PREPARING FOR YOUR WEDDING with Pastor David N. Anderson at St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church 510 NW 16th Street Grand Rapids MN 55744 218-326-8508 St. Andrew's Wedding Policy for Members 1. The Pastor will conduct the necessary pre-marriage counseling sessions with the couple. 2. The time and date of the wedding should be established well in advance. $100 non-refundable deposit required within two weeks of securing date. 3. The music for the wedding should be discussed with the Pastor before any definite plans are made. Pre-recorded audio tapes are NOT allowed and CD’s are NOT recommended. The bridal couple is responsible for securing and paying for their own organist/pianist and soloist. (Pastor can make recommendations if needed.) 4. Those attending the wedding are encouraged not to take pictures during the ceremony. No flash photography allowed. It’s good to list this in your wedding program. 5. We have two brass candleabra which hold 7 candles each for your use. Any candles used in the ceremony must be dripless candles. Candleabra candles are available to purchase from the church at $3.00 each. Payment must be made for candles prior to the rehearsal. 6. We have a brass unity candle base which matches the altar candle holders and the candleabra which you are welcome to use during the ceremony. You will purchase your own candles for the unity candle set. 7. The sanctuary is designed to seat 300 people, but more realistically is 250 persons comfortably. Extra chairs can be set up if anticipating more people to attend the ceremony. Please let the church office know your anticipated attendance a week prior to the wedding date. 8. All decorations, personal items and gifts should be removed immediately following the ceremony by the bridal party. 9. No alcoholic beverages allowed on church property except for the celebration of communion. No drug use or possession allowed on church property. Police will be called if found. 10. No throwing rice; birdseed is allowed outside. 11. No smoking allowed inside or in close proximity outside St. Andrew's Lutheran Church. 12. The church will not be responsible for loss or damage of personal items. The bridal party is responsible for any damage to church property. 13. Charges for use of church and fellowship hall are as follows: (payable to St. Andrew’s) Church Sanctuary $0 - no charge to our members Custodial $150 $100 non-refundable deposit should be made within 2 weeks of securing the wedding date. 14. Full payment is required one month in advance of the wedding date. Please pay in the church office or mail to St. Andrew’s at 501 NW 16th Street, Grand Rapids MN 55744. St. Andrew's Wedding Policy and Fees Non-members 1. The Pastor will conduct the necessary pre-marriage counseling sessions with the couple. The Pastor's fee for conducting the ceremony and counseling is $200.00. 2. Weddings may not be scheduled more than 12 months in advance of the wedding date. $100 nonrefundable deposit required within two weeks of securing date. 3. The music for the wedding should be discussed with the Pastor before any definite plans are made. Pre-recorded audio tapes are NOT allowed and CD’s are NOT recommended. The bridal couple is responsible for securing and paying for their own organist/pianist and soloist. (Pastor can make recommendations if needed.) 4. Those attending the wedding are encouraged not to take pictures during the ceremony. No flash photography allowed. It’s good to list this in your wedding program. 5. We have two brass candelabra which hold 7 candles each for your use. Any candles used in the ceremony must be dripless candles. Candleabra candles are available to purchase from the church at $3.00 each. Payment must be made for candles prior to the rehearsal. 6. All decorations, personal items and gifts should be removed immediately following the wedding ceremony 7. No alcoholic beverages allowed on church property except for the celebration of Holy Communion. No drug use or possession allowed on church property. Police will be called if found. 8. No throwing rice; birdseed is allowed outside. 9. No smoking allowed inside or in close proximity outside St. Andrew's Lutheran Church. 10. The church will not be responsible for loss or damage of personal items. The bridal party is responsible for any damage to church property. 