Schools Where Everyone Belongs
Building positive peer to peer behavior
and inclusive school culture
Welcome to this training. I hope you find it useful.
NOTE: There are more slides in this handout packet
than we will use in the training, because I want to
respond to your questions and needs through this
workshop by going into more detail on topics of
interest. I have done my best to make the slides
clear and understandable by themselves. You will
find more information about slides we do not talk
about in my books and at stopbullyingnow.com, and I
would be glad to clarify and add more informationjust email me at stan@stopbullyingnow.com . I also
welcome your feedback, thoughts, and questions.
Thank you for attending this training, and thank you
for the work you do to make young peoples’ lives
better.
Social change is possible
What does the word: “normal”
mean?
In what ways have our ideas of “normal”
changed completely since 1810? Since 1910?
This workshop
• Summary of research
• Building staff-student
connections for all
• Protecting and supporting
mistreated students and
changing negative behaviors
• Empowering peer bystanders
Let’s hear from a mistreated student
who did get peer and adult support.
• What were her options?
• What did she do? Why?
• What did peers do? What else could they
have done that would have been less
positive?
• What did adults do? What else could they
have done that would have been less
positive?
• What was the overall outcome?
What is bullying prevention?- the state of the art as of:
• 1900 Tell targets of bullying not to tattle to us.
• 1970s- Build self esteem for all. Tell the students that
"mean behavior hurts." When they know it hurts, they won't
do it.
• 1980s- Tell students who are bullied to tell "the bullies" to
stop it. Tell students who are bullied to ignore it.
• 1990- Sit bullies and victims down together to "work things
out." Suspend "bullies".
• 1995 to the present- build schoolwide standards for
unacceptable behavior and consistent responses to that
behavior. Protect students who are treated badly. Build
staff-student connectedness and modeling. Teach students
how to get along with people they don't like. Build positive
behavior norms, bystander behaviors and peer culture.
Diana Baumrind’s research studied the effects of
four different types of parenting
H
Consistency and
Supervision
L
Authoritarian:
Consistent
expectations,
Low warmth and
involvement
Authoritative:
Consistent
expectations,
High warmth
and involvement
Uninvolved:
Inconsistent
expectations
Low warmth and
involvement
Permissive:
Inconsistent
expectations
High warmth
and involvement
L Warmth and connectedness H
Diana Baumrind’s research tells us that
four types of parenting have different outcomes
H
Consistency and
Supervision
L
Authoritarian:
Can follow rules.
Interpersonal
relationships can
be a challenge
Authoritative:
Resilient, caring,
and responsible
Uninvolved:
Likelihood of
aggression and
risky behavior
Permissive:
High self esteem.
Difficulty with
empathy and
frustration
tolerance.
L Warmth and connectedness H
Successful bullying prevention programs focus on
the same principles as Baumrind’s research
“The program strives to develop a school (and
ideally a home) environment characterized
by:
 warmth, positive interest, and involvement by
adults;
 firm limits to unacceptable behavior;
 non-hostile, nonphysical negative
consequences consistently applied in cases of
...unacceptable behaviors; and
 where adults act as authorities and positive
role models.” (Olweus,Limber 1999)
Which quadrant describes your school?
H
Consistency and
Supervision
L
Authoritarian:
Consistent
expectations,
Low warmth and
involvement
Authoritative:
Consistent
expectations,
High warmth
and involvement
Uninvolved:
Inconsistent
expectations
Low warmth and
involvement
Permissive:
Inconsistent
expectations
High warmth
and involvement
L Warmth and connectedness H
Youth who bully others
are not a homogeneous group. They include
• Impulsive/aggressive/angry youth without
social skills
• Calculating/intentional youth without
empathy (Frick)
• Youth who are responding to peer and media
definitions of what is funny and the idea
that some of their peers don’t count.
(Taffel, Twenge and Campbell)
ANALOGY:People who drink and drive are not a
homogeneous group
Impaired
driving by
addicted
drinkers
Impaired driving by
social drinkers
Where would you start to improve public safety?
After a successful campaign of consistent
traffic stops, follow-through with
consequences, and public education. The roads
are much safer. What are the next steps?
Impaired driving by social drinkerslarge reduction
Impaired driving by addicted drinkerssmall reduction
The parallel situation when many schools begin
addressing mean peer behavior systematically
Mean actions by
students who
have the skills to
behave well, yet
who do mean
things to others
because those
behaviors seem
normal and
enjoyable.
Mean
actions by
students
with skill
deficits or
who are full
of anger.
After the first phase of interventions
Mean actions by students who have the skills to behave
well, yet who do mean things to others because those
behaviors seem normal and enjoyable - large reduction
Mean actions by students with skill deficits or who are
full of rage - small to moderate reduction
Assets that lead to positive lives
Support: Youth experience people and places that are
accepting and loving.
