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Anthony Velazquez
Professor: Susan Lago
Class: WRT 201-Composition II
Date: 4/26/15
Raymond Carver’s Story of Love
In Raymond Carver’s story “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” the title
hides a darker truth within. The first impression when thinking about relationships is something
positive and warm. Carver turns that instinct on its head and, instead of moving towards
affectionate and beautiful territory, makes us think of the darker sides of relationships. Despite
this knowledge, the audience is still made to hope that there is still a brighter side to the tale
hidden in a cold glass of gin. By using his dysfunctional characters, conversational writing style,
and experience with alcohol, the audience is forced to reconsider everything they once knew
about relationships and take a second look into Carver’s own past.
The main concern in “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” is that love
manifests itself in many different forms. Because of this, the characters and the audience struggle
to reach a clear consensus on what is the true definition of love and how it effect’s their own
relationships. Each character represents their own definition on love and makes an attempt to let
the others understand. For example, Terri saw her abusive partner in a gentle light and claims
that “It was love. Sure, it’s abnormal in most people’s eyes. But he was willing to die for it. He
did die for it” (Carver 333). Her affections for Ed and claims that love did exist in their tragic
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relationship suggest that love is painful and full of sacrifices to her. On the other hand Mel
disagrees with Terri and angrily claims that what she and Ed shared was not love, or even a
healthy relationship in the first place. His behavior is reflected in the way that he is a cardiologist
in the story, as seen in the way Nick admits that “when [Mel] was sober, his gestures, all his
movements, were precise, very careful” (Carver 332). His version of the tale is more violent and
descriptive. He taunts her image of love and says that he’s “. . .not interested in that kind of love”
(Carver 333). As Mel continues to drink gin, he elaborates more on what was and what wasn’t
considered a relationship in his eyes, which further complicates the group’s search for truth. Out
of all the characters, Mel is the least sure of himself and is the first and only one to admit that.
Raymond Carver’s work typically revolved around “the collapse of human relationships. Some
of his stories take place at the moment things fall apart; others after the damage has been done,
while the shock waves still reverberate. . .” (“Authors and Artists”), which suggests an
imbalance in the own author’s life. This is a stark contrast to Laura and Nick, who demonstrate a
more subtle love for each other. (Champion) That is all that matters to the two observers. Carver
cleverly ties in the meaning of love along with progression of the story through the characters’
experiences with relationships. During the group’s confessions, it is clear that no one can
unanimously decide that one answer is better than another, which complicates the story and
expresses Carver’s own imbalance and hesitance about what is a normal human relationship.
It is also important to note that as the story progresses, the blocks of dialogue increase
substantially. At its core, Carver’s story is heavily driven by its conversations. The story’s large
amount of dialogue reflects a freeness that can only be found in a glass of gin. Alcohol breaks
down the emotional walls and inhibitions of individuals, which results in unrestrained behaviors
and ideologies. Once again, we look back on Nick’s observation that “when [Mel] was sober, his
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gestures, all his movements, were precise, very careful” (Carver 332). As he continues to drink,
his movements and diction becomes more erratic—especially when it comes to trying to define
what love is and how healthy relationships should be. In one moment, Mel declares that he
would tell the group what real love was, however he requires the aid of gin to get the words out.
The group’s inability to speak freely without alcohol is representative of the incapability to
express a concrete image of a true human relationship. To this end, Mel ends his vague
explanation just like Carver ends his stories: “. . .with a sententious ambiguity that leaves the
reader holding the bag” (“Authors and Artists”). Emotions began to run high while the bottle of
gin runs low. The carefully constructed choice of dialogue breaks down into a more colloquial
tone. For example, in the beginning of the story Laura says “I don’t know anything about Ed, or
about the situation. But who can judge anyone else’s situation?” (Carver 331). Just like Mel’s
occupation as a cardiologist reflected his interest and knowledge of relationships, Laura’s
occupation as a legal secretary shows that she is more of a listener and observer. Her knowledge
of relationships is shown in her tender interactions with Nick. Later on in the story, however, her
high diction deteriorates to “I don’t think I’ve ever been so hungry in my life. Is there something
to nibble on?” (Carver 338) Gin has the ability to break down appearances and strip people bare
of their inhibitions, leaving only their raw emotions. It is from their individual behaviors rather
than actual words that we get a clearer picture of how the group considers what a relationship
should be like, most notably from Mel.
In “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” the group is warming up to the
intimate topic of relationships. It’s a slow process that is reflected in the way that there is more
description to fill space as opposed to extended dialogue. Even some lines, such as how “the gin
and the tonic water kept going around, and we somehow got on the subject of love” (Carver 330)
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is written in a way that draws out the syllables and reflects a sense of slowed time. Everyone is
treading on unknown territory. As the story goes on and as the characters continue to drink, the
sentences are shorter and more frequent. This change in sentence structure suggests the hastening
of time and the increase of activity for the group of drinkers. The irony in the increase of
dialogue about relationships is that nothing is learned. In essence, the group constantly beats
around the bush as they try to decipher what should be present in a proper relationship. To Nick,
a good relationship is when you “like each other and enjoy each other’s company” (Carver 332).