11. Charges for use of church and reception hall are as follows: (payable to St. Andrew’s) Church $300 Custodial $150 - no reception Fellowship Hall $150 Education Wing $ 75 12. Sanctuary pews seating is 250-300 people. Center aisle is approximately 50 feet long. 13. $100.00 non-refundable reservation fee due within 2 weeks of securing the wedding date. Full payment for church and custodian is required one month in advance of the wedding date. Please pay in the church office. Pastor David N. Anderson St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church Grand Rapids MN Pre-marital Counseling Sessions Plan on three 1 ½ hour meetings with Pastor David for pre-marital counseling plus additional time to plan the actual wedding ceremony. This could be a fourth meeting, or each of the three could be extended by 15-30 minutes. Meetings will revolve around the booklet “The Greatest Is Love – TalkPoints for Engaged Couples” . The cost for the booklet is $12 and will be paid for by the couple with a check written to “St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church” at the first or second meeting. The completion of this relational conversation guide meets the Minnesota 12-hour requirement for reduced marriage license fee. The other resource used is the online version of the Prepare/Enrich Inventory. The cost is $35 per couple and is paid by the couple online with their credit card prior to taking the inventory. Meeting #1: “Before We Say ‘I Do.’” Meet and greet: couple and PD get to know one another. Sharing a bit of our life stories. Introduce the two resources The Greatest Is Love Prepare/Enrich online inventory – to be taken prior to the second meeting The Greatest Is Love Review Introduction Complete written portion of “Before WE Say ‘I Do’” If someone finishes first they should begin filling out his/her “back ground” pages Face to face couple conversation about “Before WE Say ‘I Do’” Between Meeting #1 and Meeting #2 Complete next three written and conversation topics in booklet “The Greatest Is Love” Our Parents, Our Love Life, Leisure and Work Complete the Prepare/Enrich online inventory. Meeting #2 “Faith” Turn in the three conversations completed from the booklet “The Greatest Is Love” Do the written and conversational parts of the chapter “Faith” Go over the report from the Prepare/Enrich inventory Between Meeting #2 and Meeting #3 Complete next three written and conversation topics in booklet “The Greatest Is Love” Children, Money, Doing My Part Meeting #3 “Issues” Identity one issue that together you would like to resolve. Work through the chapter “Issues” from the booklet “The Greatest is Love”. Wedding particulars Between Meeting #3 and Wedding Day Complete the final written and conversation topic in the booklet “The Greatest Is Love’ “Our Wedding Day” Meet with PD about wedding details as necessary. WEDDING AGREEMENT FORM Pastor David N. Anderson St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church Grand Rapids MN Names ____________________________________ and ____________________________________________ Please write your full legal name – as it appears on your driver’s license Address: ___________________________________ ____________________________________________ ___________________________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________________ Phone # _____________________________________ ____________________________________________ Cell phone ___________________________________ _____________________________________________ Email _______________________________________ ____________________________________________ Wedding Date requested _______________________ Time _______________________ Rehearsal Date requested ______________________ Time _______________________ We have read the wedding information, guidelines and fees of St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church and Pastor David N. Anderson and agree to abide by the conditions stated. A $112.00 fee is required to complete this Agreement Form. (see below) $100.00 deposit $12.00 TalkPoints Please make check payable to “St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church” Additionally we understand that we will be paying $35 with a credit card for the online Prepare/Enrich inventory when we log in to completer the inventory. Signatures __________________________________ ______________________________________________ Pastor’s Signature ______________________________________ Date ________________________________ PLANNING YOUR WEDDING SERVICE THE CHRISTIAN WEDDING SERVICE proclaims God’s good news and celebrates God’s goodness and God’s grace. A Christian wedding is a time for your friends and family to worship our God who is the source of all life and the gracious giver of love and all gifts. During this worship celebration, you will pledge your lives to one another. THE CHRISTIAN WEDDING SERVICE is a corporate worship in that everyone is to be involved in the worship of God. THE ORDER OF THE CHRISTIAN WEDDING SERVICE The Officiating Pastor will guide you in planning your wedding service. The basic order of service follows. For many of the components there are several alternatives from which to choose. Music can be placed at a number of different points in the service, as marked by asterisks.