10 Most Historically Inaccurate Movies
*accordingly to a survey published on www.yahoo.com
10,000 B.C.
Director Roland Emmerich is usually a stickler for realism. So we hate to inform
him that woolly mammoths were not, in fact, used to build pyramids. Heck, woolly
mammoths weren't even found in the desert. They wouldn't need to be woolly if
that were the case. And there weren't any pyramids in Egypt until 2,500 B.C or
so.
Gladiator
Emperor Commodus was not the sniveling sister-obsessed creep portrayed in
the movie. A violent alcoholic, sure, but not so whiny. He ruled ably for over a
decade rather than ineptly for a couple months. He also didn't kill his father,
Marcus Aurelius, who actually died of chickenpox.
300
Though this paean to ancient moral codes and modern physical training is based
on the real Battle of Thermopylae, the film takes many stylistic liberties. The most
obvious one being Persian king Xerxes was not an 8-foot-tall Cirque du Soleil
reject. The Spartan council was made up of men over the age of 60, with no one
as young as Theron (played by 37-year-old Dominic West). And the warriors of
Sparta went into battle wearing bronze armor, not just leather Speedos.
The Last Samurai
The Japanese in the late 19th century did hire foreign advisers to modernize their
army, but they were mostly French, not American. Ken Watanabe's character
was based on the real Saigo Takamori who committed ritual suicide, or
"seppuku," in defeat rather than in a volley of Gatling gun fire. Also, it's doubtful
that a 40-something alcoholic Civil War vet, even one with great hair, would
master the chopsticks much less the samurai sword.
Apocalypto
This one movie has given entire Anthropology departments migraines. Sure the
Maya did have the odd human sacrifice but not to Kulkulkan, the Sun God, and
only high-ranking captives taken in battle were killed. The conquistadors arriving
at the end of the film made for unlikely saviors: an estimated 90% of indigenous
American population was killed by smallpox.
Memoirs of a Geisha
The geisha coming-of-age, called "mizuage," was really more of a makeover,
where she changed her hairstyle and clothes. It didn't involve her getting...
intimate with a client. In the climactic scene where Sayuri wows Gion patrons
with her dancing prowess, her routine - which involves some platform shoes, fake
snow, and a strobe light - seems more like a Studio 54 drag show than anything
in pre-war Kyoto.
Braveheart
Let's forget the fact that kilts weren't worn in Scotland until about 300 years after
William Wallace's day and just do some simple math. According to the movie,
Wallace's blue-eyed charm at the Battle of Falkirk was so overpowering, he
seduced King Edward II's wife, Isabella of France, and the result of their affair
was Edward III. But according to the history books, Isabella was three years old
at the time of Falkirk, and Edward III was born seven years after Wallace died.
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
In 1585, when the movie takes place, Queen Elizabeth was 52 years old - Cate
Blanchett was 36 when she shot the film - and was not being courted by suitors
like Ivan the Terrible (who was dead by then). And though the movie has her
rallying the troops at Tilbury astride a white steed in full armor with a sword, in
fact she rode side saddle, carrying a baton. She was more of a regal majorette
than Joan of Arc.
The Patriot
Revolutionary War figure Francis "The Swamp Fox" Marion was the basis for Mel
Gibson's character, but he wasn't the forward-thinking family man they show in
the flick. He was a slave owner who didn't get married (to his cousin) until after
the war was over. Historians also say that he actively persecuted and murdered
native Cherokees. Plus, the thrilling Battle of Guilford Court House where he
vanquishes his British nemesis? In reality, the Americans lost that one.
2001: A Space Odyssey
According to this film, in year 2001 we would have had manned voyages to
Jupiter, a battle of wits with a sentient computer, and a quantum leap in human
evolution. Instead we got the Mir Space Station falling from the sky, Windows
XP, and Freddy Got Fingered. Apparently the lesson here is that sometimes it's
better when the movies get the facts all wrong.