Empowerment: Youth know they are valued and valuable.
Boundaries & Expectations: Youth have and understand
clear rules for responsible behavior.
Constructive Use of Time: Youth are involved in
enriching and structured activities.
Commitment to Learning: Youth believe that education is
important and engaging.
Positive Values: Youth care for others and hold high
standards for themselves.
Social Competence: Youth develop social skills to foster
healthy relationships.
Positive Identity: Youth believe in their personal power,
purpose, and potential.
http://www.search-institute.org/assets/
What works?
“Success [in bullying prevention programs] is
more likely to be achieved when they are…
applied thoroughly. What constitutes
thoroughness?
1. An anti-bullying policy and associated
program is carefully formulated and is
communicated to all members of the school
community.
“Do interventions to reduce bullying in a school really work ?”
(Dr. Ken Rigby, 2004).
2. Members of the school community accept
responsibility for carrying out the program
– and do so. In particular:
• Work is done on bullying with children in
classes as part of a planned curriculum.
• There is thoughtful attention continually
paid to how children relate to each
other, especially when there are
indications that bullying is taking place.
• Action is consistently taken to deal with
cases of bullying in accordance with an
agreed policy.
3.Thorough implementation is likely to occur
when:
• Teachers care about the problem of
bullying (Hence the need for surveys and
subsequent discussion).
• Teachers are meaningfully involved in the
development of anti-bullying policy and
know what they are expected to do.
• Leadership in a school produces a ‘whole
school approach’ in which coordinated
activities to address bullying actually
occur.”
First results from the Youth Voice ProjectCharisse Nixon, Ph.D., and Stan Davis
• Youth in grades 5-12 in 31+ schools all
around the United States.
• More than 13,000 students to date
• 22% report frequent verbal, physical, and
relational aggression toward them
• About half of these students (12% of all)
report that they were moderately, severely,
or very severely affected by that
peer aggression.
Results will be posted at youthvoiceproject.com
Schools surveyed for the
Youth Voice Project
What YVP participants tell us
• 12% of youth in grades 5-12 are moderately
to very severely affected by peer
mistreatment. NOTE: other 2010 research
by Juvonen says that bullied youth perform
dramatically worse academically than
nonbullied youth.
• Mistreated youth in our study who said they
felt connected to school were less likely to
report that peer mistreatment affected
them severely than did youth who said they
did not feel connected to school.
YVP -What mistreated youth did
• Pretending that mistreatment doesn’t
bother them and walking away were
frequently used strategies- but often had
negative effects and rarely had positive
effects for youth in elementary or middle
school.
• Pretending that mistreatment didn’t bother
them and walking away worked a bit more
often for high school students, but even at
high school level these strategies led to
negative outcomes about 1/5 of the time
YVP -What mistreated youth did
• Youth reported that telling their
tormentors to stop often made things
worse. Overall, this strategy led to
things getting better only about 1/4
of the time.
• Seeking support from adults and peers
had the most positive effects- but
only 2/5 told an adult at school. This
figure applies across grade levels.
YVP –effects of adult actions
• Being told not to tattle and being told that if
they had done things differently they wouldn’t
have been mistreated had the most negative
effects.
• Being listened to and encouraged by adults and
having an adult check in over time had the most
consistent positive effects at all grade levels.
• The helpfulness of telling adults at school and
of adult disciplinary and discussion-based
interventions varied from school to school. The
large variability in outcome data suggest that
how these interventions are carried out may be
very important in predicting their efficacy.
YVP –effects of peer actions
• Being told by peers that the mistreatment was
their fault or being teased for telling had the
most negative effects of any peer action.
• Being listened to and encouraged by peers, and
having peers spend time with them at school
were the most helpful actions used by youth or
adults.
• Peers calling at home in an encouraging way also
led to positive outcomes.
• When peers confronted mistreating youth or
asked them to stop, youth reported that things
got worse as often as things got better.
Help
aggressive
youth change
Support
mistreated
youth
Empower
bystanders and
build + peer
culture
Key elements of successful interventions
Build
connections
with all
students,
especially
youth at risk
Positive
feedback to
students;
maintain
positive feeling
tone
Consequences
for aggression:
•Small
•inevitable,
•predictable,
•Escalating
•Paired with
reflection
From The Wingspread Declaration
“Strong scientific evidence demonstrates that
increased student connection to school
promotes:
• Educational motivation
• Classroom engagement
• Improved school attendance
These three factors in turn increase academic
achievement. The findings apply across
racial, ethnic, and income groups.”
