ISSUE 04
The warmest of all possible welcomes to
issue four of DOG-EAR, the magazine that
is also a bookmark.
There’s a feast of creativity here, so tuck right
in – but don’t forget to visit dogear.co.uk
for a treasure-trove of work submitted by
a magical menagerie of extremely talented
writers, poets, designers and artists.
Exciting things have been happening in the
world of DOG-EAR recently. First up, our
website has had the digital equivalent of a
mum lovingly rubbing a smudge off her
chubby child’s face. We’ve spruced up the
site with lots of new features – including,
amongst many other cyber-delights, the
option to download all the past issues of
DOG-EAR as handy PDFs. It’s like a tiny
micro-magazine time-machine, and all you
need to power it is a printer and the ability
to fold. So whether you’ve never heard of the
magazine before (shame on you), or if you’re
a die-hard fan who’s missing an issue, make
sure to get your greedy fingers on all the
wonderful words and pictures that we’ve
printed previously.
In other news, we’re going international!
We happened to discover that the name
of the magazine translates into other
languages in a peculiarly charming way
– the ‘ear’ part remains, but the animal
aspect varies. In German, for example, it’s
‘eselshor’ (donkey ear). Being the geeks we
are, this made us very excited, and a few
chin-wags later, we’re about to launch a
Berlin-based, German-language version of
the magazine. And we’re not stopping
there – so if you’re interested in helping us
expand the DOG-EAR empire over-seas,
please get in touch at hello@dogear.co.uk.
We’re very friendly, we promise.
Enjoy the issue you sexy bookworms
(and don’t forget, send us your work!)
DOG-EAR
xXx
TOO LATE
CLOSER AND LESS IRRITABLE
she sits
on the toilet
i’m taking
a bath
she asks me
is there a future for us
requests
i don’t piss
in the water
as she’d like
to get in
Like stubble on shaven genitalia
take the rough with the smooth
in those simple moments
of pleasure
i tell her
it’s too late
Mr Black
I AM YOUR FEAR
If the world ended
I would have nothing to confess.
Instead, in those fleeting moments
before death,
I would turn to you and ask
“Sex?”
Babes,
I’m a suicide case suited to you
and unpacked I found the light lit
with a match struck off the inside
of your thighs
and the outside of my face
-graze graced
we have that spark
that sandpaper charm
Jessica Cook
and it’s a true flame
not a lighter, perfect photo finish
or electric heater
just real unphotoshopped people
ugly in places
but smoothed out rubbed down
and repainted
in our own time
let’s go on holiday somewhere shit
so we can reminisce
about the good times
rather than try to recreate them
without realising we
distil nostalgia to be bottled up and aged
lying-in beds made only to be unmade
by making
not a vivid memory,
just a contribution to the bank
to something worth saving up for
that feeling
that we’re happy.
Unbuckle your bra strap
and I won’t wear socks to bed
and we’ll feel sexy for the effort
even though
we’re probably not.
And I’ll kiss you then snore
like a trumpet playing an ode to us
us happy unperfect perfectly happy us
James Wheale
A PUCK-A-LIPS
Marianna Madriz
HAIKU FOR
LOST
the man in the seat in front of me,
BA flight 1463, Edinburgh to Heathrow,
31 August 2012
you put your seat back
as soon as we’ve taken off
I learn about you
Andrew James Brown
HSBC BOY
THE AMOUNT OF SUGAR
FILM IN 140 CHARACTERS
i really don’t know how to
tell you
that i have to stop myself
from
thinking about you,
mostly at night.
You seem to work the
days i go in,
and you look at me
everytime and its like wtf am i
supposed to do
i play it cool, too cool and
look at you
like i look at everyone
else,
which is so bad because
you’re not
everyone else,
and by the time i
withdraw cash
you’re sitting down in
your booth
talking to somebody
whose just
moved into London.
Over time I’ve been
gradually reducing
the amount of sugar
I put in your tea.
I think you’re getting
fat but can’t bear
to tell you. This is
my way of helping
you control your
weight.
James Bond, Freddie Krueger, “Dirty”
Harry Callahan, Amelie Poullain, Bobba
Fett, Sugar Kane Kowalcyk, Dirk Diggler,
Patrick Bateman, Jessica Rabbit, Roy
Batty, Withnail, Nurse Ratched & R.P.