(*) PRELUDE MUSIC During the prelude music the wedding guests and family of the couple are seated and the altar candles are lighted. PROCESSIONAL(S) During the processional(s), the wedding party enters. WELCOME - The Pastor welcomes the couple and all who are gathered INVOCATION The invocation invites and acknowledges the presence of the Triune God. INTRODUTION - This statement frames the rest of the worship service. DECLARATION OF INTENTION – This is the part when the bride and groom say “I do” or “I will” PRAYER OF THE DAY God’s presence is recognized at this time and in the continued involvement of the marriage. * SCRIPTURE READINGS Appropriate scriptures, selected in conjunction with the pastor, are read. See the section on Scripture readings for suggestions. You may wish to have a member of your family or a friend read. This is a way to include more people. * MEDITATION A short homily or meditation may be given by the Pastor. This is optional and can be decided upon after all other components of the wedding service are in place. Some couples feel that the introduction, blessings and prayers convey the element of Christian faith well enough. * EXCHANGE OF VOWS The bride and groom exchange vows. BLESSING OF RINGS GIVING OF RINGS UNITY CANDLE LIGHTING The Unity Candle, if used, is lit. * BLESSINGS Blessings from God are asked for the bride and groom. PRAYERS OF INTERCESSION AND THE LORD’S PRAYER God is called upon to supply the newly married couple with the spiritual gifts they need for marriage. The Lord’s Prayer may be sung. BENEDICTION A final blessing is given in the name of the Triune God. RECESSIONAL The Wedding Party exits. We encourage you to read the service carefully and to discuss together what the service says about marriage. The wedding service does allow for a variety of options. We are open to constructing the service that is most meaningful to you. If you have questions please ask the Pastor. The Pastor presides at the wedding service and therefore is the final judge as to what is appropriate. SCRIPTURE READINGS As an engaged couple, it is good to spend some time with the following list and a Bible to select those readings which have particular meaning for you. Most services include two scripture lessons. OLD TESTAMENT SUGGESTIONS Genesis 1:26-28, 31a God created male and female Genesis 2:4-11, 15-24 The fulfillment of marriage Genesis 2:18-24 Two in one flesh Song of Solomon 8:6-7a Love is strong as death Jeremiah 31:31-32a, 33-34a I will make a new covenant Psalm 5, 23, 34, 37, 67, 100, 112, 127, 128 Ruth 1:16-18 Where you will go, I will go NEW TESTAMENT SUGGESTIONS Romans 8:31b, 35, 37-39 Who will separate us from Christ’s love? Romans 12:1-2, 9, 18 Offer your bodies as living sacrifice I Corinthians 6:13c, 15a, 17-20 Your body is a temple of the Spirit I Corinthians 12:31, 13:4-8a Love is patient and kind Ephesians 3:14-19 Christian love Ephesians 5:2a, 21-23 (24-31) This mystery of Christ and His Church Colossians 3:12-17 Love, the bond of perfection I John 3:18-24 Let us love one another I John 4:7-12 God is love Revelation 19:1, 5-9a Happy are those invited to the wedding GOSPEL SUGGESTIONS Matthew 5:1-12 Matthew 5:13-16 Matthew 7:21, 24-29 Matthew 19:3-6 Matthew 22:35-40 Mark 10:6-9 John 2:1-11 John 15:9-12 John 15:12-16 John 17:20-26 Rejoice for your reward will be great The light of the world The house built on a rock What God has united man must not divide The greatest commandment No longer two but one body The wedding feast at Cana Remain in my love My commandment love one another May they be completely one This list of scripture readings is only intended to be a guide, not a conclusive list. MUSIC DURING WORSHIP The purpose of music in the wedding service is to help people worship God. At St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church we believe that the music should reflect and enhance the overall theme of the Service. Music selected should embody high standards of quality and reflect the praise of God, God’s steadfast love in Jesus and the foundation and model for marriage, and the asking of God’s presence and blessing. Secular music, popular love songs and show tunes are not regarded as suitable musical expressions for use during the marriage service. These songs may be reserved for use during the wedding reception. Another option would be to use them before worship begins (before the processional) or after the Benediction. CONGREGATIONAL SINGING The congregation attending the worship celebration should be encouraged to be active participants in the service through prayer, word, and music. Congregational singing of hymns is encouraged in view of the fact that hymn texts reinforce what is stated through scripture, prayers and the message. Solos need not replace congregational singing of hymns, but should rather supplement them. A congregational hymn sung as the processional and/or recessional makes for an outstanding statement of faith and also gives the congregation a chance to actively participate, rather than passively witness the