Logged in: Yarbz Log-out Your Profile Members ARCHIVES November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 Juggernuts Archives: October 2003 Fri Oct 31, 2003 Diet Update 031031 Not applicable Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 31, 03 | 1:38 pm | Profile [3] comments (270 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks You go Girls!! A group of Catholic High School Girls kicked the ass of some perv after he exposed himself. They chased him thru the streets of Philly and then kicked his ass. I wonder if they were wearing those uniforms... More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 31, 03 | 10:51 am | Profile [5] comments (323 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Dutch Stripper Wins Pole Dance Competition She's got my vote. Note that she has trouble passing traffic signs without wanting to give a pole dance... Stripper scoops World Pole Dance Championship Dutch stripper Denise Mulder has been crowned the World Pole Dance Champion in the US. Denise, 29, who was previously crowned Dutch Miss Striptease 2002, says she has been overwhelmed by the success of her Lara Croft routine. Denise, from Gouda, said: "I had never dared to dream this. I knew that I would attract attention with my pole dance act, but I had never expected that they would reward me in America with this title." Denise's sexy act combines a potent mixture of pole dancing and stripping. The blonde says she is always willing to practice her moves "I even have trouble passing road traffic signs without wanting to dance," she said. Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 31, 03 | 7:44 am | Profile [7] comments (1012 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks 'Well, You Try To Reconstruct Iraq,' Says U.S. Defensive Dept Posted at the Request of keith Found on The Onion WASHINGTON, DC—Responding to recent criticism of reconstruction efforts in Iraq, the U.S. Defensive Department released a statement to the public Monday suggesting that perhaps they could do better, since they're obviously so smart. More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 31, 03 | 7:30 am | Profile [2] comments (237 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Hideous Great Hooter! Yarbz Caption: Barbwire Strand is preparing to auction off several personal items for charities close to her heart. She notes that, because her heart is so tiny, the charity list is also. The charities include, Bitches for Torturous Dictators, Rich, Liberal Scumbags Anonymous and Overrated Vocalist Whores for Peace No Matter the Cost. Some of the items up for auction are the panties she wore during the first Clinton inaugural (sealed in a plastic bag), her famous single cupped nose support bra and an actual head x-ray showing the hollow skull cavity which gives her that famous singing voice. Original Caption: Entertainer Barbra Streisand is to auction off hundreds of her outfits and items of personal memorabilia for the first time to benefit charities close to her heart. Streisand arrives to the premiere of 'A Guy Thing' on January 14, 2003 in Los Angeles. (Adrees Latif/Reuters) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 31, 03 | 6:34 am | Profile [2] comments (217 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Thu Oct 30, 2003 The Beer Story: The following was written on a Jeep trip during the hot days of summer when my friend Shaun, Mariann and I were driving up to Massachusetts to drink beer and play Keno. Here is, The Beer Story: The Millers son is a stout and bitter Canadian lager whose back ales him. He would brewed all day and think of using his Colt 45 on his head. He could barley move and hops around. Of Coors he’s angry, you would be too! He met a woman and she was black and tan with a nice bass. He thought “That Heineken stop a Rolling Rock.” Before long they were the best of Buds. They won lotto and bought a Newcastle where she would play the Harp. One day as she porter heart out to him and said they should be Fosters parents. She would Tsing Tau their new son, Sam Adams. The year was 1910 – and they bought a new car. Nobody had cars then and so they were the only Corona in the town. The only problem was Dos Equis little bugs on the windshield. They entered an auto race and won 1st prize, taking the coveted Pabst Blue Ribbon. His annual checkup revealed a Spaten his lung. He was not hoppy. He would not have time to exterminate the burrowing Molson his lawn or tap into his 401K. It was a sad case. He told his wife that since he lost his hair he wanted her to Schaeffer Busch. But because her family lived by the German Purity Law she would not do that. Their marriage was taking a Schlitz. How could they just Stroh’s it away? They listened to a Dixie Voodoo doctor who told them to hang a Moosehead over the door. All the inactivity resulted in Mr Miller getting a Fat Tire around his waist. He also started drinking lots of beer and rudely Belgian ale in public. Soon it was World War I. Their son was called up in the draft and he became a Dead Guy when a keg of gunpowder exploded when he was Killian some Germans. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 30, 03 | 5:55 pm | Profile [2] comments (264 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Phoenix Sheriff Runs Female Chain Gang I reckon that Maricopa County AZ is one place you don't want to get in trouble. I have heard tales of this Sheriff previously and I struggle with the appropriateness of his actions. Part of me understands completely and part of me is disgusted. Full article displayed in MORE or click the linkage. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 30, 03 | 1:41 pm | Profile [1] comments (450 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Taxes Sent to me by an attorney friend: Taxes Accounts Receivable Tax Building Permit Tax Capital Gains Tax CDL license Tax Cigarette Tax Corporate Income Tax Court Fines (indirect taxes) Dog License Tax Federal Income Tax Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA) Fishing License Tax Food License Tax Fuel permit tax Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon) Hunting License Tax Inheritance Tax Interest expense (tax on the money) Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax) IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax) Liquor Tax Local Income Tax Luxury Taxes Marriage License Tax Medicare Tax Property Tax Real Estate Tax Septic Permit Tax Service Charge Taxes Social Security Tax Road Usage Taxes (Truckers) Sales Taxes Recreational Vehicle Tax Road Toll Booth Taxes School Tax State Income Tax State Unemployment Tax (SUTA) Telephone federal excise tax Telephone federal universal service fee tax Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax Telephone state and local tax Telephone usage charge tax Toll Bridge Taxes Toll Tunnel Taxes Traffic Fines (indirect taxation) Trailer registration tax Utility Taxes Vehicle License Registration Tax Vehicle Sales Tax Watercraft registration Tax Well Permit Tax Workers Compensation Tax COMMENTS: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What the hell happened? Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 30, 03 | 8:10 am | Profile [9] comments (287 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Johnny Fubar Lyrics: Education/Indoctrination (Johnny Fubar 2003) You got a faulty education It was just indoctrination You got a faulty education It was just indoctrination Yeah it was certainly left of center It was clearly off the mark You got a faulty education It was just indoctrination You got leftwing propaganda Instead of math and history You got leftwing propaganda Instead of math and history You were fed the socialist ideologies With no option to disagree So, you got leftwing propaganda Instead of math and history They’re teaching socialist ideologies They’re teaching socialist ideologies They’re teaching socialist ideologies They’re teaching socialist ideologies “Tolerance” is their buzz word As long as you think like them You know that “tolerance” is their buzz word Just as long as you think like them If you stand for the “right” side point of view Don’t expect “tolerance” to apply Yeah “Tolerance” is their buzz word But to the right it won’t apply You got a faulty education It was just indoctrination You got a faulty education It was just indoctrination Yeah it was certainly left of center It was clearly off the mark You got a faulty education It was just indoctrination They’re teaching socialist ideologies They’re teaching socialist ideologies They’re teaching socialist ideologies They’re teaching socialist ideologies If you want to pass the courses You better not disagree And if you want to pass the courses You had better not disagree You You You You had better not disagree had better not disagree had better not disagree had better not disagree Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 30, 03 | 7:59 am | Profile [1] comments (221 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Winning the Culture Wars I found this link over at Bloviating Inanities and spent the time to read it and was glad I did. South Park fans and conservatives will love it! Imagine that. My favorite quote from article is from the creator of South Park: Matt Stone, sums it up: “I hate conservatives, but I really fucking hate liberals.” Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 30, 03 | 7:40 am | Profile [4] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Here Comes My Left Side Published originally at EtherZone.com MAFIA TACTICS EXTORTING WEAKER NATIONS By: Ed Henry "Whatever you contribute, it must be substantial." So spoke Secretary of State Colin Powell to the conference in Madrid, a meeting of friendly nations too weak to defend themselves against the world’s strongest military turned aggressor. The only things missing were the pin-stripped suit, the broad brimmed felt hat or fedora, and the bulge of a shoulder holster or sidearm tucked under an armpit. Other than that, Mr. Powell could be taken for any mafia henchman walking into a neighborhood candy store to sell the proprietor insurance. You do want to protect your place, don't you? More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 30, 03 | 7:30 am | Profile [15] comments (301 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Brain of Poo Award: Good God! It's Noam Chomsky! Why the Brain of Poo Award?: Noam Chomsky is one of the most smelly Brain of Poo we have had the honor to choose! Why he has not won previously, I guess can only be attributed to the fact that I didn't see a photo of him before now. This man is a frickin' fecal mass. Not even. He is a puddle of fecal matter that is too runny to be a mass. As a matter of record, you should note that he is with another Brain of Poo, Fidel. Fidel is nowhere near the great hideous Brain of Poo that Chomsky is however. Some Noam Chomsky Info: 1) America’s Dumbest Intellectual 2) Some Blog Original Caption: Noam Chomsky(L), MIT professor of linguistics and philosophy, talks with Cuban President Fidel Castro (news - web sites) at a conference of the Latin American Social Sciences Council (CLACSO), in Havana October 28, 2003. Chomsky, in a lecture attended by Castro, said President George W. Bush's administration will have to resort to a 'fear factor' and 'manufacture' a new threat to U.S. national security to win the 2004 elections. (Rafael Perez/Reuters) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 30, 03 | 6:58 am | Profile [1] comments (243 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Recycle Program Gargoyles Fearsome Cats Help Scare People into Recycling Yarbz Caption: In an effort to spur more recycling rather than discarding, local governments have been putting steroid pumped kittens in trash cans. The specially trained kittens have been taught to differentiate between recyclable containers and standard rubbish. When a person discards improperly, the kitten pops up and rips the flesh of the discarders’ hand. In post discarding interviews, most of the bleeding trash tossing malingerers state they will no longer throw away valuable, energy-saving aluminum can or other items that should be recycled. Original Caption: A small kitten tries to escape its keeper's bicycle basket. Domestic cats, and not just wild animals, can be infected by the SARS (news - web sites) virus.(AFP/File/Stephen Shaver) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 30, 03 | 6:47 am | Profile [3] comments (233 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Wed Oct 29, 2003 From My Friend Doctor Love A co-worker got a pen stuck inside the printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note. About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate. Now look at picture by clicking on More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 29, 03 | 2:55 pm | Profile [3] comments (294 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Hold Your Noses! Here Comes The Sun Fart! Taken October 28, 2003. The lares Sun Fart in years! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 29, 03 | 11:24 am | Profile [12] comments (301 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sun Storm Eruption Biggest in Years Because of the sun storm's magnitude (it is an X17.2 for Pete's Sake!) and it's potential to impact my personal telecommunication equipment and my home gardening, I am putting together the following survival guide: Shopping list: SPF 3 ba-zillion Sun Screen Beer Aluminum Foil (to keep the aliens out of my head and create a large tarp to cover my house so as to repel the solar waves of doom) Beer Hat Beer New underwear Beer 1,000,000,000% UV protection sunglasses Beer Survival tips: Never stare directly at the solar flare(s). Try to avoid leaving pets and children in cars. Use cell phone sparingly, if at all. Call your momma today, the phones might not work on Thursday. Try driving DE-fensively. Use your signals, remain at a safe speed, don't tailgate, etc... Never watch "Friends" or "Sienfeld" re-runs during a solar storm. Engage in as much wild and lacivious behavior as possible. Avoid moving to Southern California any time soon. Eat healthy meals of moderate proportion. Excercise regularly. Never root for Notre Dame. Remember, a clean colon is a happy colon. Avoid black-top parking lots, roads and driveways on Thursday and Friday. Enjoy any heliospheric auroras or anomolies responsibly. I hope this is helpful! More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 29, 03 | 7:17 am | Profile [7] comments (267 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Diet Update: 031029 I was on my way home from work, riding on the bus, when the call came. It was my home security company. They wanted to tell me there was a breaking glass alarm in my house. I have not had a false alarm since moving in over a year ago. They wanted to know whether or not they should dispatch the cops. Well duh! Yes, send them scum-bucket! The rest of the bus ride was stressful. I decided diet or no diet, this is too much stress and I will have a beer when I get home. Yeah! A beer. Well, I'll eat out too. Why not. It's a great excuse to go out and eat and get a good buzz on. Whether or not it turns out to be a false alarm or real, I will have a beer. Anyway, after convincing myself that the silver lining to any break-in was that I could justify having a beer while on a diet, I got home to see two coppers in my driveway. They came over to me and said, "This your house?" I replied, "Yeah, what's up?" Well we got a breaking glass alarm but we went all around the house and didn't see anything. I had an internal sigh of relief. Anyway, I thanked them and went inside to look around. I grabbed my big-ass machete from the basement wall where it hangs as decoration. I went into each room announcing that you better come out or I'll freaking chop you into little peices! I looked in each closet etc etc until I was sure some bastard hadn't gotten in, closed and locked the window, and waited for the cops to say there was nothing wrong. Then the dude would come out at 3 AM and kill us. All was well though and I had no chance to dice up a robber tonight. I didn't want to clean up any blood anyway. Well, by this time I was hungry and called Mariann who was driving back from New York where she worked for the day. We decided that she would pick me up and I would go with her to drop the rental car and on the way back we would eat Mexican! Woohoo! Mexican. I didn't have a beer because I thought I'd be good for another 30 minutes or so and then can drink when we get to the restaurant. Well she picked my up and off we went to the Hertz joint and dropped the car. I drove the VW Bug and we headed north on the Berlin Turnpike to Puerto Vallarta, our favorite Mexican place. All the while I felt guilty. I REALLY wanted to eat Mexican and I felt angry with my self that I was going to eat Mexican. To make a long story not quite so long, I got all pissed inside, pulled a U-Turn and headed home. Cursing myself for not eating and quietly happy with myself that I avoided an extreme diet failure which would have caused me to fail for the rest of the week. I ate a salad and a half cup of soup when we got home. Cranked up a song that I am working on and worked out my lead guitar. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 29, 03 | 6:37 am | Profile [6] comments (273 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks ANOTHER UPPITY NEGRO DEMOCRATS EATING THEIR OWN Published originally at EtherZone.com By: Steve Berven Yes folks, yet another Bush judicial nominee has run up against a legislative lynch mob in the latest Senate Judiciary Confirmation hearings. In a strange twist of fate, this nominee also happens to be both black and a woman, two traits which traditionally have invoked the full weight of the Democrat party in wholehearted support. However, in this case, the nominee has the misfortune of being -- sin of all sins -- a conservative Republican. Yes, Virginia, black, female conservatives do exist. More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 29, 03 | 6:34 am | Profile [7] comments (232 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Brain of Poo! Award: Today’s photo is of Yasser "The Gasser" Airifart. I Fart On All Israel! "Who you callin' a terrorist?" Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 29, 03 | 6:33 am | Profile [7] comments (281 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Moring Photo Caption: Watch Out! There's One Behind You! Yarbz Caption: A "Would Be Monica" stand in the background admiring the President as she listens to a hearing device implanted in her ear. The "Would Be Monica's", an organization of Dumocratic Women, have been attempting to get President Bush to have an affair with them since his victory in the 2000 election. The WBM's have tried by using interns, civilians, heads of state and even maids all to no avail. President Bush, while in great shape and not in need of Viagra (according to all reports), un-like all the Dumocratic candidates who need Viagra just to have their wiener come out enough to simply pee, has been able to easily act according to his moral code. The prior President had left his moral code in Arkansas with his mistresses. Original Caption: President George W. Bush refused on October 27, 2003 to say whether he would turn over intelligence documents requested by a commission that is investigating the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. Bush waves to the press on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, October 26. (William Philpott/Reuters) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 29, 03 | 6:20 am | Profile [3] comments (225 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Tue Oct 28, 2003 More News About Busy Bodies Bend Over! The "Easily-Offended" Are Greasing Up Their Rods! From Tongue Tied The G-Word The American atheist who wants to bar kids from saying the Pledge of Allegiance because it includes the phrase “Under God” tells United Press International that he has only just begun his efforts to remove the G-word from public life. Michael Newdow, an emergency room physician and doctor, has already sued over the pledge, references to Jesus in presidential inaugural ceremonies and the use of chaplains in the U.S. House and Senate. Future targets, Newdow promises, include the national motto "In God We Trust," its inscription on money and singing songs such as "God Bless America" at any event on government property or at government-sponsored events. --Man! I guess we could change the coin motto to "America, Land of the Over-Sensitive and Easily Offended" Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 1:56 pm | Profile [5] comments (310 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Help for the Blogless Originally published on another blog in June 2003: Help for the blogless I get the question often (and usually quite sheepishly) “What is a blog?” I guess officially, a blog is a “web log” or an online diary or journal. They are typically comprised of “posts” wherein authors can place their thoughts on virtual paper and typically post a “link” to some story or site of interest. There are links to several very good blogs above. I am supplying my own version of some definitions that may help below. Please feel free to add your own. Blogasaurus: A very long and heavy blog entry. Blogroll: a list of other blogs. Usually a blogroll provides hyperlinks to others of the same general character. Can also constitute a list of blogs that is visited regularly. Blogger: a person who writes, contributes to or provides commentary for a blog. Also, a provider of software and shareable blogs for a fee. Blogerration: something that need not have been posted as it is on every other blog out there (also known as blogcrap or bloggerhea) Blogerrific: a very keen or noteworthy post Bloglicious: a tasty post Blogdacious: (like “bodacious”) meaning a tasty and keen post that is exciting to the senses. Blogomatic: a post that had to made. The blogger has no choice when coming across something that is “blogomatic” but to post it immediately. Syn: blogworthy. Blogspot: another way to say blog. Can also refer to a particular post in a blog. Also a "blog hosting site" Blogging: The process of making and maintaining a blog. Posting, reading and adding commentary to this blog would constitute blogging. Bloghosting: there are several sites where you can have your blog “hosted”. Sort of a blog service provider. . See also Blogger.com, m-blog.com, bloggingnetwork.com, etc). Blogstyles: Some are two columns, some one, some 3. Some are quite creative and unique and some look very much like others. Some have pictures, some do not. Each good one has its own “style”. Individuals who post on Juggernuts each have their own blogstyle. Blogworthy: a concept or idea that is worth posting. see: blogomatic. Again, I hope this is helpful and please feel free to add your own. Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 28, 03 | 1:04 pm | Profile [2] comments (299 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Police Protection for article re: Muslim Sex Two journalists from Norway are being given police protection after publishing an article on how to get sex from Muslim women. Apparently there is some outrage over them quoting text from the Koran. Full text of the story is desplayed in MORE. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 28, 03 | 12:37 pm | Profile [3] comments (418 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Beware The Odor Of the Bowels! Dr. Fart Speaks! Everything you want to know about flatulence, and some things you don't. By Stephen G. Bloom February 24, 2000 | W hen I told my wife I was going to write a story about farts, she said that if I mentioned her name I was dead meat. Fact is, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone farts. The amount of gas and the volume at which a fart is expelled are another issue. My wife does fart and she farts loudly but, thank God, her farts are mostly odorless. This is not the case with mine. To understand the nuances of farting, or flatulence, I called upon Dr. Michael D. Levitt, a gastroenterologist and associate chief of staff at the Minneapolis Veterans Affairs Medical Center. Levitt, 64, could well be called Dr. Fart because he is the world's leading authority on flatulence. He has had 275 articles printed on flatulence in medical journals, as either the principal author or the co-author. More... Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 10:01 am | Profile [3] comments (463 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Diet Update: 031028 Very good day yesterday and even on Sunday. I got to the gym on Monday even though I wrecked my back. The first sign that one usually can feel that shows you're going in the right direction is a looser ring. My ring is looser than it used to be. Waist is kinda looser I think. But hey, Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was Mr. Belly. I had a standoff at the refrigerator yesterday evening however. I went to get a diet coke and a 22 oz Sapporo and I stared each other down for about 20 seconds. It was saying, "come on, it won't matter if you have one!" and I was thinking, "well, maybe you're right" but I eventually decided that I would have the Coke and get a beer later. Once I escaped the temptation, I didn't think about Mr. Sapporo again. Good thing. Anyway, the diet is in full swing again after the failure of Saturday. I had oatmeal for breakfast and a banana for lunch. For dinner, I made due with a salad and a half cup of soup. I watched a movie which kept my mind off munching. Stay tuned! My first weigh-in will be something over the weekend probably and that will be the official first weight. I will be updating weekly most likely. Ain't this excitement! Or is that excrement? Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 7:22 am | Profile [4] comments (264 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Today's "Brain of Poo!" Goes To: Michael Jackson! Why?: Because he came out in public again. That is all the reason we need to award him the Brain of Poo! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 7:00 am | Profile [2] comments (210 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Obituary: Rod Roddy! Come On Up! Sorry to hear this news. Rod Roddy died of cancer before his time.... Caption: Rod Roddy, seen in an undated handout photo, the flamboyantly dressed announcer on "The Price is Right'' whose booming, jovial voice invited lucky audience members to "Come on down!'' for nearly 20 years, died Monday, Oct. 27, 2003 in Los Angeles. He was 66. (AP Photo/ Monty Brinton, CBS) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 6:52 am | Profile [1] comments (264 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Rare Glimpse Into Hell! Yarbz Caption: In a very rare photograph, a Muslim extremist stands in the bowels of hell. The unidentified terrorist was expecting a plethora of virgins but received an eternity of burning hell, prickly penis sodomy and un-definable pain upon the testicles, nipples and eyeballs. Original Caption: A firefighter sets a controled fire to a hillside to burn off brush in an attempt to keep a wildfire from spreading in Lakeside, Calif. Monday night, Oct 27, 2003. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 28, 03 | 6:41 am | Profile [2] comments (207 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Al at a Halloween Party Here is a lovely shot of Al at a recent Halloween party as you guessed it a tree hugger. He's showing what he thought of the hippie that just pissed on him. Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 28, 03 | 6:31 am | Profile [2] comments (246 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Mon Oct 27, 2003 Scumbag Bitch Moans And Crys And Wants $200,000,000! Here is an excerpt from the article. This woman was riding on the Staten Island Ferry during the accident. Shortly thereafter, she was seen with a light bulb and a dollar sign above her head: "Jones said she has a sore back and is emotionally distraught after the accident. The massive damages she is asking dwarf those sought by other victims, including a woman who lost both legs in the tragedy, in which 10 people died. That victim, Debra Castro, 39, filed a notice of claim saying she intended to seek $120 million in damages." Read More About This Scummy Whore! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 1:19 pm | Profile [4] comments (312 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Fire in Paradise: Wow. The trees were unburned and the houses torched. Makes you wonder about the building material or something. Scary and sad. Even the lawns look nice... Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 12:34 pm | Profile [4] comments (224 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Bigwhiteguy.com Don't try to go today (the web site is experiencing difficulty at a minimum) but check out the newest blogger to hit the big time. I thought his name was funny too, Randall van der Woning. Sounds like a Yarbz photo caption name to me: R. U. van der Boning? More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 27, 03 | 8:37 am | Profile [3] comments (260 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Yarbz Caption: It was revealed today by the National Transportation Administration why the US is so fearful of the Islamic/Muslim culture. A statement issued Sunday explained that Muslims on the highway in Los Angeles and several other major US cities, if caught driving during one of the zillions of prayer times, would stop and seize up traffic patterns for hours if not days. A study, paid for by CLUMP, (Cars Left Unattended by Muslims Praying) shows that it could cause a national emergency as drivers endure rising blood pressure and associated health risks. Hospitals, whose capacity has already been an issue, would fill with gunshot victims (primarily Muslims) and heart attack victims. It was determined that it is best to keep the highways clear and a law is in Congress that, if passed, would require all practicing Muslims to ride bicycles. Original Caption: A Muslim taxi driver stops to pray on the first day of Ramadan on the road in front of the EidGah mosque in Kabul, Afghanistan on Monday, Oct 27, 2003. The holiest month in the Islamic calendar, Muslims around the world refrain from eating and drinking from sunrise to sunset during the month long fast. (AP Photo/Richard Vogel) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 6:52 am | Profile [1] comments (411 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Brain of Poo Award: This was a no brainer! Between all the Brains of Poo in this photo, it was easy to choose the whole bunch as today's Brain of Poo Award winners. Last night I was flipping through the channels and accidentally stopped on the debate for a second. All I heard was worthless poo spewed out of each mouth. Nothing but accusations and no answers or plans. "Ya ya ya, we are the answer to all Americas problems. If we were in office, the Muslims would love us and there would be no America dead." How? "...Ah, err, umm, because, ah, yeah that's how. Get it! We have the answer!" Yeah, but what's the answer? "We already told you weren’t you listening?" And on and on and on it went. Caption: Democrats including from left, Rev. Al Sharpton, U.S. Rep. Richard Gephardt (news, bio, voting record) of Missouri, retired Army Gen. Wesley Clark (news - web sites), Sen. Joe Lieberman (news - web sites) of Connecticut, Sen. John Edwards (news, bio, voting record); of North Carolina, U.S. Rep Dennis Kucinich, of Ohio; Vermont Gov. Howard Dean (news - web sites) and former Illinois Sen. Carol Moseley Braun, prepare for their democratic debate in Detroit, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2003. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 6:26 am | Profile [3] comments (238 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Another Good Bit From NewsMax.com RE Reagan Movie: I suppose they'd also cast Beelzebub as Jesus. Whadda bunch of agenda-toting yahoos! --- From www.newsmax.com "It's horrendous, it's absolutely horrendous," Michael Reagan, a nationally syndicated radio host, complained after viewing eight minutes' worth of excerpts of the film, which stars James Brolin, husband of Reagan-hater Barbra Streisand, as the 40th president. "They paint my father as a buffoon," the former first son-turned radio host told fellow talker Sean Hannity. "They also have my dad taking God's name in vain in an angry, angry way. ... They have him calling another person in anger an S.O.B." "I've never seen my Dad that angry and I've never heard him use the 'G-D' word in my life," Reagan complained. "They dislike my father, and you can see that," he said. "They actually infer that Alzheimer's was setting in at the time the whole thing was going on with Ollie North and Iran-Contra - which is absurd." The CBS film is even harder on former first lady Nancy Reagan, Michael Reagan revealed. "All the bad things you've heard about Nancy - I mean, this show just hates her - absolutely hates her," he told Hannity. Reagan called CBS's portrayal of Mrs. Reagan "obscene." The former first son said he talked to Mrs. Reagan about the excerpts Wednesday night, saying, "Of course she's upset about it - we're all upset about it." "The eight minutes' worth of clips that I saw [showed] Nancy as the head of the government and Dad was just the buffoon going along for the ride, with everybody laughing at him," Reagan said. "It is so sad." Reagan said he sent a copy of the clips he viewed to the former first lady. Editor's Note: Next week NewsMax will be providing our readers with contact information to protest CBS's outrageous attack on President Reagan and Mrs. Reagan. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 6:21 am | Profile [1] comments (220 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Nice Bit From NewsMax.com: Why America Hates the Democrats What is with the Democrats lately? This past week they were nastier to each other than we could ever be. Andrew Cuomo blasted his party as "soulless and clueless" and even praised President Bush. Sen. Zell Miller renamed the White House wannabes and other leftists for pushing the "shrinking party" into a "breakdown." Howard Dean lashed back at Rep. Dick Gephardt and other rivals for "distorting his positions for months" when, "with a combined three-quarters of a century in Washington, D.C., they have delivered few real results." New York Democrats such as Rep. Charlie Rangel lashed out at Wesley Clark for his doomed support of the military's crucial base on Vieques, Puerto Rico. (This just weeks after Rangel was lavishing praise on the retired general.) Even the presidential contenders admit that Americans don't like the Democrat party. Their views on why this is so are fascinating. David Brooks noted in the New York Times that the Dems campaigning in New Hampshire and Iowa have been trying to explain why Democrats have plunged from 49 percent of the electorate in the days of FDR to 32 percent today. Dean says the party must return to its roots instead of compromising with Republicans. Gephardt says free trade has betrayed workers. Lieberman notes that the party has gone too far left and too secular. "John Edwards has the most persuasive theory," Brooks wrote. Voters "are really good at knowing who respects them and who doesn't. Edwards' theory is that the Democrats' besetting sin over the past few decades has been snobbery." The senator, a multimillionaire trial lawyer whose father worked in a textile mill, said when announcing his candidacy, "Democrats too often act like rural America is just someplace to fly over between a fundraiser in Manhattan and a fundraiser in Beverly Hills." Brooks wrote: "When I interviewed people during the 2000 campaign I found many voters preferred Democratic policies to Republican ones. But they didn't trust Al Gore because they thought he looked down on them. They felt Bush could come to their barbershop and fit right in. "Except for Bill Clinton, Democrats have nominated presidential candidates who try to figure out Middle American values by reading the polls, instead of feeling them in their gut. If they do it again, the long, slow slide will continue." There's just one problem with Edwards' analysis: As NewsMax.com reported way back in June, he himself has demonstrated a Gore-like contempt for the folks in North Carolina and the rest of flyover country by making a condescending remark about farmers and saying he no longer listened to country music, paid attention to NASCAR races, or even owned a gun. And the "long, slow slide" continues. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 27, 03 | 6:18 am | Profile [2] comments (252 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sun Oct 26, 2003 Miscellaneous Yarbz Photo: Click on the tease image for the whole image: Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 26, 03 | 6:57 pm | Profile [0] comments (178 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Diet Buster. Damn, Must State Over! See The Diet Buster Getting back on the diet and gym wagon again. There are no more planned events that will derail this diet. I lost a lot of steam this weekend. I feel like crap too. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 26, 03 | 6:39 pm | Profile [3] comments (272 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sat Oct 25, 2003 Yarbz Miscellaneous Photo Post: FB takes on Sodom and/or Bin Fartin' Circa 1990... Yarbz Photo taken in Riverside, California. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 25, 03 | 8:03 am | Profile [9] comments (329 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks New Travelers Claim Office: Travelers Claim office in Taha'a. I will transfer now. Caption Bungalows at the Pearl Resort, Taha'a. 10/22/03 (courtesy Pearl Resort-FWD) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 25, 03 | 7:50 am | Profile [1] comments (243 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Diet Update: 031025 (Tailgate Day) Devine intervention. Yes, that had to be it. God. God messed with the cooks or bartenders mind to help me with my diet. I had made my mind up that I would go ahead and eat regular last night cuz I was gonna break the diet today anyway during the UConn v Zips (dumbass name for Akron) football game. So we went to one or our favorite taverns, J. Timothy's. FB knows J. Timothy's, he's been there several times. Anyway, it's a good place with great fare consisting of burgers, steaks pastas and generally filling and tasty tavern style food. I ordered Dirt Wings and a side of fries. I thought, "oh well, it's only one day." When the food came out, the side of fries was about 20 fries on a saucer plate. Not typical for JT's. I asked the bartender (we were sitting at the bar) how much they charge for a side of fries, and she said $1.50. I said well take 'em away. That was insulting. So God didn't want me to have fries. Then, I turned my attention to the wings. Dirt wings are JT's specialty. They are buffalo style wings that are cooked like all wings, deep fried and then a coating of buffalo sauce. The difference is that Dirt Wings are cooked, sauced and then cooked and sauced again for a deep rich flavor and nice fall off the bone well done texture. Not a Mr. Healthy meal, but freakin' good stuff. I bit one wing. It was not Dirt. I was already pissed about the fires, so I tried to get the attention of the bartender. She ignored us, probably because she was having a hissy about my turning in the tiny plate of fries. She was a petite blond, like every woman employed by JT's. I think they have a token heifer somewhere. Anyway, I was getting angrier and angrier as I waited for her attention. Finally, I got her attention and told her that I ordered Dirt Wings and that these were not Dirt. Since Mariann was almost finished with her meal, I told them just take them away and deduct form the bill. All I had that night was 2 beers. Also had two Michelob’s at an art opening previously in the evening. So, that is how God helps you on a diet. God damned the restaurant in such a fashion that I didn't eat dinner. Woohoo! Better than the Atkins diet, the God Diet. God just make sure that you can't get any good food, or God makes you pissed at the restaurant and you tell the waitress to take a flying leap etc. Maybe it was just luck though! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 25, 03 | 7:29 am | Profile [0] comments (256 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Fri Oct 24, 2003 Another Poignant Quote "23 is so OLD!! That's almost 25, which is practically mid 20's." ---Jessica Simpson on Newleyweds Posted by: DaneBramage on Oct 24, 03 | 12:50 pm | Profile [5] comments (265 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Good Quotes Yet Again: "Two things...have staggered me....The first has been the dangers that have so swiftly come upon us in a few years, and have been transforming our position and the whole outlook of the world. Secondly, I have been staggered by the failure of the House of Commons to react effectively against those dangers." --Winston Churchill, 1936 "All is over. Silent, mournful, abandoned, broken, Czechoslovakia recedes into darkness....We have sustained a defeat without a war." --Winston Churchill, 1938 Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 11:28 am | Profile [16] comments (339 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Good Quote: "Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives." --John Adams Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 11:23 am | Profile [0] comments (181 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Good Quote from Democrat: "The falsely bleak picture [painted by the media] weakens our national resolve, discourages Iraqi cooperation and emboldens our enemy." --Demo Rep. Jim Marshall Representative Jim Marhall Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 11:19 am | Profile [3] comments (234 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Good Message: Taken from a private Marine Corps site: Gentlemen I am an Infantry Platoon Sergeant with 1st Battalion, 7th Marines. We returned from Iraq 5 October. I have been reading some the e-mails and must respond to one. My billet in An Najaf, Iraq was Security Chief for the Battalion CP at the University of Najaf. Part of my duties was the daily coordination with the locals who lived at the University and any who came up to the gate. Without exception, over 90% of the Iraqi people wanted us there! When we left, power and water were full time, for the first time in remembered history. People could protest the US, the government or anyone else without fear of being arrested. When a US soldier was killed near Najaf, the Iraqi citizens had a demonstration SUPPORTING the US and expressing condolences. The people of Iraq need the assistance of the US. Without our presence or the presence of peacekeepers, the totalitarian regime will resume is hold on the country and persecute its citizens. I am proud of my actions and the actions of the United States Marine Corps. I ask the citizen's of this country to look at the good we have done and are doing and support the US efforts in Iraq. SSgt S. P. Perry H&S Co., 1st Bn, 7th Mar, 1st Mar Div 1989-present Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 11:14 am | Profile [1] comments (213 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Diet Update: 031024 Well, if diet food includes carnitas and salsa, along with a margarita, well two margaritas, then I had a good diet day. Probably it wasn't the best thing to have, but it wasn't the worst. Mariann came back home after two weeks away and we went out to eat. This has become a tradition of sorts and we didn't break it last night. She arrived at Bradley airport yesterday afternoon. She had left her license on the plane and had to go chase that down before we could leave. Due to all the hassle, we decided to go out rather then go straight home. I was superbly superb dietarily yesterday before dinner eating only a granola bar and a banana along with two large coffees and several large waters. I rode bike for 30 minutes too. All in all it works out OK. I don't think the Mexican dinner hurt too bad. However, with all new diet attempts, prior plans can get in the way, as do the holidays. Damn. I forgot I had a eating and drinking event to attend. Mariann reminded me that I am supposed to go to the UConn Huskies football game tomorrow with two of my brothers-in-law, a father-in-law, and two male nephews. This involved BBQ and beer and appetizers during a tailgating party prior to the game. I committed to this when I was not on a diet. Now that I am, I have two choices; 1) Go and be miserable or, 2) Go and be happy. I am going to choose "2" and go and be happy. (Listen) This means that I have to be superbly superb on today's diet effort and especially on Sunday's diet effort. Getting back on the diet wagon after Saturday will be the key to success or failure. Then, of course, the holidays always present a major hill to climb because Thanksgiving is at our house this year and I will supply much wine and quality fall beer for those in attendance. This will be 12 people. I think I can get through it though if I have superbly superb weeks prior to the actual dates. If I am to win the bet with FB, then I have to beat the holiday let down and thwart the temptation of eating with reckless abandon during the holidays. It's less about the food than the beer and other alcohol though. Damn. Of course, there is no easy time to diet. If it's not the holiday, it football season, if not football season, is NCAA bassabah. If not that, then is summer and hot days calling for beer. Beer, there needs to be a way to modify it so that it makes you loose weight. Maybe add speed to it. That way, while you take in many calories and carbs, your metabolism rocks. Of maybe make it so that beer make you less hungry. Anyway, a slight let down yesterday evening, but not a failure. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 7:07 am | Profile [11] comments (273 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Brain of Poo Award: Brain of Poo Award is replacing the now retired Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award. The inaugural winner, and what a choice, is Mike Tyson! Conflatuations Mike, your brain is clearly made of poo and you have proven it many many times! Proving his brain is poo, Mike Tyson "supports" Kobe Bryant. Whether or not his "support" is actually a like a torpedo in the side of a ship in a storm has yet to be seen, but it is likely that Kobe wishes Tyson would just disappear. Caption: Former World Heavyweight champion boxer Mike Tyson holds up signs in support of Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant during their NBA preseason game against the Los Angeles Clippers in Anaheim, California, October 23, 2003. Bryant was playing in his first game since being ordered to stand trial for sexual assault and undergoing knee surgery. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 7:01 am | Profile [6] comments (259 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Is Your Name Sarah Connor? Yarbz Caption: Arnold Swantz-is-nearer meets outgoing Governor Gray Davis with the line, "So, Is your name Sarah Connor?" Davis, who was did not see the movie from which the line is taken, replied, "Sir, do I look Like a Girl?" In a quick, non-nonsense response, Mr. Swantz-is-nearer responded, "Yes, you do." Elaborating, Swantz-is-nearer continued, "You are a sissy boy, you need to lift some weights and begin to act less like a pussy. You very much a girly-man." Davis, who was horrified at the direct assault of his masculinity wet his panties. Original Caption: California Governor Gray Davis (L) and Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger leave Davis' at the state Capitol in Sacramento. This is the first time the two have met since the recall election (AFP/File/Robyn Beck) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 24, 03 | 6:34 am | Profile [2] comments (230 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Thu Oct 23, 2003 Important Read! To Critical To Miss: Catch the Link: IMPORTANT! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 11:34 am | Profile [9] comments (301 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Typical of the American Armed Forces: Here Rests In Honored Glory An American Soldier Known But To God. So reads the inscription etched into the white granite tomb that marks the resting place of America's official unknown soldiers. The Tomb of the Unknowns remains one of the United States' most revered sites, a permanent reminder of this country's commitment to honor those who died fighting for its freedom. Last week, that commitment was upheld in a way some people might not have even noticed or even thought about. When practically every government employee in Washington was beating a hasty retreat to avoid the aftereffects of Hurricane Isabel, a small group of men decided their commitment to duty, honor and country was more important than personal safety or comfort. Tomb Guard Sentinels, the elite soldiers of the 3rd U.S. Infantry regiment chosen to act as guards at the Tomb, opted to sustain their constant vigil at the Tomb of the Unknowns rather than flee the oncoming bad weather. To them it was a matter of honoring their personal and professional obligations to the men and women who served before them and who serve now - and obviously do not have the luxury of serving their country only when skies are blue and the sun shines down upon them. Although the Tomb of the Unknowns is watched over by Tomb Guards 24 hours a day, 365 days a year regardless of weather conditions, to have soldiers so duty-bound as to ignore their own personal well-being is an example of real patriotism and a real reminder of the sacrifices made to secure the principles of liberty. Read Here Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 10:02 am | Profile [2] comments (260 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Asspipes on the road again It must be the phase of the moon or something, but the asspoles were out in droves behind the wheel of their weapons of mass destruction again this morning. I once again was witness to such poor and unsafe driving that I feel compelled to post this small tirade. It's funny to me (and curious too) but I don't see a checkered flag when I finish my commute. I manage to get to work on time without significantly exceeding the posted speed limit or making random lane changes without signalling. I don't see the need to tailgate people or flash my lights at them until they get out of my way (at least not very often). I keep any phone activity to a bare minimum and won't even turn it on on the way to work. I try to eat and finish any grooming activity before leaving the house. I proceed at a safe pace and pay attention to what happens around me. I am a defensive driver for the most part. That is until I get to my favorite stretch of road. As soon as I make a right turn from Raymond onto Diehl, I turn into Mario Andretti. I know every bump and pavement crack. I know how every car will behave and what they will do when we get to the interstate onramp at Winfield. It is a curvy stretch of road (and currently under some level of construction) that causes even the most ambitious race car wannabes to slow down. There is always a bottleneck of folks trying to merge into the two left turn lanes to access the tollway. I can usually breeze by them in the far right thru lane. This morning, the one fucktard who I was most wary about pulled a few good ones. She was driving an SUV (Ford Expeditionasaurus) and clearly didn't give a rats petard about other drivers. I saw her on the bumper of a delivery van that signalled to get out of her way, but had to swerve back when she, without signalling of course, made a wild lane change to the left, nearly hitting a car in that lane. I was amazed that the Ford didn't go up on two wheels. She was exceeding the speed limit by at least twenty or thirty mph, but was getting nowhere because she kept catching red lights. I watched her as she entered a lane that ended in 100 yards or so. It is well posted that the lane ends (it actually turns into a right turn only lane), but this doesn't stop many folks from trying to get at least one or two cars passed in a moderately dangerous fashion. I followed for several miles as she swerved and sped back and forth aimlessly from lane to lane. As soon as she made the right onto my favorite stretch, she slowed to an unbearable pace, apparently unable to adequately deal with curves in the road. Then at the two left turn lanes at Winfield, she proceeded to stop in the thru lane and THEN, for the for first time, used her signal to indicate that she was going into the left turn lane which was quite full of other cars patiently waiting for the left turn signal to go green. She was stopped a good twenty yards short of the limit line and blocking traffic for several hundred yards for cars who wanted to go straight thru the intersection. At this point, I pulled next to her in the far right lane. She wasn't on the phone, or eating breakfast, or applying makeup. She was just an inbred special-ed asspole that should have learned to drive BEFORE getting the keys. I gave her the thumbs up sign and proceeded to work. I was even a few minutes early. Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 23, 03 | 7:56 am | Profile [1] comments (207 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Funniest headline Stiff Discipline for Boy's Viagra Prank Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 23, 03 | 7:55 am | Profile [4] comments (280 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Arnold and the Pres. Have Something in Common Posted at the request of Al: Bush Ancestor's Bank Seized by Gov't By Jonathon D. Salant Associated Press WASHINGTON - President Bush's grandfather was a director of a bank seized by the federal government because of its ties to a German industrialist who helped bankroll Adolf Hitler's rise to power, government documents show. Prescott Bush was one of seven directors of Union Banking Corp., a New York investment bank owned by a bank controlled by the Thyssen family, according to recently declassified National Archives documents reviewed by The Associated Press. More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 23, 03 | 7:02 am | Profile [28] comments (811 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Thanks Rush America owes talk host Rush Limbaugh a debt of gratitude, Libertarians say WASHINGTON, DC -- The entire nation owes radio broadcaster Rush Limbaugh a debt of gratitude, Libertarians say, because his ordeal has exposed every drug warrior in America as a rank hypocrite. "One thing we don't hear from American politicians very often is silence," said Joe Seehusen, Libertarian Party executive director. "By refusing to criticize Rush Limbaugh, every drug warrior has just been exposed as a shameless, despicable hypocrite. More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 23, 03 | 6:53 am | Profile [4] comments (272 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Rummy Rummy Rummy Rumsfeld's war-on-terror memo From USA Today TO: Gen. Dick Myers Paul Wolfowitz Gen. Pete Pace Doug Feith FROM: Donald Rumsfeld SUBJECT: Global War on Terrorism The questions I posed to combatant commanders this week were: Are we winning or losing the Global War on Terror? Is DoD changing fast enough to deal with the new 21st century security environment? Can a big institution change fast enough? Is the USG changing fast enough? More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 23, 03 | 6:45 am | Profile [5] comments (280 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Clemens Changes Name After Final Game Yarbz Caption: Pitcher and Belly Itcher, Roger Clemens has announced that he will be changing his name in honor of his last game pitched. His new moniker, Cy O. Nara, will be more suitable now that the Cy Young award winner has retired. His friends can call him Cy Ko. Rumors are circulating that Red Sox ace, Pedro Martinez will now change his name to Wytha Phuc Yuleevmeinn. Original Caption: Roger Clemens of the New York Yankees acknowledges the crowd after leaving the game in the seventh inning against the Florida Marlins during game four of the Major League Baseball World Series (news - web sites). The Marlins spoilt Clemens' final start winning 4-3 to level the series(AFP/Getty Images/Ezra Shaw) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 6:32 am | Profile [2] comments (298 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks RIP to a face we all have probably seen before: Jack Elam, Dead... :-( Caption: Jack Elam is seen in this July 1979 publicity file photo for a CBS television show, 'Struck By Lightning', died Monday Oct. 20, 2003 at his home in Ashland, Ore. of an unspecified illness, according to longtime friend Al Hassan. A family friend announced Tuesday, Oct. 21, 2003 that Elam, a character actor and favorite Western villain who menaced good-guy cowboys with his crazy grin, menacing eyes and remorseless gunslinging in films such as Rawhide and Wichita, has died. (AP Photo/ CBS, File) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 6:26 am | Profile [3] comments (417 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: Robert Foster & Turdette Crystal Foster! For having the gall to try and defraud our government, you're the Smelly Turd Brains of the Day! Conflatuations! They use it as an excuse to get money. Talk about wanting, trying, willing, needing and lying bastards (and bastardettes) who try to be made out as "victims", these two are real smelly! There are many others seeking the same thing that don't give a good God damn about their "ancestors", they care for only for Uncle Sam's Greenbacks! How 'bout a free kick in the ass and a one-way ticket to the country of their choice? That would be proper reparations! Caption: Robert Foster, is shown in a mug shot, date unknown, from the Northern Neck Regional Jail in Warsaw, Va. Robert Foster was convicted along with his daughter, Crystal, of trying to defraud the government. Crystal Foster received and spent a $500,000 income tax refund from the government. The Fosters claimed the refund as reparations for past grievances the government had inflicted on their ancestors, who were slaves. Robert Foster prepared Crystal's tax forms. (AP Photo/Northern Neck Regional Jail, HO) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 23, 03 | 6:09 am | Profile [1] comments (244 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Wed Oct 22, 2003 Diet Update: 031022 OK. I made it though my two days away from the office. Those trips and events are always a major temptation because of the free food and having to see everyone else pile it on. Today they brought in Chinese food. I had set my heart of the same salad I had yesterday, but I was uncharacteristically controlled at the impromptu buffet. The fact that they had cheap-ass styrofoam plate may have had something to do with it. The crap would have slipped off onto the floor sure as shit if I would have exceeded a healthy quota. I had a bit of rice, some noodle crap and a few shrimp. Not bad at all. I chugged a water and that was that. Very small lunch. Now, I get to go back to the office tomorrow where the gym is and work on some cardio. For dinner tonight, I had the leftover spinach and sauerkraut mixture I made yesterday evening. I tweaked it by adding a can of chicken broth. Well well well! It was very good. I mean good enough that I would probably eat it even when not trying to diet. Tomorrow will be a good day I can feel it already. Gotta keep the roll going. FB, forget the fin for 33, I will however take a new pair of Levi 501 button fly jeans upon my arrival to 33. Up for that bet? If I make 180, I will be 33. I may well be 33 by 44. That would be on the 19th of month 03 in 04. Wanna try me? If I make it after that, I lose. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 22, 03 | 4:59 pm | Profile [4] comments (266 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: This Indonesian Woman! Her skull hole is full of turds and she is blinded by either religion or stupidity. Conflatuations! The ONLY definition of terrorism that counts is the western definition. To bad protestors don't have to spell out their reasoning. Better yet, protestors should be held accountable for their words. If you say something, you should be able to be sued to liable and or slander. That way, if you are being truthful, you have nothing to fear. If not, off with you head, penis, vagina or other painful body part removal. Caption: An Indonesian Muslim woman holds up a defaced photo of U.S. President George W. Bush (news - web sites) during an anti-U.S. protest in Denpasar, the capital city of the Indonesian resort island of Bali October 22, 2003. Bush met Indonesian leaders on Wednesday to show support for efforts by the world's most populous Muslim nation to fight terrorism. REUTERS/Crack Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 22, 03 | 5:31 am | Profile [14] comments (489 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Researchers Find "Stupid Face" Compound in Coffee Yarbz Caption: Kath Feen of Commietown, California sucks down a cup of coffee at Stalin Bucks Cafe Tuesday morning. Researchers in Germany have found that coffee contains a highly active compound, found only in coffee beans, which caused mild to sever "Stupidious Facious", or Stupid Face, an all too common malady in Commietown. Nevertheless, drinkers in Commietown say they will never give up their java because their faces fit the personality of the town. Original Caption: Jessica Rich drinks a cup of coffee at Cafe Strada in Berkeley, Calif. German researchers say they've found a highly active compound, called methylpyridinium, in coffee that may prevent colon cancer. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 22, 03 | 5:18 am | Profile [2] comments (224 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Tue Oct 21, 2003 Diet Update 031021: I skipped out on dinner. It was easy today. I had the choice of eating at the Ramada, or was it the Sheraton? All the same. I would have been eating with attorneys mostly and I am glad I didn't go. I am typing this at 4:58 EST and eating a mixture of canned sour kraut and canned spinach. I threw in some mustard and will be able to fill up on this stuff which tasted good initially but seem to be getting worse with each bite. Maybe it needs some hot sauce. Yeah, that's the ticket. (Runs to Kitchen) There, I just got some: "Bull Snort, Butt Burner" sauce (actual name) and will now apply: Wow! That oughta' clean out the colon! Pretty good. I ate a salad for lunch. They had a whole bunch of food catered in for the seminar. I walked past the pastas and the cheesy eggplant and the bread. I ate a decent sized salad with a bonus portion of dressing. A fair trade off me thinks. It helps to grease the butt pipe I am sure. Tomorrow is another day, but each successful day means more will power for the next. Woohoo! Follow me along on this trip each day. I'll be trying to update each day anyway. Cheers, Yarbz Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 21, 03 | 3:57 pm | Profile [8] comments (299 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks "When is the bitch gonna die?" I find this an interesting issue. I also don't know where I fall on whether or not she lives or dies. Apparently her husband has been quoted as saying "When it the Bitch gonna die?". Whaddya think? Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 21, 03 | 8:59 am | Profile [8] comments (244 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Good Shot! More of these please! Caption: An Iraqi schoolgirl tries on the helmet of a US soldier at a newly opened elementary school in Baghdad. Pledges of aid to Iraq made ahead of a conference on the issue in Madrid look set to meet the expectations of host nation Spain but will fall short of the country's estimated needs(AFP/Ahmad Al-Rubaye) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 21, 03 | 5:08 am | Profile [2] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Deadly Cook Catching Unit Unveiled Yarbz Caption: In a move certain to end China's habit of eating dogs, this PETA unit of Chinese Cook Catchers lower dogs down to the back alley's of Peking. The dogs, however, are exploding dogs, and will kill any of the cooks who search the alleys for their main courses. Once the cooks are killed, the PETA team will then lower themselves the rest of the way and leave a bunch of vegetables in various orifices of the dead cooks as a warning to future Chinese Cooks. PETA says that a few exploding dogs could end the dog eating practice once and for all and the cost of a few dogs is worth it, and besides, these are retired military dogs and PETA hates those. Original Caption: Dangling : Soldiers with dogs from the Armed Special Forces descend by rope from a helicopter during an anti-terror drill in Jakarta. (AFP/Bay Ismoyo) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 21, 03 | 4:51 am | Profile [1] comments (265 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Mon Oct 20, 2003 Dieting & Getting Back In Shape Blues: Jebus Chripps! I have been battling weight for years now. My damn metabolism took a nose dive a few years ago when I reached upper thirties and low forties. I, however, didn't change my eating and drinking habits. At the same time, I freaking found less and less time to do active things. I got pretty sedimentary. Playing guitar (sitting), working 8 hours at a desk (sitting), being unemployed for a year and a half (sitting, eating drinking, lounging on couch etc) didn't do much for my weight and depression. I was pretty messed up in an endless cycle. Now, I am trying to lose weight again. I went to the gym or the first time since April 2003. As most of you know, getting into the habit of going to the gym is important. The only thing is, during the first couple of weeks, that habit is as fragile as a house of cards in a bean eating contest. But, I did get my start. Now I want no temptations, but, I forgot that I am expected to go to a work dinner in conjunction with a seminar on fires and their causes. Fire! Fire! Fire! Anyway, I am trying to get out of it and it appears I may not be able to. That sucks. I pre-ordered s steak, everyone's diet food. I don't go for that Atkins bullshit where you can eat a whole damn cow as long as you don't eat a potato. Anyway, I was good today, but a beer will no doubt be singing its siren song from the refrigerator tonight. "Oh come on! Just a few beers. You worked hard and can start your diet tomorrow." It always happens, always! If I had a quarter for all the times I decided to start my diet "tomorrow", I could hire a personal trainer to kick my freakin' ass into shape. Things to do when I win the lottery: 1- Hire a personal trainer 2- Hired a chef who cooks healthy crap 3- Become a world traveler 4- Publish books Of all those, number one is the pre-req for it all...'cept winning the lottery. I am taking donations in lieu of winning the lottery. No. I am taking charity from some Hollywood star who can afford the cash. Hey Hollywood star, do something good for a change! Buy me a personal trainer! Yeah, you'll feel good. Or better yet, move in with us and work out with me and I will keep you off drugs! Whadda deal. Like I probably could've saved Kurt Cobain if he'd a moved in before blowing off his head. He coulda worked out with me, got rid of all his demons and just chilled. Maybe that's what I need is a suicidal rock star to move in and change my life. Who could that be? Hmmmm, any suggestions? Anyway, short of that, I guess I will just try and keep going to the gym at lunch and eating right for a change. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 1:27 pm | Profile [7] comments (341 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Another Good Story You've Not Heard About: Here is an excerpt: Brady, a daytime talk-show host based in Los Angeles, announced during a live airing of his show Oct. 1 he and Disney were picking up the tab to treat the Marines to the vacation. One hundred sixty-seven Marines and family members received passes to any of Walt Disney World's six theme parks and a free stay for four nights at their All-Star Sports Resort. "You guys lay your lives on the line for us all the time, and I just feel that you don't necessarily get all of the appreciation that you could," Brady explained. "So to be in a position where Disney says 'Hey Wayne, what do you want to do?' and I am in the position to say 'Can I fly out all these troops to Disney to have a good time for a week or so?' They say 'yes,' that feels incredible." Read The Whole Story Link to Wayne Brady Site: The Wayne Brady Show Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 11:27 am | Profile [1] comments (203 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Yarbz Caption: Ahfah Ka-Mahseelf cheers as he and his band of silly idiots successfully destroy a US truck further delaying any chance of positive social and economic change. The group, who call themselves D.O.P.E.S (Destroyers of a Positive Economy & Society) handed out a flyer stating their goal. That goal is to "ensure poverty and religious persecution while forcing Iraqis to live in third-world conditions because we don't want to bathe or work or act civilized... Ever." It may well come true if mainstream Iraqis don't rise up against DOPES and begin working for peace and civility. Original Caption: An Iraqi from the restive town of Falluja celebrates as a U.S. Army ammunition truck burns Oct. 19, 2003. Witnesses said the vehicle had been hit with a rocket-propelled grenade in an ambush, and there was no information on casualties. Two U.S. soldiers were killed in another attack late Saturday near the town of Kirkuk. (Akram Saleh/Reuters) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 7:03 am | Profile [9] comments (279 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: Osamalama DingDong! This dude is just a piece of crap (turd) and it becomes more and more evident daily to any sane individuals. He tells anyone who will listen on his little video tape that they should never resolve any issue with a Western nation using diplomacy. Well whadda you know 'bout dat. He’s just a hoodlum and enjoys the violence. At least I can say without a doubt that the US and Britain, as well as our allies, prefer not to fight and ALWAYS look for a diplomatic solution first. Osamalama, you're the winner of the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award, Conflatuations! Caption: Iraqis watch al-Jazeera television broadcasting an audiotape attributed to Osama bin Laden, at a cafe in Baghdad(AFP/Sabah Arar) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 6:30 am | Profile [2] comments (235 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Just One of Many Who Deserve Our Thoughts & Prayers: I saw this photo on the Yahoo news images site and it made me so very sad. He was killed recently while negotiating with some scumbags. A look at his ribbons will tell you he has been around. We salute all those who have died in this War on Terror as well as those who do the fighting every day. Juggernuts prays for the families loosing their fathers, brothers, sons, daughters and sometimes even mothers. It is important to mention that JUGGERNUTS supports the War of Terror, for without it, we will be fighting it here. We certainly can expect more attacks, but it is truly better to take them on elsewhere as much as possible. Caption: Lt. Col. Kim S. Orlando, 43, of Tennessee, is shown in this undated military photo, is one of three Fort Campbell soldiers that died Friday, Oct. 17, 2003, after attempting to negotiate with armed men that were congregating on a road near a mosque after curfew in Karbala, Iraq. (AP Photo/Fort Campbell Public Affairs Office, HO) The thing that the caption doesn't say, that I want to know is, how many of the bastards were taken out? Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 20, 03 | 6:16 am | Profile [2] comments (243 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sun Oct 19, 2003 Halloween is coming..... This is my FAVORITE time of the year. We got married on the day before HALLOWEEN. I grew up going to Horror movies with my insane dad. We would go EVERY friday night to Horror Movies at the local Drive-In. I sort of consider myself as a connoisseur of Horror,Suspense and Sci-Fi. Uzi and I have compiled a list of movies that are garanteed to scare and entertain. I am sure I have forgotten a few but this list of 72 flicks withstand the test of time. I have included movies from the 1930's up to the present. I have seen all of these movies at least twice. so print out this list and go to the video store!!! Have fun and let us know what you think. The more *** the better..... Enjoy 2,000 Maniacs*** 28 Days Later****** The Abomible Dr. Phibes****** Alien***** The Birds***** Black Sunday (Starring Barbara Steele)****** Blacula*** Blade II**** The Blair Witch Project***** Candy Man** Cannibal Holocaust** Carnival Of Souls***** Clown House*** The Creature from the Black Lagoon**** Count Yorga: Vampire**** Dagon**** Dario Argento's "Demons"*** Dr.Phibes Rises Again***** Dracula Has Risen From The Grave (starring Christopher Lee)**** Earth vs.The Flying Saucers**** El Espinoza Del Diablo (The Devil's Backbone)****** Event Horizon***** Evil Dead**** The Exorcist***** The Exorcist III****** The Fly (David Cronenberg, Director)*** From Beyond***** From Hell***** Halloween***** Halloween II**** Hellraiser**** The Hills Have Eyes***** The Hills Have Eyes II*** House of 1000 Corpses****** Interview With A Vampire***** Invasion OF The Bodysnatchers (Original Version)***** Jeepers Creepers***** John Carpenter's "The Thing"****** LifeForce**** The Mummy (1999)******* The Mummy Returns (2001)***** Night Of THe Living Dead (1968)******* Nightmare On Elm Street***** The Omen***** Original "Dracula"**** Original "Frankenstein"***** Original "The Mummy"***** The Other**** The Others****** Pet Sematary II**** Phantasm**** Poltergeist***** Psycho****** Queen Of The Damned*** Re-Animator**** Return Of The Living Dead*** The Ring***** Ringu (the orig Japanese)******* Ringu: 0****** Scanners*** Scream**** The Shining (both versions)****** Silence of the Lambs****** The Sixth Sense****** Sleepwalkers**** Sleepy Hollow****** Spider Baby**** Stir of Echoes***** The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper Director)****** The Tingler**** Tremors**** Underworld*** Vampire Circus**** Vampyr****** Videodrome****** Werner Herzog's"Nosferatu"***** Wizard Of Gore** The Wolfman*** Zombie**1/2 Posted by: DaneBramage on Oct 19, 03 | 9:49 pm | Profile [1] comments (218 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sat Oct 18, 2003 Billy O'Reilly My Buddy Ok here is one of my favorite people to bitch about. I used to watch this guy religiously until his second book. Then I had a hard time seeing the graphics displayed on the screen because his extremely swelled head got in the way! I’ve never seen anyone so absorb in himself! With one exception the Hollywood liberals that he hates so much. Got news for you Billy boy you act like them! You are them they are you! More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 18, 03 | 10:14 am | Profile [2] comments (231 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks A Happy Ending From The Morning Call Compromise lifts ban on cheerleader uniforms in class BERWICK, Pa. (AP) - The Berwick Area School District board decided to allow cheerleaders to wear their uniforms to class on football game days even though some have skirts too short to meet the school dress-code. More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 18, 03 | 9:10 am | Profile [1] comments (243 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Fri Oct 17, 2003 Artists Rendition of a Turd Brain FYI. This is a Turd Brain. I found it online. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 17, 03 | 12:35 pm | Profile [10] comments (358 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Baseball Lore Abounds The mood in greater Chicago remains somber due to the Cubbies losing the NLCS to the Marlins. Here is a little story about Cubs history that may not cheer you up, or make you feel better, but might make you more interesting at cocktail parties. I also doubt that RedSox fans will gain anything or feel any better this morning from this little tidbit of baseball history (fully displayed in "more"). Since the curses of the Goat and the Bambino are apparently working, I decided to plant a curse myself. I took a Yankees booblehead (Don Zimmer I think) and dug a hole in my garden. Into the hole went the bobblehead, some fingernail and toenail clippings, a plastic marlin drink stirrer, a wax figure of Roger Clemons, an old pinstripe suit, some pins and needles I collected from my wife's sewing kit and about 20 pounds of rotweiller poop. I mutterred some profanities and spoke some voodoo shit that I found on the internet and created my own curse. Marlins in four. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 17, 03 | 7:17 am | Profile [5] comments (314 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Germany and France Vote For Anti-Yankee Resolution Massachusetts to follow suit Yarbz Caption: Renowned Yankee haters and odd bedfellows, Germany and France, push through a vote in the United Nations Security Counsel to ban Yankees from Europe. According to the wording of the resolution, neither the team, nor any individual who was, is or will be, a Yankee, will ever be issued a Visa to visit the two cranky countries. Massachusetts, one of the States in the American Northeast and home to the perpetual Yankee victims, has also passed a bill aimed at funding the building of a wall, complete with gun towers, surrounding the border of the State. At each point of entry, there will be checks to confirm the allegiance of anyone wishing to enter the State. Each individual will be required to sign a statement cursing the Yankees and New York in general. Once signed, there will be phone monitoring and closet checks to make sure no hidden Yankee fans or paraphernalia escape the system. Original Caption: French Ambassador to the United Nations (news - web sites) Jean-Marc de La Sabliere(L) and German Ambassador Gunter Pleuger(R) raise their hands as they vote in favor of the Iraq (news - web sites) resolution in the Security Council chambers in New York, October 16, 2003. The Council voted unanimously to adopt a resolution on postwar Iraq, a victory for the United States which sought approval for its occupation of the country. Until hours before the vote, the support of key council members, Russia, Germany and France was in doubt. All had opposed the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. (Stephen Chernin/Reuters) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 17, 03 | 6:23 am | Profile [6] comments (329 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: The Babe! This man can hold a grudge like no other. I truly believe that when Aaron Boone stepped up to the plate, there was an entity within him that was not indigenous to his soul. There was an angry fat man in him last night. An angry fat man that rose up out of the ancient sweat drops that had been washed deep into the field by decades of rain and layers of new sod. These droplets rose up and formed the ghost of a man that cursed the Red Sox so many years ago. Stepping into the slumping Boone's body, the fat man conjured up a mighty swing and took the game away from the Sox once and for all. This angry fat man has to be exorcised from this planet. The angry fat man is the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day. Conflatuations Babe! I bet you were pretty flatulent in your day too! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 17, 03 | 5:59 am | Profile [4] comments (301 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Thu Oct 16, 2003 Kennedy Voting "No" on $$$ for Iraq (and troops...) Plans To Stick His Dick Into Troops Ass Too)... WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Massachusetts, the Senate's most influential liberal voice, announced Thursday he intends to vote against President Bush's $87 billion spending request for Iraq. "When the roll is called on this $87 billion legislation, which provides no effective conditions for genuine international participation and a clear change in policy in Iraq, I intend to vote no," Kennedy said in a stinging speech delivered on the Senate floor. Read More About This Fucking Asshole Kennedy At CNN Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 16, 03 | 11:27 am | Profile [14] comments (319 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Poverty Reaches New Low Highs Yarbz Caption: Len Miahammer, a carpenter in the poverty stricken outskirts of Moscow, builds a bookcase with only his body to use for tools. Mr. Miahammer, and numerous others in the area, cannot afford tools. A charity has been organized in the United States that will try and supply these people with the basic tools necessary to build homes and other projects such as pickup trucks and Budweiser. Original Caption: Nine-inch nail : A performer from The Great Moscow Circus pulls a nail out of a board with his teeth during a free performance at a local shopping mall in Hong Kong. (AFP/Mike Clarke) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 16, 03 | 6:54 am | Profile [1] comments (239 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks New, Semi-Regular Feature: Most Screwed Dude! Rightfully or wrongfully, this dude is gonna be SCREWED! for some time to come. Maybe he can milk it for some publicity or money or fame, but mostly, he is screwed. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 16, 03 | 6:34 am | Profile [6] comments (232 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: The Sleeping Pilot of Staten Island Ferry! What the hell! 10 people (more or less) dead because this dude couldn’t stay awake... He must be sent to prison. How do you get so freaking stupid? Is it because he was born stupid? Is it because he was too old or too young or just a total imbecile? Anyway, I can't wait to see who he is and what they do to him. Wherever he goes to jail, may he be porked, poked and prodded severely and often. Addendum: This SBT award will be withdrawn if news stories of him sleeping are found to be false. Caption: The pilot cabin of the Staten Island ferry, Andrew J. Barberi, is seen at the dock in Staten Island, New York, after it crashed into a pier, killing as many as 10 and injuring dozens of passengers.(AFP/Stan Honda) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 16, 03 | 6:21 am | Profile [6] comments (298 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Wed Oct 15, 2003 Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Startling New Trend Continues! Yarbz Caption: The startling and dangerously disgusting new trend "Poop Snapping" had been catching on with youth and some adults. The activity involves eating vast amounts of food and drinking lots of coffee. As soon as one can process the ingredients, a large bowel movement or "poop" is created. Participants then use a digital camera to take a photo of the poop and post on numerous websites including "PoopPics.com" and "GargantuanFloaters.com". The image above was taken from "Poops That Look Like Stupid People.com". If the trend continues, according to Dumocratic strategists, it could "help the left take back the Whitehouse because so many of our candidates resemble shit and sphincters." Original Caption About This Dumbass: Filmmaker Michael Moore, shown in London in this Feb. 24, 2003, file photo, told students at Butler University that last week's California recall election offered hope for democracy- and for defeating President Bush next year. "Anytime you have an angry mob of voters, that can't be a bad thing,'' the Oscar-winning maker of "Bowling for Columbine'' told about 2,100 people during a speech Monday, Oct. 13, 2003 in Indianpolis. (AP Photo/Max Nash, File) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 15, 03 | 7:01 am | Profile [10] comments (473 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks GoatBoy Just unreal. Was it the curse of the goat? Or was it just those loveable losers from Chicago's North Side choking? Just unreal. I am not sure I can even watch game 7. Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 15, 03 | 7:01 am | Profile [12] comments (404 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Four "G" Site of the Day! Turn it up! From the site: The following words were spoken by the late Red Skelton on his television program as he related the story of his teacher, Mr. Laswell, who felt his students had come to think of the Pledge of Allegiance as merely something to recite in class each day. Now, more than ever, listen to the meaning of these words. Read and Listen! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 15, 03 | 6:54 am | Profile [1] comments (251 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: Wilson Cherenfant! His girlfriend left him and found another boyfriend. The woman, now close to death at the hand of Cherenfant, probably won't take him back now. What A Turd: The guy, who obviously only has a turd for a brain, shot the woman and three of her children due to his anger. While this is all very tragic, it is now amply clear that she did the right thing by leaving this bastard and now he will get several new boyfriends when he arrives at his new digs! So, you're the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day! Conflatuations Willie! Caption: Wilson Cherenfant, seen in this Tuesday, Oct. 14, 2003, police handout photo, is in the custody of the Orange County, Fla., Sheriff's office. Cherenfant allegedly shot his girlfriend and three of her children early Tuesday, killing a boy and a girl and leaving the mother and the other child in critical condition, police said. Cherenfant apparently shot them because the woman had found a new boyfriend. (AP Photo/Orange County Sheriffs Office, HO) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 15, 03 | 6:39 am | Profile [4] comments (311 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Tue Oct 14, 2003 Now, It's Time to Govern Now, It's Time to Govern Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to repeal the car tax, cut the deficit, expand education spending, and not raise taxes. Good Luck. by Irwin M. Stelzer The Daily Standard Good luck Arnold! More... Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 14, 03 | 8:29 pm | Profile [1] comments (274 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Bill O'Reilly on NPR This is worth a listen . It's 40 minutes in length. I think O'Reilly does an excellent job of defending his positions, statements and mistakes. I really don't like him so it's hard for me to say that. However at the end he freaked out accusing NPR of doing a "Hatchet job". He then complained that he was invited on to talk about his book but instead NPR was just attacking him and he ended the interview. I don't believe this to be true. Almost every question was centered around or on the book. She even plugged his book several times. I also think Bill forgot that some people need to learn a bit about the author to decide if they want to buy a book. If you want to learn about the book you can just watch his swelled head on his overrated show. You might see a plug say every 30 seconds. So O'Reilly what’s the problem? Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 14, 03 | 7:34 pm | Profile [17] comments (451 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Jesse Jackson: "Pig" or "Misunderstood"? This is from his Sept 1, 2003 arrest but what a nice picture of Jesse. Money hungry leaders who only think only of themselves and not the people they represent should be jailed! Here is a fine example of that. Oh and I won’t call him Reverend cause no ordained minister would assault anyone. Now I ask one question. Is Jesse a greed driven racist pig or is he just misrepresented? Comments Please! Posted by: Spazticus on Oct 14, 03 | 1:29 pm | Profile [4] comments (293 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks New Security Procedures Planned: Pillow bombs feared on planes. By John Mintz and Sara Kehaulani Goo THE WASHINGTON POST Oct. 14 — Airport screeners in this country and overseas are on the lookout for suspicious pillows, coats and even stuffed animals after U.S. intelligence concluded that al Qaeda operatives are being trained to apply special chemicals to the material inside to transform them into bombs. Read Whole MSNBC Story Yarbz: So, the tricky little bastards are going to keep getting creative. I have searched the web and several other sources for more material and information regarding the bombs in unlikely places scenario. Here are some of the other places that airport security will be paying close attention to: 1- Breast Bombs. Women across the country will have to show their breasts in the near future whenever they walk through the airport gate. This is more serious when the breasts are large. Larger breasts can conceal larger bombs and will have to be carefully inspected to ensure proper security. The need for a more adept security force will require professionals who are keenly aware of the feel of natural breasts verses enhanced or replicated versions. 2- Porno Mags. Guncotton, or nitrocellulose, can also be made into porno magazines. Such magazines will be confiscated by male security and taken to a small private room where they will be examined closely. 3- Panties and Bras. These items may be made with explosive fiber and will be confiscated. Security will follow the same procedure described in number 2 above. 4- Women. Using a new technology, terrorists are expected to begin using android technology. While it is possible to create androids of both sexes, it has been determined that nobody in their right mind would ever create a male android. Therefore, all women will be taken from the line and tested for arousal and reproductive capabilities to confirm authenticity. Heavy or horrible looking women will not be tested as it has also been determined that nobody in their right mind would create an android that didn't look "hot" or "in-fucking-credible" to male security guards. (Note: some lesbian security may also find the androids hot or in-fucking-credible.) It should be noted that the citizenry of the country will be expected to put fourth a patriotic effort by inspecting various and sundry breasts, porno-mags, lingerie and women if they suspect anything suspicious. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 14, 03 | 12:54 pm | Profile [3] comments (232 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Just one word This describes exactly how I feel right now: FUCK WARNING: Not Safe for Work (NSFW). Turn down the volume before opening the link. Also, you don't have to wait until finished "loading" just click "play". Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 14, 03 | 9:14 am | Profile [5] comments (323 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Bonus (or is that Boner) Photo: Just like Brittany, I am sure she is not trying to be sexy. She does look like the kid in grade school who brought in the best item for show and tell though... > Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 14, 03 | 7:50 am | Profile [5] comments (678 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: Martha, the ever-widening, Stewart! Why?: Why not. She thinks her celebrity will keep her out of jail. Here is an excerpt from a recent interview with the alwasy disgusting Barbara Walters: "Who wouldn't be scared? Of course I'm scared," she told ABC's Barbara Walters during an interview taped over the weekend that is set to be broadcast next month. "The last place I would ever want to go is to prison." But she quickly returns to her carefully cultivated self-confident persona to make one other point: "And I don't think I will be going to prison, though." She doesn't think she'll go to prison. We'll the sad truth is that she probably won't. If it were your or I, we'd have to chase down a couple of cases of duct tape. In any event, it's clear that Ms. Stewart has been making her cake and eating it too... In more ways then one... Can you say heifer? Martha, you are clearly a Smelly Brown Turd! Conflatuations! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 14, 03 | 7:36 am | Profile [11] comments (505 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Yarbz Caption: US Military officials announced yesterday that they believe Saddam Hussein has been using disguises in his attempt to avoid capture by coalition forces. Here, in a hand out issued by the joint command, is the latest artist’s sketch of who we should be looking for. It appears that the former dictator has morphed into Hellvis Insane. He recently was heard by neighbors who reported to Iraqi police that Mr. Insane has been working on vocal renditions of several cover tunes, including several favorites, "Hard Headed Islam", "Jailhouse Rock", "Viva Las Baghdad", "Love Me Surrender", "Don't Be Cruel Like Me" and the famous "Hound Dog Bit Onto My Dick (and caused Blue Suede Balls)". Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 14, 03 | 7:08 am | Profile [1] comments (264 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Rumstud - a product of Chicago This article made me wax nostalgic and also made me proud to be from Greater Chicago-land. The story is about Donald Rumsfeld and how he grew up in a Chicago Suburb. It tells about his youth, his politics, his extraordinary life and his astute intellect. A fascinating American hero in my less than humble opinion. Use the link above or click "more" for the full article. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 14, 03 | 6:50 am | Profile [2] comments (291 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Mon Oct 13, 2003 Well No Shit! Foxnews poll as of 1448hrs EST: Accurate Portrait? Do you think the mainstream media are objectively representing the situation in Iraq? a. Yes, I think they are. (5%) b. No, I think they are focusing too much on the negative. (91%) c. No, I think they are focusing too much on the positive. (2%) d. I'm not sure. (2%) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 1:48 pm | Profile [2] comments (249 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Good Article on Bad California Law: Can the Terminator kill the bad business laws of California like Sarah Connor? Knock knock! Who there? "Da Govanah". Sarah's Not Home! Only us Dumocrats. We didn't mean to ruin California, really! Don't kill us Mr. Terminator! From "Fortune" CALIFORNIA ELECTION Time For Some Muscle... CEOs are cheering Arnold's win. Here's what he can—and can't—do for business Fortune Magazine Online Story Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 12:46 pm | Profile [1] comments (254 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown turd of the Day Award: Goes to: Both murderer Hugo Selenski and the Pennsylvania Prison System! Mr. Selenski must have been watching TV to get this cliché escape plan! What could the prison official have been doing while he gathered his sheets and ripped out the bars from the prison window? I've seen many a western where the bars just came right out of the old window and thought to myself, "that's BS, there is no way that could happen..." In any event, I will reassess how I judge reality in movies... Mr. Selenski and all you prison guards and officials: Conflatuations! You're the Smelly Brown Turds of the Day! Caption: Pennsylvania State police escort Hugo Selenski from his court appearance Monday, Oct. 6, 2003, in Kingston, Pa. The convicted bank robber, who was charged with murderin the deaths of two of the five people whose bodies were found buried in his back yard, escaped from prison by climbing 60 feet down a rope made of bedsheets Friday evening, Oct. 10, 2003. (AP Photo/Brad C Bower, File) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 8:02 am | Profile [6] comments (901 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Columbus Day I hate Columbus Day (CD). Lots of folks get the day off, schools are closed and there are parades in most big cities east of Chicago with significant Italian populations.. My first experience with CD in Chicago was right after we moved here from Southern California. I couldn't get to a meeting downtown because the "Loop" was closed for some silly parade. Go figure. I will say the weekend was stellar. Triple bonfire event on Friday night with flashlight tag for the kids, then adult interaction with adult beverages and followed by the older teens/young adults having quite the blow-out later. They had their own adult beverages. You should have seen all the beer cans come Saturday morning. They had picked them up and placed them in a garbage bag hanging from a tree. I doubt that any of them were able to pick up their heads very easily Saturday morning. At least the traffic was light this morning. You can't beat the weather with sunny and warm afternoons following cool mornings and then crisp fall evenings. The rest of the weekend was fun too with sleepovers for the kids (both home and away) and interactions with friends for their mother and I (including rollerblading and golf). Gotta love it, despite my golf score. It looks like the Cubs will at least be in a World Series at least once in my lifetime despite losing yesterday. Maybe Columbus Day ain't all that bad... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 13, 03 | 7:48 am | Profile [24] comments (391 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Mad Islamic Jokester Arrested! Yarbz Caption: Muslim Comedic-Terrorist, Muk Tuhmahny Fuhnny, is taken to prison after being arrested after attempting to joke-to-death several airport security personnel. Mr. Fuhnny's first mistake was not realizing that the US Government had only hired security people with no sense of humor. His second mistake was calling over the airport public address system for "Hugh Jexplosion" and "Yufli Yudie". The driver, a US Marshall, was given specific instructions not to listen to the jokes from Fuhnny and to be on the lookout for possible rescue attempts by Fuhnny's Islamic Jokhad comrades. Original Caption: A US marshall (R) keeps his eye on Mukhtar Ali Albakri (L with orange shirt), one of the six suspected Al Qaeda sleeper cell members from Lackawanna, NY, as their van pulls out from the US Courthouse in Buffalo, NY.(AFP/File/J.P. Moczulski) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 7:40 am | Profile [6] comments (359 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Nude Dudes for Better Education? I guess they must really have a problem in Oregon! The Original Caption...Strange Enough to Stand on its Own: 'Mr. April,' Larry Engels, 65, displays his calendar photo while posing Wednesday, Oct. 1, 2003, in Junction City, Ore. The calendar Engals appears in featuring the men of the Junction City Grange, is the latest Oregon gambit to raise money for local schools, in a state where teachers have already lined up to sell their blood plasma and ranchers have auctioned off the rights to hunt for buffalo and antelope on their property. (AP Photo/Rick Bowmer) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 13, 03 | 7:32 am | Profile [3] comments (633 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sun Oct 12, 2003 "By Dennis Miller"... Juggernuts Regular Theft of Dennis' Essay's from Foxnews.com: Hasta la Vista, 'Grey' Davis Sunday, October 12, 2003 By Dennis Miller Hey, get this...The citizenry of California held an intervention for their fiscally drunk state on Tuesday and threw blandleader ‘Grey’ Davis out on his perpetually-cocked-in-the-direction-of-special-interests ear. I don’t want to say Davis lacks charisma, but his vanity license plate is a random series of numbers and letters. Doublejointed specialty dancers at Polynesian resorts could not limbo under Davis’ approval ratings. The recall was an amazingly cathartic process for the electorate of this once-great state and their repudiation of Davis was comprehensive enough to at least earn him a time-share on Elba. Davis of course was replaced by what will hopefully be the Two-Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who brings with him an attitude more can-do than an apprentice concierge. I don’t want to say Davis lacks charisma, but his vanity license plate is a random series of numbers and letters. Doublejointed specialty dancers at Polynesian resorts could not limbo under Davis’ approval ratings. (Continue by following the link below...) Steal The Rest Of The Essay From Foxnews! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 12, 03 | 6:47 am | Profile [1] comments (214 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sat Oct 11, 2003 Crazy Dirty Hippies: This article is from Pitchfork.com and is about dirty stupid hippies who are cleanse-challenged... --- Traveling String Cheese Incident Fans Spread Hepatitis Ashford Tucker reports: According to the Houston Chronicle, Washington Times and KindWeb.com, loads of silly jerks who follow the reprehensible shitgrass band The String Cheese Incident from town to town are spreading (ummm...we, like, prefer "sharing" to "spreading," dude) the hepatitis A virus at an alarming rate. Though not quite a full blown social epidemic just yet, the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta states that it will focus on vaccinating "kids who travel with the band." Vaccinations were given for free at the band's recent Oakland, CA concert. Hepatitis A causes nausea and vomiting for approximately a week or two. It's not usually life-threatening, though, unlike its bad motherfucking older brother hepatitis B. And hepatitis C, you remember, is what Pam and Tommy gave each other and then tried to play off as the result of a tattooing accident. The A strain of hepatitis, in fact, is not generally found in nations with developed sanitation systems. It's not so much a needles-and-sex-virus as it is a wipe-ass-with-hand-while-drinking-from-the-Ganges-virus. So, moms and dads, tell little Billy to take a freakin' bath every week or so while on "tour." Or don't-- I mean, if Billy liked listening to you, he probably wouldn't be an acid-devouring gypsy wasting away the most productive years of his life running away from you and sleeping in friends' Vanagons. In closing, we here at Pitchfork would like to beg all of the simple fucks involved to begin a rigorous regimen of warshing before they resurrect the bubonic plague and plunge us back into the dark ages. I'm not sure the Arab world would bail us all out again. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 11, 03 | 11:36 am | Profile [6] comments (288 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Fri Oct 10, 2003 Britney She is mad about these pics. Go Figure. While I am not a fan of her work, I am a fan of her pics. Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 10, 03 | 1:50 pm | Profile [1] comments (217 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Ugliest car survey Which of these vehicles is ugliest? * 12634 responses Chevrolet Avalanche 6% Chrysler PT Cruiser 6% Honda Element 23% Pontiac Aztek 59% Toyota Scion 7% How can anything be uglier than that damn Honda? The Aztek is hideous, but the Honda looks like a bunch of lunatics slapped it together. Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 10, 03 | 10:10 am | Profile [1] comments (267 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Arafat reported to have CANCER. Many news sources are reporting that Yassar Arafat (you know that Palestinian asshole terrorist) has stomach cancer and it is spreading to his liver. Also it is reported that he had a heart attack last week. Arafat's doctors say these reports are untrue as they report that he has fucked his camel over 20 times in the last 11 days. "This attests to his stamina and his incredible libido.",said Dr.Yousoff Ullasheet, he did add that Arafat only needed a boost two or three times. Recent pictures show Arafat gaunt and weak looking, not to mention he has always looked like his mother set his face on fire and put it out with a rake. Posted by: DaneBramage on Oct 10, 03 | 9:18 am | Profile [6] comments (319 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks This angers me. Today is the day that Tommy Chong is reporting to Federal Prison in Bakersfiled, CA to begin serving a nine month term for owning a company that makes hukkas and water pipes. They were sold over the internet and are represented to be "for tobacco use only". This is shocking. It makes me , a somewhat conservative republican 41 year old father, want to commit acts of Civil Disobedience. I want to stop traffic and protest and makes big signs and yell at cops and try all manner of irritating nonsensical behavior until they let this 65 year old man out of prison. Free Tommy Chong. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 10, 03 | 7:26 am | Profile [12] comments (395 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks A drink a day... Posted based on the blogtuativeness of BuddhaBoy. Confirming the myth that drinking alcohol in moderation is good for you and can even stave off dementia in older years... More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 10, 03 | 7:23 am | Profile [1] comments (222 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: Stinky Andy Pee Tit! Why? Because he is a Skanky and has, as Paul’s Grandfather would have put it, has a "Hideous Great Hooter". The Sox now return home for three games where they will not see the Hideous Great Hooter. It does appear that the HGH might allow for an expansive filling of lungs... Either way, he probably crawls of the floor of his house and vacuums the floor while he breathes. Conflatuations Mr. Pee Tit! You are the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 10, 03 | 7:06 am | Profile [2] comments (238 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Yarbz Caption: With the success of the "Art Cow" program around the world, the Mexican government has began their own version of the show. Artists around Mexico are taking homeless men and women and dressing and arraigning them for the "Homeless Hombre Tour". People from all around the city are walking the streets again, looking at the display of homeless people. Here, a crowd walks past "Sanitary Sanchez", a piece that uses juxtaposition as a tool to point out that homelessness does not always mean stink. While Sanitary Sanchez looks like he might stink, the artist has gone to great lengths to make him smell like flowers with a fresh clean scent. The un-expected pleasant smell of this display has been the talk of the show. Original Caption: While you were sleeping... : A homeless sleeps in a Mexico City street while naked demonstrators of the "400 Pueblos" organisation rally wearing masks representing former Mexican Presidents Carlos Salinas and Ernesto Zedillo. (AFP/Jorge Uzon) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 10, 03 | 6:54 am | Profile [2] comments (249 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Thu Oct 09, 2003 A Recent Yarbz Photo: The New Britain Criterion, 2003. Yarbz Photo. Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 09, 03 | 2:07 pm | Profile [1] comments (242 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks The Whizzinator - Ha! I thought this was funny. The Whizzinator is a device designed to help folks beat urine tests. Comes with fake penis and everything! Even in five different flesh-like colors! See the link or hit "more" for the full story. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 09, 03 | 11:00 am | Profile [3] comments (444 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Driving This is my favorite blog topic, driving. Not that I live to drive, or drive for a living, but what gets me is people who can't drive or do so very poorly so as to cause danger to me. I also see people in cars just exhibiting the dumbest behaviors (eating, reading, drinking, shaving, applying make-up, making random lane changes without signalling, going way too fast for conditions or traffic, swerving, yakking on the phone, etc.). This morning, it was the first interesetion that I approached where I saw utter ignorance. I was approaching to make a right turn. The light was red and there were two vehicles waiting for the light to change. The first vehicle in line was a large delivery truck. He has pulled to the limit line and appeared to be behaving in a normal and diligent fashion. The car behind him is where I saw the ignorance for this first time this morning; not for the last time, but it was memorable. He was at least three car lengths behind the truck. I needed him to pull up just half a car length or so to allow me to get beyond him into the right turn lane and then I could make my turn. Just half a car length, about 5 or 6 feet max and he has at least 25 or thirty feet between his front bumper and the back of the truck. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 09, 03 | 8:21 am | Profile [8] comments (282 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: The Beltway Sniper, John Allen Muhammad, is todays Smelly Brown Turd Award Recipient. Conflatulations!! In fact, Mr. Muhammad, you and your little buddy Malvo are being nominated for the Juggernuts Lifetime Smelly Brown Turd Awards for your stupidity, your 3 week murder spree and the fact that you just suck. The lives you took and the lives you wrecked and the terror you inflicted are unforgiveable. What a Smelly Brown Turd you truly are. Conflatulations again. More... Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 09, 03 | 7:58 am | Profile [4] comments (303 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Yarbz Caption: In this photo captured by photographer Romeo Gacad, the rare and unusual event known to scientists as by the Latin term, eryth fartho or "Earth Fart", is seen escaping from the bowels of East Java. Mr. Gacad has been seeking the elusive shot for more then three decades. Upon his success recently, he celebrated at a local beanery. Original Caption: East Java Volcano : Smoke and ash rise out from the summit of an active volcano at dusk in East Java, Indonesia, in this photo taken from a commercial plane. Government volcanologists are closely monitoring the volcanic activity that has been going on for months. Indonesia's southern region is home to several active volcanos. (AFP/Romeo Gacad) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 09, 03 | 7:18 am | Profile [1] comments (254 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Wed Oct 08, 2003 Some Lyrics I Wrote A While Ago: Here is a short bit from Maginot Line ... Ideas so different from those of our own Culture and theory we don’t condone The Soviets once tried to block them all To blunt and destroy the Sirens call Didn’t learn nothin’ from an empires' demise Imprison dissenters label new thoughts lies We interpret our history as our needs dictate To reap what we’ve sown it’s got to be out fate ... More... Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 08, 03 | 1:44 pm | Profile [2] comments (244 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks If you shoot yourself @ work is that compensable? This chaps my hide. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 08, 03 | 11:04 am | Profile [11] comments (321 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks No Cheerleader Uniforms?? I posted this at the suggestion of Rich who didn't think this was "blogtuative". I disagree. This SUCKs. I very fondly recall the cheerleaders @ W. A. Berry High School in Hoover, AL and at Riverside High School in Sarasota, FL. Ahh, the uniforms. Oh yes, the uniforms. Short skirts. Bold Colors. Tight Sweaters. Pom Poms. Long smooth legs that went to the neckline. Ahhhhhhhhh. And now some dipshit wants to bar these poor girls from showing a little school spirit? Rich is right. That sucks. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 08, 03 | 9:50 am | Profile [6] comments (383 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Canadian Judges Play with Grass Laws (again) Here is a little story about the ongoing changes to marijuana laws in Canada. This is an issue that really requires close scrutiny and attention. Frankly, the laws against possession are unenforceable and archaic. The United States should really take the lead and decriminalize weed and focus the attention of the DEA on real drug problems (cocaine, heroin, etc...). The recent debacle about medical marijuana in California demonstrates the requirement for frank and honest discussion on the issue. It also manifests the absolute need for real science to be brought to bear on any decision making. Let's remove the mythologies and focus on realities. Our judicial neighbors to the North are at least trying to figure it out. Perhaps the new Govenor in Callyfornya can bring the light of truth to bear on the issue. I won't hold my breath... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 08, 03 | 8:13 am | Profile [14] comments (302 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Goes to: This Dumb Athletics Fan From Monday night in California... This guy is obviously happy that he taunted the Red Sox after Johnny Damon collided with a teammate in the outfield. While Damon will be OK, this dude, is clearly filling his pants with the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award.... Also, look at the size of the cops arm! It's as big as SBT's head! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 08, 03 | 6:33 am | Profile [4] comments (282 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Yarbz caption: Democrats, angry with Arnold Schwarzenegger's victory in the recall, are charging that the action star has been raising the dead in order to obtain enough votes to beat Cruise Bustamove. As evidence supporting the allegations, Gray Davis offered this photo with the obviously dead celebrating the victory with Mr. Schwarzenegger. The State Morgue is looking into the charges and will perform autopsies on many of the voters in the days to come. Original Caption: Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger, center, is joined by wife Maria Shriver, right, and mother-inlaw Eunice Kennedy-Shriver following his victory in the California gubernatorial recall election in Los Angeles, Tuesday, Oct. 7, 2003. (AP Photo/Stephan Savoia) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 08, 03 | 6:21 am | Profile [5] comments (225 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Tue Oct 07, 2003 Total Recall Day Well, we find out today if the California voters have half a brain or not. Whether those brains are half full or half empty remains to be seen. I think you have to vote against the recall if you are on the side of democracy (as much as I loathe Gay Davis). The voting on the side of Arnold and or Cruz "ManBra" Bustamente is on the side of radicalism and Hollywood. Does anyone really believe that Arnold is the man for the job? Really? He certainly has been a successful businessman and actor. It might be "cool" if he is elected and will certainly supply endless fodder for pundits and blogs and newspaper columnists. He displays leadership qualities and is smart. That means he is more qualified in my opinion than most career politicians. But is he the right guy? He is related (only by marriage) to the Kennedys, yet boasts a republican sway and a conservative swagger. The right has to love this guy. I think that means that we kill him last, but not that we elect him God of California. Let the voters speak. I have confidence that democracy will prevail. We shall see. Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 07, 03 | 8:17 am | Profile [12] comments (267 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Fundamentalism kills fags dead Posted at the request of Pnutts: Hey, I thought this would make for some interseting fodder. People like this are why I didn't think the ten commandment should be in a public place. It just brings out the wackos. Great headline though: Fundamentalism kills fags dead. Wackos Indeed! More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 07, 03 | 8:09 am | Profile [22] comments (361 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Mon Oct 06, 2003 ...Like Feminists Needed Another Reason To Be Thought Of As Dumb... They may as well back mandatory castrations. What a bunch of idiots. Backing Braun is like backing farts. FoxNews: WASHINGTON — The words "Madame President" may be ringing in their ears, but women voters are not necessarily heeding the call. Long-time feminists, who for 30 years have been fighting for a crack at the Oval Office, say it would be a true symbol of equality if Americans elected a woman president – and a better country it will be when that happens. Read Mo Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 06, 03 | 7:46 pm | Profile [5] comments (277 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Hey Hey; Holy Cow!!!! Let's see, did anything exciting happen over the weekend? Was it painting the front door? mowing the yard? cooking fabulous yummy meals? cleaning the house? re-arranging furniture? grocery shopping? killin brain cells? paying the late fee at Blockbuster? hmmmmm... All of these things are very exciting and I can't wait to do them all again but one thing really stands out: CUBS WIN!!!! CUBS WIN!!! Man, for the first time since 1908 the Cubs have won a post-season series and if they can get past the Marlins, they go to the World Series. How fitting. The 100th anniversary of the World Series. It's been almost a hundred years since the Cubbies were there. We LOVE it. As a side note, the Bears also won. Wow. My prediction that they might not win a game was dashed. More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 06, 03 | 7:47 am | Profile [4] comments (299 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: This may well be the last time Gray Davis wins the Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award as he will be irrelevant. On Tuesday, if all goes as it appears, he will be rightfully shucked from the shell that is the Governors office in California. Because he is such a weak figure in a state that needs strong, passionate leadership, and a man who can't see he is finished and politically impotent, he earns what is likely his last SBT Award. And all the children sing: "¡El gobernador Davis es un movimiento de intestinos!" Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 06, 03 | 6:57 am | Profile [8] comments (268 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Yarbz Caption: Actor and Pinhead Dumocrat, Danny Glover, laughs as he speak about why he can't see beyond party loyalty in the effort to bring in a Governor with a brain and a pair of testicles to California. Glover admitted during the interview that he does not care about California, only the leftist’s agenda. In addition, after questioning, he decided that Arnold Schwarzenegger should be tried for murder for all the deaths occurring during his films. Glover feels, like many in Hollywood, that movies are so important and the characters so vital, that the characters are in fact real. Therefore, charactors should be subject to the same rights and privileges as illegal immigrants. The term used to describe this new voting minority is "Virtual Americans". The Group, "Leftist Actors for Rights for Virtual Americans Everywhere" (LARVAE), has begun a petition drive to add Virtual American Rights to the ballot in the next scheduled election. This initiative would allow actors for vote twice or more, once as themselves, and once for each Virtual American they portray during the year. Original Caption: Actor Danny Glover, center, laugh as he speaks to the press about his experience working with Republican Gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger and why he is campaigning with California Governor Gray Davis on his tour of California on a flight from San Jose to Los Angeles, Sunday Oct. 5, 2003. (AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 06, 03 | 6:21 am | Profile [4] comments (240 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks The "Hitler" Syndrome Applies to the Clintons, Not Schwarzy From NewsMax.com: We are not sure Arnold Schwarzenegger admired Adolph Hitler. If he did, he would share something with Bill Clinton. The Clintons' anti-Semitism is now well known. Details of it first emerged from retired Arkansas state trooper Larry Patterson who told NewsMax the inside details of the Clintons' dislike of various groups. More... Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 06, 03 | 6:13 am | Profile [2] comments (239 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sun Oct 05, 2003 Arab News Examines Media Bias: Thanks to Rich for the link.... From Arab News: Whenever you read or hear about a decision taken, or an event discussed, in our media you usually do not find views that dissent from generally accepted opinion. When the consensus changes the arguments of commentators tend to change their opinion accordingly. As far as our readers are concerned, they see us change lanes without any warning or explanation. They see how we use double standards in our attitudes toward similar situations. While, for example, we show our sympathy toward Muslims in Britain or Algerians in France and criticize the Western media because it attributes every problem in these countries to our brethren we, at the same time attribute every failure in our society to the presence of “foreigners”. The Whole Article From Arab News Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 05, 03 | 9:38 am | Profile [1] comments (203 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Interesting Story on the Lastest Suicide Bomber: This was an educated woman and she just goes out and kills 19 people, more if she could have. She was "avenging" the deaths of family members at the hands of Israel. I suppose this is no different than if some American was pissed about something and took a rifle to school or work or something, but there sure seems to be a large contingent of these folks... Also, in America, our whackos usually take out people specific to their personal problems. That does not make it right, just more logical. This woman took out people she didn't know and some of them may well have been sympathetic to her. There seems to have been no "logic" in her actions. Anyway, here is a story from Islam Online, you decide if this is different from a crazed American shooting up a high school, etc, or not... Islam Online: GAZA CITY, October 5 – Hanadi Jaradat, the 29-year-old Palestinian female lawyer who carried out Haifa operation on Saturday, October 4, was avenging her brother Fady and cousin Saleh who were gunned down by Israeli occupation forces in June, her sister told IslamOnline.net. "We are proud of her; she restored our dignity and solaced our broken hearts. Thank God, Fady's blood did not go unavenged," Fadya said. Read Whole Story Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 05, 03 | 7:12 am | Profile [5] comments (254 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Israeli Warplanes Strikes Deep Into Syria: Things seem to be heating up in the Middle East yet again. First off, why was there an Islamic Jihad training base in Syria? Second, Why didn't the US say something about it itself before this? Anyway, it seems that Israel isn't afraid to do what it feels it needs to do to terror bases. Shouldn't Syria have taken the base out themselves? Syria needs to get rid of all those bases or expect more and better strikes. The story from two sites: Foxnews: JERUSALEM — Israeli warplanes attacked an Islamic Jihad training base deep in Syria in retaliation for a suicide bombing at a Haifa restaurant that killed 19 people, the army said Sunday. Israeli media said it was the first Israeli attack on Syrian soil in more than two decades. Finish Reading the Foxnews Story! From Islam Online: OCCUPIED JERUSALEM, October 5 – While all attention was focused on Palestinian President Yasser Arafat and leading Palestinian resistance leaders as possible targets of Israeli retaliation for the Haifa bombing, Israeli warplanes mounted an air strike on a target "deep inside Syrian territory". In a statement released early Sunday, October 5, the Israeli occupation army said the overnight attack was aimed at a camp close to the border between Syria, Israel and Lebanon which was allegedly used to train fighters from the Islamic Jihad, which claimed responsibility for the Haifa operation. Read Whole Islam Online Story Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 05, 03 | 6:52 am | Profile [2] comments (223 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Sat Oct 04, 2003 More Bloody Blood in the Middle East: What will stop the bloodshed? Peace plans fail, Presidents (all) fail, civilians fail. What will now happen? I guess it's going to take a full-blown war to get the parties to decide to chill. If that's the case, start it now and get it over with. If nothing is left, then nothing is left; a cancerous tumor shall feed on itself. News article from: Islam Online: OCCUPIED JERUSALEM, October 4 - While Israeli occupation forces gunned down two Palestinians, including a child, in Tulkarem Saturday, October 4, at least 20 people were killed and others wounded in a bombing attack at a restaurant in Haifa claimed by the Islamic Jihad. The Palestinian group announced that 18-year-old girl from the West Bank town of Jenin carried out the attack. Read The Whole Story Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 04, 03 | 5:06 pm | Profile [0] comments (203 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Fri Oct 03, 2003 Cubs Win? Here is a great little story about why Wrigley Field in Chicago is so special. We are hoping the Cubs and superstar pitcher Mark Prior can win tonight against the Braves, then again tomorrow night so we don't have to go back to Hotlanta. Go Cubbies! More... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 03, 03 | 2:51 pm | Profile [6] comments (247 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks If Rush Limbaugh really has a drug problem... I highly reccomend he immediately get into treatment. I have just the Narcotics Anonymous sponsor for him. Jack Osbourne is well on the road to recovery and would be a perfect sponsor for Mr. Limbaugh. Rush and Jack could be golfing buddies. Who knows, maybe Rush can sleep over. At least he would bathe and not constantly scratch his Afro like that Skater dude did. Posted by: DaneBramage on Oct 03, 03 | 1:26 pm | Profile [14] comments (288 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Environmentalists Need Spanking: This Foxnews.com story points out the problem with environmentalists; they can never admit that something is going right or they would have to quit bitching. What would they do then? We all, left and right, want a clean earth, I hate pollution and garbage. But, as usual, they tell lies and twist and spin and basically breathe in their own farts. Read the story: By Steven Milloy, Foxnews: Don’t tell me that so-called “environmentalists” are “for” the environment. The ongoing controversy over the cleanup of the Florida Everglades is further evidence that eco-activists are more interested in uncontested political power and dominating business interests than in workable environmental protection. Read The Whole FoxNews Story Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 03, 03 | 10:43 am | Profile [6] comments (321 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Courtney Love must be trying to get to Kurt... She has a lot going for her. She should rightfully be an unknown somewhere in the Northwest, but she got some substantial breaks. She is looking at throwing it all away. I guess her physical and mental overhaul of a number of years ago is all but gone. Because she is throwing away the opportunities that thousands would die for, Courtney, you are truly a Smelly Brown Turd! Conflatuations! Caption: The Los Angeles Times reported Oct. 3, 2003, that musician-actress Courtney Love was hospitalized for a possible drug overdose following her arrest after allegedly breaking windows at a friend's house in Los Angeles. Love is shown speaking to reporters outside a police station at London's Heathrow Airport Feb. 4, 2003. (John Pryke/Reuters) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 03, 03 | 7:24 am | Profile [3] comments (267 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Yarbz Caption: Porn actress Mary Carey continues her ad campaign for Governor of California with a new series of ads with the theme; "One Boob Out, Two Boobs In". Carey states that with the sad, sour Dumocratic has-been boob in the Governors office, California cannot get back on its feet. Her two boobs, although well used and somewhat droopy, will form a support staff tagged, Bring Reform Action (BRA), necessary to put California back on the path of stiff financial management and would push hard for a new food aid program called "Big Bananas for Everyone!". Original Caption: Porn film actress Mary Carey, one of the candidates for governor of California in the October 7, 2003 recall election, is shown in this photograph taken from a video monitor of her first campaign commercial which will run during 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (news - Y! TV)' October 6, the night before the election. NO SALES REUTERS/Mary Carey for Governor/Handout Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 03, 03 | 6:56 am | Profile [9] comments (2360 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Thu Oct 02, 2003 The Hyphen - by John Wayne I heard a recording of "The Duke" on the radio this morning reciting the following poem. I am not sure if he wrote it or not, but it is powerful (esp. when you hear him saying it). I post this in response to the earlier post about Rush Limbaugh. The Hyphen by John Wayne The Hyphen, Webster's Dictionary defines, Is a symbol used to divide a compound word or a single word. So it seems to me that when a man calls himself An "Afro-American," a "Mexican-American," "Italian-American," An "Irish-American," "Jewish-American," What he's sayin' is, "I'm a divided American." Well, we all came from other places, Different creeds and different races, To form a nation...to become as one, Yet look at the harm a line has done A simple little line, and yet As divisive as a line can get. A crooked cross the Nazis flew, And the Russian hammer and sickle tooTime bombs in the lives of Man; But none of these could ever fan The fames of hatred faster than The Hyphen. The Russian hammer built a wall That locks men's hearts from freedom's call. A crooked cross flew overhead Above twenty million tragic deadAmong them men from this great nation, Who died for freedom's preservation. A hyphen is a line that's small; It can be a bridge or be a wall. A bridge can save you lots of time; A wall you always have to climb. The road to liberty lies true. The Hyphen's use is up to you. Used as a bridge, it can span All the differences of Man. Being free in mind and soul Should be our most important goal. If you use The Hyphen as a wall, You'll make your life mean...and small. An American is a special breed, Whose people came to her in need. They came to her that they might find A world where they'd have peace of mind. Where men are equal...and something moreStand taller than they stood before. So you be wise in your decision, And that little line won't cause division. Let's join hands with one another... For in this land, each man's your brother. United we stand...divided we fall. WE'RE AMERICANS...and that says it all. Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 02, 03 | 9:25 am | Profile [7] comments (467 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Say it ain't so Conservative talk guru Rush Limbaugh has now resigned from ESPN after making what some consider to be racially motivated comments about Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback Donovan McNabb. You mean he isn't black? What did Rush say that was so outrageous? There is outrage from the Dummycraps, the NAACP and McNabb himself. I am compelled to feel outrage about the outrage, but am sort of glad we won't have to hear Rush's commentary about how shitty the Bears are. Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 02, 03 | 7:45 am | Profile [5] comments (283 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Beer is good for you This article from New Zealand shows why beer can save your life, or the life of some one else... Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 02, 03 | 7:41 am | Profile [2] comments (246 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Gimme a break Apparently, 30 years ago in Melbourne, Australia, a member of the stupid little meaningless band The Bay City Rollers alleges he was nearly raped. Does anyone care what happened to this idiot 30 years ago? Give us a break. Nearly raped? And you have to come forward 30 years later? Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 02, 03 | 7:37 am | Profile [2] comments (251 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: Tiger Woods Unveiled as Newest Weapon on Terror! Yarbz Caption: The Pentagon unveiled its newest weapon in the war against terror yesterday to the surprise of many. Tiger woods, America’s premier golfer, has agreed to use a new high-tech driver to drive golf-ball shaped nuclear grenades at the enemy. The balls, made from a new, highly classified material, allows them to fly through the air with a rated air resistance of 0.0000012. The "Gren-Balls" are expected to fly up to 349 miles with a 1wood. If the enemy is close, Tiger would use the sand wedge or other suitable club. It is expected that with this new weapon, the war on terror will quickly come to an end. Original Caption: Tiger Woods tosses his golf ball in the air on the first tee during practice for the American Express Championship at the Capitol City Club in Woodstock, Georgia.(AFP-Getty Images/Scott Halleran) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 02, 03 | 6:56 am | Profile [1] comments (220 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown turd of the Day Award goes to... Al Gore! A previous Stupid Turd-Brain of the Day award winner, Mr. Gore thinks that buying a cable network and putting on a liberal news channel is the answer to FoxNews. Duh! FoxNews is popular because people like it. They tell the truth and, surprise, it's popular because there are many many conservative tired of the biased news channels. After all, there's already a liberal news channel, CNN. Because Al Gore is thinking with his bottom instead of his brain, he most certainly is a Smelly Brown Turd! Conflatuations!!! Original Caption: Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore is close to buying a cable TV channel, putting him in a position to launch a liberal news outlet to counteract the increased popularity of conservative stations like the Fox News Channel, a source familiar with the matter said on October 1, 2003. Gore and a group of investors are in talks to buy Newsworld International, a cable news channel owned by Vivendi Universal, for $70 million, the source said. Al Gore pauses while speaking to an audience at New York University in this August 7, 2003 file photo. REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton/files Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 02, 03 | 6:31 am | Profile [3] comments (290 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Wed Oct 01, 2003 "Honey, Dr. Laura Wants You To Give Me A Blow Job! Honest!" NEW YORK — Husbands need sex, and it's a wife's job to provide it - as much as he wants, whenever he wants it. So contends Laura Schlessinger (search) - better known as Dr. Laura, the ever-provocative radio-show shrink - in "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." In a galley of her book, coming out in January, Schlessinger describes what she calls "loving obligation" - that is, a spouse's duty to do something whether or not he or she feels like it. Read More About The Good Wife Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 01, 03 | 1:58 pm | Profile [6] comments (353 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks CUBS WIN!! CUBS WIN!! It is October first and the Cubs are still playing baseball for the first time in the post-season since 1945. Kerry Wood played an awesome game with contributions from his pitching (stellar), his defense (did you see that behind the back catch?) and his bat (two hits and two ribbies!!). This IS next year! Posted by: FloridaBill on Oct 01, 03 | 7:14 am | Profile [7] comments (1645 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Smelly Brown Turd of the Day Award: Ms. Nancy Pelosi! You're a Smelly Brown Turd! Because you're divisive and lie like Clinton to achieve you goals, you have proven to be a true Smelly Brown Turd! Conflatuations! See here as she makes her face look like a butthole! Incredible talent! Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 01, 03 | 7:05 am | Profile [4] comments (490 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks Yarbz Morning Photo Caption: I bet she washed her hands! Yarbz Caption: French President Jacques Smallcock kisses the hand of US First Lady, Laura Bush as they enter the French Palace of Spank de Wankier. The First Lady, shocked by the dastardly deed which was thrust upon her in a flash, quickly pulled her hand away and kneed Mr. Smallcock in the testicular area. In another self-defense move she learned training with husband and President, George W. Bush, the First Lady then sliced Smallcock's scrotum with her stiletto knife concealed within her coat sleeve. At press time, Ms. Bush was still scrubbing her hand with a wire brush. Original Caption: French President Jacques Chirac kisses the hand of US First Lady Laura Bush at the Elysee Palace in Paris(AFP/File/Daniel Janin) Posted by: Yarbz on Oct 01, 03 | 6:40 am | Profile [3] comments (268 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks