HOOPS NEWS
A publication of the Big Flats Youth Basketball League
January 8, 2011
MINORS DIVISION
Corning Photography
Shear Knowledge 4, 10
2,
3;
“I’d like to say it was great
defense,” said Adesh Tiwari after
his Shear Knowledge team held
the
formerly
high-powered
Corning Photography squad to a
combined 5 points over the two
halves played, “but it really boiled
down to narrowing the rim on the
hoop the other team was shooting at.
I can’t believe they didn’t question
it when my dad pulled out his
ladder at the half and replaced the
rims on the backboards. How
obvious could it have been?”
Whether it was great defense or a
little creative maintenance work
doesn’t much matter as Coach
Stevens’ squad prevailed in both
halves of this slugfest.
Shear
Knowledge was led by Grayson
Woodhouse’s 8 points and 2 each
from Cade Johnson, Adesh Tiwari,
and four from Ian Gagliano. “You
see my sky hook,” said “Gagliano
after the game, ‘learned it from
Kareem. It’s unblockable. I just
hang out under the rim where no
one can find me under the mountain
of taller players – even though I am
wearing this ridiculous banana
yellow shirt that makes me look like
one of those 25 cent gum balls –
and then I drop the sky hook on
them. They don’t even know what
hit ‘em.” Corning Photography
was led by Owen Juan’s 3 points. “I
missed Henry,” said Owen referring
to his younger brother and
teammate, “he does all the dirty
work leaving me for the open
three’s. Today I had to get my own
rebounds – of which there were
quite a few – and by the time I then
dribbled out to the three point line
for my bomb, my legs were shot.”
Corinne Carlisle gave a solid effort
in the contest. “I tried to steal the
ball from Sydney Boyles on the
other team. She’s so darn quick that
the only way I could distract her
was to hurl an American Girl doll at
her. I can’t believe they called a
technical foul on that.” Other than
the post game quotes, this game had
little to offer besides Woodhouse’s
dramatics.
After
the
game
Woodhouse uttered, “When does
baseball season? I think we could
have scored more runs in one of our
baseball games than we were able
to get points in this contest. At least
there are errors in baseball—here,
the defenses we face on a weekly
basis are superb.”
Big Flats Wesleyan Church 13,
4; TLF Graphics 12, 9
“GIRL POWER!!” said young
Kaitlyn Newell after leading her
Big Flats Wesleyan Church squad
to a first half 13-12 victory over
TLF Graphics. “BOY POWER!!”
countered an equally effusive
Connor Thorpe after leading the
comeback effort by TLF Graphics
in the 2nd half of this contest, 9-4.
This game featured all that the League
is striving to achieve: good play, tight
contests, serious efforts, and everyone
comes out a winner. Newell (6 points in
the half and 8 for the game) and
teammate, Max Keagle (4 points in the
half and 6 for the game) combined for
10 Big Flats Wesleyan Church’s 13
first half points. Tanner Fleet also added
3 in the big first half effort. “We had the
same coach last year,” said Fleet after
the game referring to him and Newell,
“he didn’t know jack. The guy this year
is great. Just ask him.” Not to be out
done at the post-game news conference,
young Connor Thorpe uttered, “16
points baby. But what gets me is the
Zachs on the team. Last year I was the
only kid on the team not named Zach
and this year we’re again a bit Zach
heavy. Thank God Jonas Mis is around
to keep thing under control and orderly
or else practices would be completely
out of control.” Said Jonas when
informed of the compliment, “I’m glad I
can help. My method is simple. If
someone’s acting unruly, I just tackle
him.” TLF Graphics also got strong
contributions from Zach Augustine (3
points), Zach Adams (2 points), Serfino
Menard (no points but a huge defensive
rebound to seal the deal in the second
game), and Alison Beck who uttered
after the game, “You can’t just look at a
box score to see a person’s contribution
to a game. It’s a total team effort and
I’m glad to have played my part. Now,
where are the donuts?”