His idea of a relationship means that the two partners should be compatible and professional,
unlike Terri’s violent and unstable relationship. Since Nick and Laura are content with their take
on relationships even though they don’t understand it fully and cannot put it into words, Carver
gives them a limited amount of dialogue. This greatly contrasts against Mel’s constant
questioning and disbelief on the relationships he’s seen. His rapid fire words suggest he speaks
before thinking “as if to suggest the strain…newly felt things, fresh emotions” (“Authors and
Artists”). Mel is constantly trying to learn about relationships throughout the story, which shows
in Carver’s choice of dialogue and unanswered questions.
In addition to the slowing of time, the conversation progresses in a very linear fashion.
The story begins in a sunlit room with the alcohol prepped on the table for everyone to share.
The room opens up to the discussion of love in a relatively clean manner in the way it starts with
Terri’s explanation and Mel’s less-than-understanding input. This once again reflects Carver’s
own attitude when it comes to understanding how proper relationships are maintained; especially
those of in the romantic sense. Nick and Laura are simply observing the situation, but their take
on relationships is closer to how the audience would interpret as a healthy couple. However, their
dialogue is extremely limited compared to the other couple in the room, which emphasizes that
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Carver relates more to the erratic and confused behavior from Mel and Terri. As the light begins
to fade and the alcohol is almost gone, the sense of order in the room blurs. By this time the
characters’ energy are beginning to burn out and they’re left to sit in the dark both physically and
metaphorically on the subject of relationships. Despite this, “nobody made a move to get up from
the table to turn on the overhead light” (Carver 337). Nothing has been accomplished or
answered from the initial discussion, so Carver reflects this in the way the characters make no
move to brighten the room. However at the same time, the characters come to learn more about
each other. According to Carver, “time passes in agonizingly linear fashion, the chronology of a
given scene marked by one fraught and simple gesture after another” (“Authors and Artists”).
Within the haze of the alcohol that once helped the characters open the conversation, they come
to the realization that relationships cannot be accurately measured in what is right and what is
wrong.
In “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love”, alcoholism plays a big role not
only in its effect on the story but it’s connection to Carver’s life. Carver indirectly experienced
the effects of alcoholism at a young age through his father. Some of these encounters went to the
lengths of him being a “witness to his drunken father being knocked unconscious by his mother
with a colander as he attempted to enter the house through a window.” (“Authors and Artists”)
His experience with alcohol can be seen through the story and it helps give the story a deeper
meaning than just a group of friends discussing relationships. There is a sort of dependence on
alcohol in his characters that mirrors much of Carver’s life. Just as Mel strove for a sense of
balance and control in the story, Carver also struggled with the need to work and the need to
write, and therefore required alcohol to function. Because of his inability to balance these aspects
of life, his knowledge of relationships deteriorated. His writing, which acts as a reflection of
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himself, creates individuals who “. . .live on the edge: of poverty, alcoholic self-destruction,
loneliness.” (“Authors and Artists”) In “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” as
well as Carver’s personal life, alcohol is both a medicine and a poison. Individuals required
alcohol to speak, however with too much it is easy to fall apart at the seams. This was seen in the
way Mel’s emotional state was unstable as he sought answers to defining a proper relationship—
so much so that he lost the words to say. Carver’s characters “. . .feel this lack intensely, yet are
too wary of intimacy to touch other people, even with language.” (“Authors and Artists”) In
essence, the answer everyone seeks about relationships may be within that bottle of gin, but there
is a sense of hesitation and maybe even fear in saying the words out loud.
In the end, there was no right or wrong answer towards how to determine what is a proper
or healthy relationship. This elusiveness of the subject, however, brings the matter of humanity
to light. The focus of his ambiguous story was really to touch upon how individuals can change
their views over time, as was seen in the way the groups discussion of relationships changed as
the day went on and the alcohol disappeared. Carver’s decision to withhold a clear conclusion on
the discussion on love reflects his own personal struggle with relationships and inability to cope
with change without alcohol.
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Work Cited
Champion, Laurie. "Literary Contexts In Short Stories: Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About
When We Talk About Love." Literary Contexts In Short Stories: Raymond Carver's 'What We
Talk About When We Talk About Love' (2006): 1. Literary Reference Center. Web. 2 Apr. 2015.
McCaffery, Larry, and Sinda Gregory. "An Interview With Raymond Carver." Mississippi
Review 39.1-3 (2011): 228-247. Literary Reference Center. Web. 2 Apr. 2015.
"Raymond Carver." Authors and Artists for Young Adults. Vol. 44. Detroit: Gale, 2002.
Biography in Context. Web. 20 Apr. 2015.
Carver, Raymond. "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love." Literature and the
Writing Process. 10th ed. N.p.: Longman, 2013. 330-338. Print.