From The Wingspread Declaration
“Based on current research evidence, the most
effective strategies for increasing the likelihood
that students will be connected to school include…
• Applying fair and consistent disciplinary policies
that are collectively agreed upon and fairly
enforced
• Creating trusting relationships among students,
teachers, staff, administrators, and families…
• Ensuring that every student feels close to at
least one supportive adult at school.”
Use student survey data to assess connectness
“How many adults at our school do you
have a positive relationship with? That
means they welcome you to school and
you would go to them if you had a
problem.”
Choices: None, 1 or 2, 3 or more.
Goal: 5% or fewer report “none” and
results show equity between
subgroups
How many staff members do you have a positive
connection with? A middle school with an active
advisor-advisee
program
How many staff members
do you have a positive connection with?
middle school with an active advisor-advisee program.
None:4%
4%
One or
40%
two
40%
Three or more
56%
56%
Three or
One or tw
None
Students in a Junior High School saying they do not
have positive connections with any staff members.
27%
special ed
Native american
male
24%
19%
not spec ed
16%
female
15%
White
13%
2009
Students in a Junior High School saying they do not
have positive connections with any staff members.
special ed
Native american
male
not spec ed
female
White
2010
2009
Students reporting positive connections with no
staff members
2009
2010
% improvement
In special ed
27%
10%
63%
Native American
24%
14%
40%
Male
19%
12%
35%
Not in special ed
16%
11%
29%
Female
15%
10%
31%
White
13%
11%
17%
"I feel safe or safe most of the time at schoolNative American students
52% improvement
76%
1
50%
2010
2009
What we did to increase connection- 2009-2010
X Junior High School staff, Wyoming
• Knowing each student’s name, greeting them every
day, knowing something about their personal lives,
going to a sporting event and commenting about
their participation are all things that help
• Spent 1st 6 weeks of school in advisory going over
strategies for success in Middle School
• Student led orientations for all new students
• Guidance & Social Worker out at lunch consistently
interacting with students.
• Focussed on kids who seem to be “loners”.
• Being present in the hall every morning in the same
spot – consistently
What we did to increase connection- 2009-2010
X Junior High School staff
• Recognition of accomplishments throughout the
school
• Random acts of kindness recognition all year.
• New teachers with new approaches.
• Joking with kids and making personal recognitions.
• After school study hall.
• Individualized help at lunch recess on core classes
• Just being human and nurturing with them
• Hiring great new staff
Identify disconnected youth
Staff identify students they have
talked with about something beside
schoolwork in the past month.
Students on no one’s list need
connection.
Survey students: who would you go to at
school if you had a small problem?
Students who identify no one or just
one staff member need connection.
Connect staff with disconnected youth
Identify staff willing to be silent mentors:
silent mentors greet and check in with a
specific student more often and attempt to
build a connection.
Develop staff-led interest- based and
activity-based programming during the
school day, including interest-based
advisories and activity times.
Increase positive behavior feedback and use
of positive feeling tone by staff, especially
during discipline interaction. Increase staff
efforts to greet and welcome students.
Build staff-student connections
• Greet and interact: H*U*G
(Hello*Update*Goodbye)
• Use silent mentoring: H*U*G in a bit more
depth and more often with a disconnected
student
• Maintain positive feeling tone even in
dealing with negative behavior
• Use frequent positive feedback
Use feedback to build
connection, resiliency, and
positive social skills
Based on the work of Carol Dweck
Her two books:
Self Theories
Mindset
How we give feedback makes a difference
Our lives are shaped by the way we
react to the failures that we all
experience.
Some people are energized by challenge
or failure; some give up. Some people
keep focused on their goals; some don’t.
Dr. Carol
Dweck
Dweck’s research shows us the
connection between how we talk with
young people and their response to
failure and stress. Her work shows us a
way to help youth learn from their
failures.
How people interpret their failures shapes their lives
FIXED MINDSET
GROWTH MINDSET
I’m bad at math
I need to find a
different way to
learn math
I don’t have a sense
of pitch
I need to practice
singing in tune
I’m a bully
I hurt someone
I’m impulsive
I didn’t think
I’m not motivated
I didn’t work hard
I’m dumb
How do I learn best?
How people interpret their successes shapes
the way they interpret their failures
FIXED MINDSET
GROWTH MINDSET
I’m good at math
I pay attention
and practice
I have musical talent
I practice daily
I’m smart
I listen and ask
questions and think
I’m kind
I help people
I’m patient
I take my time
I’m athletic
I work out and
practice
Effects of different mindsets
Fixed mindset
Avoid challenge.
Motivated by displaying
abilities rather than by
learning.
Failures are threatening
and stressful.
Choose easy tasks and
courses. Refuses help if
needed.
Respond to failure by
becoming helpless.
