2005.221 Bullying leaflet
12/10/05
5:15 pm
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They won’t
believe me…
Bullying of children with
a learning disability
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About this leaflet
This leaflet is about the bullying of children with
a learning disability. The information in this leaflet
is based on what children with special educational
needs and their parents have told us in workshops
run in the West Midlands. It has been produced to
help parents and teachers think about this difficult
topic – but other professionals may find it useful.
What is bullying?
Bullying is when someone is hurt, intimidated
or harassed by one person – or a group of
people – on a regular basis. Bullying can be
direct (either physical or verbal) or indirect,
for example, ignoring someone or not talking
to them. Bullying happens to children of all age
groups and of all abilities – from nursery to adult.
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Why children with a learning disability
can be particularly vulnerable to bullying
Bullying is a matter of concern for the
parents and teachers of children with a
learning disability, just as much as it is
for any child.
children with a learning disability
• Some
may lack confidence and may be more
By talking to children and their parents, we
have identified some particular issues to do
with bullying for children with a learning
disability. To put it bluntly – children with
a learning disability or communication
difficulties are especially vulnerable to
bullying. Below are some reasons why.
with a learning disability may
• Children
not realise that it is OK to say ‘no’ to
often happens when other
• Bullying
children see a child with a learning
disability as being ‘different’ – perhaps
because they are doing different work,
or are seen to have difficulties, or
because they find it hard to make
friends or join in play activities.
with a learning disability may
• Children
be seen as ‘easy targets’ because they
can be made to get into trouble, or
they are unable or reluctant to explain
to the teacher what is happening.
with a learning disability
• Children
may have low self-esteem, and be
desperate to make friends. This can
mean that they can easily be exploited
or fall into a ‘victim’ role.
easily hurt or upset by things that many
children might shrug off or not notice.
some people who tell them what to do.
notice that they can make a child
• Bullies
with special needs get into trouble.
children with a learning
• Some
disability may take other children’s
threats literally.
policies may require that
• School
children who have been bullied give
a clear account of what happened –
with times and dates. This may be
difficult for a child with a learning
or communication disability. Schools
should alter their policies to help
children with a learning disability
report bullying.
child with a learning disability may
• Ashow
a change in behaviour. Teachers
do not always realise that this may
be the result of being bullied.
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Bullying – in the words
of children themselves
The best way of understanding what
bullying is and how it affects children is to
listen to what the children say themselves.
Here are some things that children who
have been bullied have said:
The other girls hid my
coat so I couldn’t find it at
home time. They laughed
when I started to cry.
Marsha
My friends make me
give them sweets.
They say they won’t be
my friends if I don’t.
But they never give
me anything.
Mary
I haven’t got any friends. At playtime
I just walk round the playground on
my own. I would give the other children
anything if they would be my friends.
Kuldip
Sometimes the other children
tease me in the playground because I give
wrong answers. They don’t do it in lessons
because the teacher gets cross. But it hurts
even more when we should be playing.
Mark
One of the girls pokes
me with her pencil when
the teacher isn’t looking.
It makes me cross, and I
hit her, so it is always
me that is in trouble.
Liz
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One boy said he would
tear up my school books if I
didn’t give him money. I took
some from my Mum’s purse,
because I knew I would get
in trouble with the teacher
if my book is spoiled.
Robbie
I can’t tell the teacher
about the things the other children
say. I don’t think she would believe
me – and anyway, the other
children would NEVER want
to be my friends again.
Shazia
I carry the other
girls’ bags so
they’ll be my
friends.
Steph
Some boys say rude
names as I walk past, and
turn their backs on me if
I try to talk to them.
Tim
One of the girls
has told me she hates me
and will get me. If I say
anything she will come to my
house and kill my mum.
Josie
The other boys stare
at me – they know it
makes me edgy and
sometimes I get upset
because of it.
Jack
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So what can you do to stop the bullying?
Some things that do NOT help
• Telling the child to ‘grow up’.
listening when a child says they
• Not
have been bullied.
child’s view about what
• The
happened is important. If the child
feels something is serious, this needs
to be accepted. The child’s distress
must be treated seriously. It may not
be appropriate to punish the bully,
but the person who has been bullied
needs help to recover and to avoid
the situation happening again.
• Punishing the child for their reaction.
• Waiting for the child to ‘grow out of it’.
should tell parents about any
• Teachers
they have – however small.
• Saying that the incident was not serious. concerns
And parents should talk to teachers
about their worries. Communication
telling parents to be ‘tough’
• Teachers
should be friendly and respectful on
with the child at home.
both sides.
Some things that DO help
alert to what is happening.
• Be
If a child is unhappy, talk to him/her
and try to find out why.
to the child patiently and show
• Listen
you believe what they say – giving them
the time and space to communicate.
bullying is a particular problem
• Ifwithin
the school, then the parents and
teachers should think about meeting
on a more regular basis to find ways
of working together to find ways to
stop the bullying from happening.
sure that the child always knows
• Make
where they can go to feel safe.
the child find things to do that
• Help
will boost their confidence and make
them more independent. Show you
value the things they are good at.
about how the child is feeling –
• Think
they need to know you are on their side.
please be sure that all your
• Teachers:
colleagues understand your children’s
needs, including lunchtime supervisors
and supply teachers.
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What Mencap is doing to help
Mencap is fighting for a life free from fear for
all children with a learning disability. We want
to see an end to the bullying of all children,
including children with a learning disability.
We are campaigning on both a local and national
level to stop bullying.
We are also working with other organisations,
as part of the Anti Bullying Alliance, to reduce
bullying and create safer environments in which
children and young people can live, grow, play
and learn.
For further information about Mencap’s
campaigning go to www.mencap.org.uk/campaigns
For further advice about any aspect of learning
disability contact the Learning Disability Helpline
on 0808 808 1111
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November 2005
Mencap
123 National Centre
Golden Lane
London
EC1Y 0RT
www.mencap.org.uk
Registered Charity Number 222377
2005.221–10/05