McMurphy, “Cool Hand” Luke, George
Bailey, Scarlett O’Hara, Keyser Soze,
Atticus Finch, Will Hunting, Martin Riggs,
Hannibal Lector & Clarice Starling, Brody &
Quint, Harry Potter, Rocky Balboa,
Maximus Decimus Meridius, Donnie Darko,
Mary Poppins, Ellis “Red” Redding, Marv,
Mr Blonde, Cobb, Simba, Oskar Schindler,
Jack Carter, The Driver, Phil Connors & The
Groundhog, Randy “The Ram” Robinson,
Hal-9000, Woody & Buzz, William Wallace,
Tony Stark, Blade, Anton Chigurh, Rick
Blaine, Tommy Devito, Ace Ventura, Hans
Solo & Darth Vader, Ivan Drago, Annie Hall,
Johnny Hooker, Michael Corleone, Forrest
Gump, Travis Bickle, John McClane & Hans
Gruber, Lt Ellen Ripley, Randal Graves,
Lisbeth Sander, Luke Skywalker & Princess
Leia Organa, Vincenzo Coccotti, Wolverine,
Norman Bates, Axel Foley, Marge
Gunderson, Ed & Shaun, Jack Torrence,
Snake Plissken, Clark Kent, Fast Eddie
Felson, Jigsaw, Daniel Plainview, Peter
Parker, Don Logan, White Goodman, Leon &
Mathilda, The Bride, Frank Booth,
Napolean Dynamite, E.T., Dracula, Dr
Rumack, Charles Foster Kane, The
Elephant Man, J.J.Mclure & Captain Chaos,
Batman, Bullet Tooth Tony, Ted, Jason
Bourne, Tequila, Edward Scissorhands,
Alex Delarge, Peter Venkman, Juno
MacGuff, Yoda, Tony Montana, Indiana
Jones, Harry Burns & Sally Albright, Martin
Q Blank, The Wicked Witch of the West, Neo
& Agent Smith, Lt. Frank Drebin, Marty &
Doctor Emmett Brown, Jack Carter, Arnie
Grape, Tony Manero, The Joker, Susie
Diamond, The Dude & Walter Sobchak,
Gandalf & Gollum, Marsellus Wallace,
Truman Burbank, Wayne & Garth, Holly
Golightly, Jacques Mesrine, Harry Lime,
Annie Wilkes, Mrs Robinson & Benjamin
Braddock, Captain Jack Sparrow, Tyler
Durden, Mark “Chopper” Read, Ferris
Bueller, Wall-E, The Man With No Name,
Ron Burgundy, The Terminator.
Sarah Chapman
Henry Billington
Kat Franceska
Jack Starks
ISSUE 04
The warmest of all possible welcomes to
issue four of DOG-EAR, the magazine that
is also a bookmark.
There’s a feast of creativity here, so tuck right
in – but don’t forget to visit dogear.co.uk
for a treasure-trove of work submitted by
a magical menagerie of extremely talented
writers, poets, designers and artists.
Exciting things have been happening in the
world of DOG-EAR recently. First up, our
website has had the digital equivalent of a
mum lovingly rubbing a smudge off her
chubby child’s face. We’ve spruced up the
site with lots of new features – including,
amongst many other cyber-delights, the
option to download all the past issues of
DOG-EAR as handy PDFs. It’s like a tiny
micro-magazine time-machine, and all you
need to power it is a printer and the ability
to fold. So whether you’ve never heard of the
magazine before (shame on you), or if you’re
a die-hard fan who’s missing an issue, make
sure to get your greedy fingers on all the
wonderful words and pictures that we’ve
printed previously.
In other news, we’re going international!
We happened to discover that the name
of the magazine translates into other
languages in a peculiarly charming way
– the ‘ear’ part remains, but the animal
aspect varies. In German, for example, it’s
‘eselshor’ (donkey ear). Being the geeks we
are, this made us very excited, and a few
chin-wags later, we’re about to launch a
Berlin-based, German-language version of
the magazine. And we’re not stopping
there – so if you’re interested in helping us
expand the DOG-EAR empire over-seas,
please get in touch at hello@dogear.co.uk.
We’re very friendly, we promise.
Enjoy the issue you sexy bookworms
(and don’t forget, send us your work!)
DOG-EAR
xXx
TOO LATE
CLOSER AND LESS IRRITABLE
she sits
on the toilet
i’m taking
a bath
she asks me
is there a future for us
requests
i don’t piss
in the water
as she’d like
to get in
Like stubble on shaven genitalia
take the rough with the smooth
in those simple moments
of pleasure
i tell her
it’s too late
Mr Black
I AM YOUR FEAR
If the world ended
I would have nothing to confess.
Instead, in those fleeting moments
before death,
I would turn to you and ask
“Sex?”