service. If you want your guests to join in congregational singing, you might choose some of the following commonly known hymns from the hymnal Evangelical Lutheran Worship: Hymn #858 Hymn #654 Hymn #585 Hymn #656 Hymn #836 Hymn #818 Hymn #881 Hymn #632 Hymn #883 Hymn #533 Hymn #631 Hymn #840 Hymn #865 Hymn #765 Hymn #749 Hymn #748 Praise to the Lord, the Almighty The Church’s One Foundation Hear Us Now, Our God and Father Blest Be the Tie That Binds Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee O Master, Let Me Walk With You Let All Things Now Living O God, Our help in Ages Past All People That On Earth Do Dwell Open Now Thy Gates of Beauty Love Divine, All Loves Excelling Now Thank We All Our God Praise, My Soul, The King of Heaven Lord of All Hopefulness When Love is Found Bind Us Together Lord This list of hymns is only intended to be a guide, not a conclusive list. WEDDING OF ___________(names)_____________ __________date____________ ____Time______ PRELUDE PROCESSIONAL(s) A One song during which both groom (and parents?) , wedding party and bride (and parents?) process B. Groom (and parent?) and wedding party process on one song; bride (and parents) process on second song WELCOME INVOCATION We begin in the name of the Father, and of the son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. INTRODUCTION A Dear friends: We have come together in the presence of God to witness the marriage of name and name, to surround them with our prayers, and to share in their joy. The scriptures teach us that the bond and covenant of marriage is a gift of God, a holy mystery in which two become one flesh, an image of the union of Christ and the church. As name and name give themselves to each other today, we remember that at Cana in Galilee our Lord Jesus Christ made the wedding feast a sign of God’s reign of love. Let us enter into this celebration confident that, through the Holy Spirit, Christ is present with us now also; we pray that this couple may fulfill God’s purpose for the whole of their lives. B Name and name have come to make their marriage vows in the presence of God and of this congregation. Let us now witness their promises to each other and surround them with our prayers, giving thanks to God for the gift of marriage and asking God’s blessing upon them, so that they may be strengthened for their life together and nurtured in their love for God. We rejoice that marriage is given by God, blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ, and sustained by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, let marriage be held in honor by all. C The Lord God in goodness created us male and female, and by the gift of marriage founded human community in a joy that begins now and is brought to perfection in the life to come. Because of sin, our age-old rebellion, the gladness of marriage can be overcast and the gift of the family can become a burden. But because God, who established marriage, continues still to bless it with abundant and ever-present support, we can be sustained in our weariness and have our joy restored. D Beloved people of God, we have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the covenant of love and fidelity name and name are to make with each other. The union of two persons in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy, for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and that their love may be a blessing to all whom they encounter. This solemn covenant is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and with the commitment to seek God’s will for their lives. DECLARATION OF INTENTION The minister addresses the couple, asking each person in turn: A Name, will you have name to be your wife/husband, to live together in a holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live? Response: I will. B P R: P R: _______ do you intend to share with _______ your joys and sorrows and all that the years will bring? I do. _________ do you intend to share with ___________ your joys and sorrows and all that the years will bring? I do. Additionally you may wish to have the minister ask the families: Yes or No Will you, the families of name and name, give your love and blessing to this new family? The families respond: We will. Additionally you may wish to have the minister ask all those gathered: : Yes or No : Will all of you, by God’s grace, do everything in your power to uphold and care for these two persons in their life together? We will. PRAYER OF THE DAY A Let us pray. Eternal God, our creator and redeemer, as you gladdened the wedding at Cana in Galilee by the presence of your Son, so bring your joy to this wedding by his presence now. Look in favor upon name and name and grant that they, rejoicing in all your gifts, may at length celebrate the unending marriage feast with Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.Amen. B Gracious God, you sent your