Threatened by others’
successes.
Growth mindset
Seek challenge.
Motivated by learning.
Failures are seen as an
opportunity for learning.
Choose challenging tasks
and courses. Seeks help if
needed.
Respond to failure by
working harder.
Open to change and growth.
Inspired by others’
successes.
Our style of feedback influences the way
young people think about their failures
Feedback that
encourages fixed
mindset thinking
Feedback that
encourages growth
mindset thinking
You’re so clumsy!
Try another way (or try
working harder).
You called Jenna a …. I
think you hurt her feelings.
You got a D. What did you
do to make that happen?
How do you learn best?
You lost TV because you….
As soon as you…
You’re just lazy.
You’re not good at
math.
You are a bully.
You’re not motivated.
You ‘re selfish.
Our style of feedback influences the way
young people think about their successes
Feedback that
encourages fixed
mindset thinking
Feedback that
encourages growth
mindset thinking
You’re so smart!
 You got to work right away
and finished your project.
 After you sat with Sarah, I
saw her smiling.
 You practice the guitar.
 When he was yelling at you,
you calmed yourself down
and stayed out of trouble.
You are a kind person
You are talented
You are good at math
You are really a good
person
You have self-control.
Our words teach young people how to
interpret their successes
Fixed mindset
Growth mindset
You’re so smart!
You got to work right
away and finished your
project.
You are a kind person
You are talented
You are good at math
You are really a good
person
You have self-control.
After you sat with Sarah
I saw her smiling.
You practice the guitar.
When he was yelling at
you, you calmed yourself
down and stayed out of
trouble.
From a music teacher
“You should never tell students they have a
gift in music. If you do, they stop practicing.”
For more about how little “talent” really
matters, compared to effort and support
from others, see Malcom Gladwell’s book
Outliers.
Why does how we praise have
such a profound effect?
“What we praise shows what we value”
-Carol Dweck
What do YOU value? Does the kind of
praise you give reflect your real
values?
Do you value talent or effort and good
choices?
What’s wrong with I messages?
“I feel A when you B and I wish you would C.”
Adults’ I-messages tell our students: “You are
responsible for my feelings. Change your
behavior so I can feel better.”
I-messages used by targets of peer
mistreatment say to their tormentors: “You
have the power to hurt me by calling me
those names.”
-From the work of Dr. Jane Bluestein
Positive feedback that encourages a growth mindset
 Describe observed actions: “I noticed…”
“When the teacher told you to stop talking you
stopped.” “You asked questions.” “You encouraged
Tajandra when she made a mistake.”
 Then describe the observed effects of those
actions. What happened next?
“You stayed out of trouble.” “You did the next
problems correctly.” “She kept trying.”
Feedback focused on actions and outcomes is
empowering. Few of us know the impact of our
positive actions. When we understand how to have a
positive impact we are more likely to do so.
The lessons of personal history
Those who do not see or understand their
failures are likely to repeat them.
Those who do not see or understand their
successes are unlikely to repeat them.
A parallel approach to improving student
behavior: Video Self-Modeling
(Buggey, Seeing is Believing)
USING RULES AND
CONSEQUENCES
EFFECTIVELY
What DOESN’T work and what DOES work
• Punishments given
• Consequences earned
• Rules designed and
imposed by adults
• Student input into
behavior expectations
• Many warnings followed • Small, predictable,
by large consequences
consistent consequences
• Punishment based on
• Consequence based on
adult assessment of
actions and on potential
intention and character
harm of actions
• Context: anger, threat, • Context: hope,
and rejection
connection, caring and
teaching
Can we tell if a specific action is bullying?
“Bullying is a form of social interaction—
not necessarily long-standing—in which
a more dominant individual (the bully)
exhibits aggressive behavior that is
intended to, and does, in fact, cause
distress to a less dominant individual
(the target).”
Dorothea Ross (1996)
This is a well-respected definition, but how
useful is it in the moment in the hallway?
NOTE: In reality, all these circles intersect each other.
Girls fight, boys tease,….
Horseplay
Girls
being
girls
Boys
being
boys
Bullying
Teasing
Fighting
Harassment
Joking
How are educators supposed to tell the difference between
these categories of behavior?
Why is consistency important?
Consistency teaches responsibility and
cause and effect thinking.
Inconsistency teaches anger at those
who “gave us” a punishment.
Let’s keep it simple…..
Negative actions toward peers
Unacceptable peerto-peer behaviors
Harassment
Assault
Other illegal
acts
List negative peer behaviors in concrete
terms without focusing on intent or result
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Punching, kicking, and pushing down
Slapping, grabbing, and pushing
Making faces
Calling names about sexual orientation
Starting or spreading rumors (true or false
statements that are likely to embarrass)
Low-level namecalling (“You’re mean”)
Stopping someone from having friends.