Personius Warne Studio 14, 13;
Corning Dental Associates 6, 4
“Mr. and Ms. Smith could have played
in Washington today, couldn’t they?”
said Personius Warne Studio Coach
Ryan after the game. Taysha (5 points)
and Jarid (8 points) “You couldn’t have
covered them with a blanket. They were
on fire.” And so they were as the
Personius Warne Studio squad,
seemingly gaining a handle on the
complex Rice offense featuring the allhuddle inbounds pass play cruised to the
victory. Jordan Rice (4 points) and
Wesley Radford (6 points) were big
contributors in this contest for
Personius Warne Studio. “We’ve
played on so many teams together,” said
Radford of Rice, “I’m beginning to
wonder if my dad’s Tom or Ryan, or if
he’s me, or if Rice comes before
Radford in the alphabet, or if up is down.
It’s all just darn confusing.” They didn’t
look confused as Nicholas Harvey (2
points) and Zach Terlaje (2 points)
helped lead Personius Warne Studio to
the W. After the game, Hannah Ott said,
“This whole place is nuts. I moved here
from a clean, safe and secure
environment and now I found myself in
a neighborhood where there’s a bunch
of wild boys who run around like
lunatics playing wiffle ball and
basketball games as if their livelihood
depended on it. What’s happened to
me?”
On the other side of the ball, Ronnie
Harshbarger of Corning Dental said
after the game, “Getting a good alleyoop pass against a tough defensive team
like Personius Warne is like pulling
teeth. It’s not something that’s easily
done. They didn’t play D like this in
China. Maybe if I hit them with my
new cricket bat or blasted them with a
paintball pellet it’d be easier to get
open.” But Bryce Derick (4 points)
gave it the old college effort in the
losing effort. “I thought it was a 5K,”
said Derick after the game, “I was
saving my legs for the final stretch.
Now dad’s going to make me run
home.” Eli Detrick of Corning
Dental also had a solid game albeit in
a losing effort. “That’s okay,” said
Detrick afterwards, “every dog has his
day and this dog ain’t done yet!!”
Miniers 12, 14; Pump Doctors 6, 8
“They’re in my head right now,”
admitted Kara Six of Pump Doctors
after the game, “I pull up for a sweet J
and the defense shouts ‘THREE!!’
and I shoot the ball halfway to the
hoop. I just can’t get over the mental
block.” “Six will figure it out,” said
Pump
Doctors
Coach
Mark
Romanski, “she’s got to work on
hitting the easy two’s, taking the
three’s when they’re available, and
capitalizing on the four-point plays
when they present themselves. Six is
all flustered with this number thing.”
Ignoring the numbering confusion for
the time being, this game was tight
with Coach James Boyles’ Minier’s
squad clinging to 12-6 lead at the half.
“I knew they could bring Six off the
bench at any time and that the lead
would be instantly wiped out so I just
had to avoid that digit. It wasn’t
easy.” Boyles’ Minier’s squad was
led by Jake Hall, Delanie Rogers, and
Zach Malzeke each of whom had —
you guessed it—SIX points. Madison
Rogers, Matt Carlisle, and Zach Pastel
each contributed 2 each—adding up
to a combined SIX points among
them. On the other side of the floor,
Romanski’s Pump Doctors squad
was led by Jillian Casey’s SIX points.
Even though Casey’s team was
ultimately deep-sixed by the Minier’s
squad, she got help from a bucket by
Emelia Groosvenor, Rob Darmstadt,
and Hayden Robinson, who had a
total of four points in the contest. “I
really regret hitting that last fadeway
jumper in the corner, Kobe-esq style,”
said Robinson, “it would have been
great to have another six points to
write about.”
MAJORS DIVISION
MAJORS DIVISION
HIGH SCORERS
Jordan Stander........................ 12
Tyler Stander.......................... 12
Justin Bauco ........................... 11
Matt Corcoran .......................... 9
Pete Whitson ............................ 9
The following players all scored
8 points in last week’s contest:
Gavin Dewitt, Keegan Ernest,
Josh Graham, Brewster
Marshall, Thomas Meighan,
Nate Nalbach, Logan Petrie,
Collin Raner
J&B Landscaping 34; Papa
Dale’s 28
“We’re like Scooter and Rodney
McRay,”
said
J&B
Landscaping’s Jordan Stander
(12 points) after the game. When
told that nobody in attendance at
the post-game news conference
appreciated or understood his
reference, Stander revised course,
“okay, Laurel and Hardy? How
about Tyler and Dean? Maybe
Abbot and Costello? Mutt and
Jeff? Whatever. We’re good.”