Son Jesus Christ into the world to reveal your love to all people. Enrich name and name with every good gift, that their life together may show forth your love; and grant that at the last we may all celebrate with Christ the marriage feast that has no ending; in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. C Eternal God, creator and sustainer of us all, give your grace to name and name. Grant that in the years ahead they may be faithful to the vows they make this day, and that in the strength of the Holy Spirit they may grow together in the love, joy, and peace of our Savior Jesus Christ Amen. * possible place for “special music” – singer or instrumentalist - or hymn for congregation to sing BIBLE READINGS (as many or few as you want) * possible place for a sermon - optional, depending on what else the couple chooses as far as options. Some couples want the pastor to preach a sermon, while others may decide that the rest of the service makes for a Christ-centered ceremony, and therefore a sermon is not necessary/desired. * possible place for “special music” – singer or instrumentalist - or hymn for congregation to sing VOWS A In the presence of God and this community, I, name, take you, name, to be my wife/husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, in joy and in sorrow, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn vow. B I take you, name, to be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us. C I, name, give myself to you, name. By the grace of God, I promise to support and care for you. In the love of Christ, I promise to love and cherish you. With the Spirit’s help, I promise to be faithful to you, as long as we both shall live. D I take you, name, to be my wife/husband, and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will share my life with you, through the best and worst of all that is to come, until death parts us. BLESSING OF RINGS A Bless these rings, O God; may they who wear them live in love and fidelity, and continue in your service all the days of their lives, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. B Gracious God, by your blessing let these rings be to name and name a symbol of their unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant they have made this day, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. C We give you thanks, O God of grace, for your love and faithfulness to your people. Bless these rings, that they may be symbols of the enduring commitment name and name have made to each other; through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen. GIVING OF RINGS The couple exchange rings with these or similar words: A Name, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness B Name, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow. With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE The presiding minister addresses the assembly: Name and name, by their promises before God and in the presence of this assembly, have bound themselves to one another as husband and wife. Those whom God has joined together let no one separate. Amen. (UNITY CANDLE/SAND/ ETC) * possible place for “special music” – singer or instrumentalist - or hymn for congregation to sing BLESSING The couple may kneel as the presiding minister prays for God’s blessing: A We give you thanks, most gracious God, for in your great love you created us male and female and made the union of husband and wife an image of the covenant between you and your people. You sent Jesus Christ to come among us, making your love visible in him, to bring new life to the world. Send your Holy Spirit to pour out the abundance of your blessing on name and name, who have this day given themselves to each other in marriage. Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their life and in their death. Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads. Bless them so that all may see in their lives together within the community of your people a vision of your kingdom on earth. And finally, in the fullness of time, welcome them into the glory of your presence. Through your Son Jesus Christ with the Holy Spirit in your holy church all honor and glory is yours, almighty Father, now and forever. Amen. B When a prayer for children is desired, the following words may be included in the blessing immediately before “Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts”: Give them the gift and heritage of children in accordance with your will, and make their home a haven of peace. C When children are brought into the family of the newly married couple, the following words may be included in the blessing immediately before “Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts”: You have given them the gift and heritage of children; make their home a haven of peace. D Most gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love in sending Jesus Christ to come among us, to be born of a human mother, and to make the way of the cross to be the way of life. By the power of your Holy Spirit pour out your abundant blessing upon name and name. Defend them from every enemy. Lead them into all peace. Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads. * possible place for “special music” – singer or instrumentalist - or hymn for congregation to sing PRAYERS OF INTERCESSION Prayers of intercession for the world and its needs are prayed.: A Seeing how greatly God has loved us, let us pray for the whole world. For the Christian community everywhere; for the life and ministry of the baptized, and for pastors, leaders, and servants of the gospel, that the church may be the risen body of Christ in the world. O God, source of all life, hear our prayer. For all communities everywhere; for our nation, for all those who govern and for all in authority, and for justice and peace throughout the world. O God, source of all life, hear our prayer. For those we love easily, and for those with whom we struggle, for those different from us and for those familiar to us, that we might be instruments of God’s peace. O God, source of all life, hear our prayer. For those who suffer in any way, and those who are lonely, for the sick, the dying, and those who are bereaved, for those who are poor, hungry, homeless, or unemployed, for the victims of violence, hatred, and intolerance. O God, source of all life, hear our prayer. For all those who are bound to us in love;for our families, friends, and neighbors, remembering also all who have gone before us (especially name/s). O God, source of all life, hear our prayer. Creator of all, you make us in your image and likeness and fill us with everlasting life. Hear the prayers of your people and grant to name and name grace to live in unity and joy all the days of their lives. We ask this through Jesus Christ, in the Holy Spirit, to whom, with you, one God, be praise forever and ever. Amen. B On this day of rejoicing, let us bless God for divine love made flesh in Jesus Christ. We praise you, O God, for the joy that name and name have found in each other and pray that the strength of their love may reflect your gracious love and enrich our common life. Gracious and tender God, hear our prayer. From your great store of strength give them power and patience, affection and understanding, courage, and love toward you, toward each other, and toward the world. Gracious and tender God, hear our prayer. Make them gentle and patient, ready to trust each other, and, when they fail, willing to acknowledge their fault and to give and receive forgiveness. Gracious and tender God, hear our prayer. Use us to support name and name in their lives together. Give us such a sense of your constant love that we may employ all our strength in a life of praise of you. Gracious and tender God, hear our prayer. Strengthen and bless friends and family gathered here, call to mind those separated by distance, console those who mourn the loss of loved ones, and be present with those for whom love is a stranger. Gracious and tender God, hear our prayer. Look graciously on the world you have made and for which your Son gave his life. Defend and guide all who suffer want or anxiety. Gracious and tender God, hear our prayer. We praise you, merciful God, for the saints, those who have died in Christ (especially name/s). Strengthen us by their example and bring us all to the marriage feast of the Lamb. Gracious and tender God, hear our prayer. Most gracious God, you have made us in your image and given us over to one another’s care. Hear the prayers of your people, that unity may overcome division, hope vanquish despair, and joy conquer sorrow; through our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. * possible place for “special music” – singer or instrumentalist - or hymn for congregation to sing THE LORD’S PRAYER Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen * possible place for “special music” – singer or instrumentalist - or hymn for congregation to sing BENEDICTION A God Almighty send you light and truth to keep you all the days of your life. The hand of God protect you; the holy angels accompany you; and the blessing of almighty God, the Father, the + Son, and the Holy Spirit, be with you now and forever. Amen. B The blessed and holy Trinity make you strong in faith and love, defend you on every side, and guide you in truth and peace,now and forever. Amen. C Almighty God, Father, + Son, and Holy Spirit, keep you in his light and truth and love now and forever. Amen * possible place for “special music” – singer or instrumentalist - or hymn for congregation to sing . This is also the space for any “secular” music. INTRODUCTION OF COUPLE It is my priviledge and honor to introduce to you……. A David and Gayle Anderson B Mr and Mrs David and Gayle Anderson C Mr and Mrs David Anderson RECESSIONAL POSTLUDE