Relationship Development
Knapp’s Relationship
Escalation Model
Step #1: Initiation
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Very short (Sometimes just seconds)
Want to make favorable first impressions
Observe general appearance and mannerisms
Use standard greetings (Hello, How are you?)
Knapp’s Relationship
Escalation Model
Step #2: Experimenting
• Gain information through asking questions
• Decide whether or not to continue relationship
• Many relationships do not continue pass this
point
• What is your zodiac sign?
Knapp’s Relationship
Escalation Model
Step #3: Intensifying
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It is common in this stage to self-disclose
Relationship becomes less formal
Begin to see each other as individuals
Each person states the level of commitment they
have to the relationship
Knapp’s Relationship
Escalation Model
Stage #4: Integrating
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Instead of being individuals they become a pair
Others view them as being together or a pair
This is a shared relational identity
“We” rather than “I” or “You”
Knapp’s Relationship
Escalation Model
Stage #5: Bonding
• Formal or legal announcement of the
relationship is made
• Marriage
• Business Agreement
• Very few relationships will ever reach this level
The Practice of Relationship
Development
Phenomenological Approach:
Created by psychologist Carl Rogers
People draw close to others when their outward
behavior is congruent with their inner feelings
They unconditionally accept others for who they
are, not for what they do
They listen to what others say with the
understanding of what it’s like to be them.
The Practice of Relationship
Development
Rewards and Costs of Interaction:
The Social Exchange Theory
Situations in relationships where benefits exceed
costs
or
Situations where benefits equal costs
If benefits outweigh the costs, then the
relationship is more worthwhile and likely to
survive, than a relationship where costs exceed
benefits.
Duck’s Relationship Filtering Model
• Sociological/Incidental Cues: Restrictions on who
we meet due to where we live or work.
An example is Lesley has the same schedule as Dan. They see each other every
day. Lesley and Mark, however, have different schedules. Mark is a great
guy and Lesley might really have liked Mark more than Dan, but they
never had the chance to meet each other.
• Pre-interaction: The information we have about
people before we even meet them. This allows us
decide if we want to avoid them or meet them.
An example of this is Dan saw Lesley and thought she was very beautiful, so
he asked one of his friends about her. His friend told him she was very
smart and fun to be around. Dan also asked about the girl Lesley was
walking with. Dan’s friend told him that she didn’t have a very good
reputation and was not very smart either. This led Dan to ask Lesley out
instead of her friend.
Duck’s Relationship Filtering
Model
• Interaction Cues: Decide whether to include or
exclude person from possible relationships.
For instance: Once Dan and Lesley talked over their first few dates, they
decided they wanted to continue dating more seriously because what they
had judged about one another was positive.
• Cognitive Cues: The deepest level. Decide if
personalities match our own. Other person
becomes best friend or partner.
An example of this is when Lesley had a problem with one of her friends; she
came to Dan to talk about it. She and Dan shared the same beliefs about
the disagreement, allowing Lesley to trust Dan and feel they were on the
same level. She feels like she can confide in Dan and he will always
understand.
Knapp’s Relationship
Termination Model
Step #1: Differentiating
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Begin to use “Me” no longer “We”
Become more independent
Start own hobbies
Warning sign that partners need to address
status
Knapp’s Relationship
Termination Model
Step #2: Circumscribing
• Diminishing communication
• Couple still appears normal to others
• Attempts can be made to get relationship to a
positive place again
Knapp’s Relationship
Termination Model
Step #3 Stagnating
• Avoid discussing relationship because each
knows what other has to say
• Outsiders tend to notice that something is wrong
Knapp’s Relationship
Termination Model
Step #4: Avoiding
• Physically the couple separates from each other
• Avoid each other completely
• No longer attached to each other
Knapp’s Relationship
Termination Model
• Step #5: Terminating
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Last and final stage of the relationship
Can be a positive or a negative thing
Relationship is completely over
Could be a divorce or roommates moving out
Citations
Knapp, Mark. (1984). Interpersonal communication and human
relationships. Boston: Allyn and Bacon. Retrieved Saturday,
November 25, 2006 from Interpersonal Communication.
Duck, Stephen. (1985). Social and personal relationships. In M.L.
Knapp and G.R. Miller (Eds.) Handbook of interpersonal
communication (pp. 665-686). Beverly Hills, CA: Sage. Retrieved
Saturday, November 25, 2006 from Interpersonal Communication.
A first look at communication theory sixth edition Em Griffin.
McGraw Hill, New York, New York 2006. Retrieved Saturday,
November 06, 2006 from Don Lowe.
Clipartheaven Website. (2004). http://clipartheaven.com/. Retrieved
Saturday, November 25, 2006 from www.google.com.