen face-to-face several weeks after their online chatting via email
started.
This relationship provides a great example of punctuation. Kathleen is very
frustrated that her family business is going under because Joe’s store can provide
customers with cheaper prices. Because of this she is quick to lash out at him
verbally. Meanwhile, via email, she tells ‘NewYork152’ that she feels bad about
“verbally attacking” someone earlier that day, but insists that the person’s actions
caused her to do it. Several times throughout the movie Kathleen belittles Joe. In
nearly every case Joe responds with harsh words for Kathleen citing her comments
as his reason for speaking in such a way. The two are both interpreting an ongoing
sequence of events by labeling one event as the cause and the following event as the
response. The problem is that both Joe and Kathleen think each other’s response is
the cause and their own actions are a reasonable counter.
Kathleen and Joe also give a vivid example of reframing. The couple is
engaged in two separate relationships with each other for much of the movie, one
over the Internet, and one in their day-to-day lives. The couple reinterprets the
meaning of their relationship when they come to realize that the person they are
speaking to online is someone they are familiar with offline. Joe comes to this
realization quicker than Kathleen. Once he is aware that the person he has feuded
with is actually someone he has confided in online, he sees the relationship, and
Tate 3
more importantly Kathleen, in a completely different light. He rejects the old frame
and changes his actions based on the new frame, or view, of the relationship. He
reinterprets meaning based on his new point of view. Kelly later realizes that Joe is
‘NewYork152’ and she too reinterprets meaning from her different vantage point.
The process and practice of reframing can have a lasting impact. In a study
conducted by Christophe Panichelli, a Belgian psychologist, he found reframing to be
“one of the most frequently used therapeutic tools used in family therapy”
(Panichelli, 447). He continues, “The goal is clear: to bring the clients to a position
where smiling or laughing at the problem becomes possible–not in order to avoid it,
but to increase the capacity to face it” (448). In short, reframing provides a
powerful new perspective.
The two different relationships that Joe and Kathleen find themselves in
provide excellent examples of symmetrical and complementary interchanges or
interactions. All of the couple’s interactions over the Internet, for example, would
be classified symmetrical. This is evident in almost all of the emails that the two
exchange. They share nearly identical views about the world in which they live, and
neither attempts to seize the power of the relationship by communicating with oneup messages. The face-to-face relationship is a complementary one. Each tries to
one up the other as they feud about whether Fox Book Store is a distinguished
business or everything that’s wrong about capitalism. In one particular scene
Kathleen confronts Joe with a one-up message about taking too much of the
expensive caviar garnish at a party. He, in turn, replies with a one-up message about
his independence. Many scholars have researched this particular phenomenon in
Tate 4
recent years. Frank E. Millar, L. Edna Rogers and Janet Beavin Bavelas conducted a
study that sought to identify patterns of verbal conflict in interpersonal dynamics.
Millar and his colleagues claim that verbal conflict occurs when “three consecutive
one-up maneuvers have been manifested by the conversants (sic). That is, a conflict
results when speaker B's one-up response to speaker A's one-up statement is
responded to with a one-up maneuver by speaker A” (Millar, Rogers and Bavelas
231).
It’s easy to see that the fictional relationship between Joe Fox and Kathleen
Kelly in You’ve Got Mail is a great representation of some of the key concepts
relating to the interactional view of interpersonal communication. As I have shown,
the relationship between Kathleen and Joe illustrates punctuation, reframing and
symmetrical/complementary interchanges.
Tate 5
Works Cited
Griffin, Emory A. A First Look at Communication Theory. 8th ed. Boston:
McGraw-Hill, 2006. Print.
Millar, Frank E., L. Edna Rogers, and Janet Beavin Bavelas. "Identifying Patterns
Of Verbal Conflict In Interpersonal Dynamics." Western Journal Of Speech
Communication: WJSC 48.3 (1984): 231-246. Communication & Mass Media
Complete. Web. 20 Oct. 2014.
Panichelli, Christophe. "Humor, Joining, And Reframing In Psychotherapy:
Resolving The Auto-Double-Bind." American Journal Of Family Therapy 41.5
(2013): 437-451. Professional Development Collection. Web. 20 Oct. 2014.
You've Got Mail. Warner Bros. Home Video, 1999. Film.