(this is just the beginning of a list…)
Use student and staff input to sort these
behaviors by potential for harm
Survey students anonymously:
• How frequently have they seen each
behavior?
• What should staff do?
• What should peers do?
Survey staff anonymously:
• What should staff do?
Interventions for GRAY behaviors:
Staff may choose to
•ignore,
•advise,
•use mediation strategies if both students
have done something wrong,
•or use small, in-the moment consequences.
Some interventions for YELLOW behaviors:
The ten-second intervention (Saufler):
•“That behavior is not allowed here.” AND
•“Why don’t we use those words?”
Immediate micro-consequences:
•“Sit here to help you remember to…”
Structured discussion including aggressor and
target (and sometimes others) may be
helpful- use with discretion.
Remind youth of class behavior agreements
No tracking, no reports, no paperwork.
Note:
For young children (Pre-K , K, and 1),
almost all YELLOW, ORANGE, or RED
negative peer behaviors should be
addressed with YELLOW
interventions, with skill-building
programs like recess school and with a
review of social skills curriculum
lessons.
Interventions for ORANGE behaviors:
All staff use YELLOW interventions in the
moment AND
•Track repetition of these behaviors by reporting
them to the homeroom teacher, advisor, or team
leader. Person receiving these reports does NOT
have a disciplinary responsibility, but may offer
concern and advice to the misbehaving student.
•Refer to office at third ORANGE behavior by a
student in a year. Treat that student’s ORANGE
behaviors as RED from that point onward.
•Discussions between aggressor and target are
less likely to help and more likely to do harm.
Interventions for RED/repeated ORANGE behaviors:
•Consistent reporting expectation for all staff
•Administrator evaluates policy and legal issues
•Fair, consistent, and predictable earned
consequences paired with positive feeling tone
•Structured reflection process after consequences
to help students learn empathy and new behaviors
•Enlist parent support/ inform parent
•Develop individual action plan if behaviors are
repeated. Assess safety of others, build social skills,
explore and remediate other needs, find the most
effective supports, rewards, and consequences for
future negative choices. Build mentoring connections
and use frequent specific positive feedback.
A possible RED peer aggression discipline rubric
Behavior
1st time
2nd time
3rd time
Severe
and repeated Consequence Consequence Consequence
A
B
C
moderate
Most
Consequence Consequence
Individual
severe
B
C
and
Plan
retaliation
Illegal
Follow
Follow
Follow
policy and policy and policy and
law
law
law
Consequences may be more severe based on actual behavior
Effective rubrics
1. Are based on input from staff and
students.
2. Define behavior clearly
3. Avoid describing intent or impact
4. Make sense
5. Use small and escalating
consequences
6. Focus only on peer to peer
aggression
Protocol for RED peer to peer behaviors
Everyone
Reports
Administrator
investigates,
looks up
consequences
Copies of letter
describing
consequences sent
to parent, teacher
Counselor
or
detention
supervisor
helps the
student
reflect.
A protocol for investigation
and looking up consequences
GOALS:
• Student describes his or her own behavior
• Student looks up consequences for current
& future behavior
• Student calls parent/guardian to report
actions and consequences
• During the interview, administrator
completes letter home outlining behavior,
consequences, and consequences if the
student chooses the behavior again.
A frequent question: What if the
student says he or she didn’t do it?
 Tell the student that you will tell parent(s)
if he or she tells the truth
 Give the student a minute or two to sit and
think. Walk away and do something else at
this time. Avoid argument or confrontation.
 Ask again.
 If the student says no, either look up
consequences (if a staff member reported
the behavior) or interview witnesses one at
a time (if peers reported).
Issues and questions that often come up:
 What if you can’t determine what happened? Say
so, but supervise more closely. Don’t make a
determination based on how credible each student
seems, or based on the students’ reputations.
 “I did it in on accident.” Accept this as a statement
that the youth did not mean to do harm.
 What if the student blames someone else’s actions
for their behavior or says the other person
“started it”? Deal with each person’s negative
behavior, if it happened, and focus on what else the
student you are talking with could have done.
 What if the target says ‘I don’t mind- it’s OK.’?
Focus on potential for harm and enforce the rule.
Suggestions for involving parent(s)/guardians (1)
 Begin the conversation with: “I knew you’d
want to know.” Build connections and affirm
positive parental actions and intentions.
 Focus on the student’s specific actions
rather than on your assessment of the
student’s character or intentions. Focus on
other options the student had.
 Tell the parent/guardian specifically what
the student is doing right, even within
misbehavior.