That they are as the Stander Bros.,
Jordan and Tyler, again led the
J&B Landscaping with 12
points each in this 34-28 victory.
The highlight of the game was
Nathan Watts scoring 2 points,
his first of the season,
supplemented by 2 from Zac
Scibek, Anthony Snowburg (4 for
the game), and Zack Jacobs. “I
knew it was in from the moment
it left my left hand at the
defensive end of the court,” said
Watts afterwards, “they don’t call
me automatic just because it
rhymes with Watts.”
This game was close throughout.
Rick Newell’s Papa Dale’s squad
struggled in the 1st quarter
mustering only 2 points in the
quarter to J&B Landscaping’s
12. But Papa Dale’s dropped 18
in an explosive 2nd quarter to
narrow the half time deficit to
two. At that point Jordan Stander
said “enough is enough’ as he
scored 8 of his team’s twelve
points in the second half while
J&B Landscaping held the
opposition to eight points to
secure the win. “This was a good
tune up for next week,” said
Jamal Spear after the game,
“although I have no idea how I
got four fouls in four minutes of
play. Is that some sort of a
record?”
Personius Warne Studio 28;
Cedar Street Mfg 19
Gavin Dewitt, Keegan Ernest,
and Josh Graham led a balanced
attack from Personius Warne
Studio scoring eight points
apiece in a victory over Cedar
Street Manufacturing. Ernest
and Graham split their points
evenly by half while Dewitt had
the audacity to score 6 in the first
Editor’s Note: Please be advised that all quotes attributed to players, coaches, fans, referees, and parents in Hoops News are 100% fictitious, meant entirely for
the enjoyment of the readers, and of course, failing that, the editor. No offense is ever intended; although inevitably some may be taken. Hoops News is
published by the Big Flats Youth Basketball League for the enjoyment of our players and their families. It is available on line at the league’s website:
www.bfybl.org. Best wishes to Logan Winningham of our Modified Division who is now on season-ending injured reserve after suffering multiple leg fractures
in a skiing accident over the recent holiday break. “I still don’t understand why I’m on IR,” said Winningham when asked how he was feeling, “I measured it
out. The distance from my house to the gym is 1.6 miles. You open my front door, the door to the school, and the gym door and I guarantee I can shoot 50%
from my bed. The only thing that concerns me is the direction of the wind. It’s hard to adjust for that when it swirls like to does around here.”
HOOPS NEWS
A publication of the Big Flats Youth Basketball League
January 8, 2011
half. “We kept yelling ‘Balance!!’
at Gavin during the first half,” said
Graham afterwards, “but he
wouldn’t listen. He was on fire. He
got his six in that half and then
needed a breather.” Claire Ratzlaff
also added 4 in the victory for the
Personius Warne Studio squad to
round out the scoring. Christian
Quick, Nick Crossland, Luke
Gromer, and Allie Strollo played
tenacious defense to help lead
Personius Warne Studio to the
win.
Coach Reggie Kornegay’s Cedar
Street Manufacturing team was
led by Logan Petrie’s eight points.
“Eight’s Enough may have been
decent television show in the 70’s,”
said Petrie afterwards, “but next
time I’m going to get 20 and the
W.” Roger Licuta added three for
Cedar Street Manufacturing
while Nate VanBrunt dropped six
on the opposition. Alexis Gethin
also added a bucket in the losing
effort.
guys were all over the ball. I wonder if
it’s possible to press charges. Isn’t it
grand theft to steal the ball more than 12
times in a single contest? I was thinking
the cops would show up in the 3rd
quarter, arrest the entire opposing squad,
and we’d have the opportunity to run an
uncontested layup drill for the rest of
the game. Next time I’ll let the coach
draw up the game strategy.”
Bye: Big Flats ROCKS!!
MAJORS DIVISION
STANDINGS (games towards
standings begin week of Jan. 8)
Big Flats ROCKS ........................... 0-0
Cedar Street Manufacturing............ 0-0
J&B Landscaping ........................... 0-0
Papa Dale’s ..................................... 0-0
Personius Warne Studio ................. 0-0
Simmons Rockwell ......................... 0-0
Twin Tier Drywall .......................... 0-0
Simmons Rockwell 37; Twin
Tier Drywall 28
“An injustice!! Unfair! I want a
State commission formed to
investigate this incident and report
back. I demand an apology from the
editor!” Simmons Rockwell’s Ben
Burlew was hot before this week’s
contest and he took his aggravation
out on the Twin Tiers Drywall
team. “I had 12 points in last
week’s game and I got credited for
only 8. I’m not going to take the old
‘We Confused You With Your
Identical Twin Brother’ excuse this
time—he wasn’t even there!
There’s no way they could have
confused us. Those points were all
mine. As the seagulls in Nemo said:
‘Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.’
By the way, I’ve got end this news
conference
now
because
I
accidentally put Matt’s shoes on
this morning and his feet reek!”
Simmons Rockwell was led in this
contest by Justin Bauco’s 11 points
but this was a total team effort.
Elliot Tuazon hustled and played
tough defense throughout. Mitchell
Vargas also played tough defense
and had 5 steals. Matt (Not Ben)
Burlew had 4 points, 6 steals and a
rebound. Brother Ben contributed 4
points (we think) in this contest and
had a steal and 2 rebounds. Jason
Drapikowski (6 points) showed his
wheels with 5 steals and a rebound.
Ben Adams had 2 points, 2 steals
and 3 rebounds. After the game,
Nate Nalbach (8 points) said “It was
tiring just watching those guys run
up and down the floor.”
On the other side of the court,
Coach Randy Raner’s Twin Tier
Drywall team was led by the Big
Four: Brewster Marshall (8 points),
Thomas Meighan (8 points), Collin
Raner (8 points), and Donovan
(Sweet) Johnson (4 points). “We’ll
have to do a better job protecting
the ball,” said Twin Tier Drywall’s
Alex Derry after the contest, “those
In addition to the offensive outburst
from Reynolds, team Andryshak got
contributions from nearly everyone on
the roster and seemingly some from
the crowd too. Their list of scorers is
long including Kolleen Vogel (10
points), Josh Russen (4 points), and
Alex Malzeke (6 points).
On the flip side, Stein’s squad is
beginning to get contributions from
nearly the entire roster. Alec Cutler
threw down 4 points including two
clutch free throws from the charity
stripe. “They’re like penalty shots,”
said Cutler afterwards, “if you don’t
shoot 50% from the free throw line,
you’d better be 7 feet tall and weigh
340lbs. By the way, he never did
show up. We could have used some
more mass under the basket.” Allyson
Marshall had 3 points, Kyle
Drapikowski dropped a deuce (“I did
not,” said Drapikowsi afterwards),
and Takoda Hall added 4 points.
Trevor Gagliano collected a foul in
this contest. “Whatever it takes to get
into the scorebook, that’s why I do.
I’ll contribute any way I can. At least
I don’t look like a gum ball, though.”
BC Electric 33; Payroll Services
16
MODIFIED DIVISION
MODIFIED DIVISION
HIGH SCORERS
Evan Stiles ....................................... 23
Asa Cadwaller (Game Two) ............ 18
Austin Teets ..................................... 18
Jake Reynolds .................................. 18
Logan Winningham ......................... 14
Patrick Condon ................................ 11
Austin Andryshak ............................ 10
Derek Stein ........................................ 9
Andryshak Consulting 46; Payroll
Services 29
“It was clash of the Titans,” was how
Coach Tammie Stein summed up this
contest which featured a head-to-head
duel between Andryshak Consulting’s
Jake Reynolds (18 points) and Payroll
Services’s Asa Cadwaller (16 points).
“My
defense
was
completely
discombobulated when I told them to
watch out for ‘Shaq.’ They stopped
guarding their man and started looking
at the entrance to the gym. I finally
figured out they were looking for a 7
foot, 340lb center to come on the floor
to our rescue. But I was just telling them
to make sure they covered Austin
Andryshak (10 points) who I know likes
to put up the three. By the time we
sorted through that confusion, they had
doubled us up 34-17 at the end of three.
But you’ll note we played evenly with
them in the 4th period. We’re coming
along.”
“‘TEETSER!
TEETSER!
TEETSER!’ It was all I could hear off
the gym walls. I even found myself
rooting for the dude, and he was
drubbing us single-handedly!!” said
Payroll Services’ Alec Cutler (2
points). “If we could only use our feet
in this silly game, I’d show him a
thing or two. Maybe even three!”