Babes,
I’m a suicide case suited to you
and unpacked I found the light lit
with a match struck off the inside
of your thighs
and the outside of my face
-graze graced
we have that spark
that sandpaper charm
Jessica Cook
and it’s a true flame
not a lighter, perfect photo finish
or electric heater
just real unphotoshopped people
ugly in places
but smoothed out rubbed down
and repainted
in our own time
let’s go on holiday somewhere shit
so we can reminisce
about the good times
rather than try to recreate them
without realising we
distil nostalgia to be bottled up and aged
lying-in beds made only to be unmade
by making
not a vivid memory,
just a contribution to the bank
to something worth saving up for
that feeling
that we’re happy.
Unbuckle your bra strap
and I won’t wear socks to bed
and we’ll feel sexy for the effort
even though
we’re probably not.
And I’ll kiss you then snore
like a trumpet playing an ode to us
us happy unperfect perfectly happy us
James Wheale
A PUCK-A-LIPS
Marianna Madriz
HAIKU FOR
LOST
the man in the seat in front of me,
BA flight 1463, Edinburgh to Heathrow,
31 August 2012
you put your seat back
as soon as we’ve taken off
I learn about you
Andrew James Brown
HSBC BOY
THE AMOUNT OF SUGAR
FILM IN 140 CHARACTERS
i really don’t know how to
tell you
that i have to stop myself
from
thinking about you,
mostly at night.
You seem to work the
days i go in,
and you look at me
everytime and its like wtf am i
supposed to do
i play it cool, too cool and
look at you
like i look at everyone
else,
which is so bad because
you’re not
everyone else,
and by the time i
withdraw cash
you’re sitting down in
your booth
talking to somebody
whose just
moved into London.
Over time I’ve been
gradually reducing
the amount of sugar
I put in your tea.
I think you’re getting
fat but can’t bear
to tell you. This is
my way of helping
you control your
weight.
James Bond, Freddie Krueger, “Dirty”
Harry Callahan, Amelie Poullain, Bobba
Fett, Sugar Kane Kowalcyk, Dirk Diggler,
Patrick Bateman, Jessica Rabbit, Roy
Batty, Withnail, Nurse Ratched & R.P.
McMurphy, “Cool Hand” Luke, George
Bailey, Scarlett O’Hara, Keyser Soze,
Atticus Finch, Will Hunting, Martin Riggs,
Hannibal Lector & Clarice Starling, Brody &
Quint, Harry Potter, Rocky Balboa,
Maximus Decimus Meridius, Donnie Darko,
Mary Poppins, Ellis “Red” Redding, Marv,
Mr Blonde, Cobb, Simba, Oskar Schindler,
Jack Carter, The Driver, Phil Connors & The
Groundhog, Randy “The Ram” Robinson,
Hal-9000, Woody & Buzz, William Wallace,
Tony Stark, Blade, Anton Chigurh, Rick
Blaine, Tommy Devito, Ace Ventura, Hans
Solo & Darth Vader, Ivan Drago, Annie Hall,
Johnny Hooker, Michael Corleone, Forrest
Gump, Travis Bickle, John McClane & Hans
Gruber, Lt Ellen Ripley, Randal Graves,
Lisbeth Sander, Luke Skywalker & Princess
Leia Organa, Vincenzo Coccotti, Wolverine,
Norman Bates, Axel Foley, Marge
Gunderson, Ed & Shaun, Jack Torrence,
Snake Plissken, Clark Kent, Fast Eddie
Felson, Jigsaw, Daniel Plainview, Peter
Parker, Don Logan, White Goodman, Leon &
Mathilda, The Bride, Frank Booth,
Napolean Dynamite, E.T., Dracula, Dr
Rumack, Charles Foster Kane, The
Elephant Man, J.J.Mclure & Captain Chaos,
Batman, Bullet Tooth Tony, Ted, Jason
Bourne, Tequila, Edward Scissorhands,
Alex Delarge, Peter Venkman, Juno
MacGuff, Yoda, Tony Montana, Indiana
Jones, Harry Burns & Sally Albright, Martin
Q Blank, The Wicked Witch of the West, Neo
& Agent Smith, Lt. Frank Drebin, Marty &
Doctor Emmett Brown, Jack Carter, Arnie
Grape, Tony Manero, The Joker, Susie
Diamond, The Dude & Walter Sobchak,
Gandalf & Gollum, Marsellus Wallace,
Truman Burbank, Wayne & Garth, Holly
Golightly, Jacques Mesrine, Harry Lime,
Annie Wilkes, Mrs Robinson & Benjamin
Braddock, Captain Jack Sparrow, Tyler
Durden, Mark “Chopper” Read, Ferris
Bueller, Wall-E, The Man With No Name,
Ron Burgundy, The Terminator.
Sarah Chapman
Henry Billington
Kat Franceska
Jack Starks