Suggestions for involving parent(s)/guardians (2)
 When dealing with anger, ask “What would
you like us to do?” Keep asking.
 Find families roles as team members and give
them the credit for positive changes.
 Follow up: tell parents of positive changes or
choices after negative incidents.
 Enlist parent support in limiting media
exposure.
HELPING AGGRESSIVE
YOUTH CHANGE
THROUGH STRUCTURED
REFLECTION
Protocol part 2
Everyone
Reports
Administrator
investigates/
looks up
consequences
Copies of letter
describing
consequences sent to
parent and teacher
Counselor
or
detention
supervisor
helps the
student
reflect.
Help students develop empathy and positive behavior
Reflecting and writing about these questions helps
young people to think about their actions after
they know what their consequences are:
 What did you do? Goal: a simple declarative
sentence (I did X to Y) Tell me later about what
anyone else did to you. Leave out “only” and
“because.”
 What was wrong with that? (To build empathy, seek
sense memory: “What did she say?” “What did you
see on his face?” “What did you hear after you did
this?” “How do you know you hurt her?”)
 What problem were you trying to solve? (Use
multiple choice)
 How will you solve that problem next time?
Developmental stages in developing conscience
1. I own my own actions: “I hit her.”
2. I own the effect of my actions on myself:
“I have to be away from the other students
at lunch because I called him names.”
3. I own the effect of my actions on others:
“I hurt her.”
Often youth have to move through
these stages in order.
We often see stages in learning to take
responsibility
 Denial (“I didn’t hit him.”)
 Externalize (“I hit him because he said….”)
 Minimize (“I only tapped him.”)
 Accept responsibility (“I hit him. When he
said… I could have….instead.”)
These are examples of the four stages for the
first question in the reflection process.
What would these stages be for the other
three questions?
Helping young people learn from their actions
through structured written reflection
• This process is most helpful after students
know what their consequences are.
• Review the answer to each question before
the student moves to the next question.
• Stay calm and positive and disconnect from
power struggles.
What if the student will not write
about the questions?
Walk away to prevent power struggles.
Maintain neutral/positive feeling tone.
Calmly remind the student that the
consequence time does not count until he or
she finishes writing about the behavior.
Have something else to do and do it.
The student should do 70% of the work; the
protocol should do 20% of the work; the adult
should do 10% of the work.
Supporting targets of peer aggression
A highly recommended resource about
healing after trauma:
Linda Sanford’s book
Strong at the Broken Places
Support targets of peer aggression
The meaning that we make of others’ negative
events influences how much we are hurt.
• Connect, encourage, and recognize the
student for seeking help.
• Help youth to see that the aggressors chose
their own actions and are responsible for
what they did.
• Remember that advice given after
traumatic events is often perceived as
blame for not having done something.
Change words to avoid blaming the victim
Instead of “passive victims”, internalizers:
youth who take sadness and anger out on
themselves or who deal with trauma by
withdrawing from peers.
Instead of “provocative victims,” externalizers:
youth who seek to connect with peers or deal
with trauma through annoying or aggressive
behaviors.
Instead of “reactive victims,” anxious:
youth who react to trauma or stress with
intense sadness or fear.
Support internalizers
When students take sadness and anger out on
themselves and deal with trauma and
rejection by withdrawing from peers:
• Build peer and adult connections
• Encourage journaling, art, music, hobbies,
and other paths to self-healing. Resource:
Opening Up, Pennebaker
• Help mistreated youth shift from selfblame to accurate analysis of the situation.
Support externalizers
When students try to connect with peers
through annoying behavior:
• Maintain consequences for students who
hurt these students and for these students
themselves when they break rules. Hold each
person accountable for his or her choices.
• Teach social skills.
• Identify adults for these students to report
concerns to- avoid too much sympathy or
expressing annoyance with them.
• Build positive peer and adult connections.
Support anxious youth
When students react to aggression and
trauma with anxiety:
• Avoid blaming the student by saying “If you
didn’t cry they wouldn’t do it.” Instead,
teach mindfulness and self-calming as a
way to help the target feel better.
• If needed, evaluate for anxiety disorder.
• Build peer and adult connections.
Resource: Your Anxious Child: How Parents
and Teachers Can Relieve Anxiety in
Children; Dacey and Fiore
CLASSROOM
INTERVENTIONS
Classroom interventions
• H*U*G (Hello, Update, Goodbye) for all.
• Build connections between students.
• Have fun with your students to maximize
connection and learning.
• Follow through with behavior expectations.
• Build positive social norms through frequent
discussion of students’ positive actions, identifying
those actions as “the way we do things here.”
• Teach social problem solving skills and bystander
skills- directly and within subject matter.
Resource: the Second Step curriculum, K-8 . NOTE: Their
lessons about “bullying” do not reflect current practice.