Such was not the case though, as this
basketball game featured a dominant
performance from BC Electric’s
Austin Teets (18 points). “Everybody
calls me ‘Little Teets,’” said Austin,
“but we all know that I’m already
taller than my old man. By the way, I
just saw Ian Gagliano in a bright
yellow shirt. He looks like a 50 cent
gum ball. My dad drives a truck as
yellow as that shirt. Is he sponsoring
that team?”
The outcome of this game was never
in doubt as BC Electric jumped to a
12-4 lead after the first quarter led by
Little Teets’ 8 points and 4 from
Steve Cardamone (8 points for the
game). Heroic efforts from Derek
Stein (9 points) and Asa Cadwaller,
Alec Cutler, and Takoda Hall (2
points each) were not enough to stem
the rising tide. Stein and Co.
narrowed the deficit in the 2nd quarter
in which they outscored the beefier
BC Electric team 6-5. The beating
under the boards proved taxing to
Payroll Services during the second
half when they were outscored by ten.
Little Teets effectively ended the
drama in the 3rd quarter when he
pumped in 10 of his team’s 12 points.
Calvin Halm added a bucket during
the quarter for the victors. Dustin
McCullough hit a 2-pointer in the
fourth quarter to close out the scoring
for BC Electric.
Head & Tails Lures 46; Pizza
Pickup 42
Evan Stiles scored 23 points to
lead Heads & Tails Lures to a
thrilling 4-point overtime victory
over Pizza Pickup who was led
by Logan Winningham’s 14
points. “I was feeling it,” said
Winningham after the game. “I
just wish there was more in the
gas tank for the OT period
because I would have liked to
have gotten that win. I got a little
winded towards the end and it
affected the lift in my J.”
The game was tight from the start
with Heads & Tails clinging to a
13-12 lead after the 1st quarter.
Ian Cook (6 points) and
Winningham led their respective
teams in the quarter which was
highlighted by a 3-pointer from
Patrick (Ding Dong) Condon.
“Inside threat, my eye,” Condon
was heard muttering after his 11point effort in the game. At the
half, Pizza Pickup had grabbed a
slim slice 1-point lead led by 4
points from Brendan Marshall,
including two free throws.
“Should have had four,” said
Marshall, “they call it a ‘charity
stripe’ for a reason.”
After the 3rd quarter it looked like
Pizza Pickup had secured the
game with a 14 point surge led by
four points from Winningham
and Nick Ketter who had 6 in the
game. “We took our foot off the
pedal and started dreaming of the
boneless wings at Pizza Pickup,”
said Coach Mike Winningham,
“It all went downhill from there.”
Heads & Tails is developing a
reputation as a late surging team
and they came through true to
form in this one outscoring Picnic
Pizza by 8 in the 4th quarter to
force overtime. Superman Stiles
and Ding Dong Condon led the
surge with 6 and 4 points,
respectively.
Winningham’s
bucket and one from Avery
Nelson were not enough to
overcome the strong effort from
the Heads & Tails squad. Having
squandered the lead, the overtime
period was a fait accompli as
Picnic Pizza could only muster 4
points in the extra session, two
each from Kenan Jude and
Brendan Marshall.
MODIFIED DIVISION
STANDINGS
BC Electrical, Inc. ............. 2-0
Andryshak Tax.................. 1-0
Heads & Tails Lures ......... 1-1
Pizza Pickup...................... 1-1
Payroll Services, Inc. ........ 0-3
Editor’s Note: Please be advised that all quotes attributed to players, coaches, fans, referees, and parents in Hoops News are 100% fictitious, meant entirely for
the enjoyment of the readers, and of course, failing that, the editor. No offense is ever intended; although inevitably some may be taken. Hoops News is
published by the Big Flats Youth Basketball League for the enjoyment of our players and their families. It is available on line at the league’s website:
www.bfybl.org. Best wishes to Logan Winningham of our Modified Division who is now on season-ending injured reserve after suffering multiple leg fractures
in a skiing accident over the recent holiday break. “I still don’t understand why I’m on IR,” said Winningham when asked how he was feeling, “I measured it
out. The distance from my house to the gym is 1.6 miles. You open my front door, the door to the school, and the gym door and I guarantee I can shoot 50%
from my bed. The only thing that concerns me is the direction of the wind. It’s hard to adjust for that when it swirls like to does around here.”