Communication
Presented by:
Prof. John Barkai
William S. Richardson School of Law
University of Hawaii
Teaching Negotiation and ADR:
The Savvy Samurai Meets the Devil
75 Neb. L. Rev. 704 (1996)
GETTING TO YES
Separate People from Problem
Interests not Positions
Invent Options
Objective Criteria
BATNA
http://mediationadvocacy.com/Getting%20to%20Yes.pdf
BATNA
Best
Alternative
To a
Negotiated
Agreement
YOUR BATNA TELLS YOU
WHEN TO WALK
NOT WHEN TO SIGN
Tolanski Curve Illusion
Two Key Ideas
about Negotiation &
ADR
1) Focus on Interests
not positions
2) Improve the
Communication
(information & temperature)
Words for “Interests”
Chinese - 利益
Indonesian / Malay – kepentingan
Korean - 욕구'
Thai- ผลประโยชน์ - Phon Pra Yot
Vietnamese - lợi ích
Khmer -
(Cambodia)
Words for “Interests”
Japanese - 興味 きょうみ (kyomi) emotional
関心 かんしん (Kanshin) reasonable
India
THE BASIC COMMUNICATION
LOOP
CODE
DECODE
SPEAKER
LISTENER
LISTENER
SPEAKER
DECODE
CODE
Miscommunication
Miscommunication
Ha ha ha, Biff. Guess what? After we go the the drugstore
and the post office, I’m going to the vet’s to get tutored.
Bear! Bear!
“Keep in mind that
you’re more interested in
what you have to say
than anyone else is.”
- Andy Rooney
The Communication Samurai
What do you think is one of
the most important issues facing
your country in the next 10 years?
Japanese
Japanese
Korean
Mandarin
Bahasa Indonesian
Tagalog
Thai
Vietnamese
Arabic
Russian
Chamorro
Kampampgangan
Can you add others?
What do you think is one of
the most important issues facing
your country in the next 10 years?
What do you think is one of
the most important issues facing
your country in the next 10 years?
French
Speaker
(Instructor)
Active Listener
(Student)
Speaker
Continues
Comments
1
I had a terrible day
today.
What I hear you saying is
you had a terrible day today.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Are you feeling OK today?
Classic active
listening.
Uses introductory
phrase. Repeats
exact words.
2
I had a terrible day
today.
... a terrible day?
Yeah, nothing went right,
and then there was that
thing with my boss.
Skips introductory
phrase. Repeats a
few of the exact
words.
3
The boss screamed
at me about some
assignment.
... blamed by the boss?
Yeah, he was going on
and on about it.
Paraphrased, but still
not a complete
sentence.
4
He was being unfair.
I didn't even know
what he was talking
about.
... unfairly blaming you?
No, actually it did turn out
to be my fault. But he
shouldn't have acted like
that with my co-workers
around.
Speaker corrects
inaccurate active
listener.
5
How do you think
you would feel if
that happened to
you?
... you are very disturbed
about this.
Of course I am. No one
should have to go through
something like that.
Active listening used
instead of answering
the question.
6
[if they go on and
on and on and on
and on]
Wait a minute! Let me see if
I understand you correctly.
Active listening is
used to interrupt
without offending.
Communication Techniques
Speaker
Listener
Technique
1. What do you think is one of the most
important skills for negotiators?
Open-ended
Question
2. Ah, I'd say communication skills.
3. Tell me more about that.
Open-ended,
Follow-up Question
4. Sure. Negotiators need to be able to collect information and
to persuade people. Of course they need to communicate to do
that.
5. What do you mean by "collect
information?"
Clarifying
6. Negotiators need to learn information from other people. So
negotiators "collect" this information by asking appropriate
questions and using other communication techniques.
7. Humm, hum.
Passive Listening
8. After they have collected the information they then use it in
some way.
9. Can you be more specific?
Narrowing
10. Sure. When negotiators learn about the other side's
interest, they can use that information during the negotiation.
11. That's helpful, keep going.
Facilitator
12. They use techniques like open-ended questions, follow-up
questions, clarifying questions, and active listening.
13. How so?
Open-ended
14. They use these techniques to gather information from their
opponent.
15. They collect the information by using
these techniques?
Summarization
Active Listening
16. Yes, the good communicators collect the information which
is an important foundation for the negotiation.
17. How do you feel about that?
Open-ended Question
Probe for Feelings
18. I think it is one of the most important things that negotiators
do, and unfortunately, many negotiators neglect these skills.
19. So you think communication is
important, but many negotiators neglect
it?
Summarization
Active Listening
20. Right. Negotiators should realize that good communication
techniques can help them to be successful, and they should pay
attention to, and practice good communication techniques.
21. Thanks. You have helped me to
better understand your views about
communication. And, I hope I have
helped you demonstrate some of the
techniques that you have talked about.
Framing
influence or
be influenced
63
© Victoria Pynchon ‘07
framing
a means of
influencing
another’s
perception by
narrowing the
ways in which an
item or an idea
can be
characterized
what if you had to measure the size of
something by using two frames?
what if you could only use one?
64
© Victoria Pynchon ‘07
REFRAMING
restating another person's statement
to make it
less provocative and more productive.
REFRAMING
Is the glass half full or half empty?
"It all depends on how you look at it."
- Tom Sawyer
You say, “Off with her head,”
but what I’m hearing is, “I feel neglected”
“I am beginning to think I upset you with the Barkai Chorus.
Can you tell me more about that?”
Jason Nicholas
REFRAMING
Negative Statement
Reframed
She talks too much
She's so friendly and puts
everyone at ease.
He argues so much
He has such strong convictions
She thinks she knows it all
He is so conceited
She too easygoing
He's so stingy
She spends too much money
He's too rigid
She can never sit still
She's too emotional
“No problem. Just flip and reframe the other two.”
Radio conversation
Chief of Naval Operations
#1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to
the North to avoid a collision.
#2: Recommend you divert YOUR course
15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.
#1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship.
I say again, divert YOUR course.
#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR
course.
Radio conversation
Chief of Naval Operations
#1: This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise. We
are a large warship of the U.S. Navy. We
are accompanied by three destroyers, three
cruisers and numerous support vessels. I
demand that you change your course 15
degrees north, or countermeasures will be
undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Divert your course now!
Radio conversation
Chief of Naval Operations
#2 This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Say the color, don’t read the word
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid,
aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what
oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny
iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last
ltteer be in the rgh it pclae. The rset
can be a taotl mses and you can still
raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a
wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
The Importance of Non-verbal Communication
7%
What Forms First Impressions
Albert Marabian- UCLA
“the words”
38%
“tone of voice”
55%
“body language”
Often stated as …………
93% of the meaning
comes from
non-verbal communication
and not the words.
However, that is NOT CORRECT
The communication of feelings and attitudes
(i.e., like-dislike)
Albert Marabian- UCLA
7%
“the words”
38%
“tone of voice”
E.g. Thanks a lot.
55%
“body language”
That’s just great.
A major limitation about NVC
On his website Albert Mehrabian
specifically states:
“Please note that this and other equations
regarding relative importance of verbal and
nonverbal messages were derived from
experiments dealing with communications
of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike).
Unless a communicator is talking about
their feelings or attitudes, these equations
are not applicable.”
Woman without her man is nothing
Woman
without her man
is nothing
Woman,
without her,
man is nothing
Who's on first?
Hu’s on First?