The core of character education
“Values can only be taught by helping students
reflect on their experience.”
-Dr. Ken Rigby
Teach social problem-solving skills
•
•
•
•
•
Define the problem
Consider many solutions
Think ahead to see effects of each solution
Build a repertoire of successful strategies
Emphasize learning through observation and
reflection
“Teach youth how to think, not what to think.”
Dr. Myrna Shure
SOCIAL NORMS
INTERVENTIONS
Social norms interventions:
Peoples’ inaccurate or accurate perceptions of
peers’ attitudes and behavior often influence their
actions. Correcting negative misperceptions can be
a force for good.
??

Who benefits from peer norms interventions?
Selfdirected
Influenced by perceived
peer attitudes and
behavior
Selfdirected
Social norms theory
Peoples’ actions are influenced in destructive
directions by two cognitive distortions:
• “Pluralistic ignorance”- people perceive
other peoples’ attitudes or behavior as more
negative than they really are, and because
of this they do not follow through on their
own good intentions and values.
• “False consensus” – people perceive others
as approving of or sharing their negative or
destructive attitudes and behavior, and
thus increase their destructive behavior.
(Alan Berkowitz)
Resource: alanberkowitz.com
Social norms interventions
Gather local data about students’ attitudes
toward negative peer actions. Which
behaviors do they think adults should take
action to stop? Which behaviors do they
think peers should take action to stop?
Make sure the data presented is credible and
avoid contradicting it through scare tactics.
Communicate positive (>75%) findings in many
different ways over a long period of time.
Use negative findings as an indication of the
need for education and awareness-building
interventions
What both mistreated and mistreating youth
misperceive
Want aggression to stop
vs. Want it to continue
      
   
Target

Aggressor
      
  
    
     
  
How would this misperception influence each group?
How things really are- but how do we know this?
How can we convince our students this is true?
Want aggression to stop
Active

Target
A
Inactive



vs. Want it to continue
   
Aggressor
     
Use social
Middlenorms
Schoolintervention
2009 student when
survey:75% or more
basedaon
sexual orientation
ofNamecalling
students want
negative
behavior to stop
16%
Students who said
action should be taken
to stop this behavior
Students who said
nothing should be done
to stop this behavior
84%
Name calling based on race or religion
2009 student survey:
StudentIndirect
survey
-indirect
use of2009
biased language
use of biased language
“there should be consequences”
or “teachers should
discourage this behavior”
35%
35%
Students who said action should
be taken to stop this behavior
65%
Students who said nothing should
be done to stop this behavior
65%
“teachers should not
get involved”
Because fewer than 75% of
these students want the
behavior stopped,
education is needed rather
than social norms
interventions
What other survey questions would be helpful
for social norms interventions?
- I am glad our school has people from many
racial and cultural backgrounds.
- I believe GLBTQ students should be treated
respectfully here so they can feel safe and
learn.
- I believe fourth graders should or should
not have boyfriends and girlfriends.
- I believe that working hard in school is
important for me to have a good future.
- What else?
EMPOWERING
BYSTANDERS TO SAFE
AND EFFECTIVE
ACTION
A useful analogy: Neighborhood Watch
 Direct intervention in crimes is not allowed.
 Telling people in authority is welcomed and
people who tell are protected.
 Community members tell about patterns and
about specific events.
 When asked, witnesses tell the truth- and are
protected from retaliation.
 Community members support victims of crime
after the event.
 Neighborhood watch members find strength in
numbers.
A tool for classroom discussion
Bystander Cards
• An opportunity to structure ongoing
discussion about feelings and reactions and
to practice positive peer action
• Choose and create situations that are
appropriate for your grade level and school.
• Use repeated discussions and rehearsal to
build skills and awareness.
Available without cost from stan@stopbullyingnow.com
Clarify what we want bystanders to do …
• When hearing about a potential school shooting?
• When seeing punching?
• When hearing name-calling about race?
• When asked to spread a rumor?
• When asked to participate in shunning?
• When hearing indirect hate speech?
Involve staff, parents, and students in setting
community expectations for each action in
advance. Use surveys.
(Rethinking the Bystander Role in School Violence Prevention, Stueve et al,
2006: Health Promotion Practice, Vol. 7, No. 1, 117-124)
What do we want bystanders to do?
We can use anonymous surveys as a basis for
social norms interventions and to assess the
need for diversity training and other
educational approaches.
“Do you think youth should tell adults at
school if they see X?”
“Do you think youth should support others
who have X done to them?”
Middle School 2009 student survey:
Namecalling based on sexual orientation
You said:
17%
students should do
something, including
telling adults and
supporting targets
students should stay out
of it.
83%
2009 student survey:
Students
should
Indirect use of biased language
stay out of it.
36%
36%
64%
64%
<75%: Education is
needed instead of
social norms
interventions
students should do something,
Students
should
doand
including
telling adults
supporting targets
something,
including
students should stay out of it.
telling adults or
supporting targets
High school survey: what should students do
about indirect use of biased language?
Support positive action by peers
 Social norms interventions help students
understand their peers’ values.
 Clarify what the school and community want
bystanders to do in different situations. Use and
teach alternatives to the concept of ‘tattling.’
Emphasize safe and effective peer actions.
 Teach and practice specific skills for specific
bystander interventions in different situations.
 Support bystander action over time; help youth see
the positive effects of their actions.
 Mix interventions targeting all bystanders and
those focusing on selected teams.
EMPOWER YOUTH TO
BUILD POSITIVE PEER
CULTURE
Empower students to build positive culture
•Student-led research and peer norms interventions.
•Help students develop models for collegial
“classmate” behaviors with others they don’t like.
•Peer tutoring builds peer acceptance of youth in
special education
•Friendship teams; mentoring
•Activity times and advisor-advisee groups that
focus on building connections and on working
together toward important goals.
•Ongoing activities that bring students together
across group lines
Diversity and social justice initiatives include
• Student-designed diversity initiatives.
• Gay-straight alliances; girls’ initiatives; boys’
initiatives; discussion of sexual orientation and race
and class and disability issues. Examination of the
meaning of school traditions.
• Projects and connections across social groups.
• Connect classroom learning with the life of the
school.
• Identify and challenge your school’s negative
traditions and practices.
Strengthen student voices
REVIEW AND OVERVIEW
 Effective schools are consistently warm and
warmly consistent..
 H*U*G. Build connections.
 Teach students to take responsibility for their
actions and to notice the effect of their actions
on others. Teach students to monitor the positive
effects of their positive actions.
 Teach students how to think about social
interaction and how to create many ways to solve
problems. Teach empathy and collegial behavior.
 Help students create positive bystander actions.
 Model and articulate positive social norms.
 Create virtous circles. When we help others, we
think more positively about them.
Aronson, E. (2000). Nobody left to hate: Teaching compassion after
Columbine. Henry Holt
Berkowitz, A. Numerous articles about social norms interventions,
http://www.alanberkowitz.com
Davis, S. (2007) Schools Where Everyone Belongs: Practical
Strategies for Reducing Bullying. Research Press (second edition)
Davis, S. and J.(2007) Empowering Bystanders in Bullying
Prevention. Research Press.
Davis, S. Working with Young People Who are Bullied: Tips for
Mental Health Professionals- on line at
stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/HHS_PSA/pdfs/SBN_Tip_26.pdf
Davis, S. Working with Young People Who Bully Others: Tips for
Mental. Health Professionals- on line at
stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/HHS_PSA/pdfs/SBN_Tip_27.pdf
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success.
Random House
Dweck, C. (1999) Self-Theories — Their Role in Motivation,
Personality and Development. Taylor and Francis/Psychology
Press.
Frick P, White SF. The importance of callous-unemotional traits for
developmental models of aggressive and antisocial behavior. J
Child Psychol Psychiatry 2008; 49:359-375.
Kimmel, M., Mahler, M. (2003). Adolescent Masculinity, Homophobia,
and Violence. American Behavioral Scientist 46(10): 1439-1458.
Kleiman M (2009), When Brute Force Fails: How to have less crime
and less punishment, Princeton University Press
Olweus, D. (1993). Bullying at School: What We Know and What We
Can Do. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing
Sanford, L. (1992). Strong At The Broken Places. New York: Avon
Stueve, A., Dash, K., O’Donnell, L., Tehranifar, P., Wilson, R., Slaby,
R., et al. (2006). Rethinking the bystander role in school violence
prevention. Health Promotion Practice, 7(1), 117-124
Taffel, R. and Blau, M. (2002). The Second Family: Dealing with Peer
Power, Pop Culture, the Wall of Silence and Other Challenges of
Raising Today’s Teens. St. Martin’s Press.
Tavris, C. and Aronson,E. (2007) Mistakes Were Made, But Not By
Me; Harcourt
Twenge, J.M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic:
Living in the Age of Entitlement. Free Press.
A parallel: elements of fire prevention
• Fire and building codes
• Fire drills
• Fire awareness and
prevention activities
• Day to day vigilance and
action by everyone
• A trained and equipped
fire fighting team
• Learning from past
disasters
•
•
•
•
•
•
Which elements of bullying prevention parallel each of these components?
Could we omit any of these components
from fire prevention OR bullying prevention?