NAME
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My bits:-
Histeria 2015
Start with tabs closed
Stage Mgr (V/O)
Are we all clear front of house? Ok. I’ll practise the safety announcement. “Good evening ladies
and gentlemen and welcome to the Sandpit Theatre for Best’s Historical pageant. Please switch
off all mobile phones and pagers, and you are reminded that photography and video recording
is not allowed during the performance. Now, sit back and enjoy the show” That OK? Good. OK,
here we go...
House lights to half.
Standby LX2 and FX1.
Thank you.
LX2 Go!
FX1 Go!
Song: One Vision (All)
Hey, one man, one goal ha, one vision
One heart, one soul just one great nation
One flash of light yeah, one God, one
vision
One flesh, one bone
One true Great Britain
One voice, one hope
One real Great Britain
Wowowowowowo gimme one vision
Hey
No wrong, no right
I'm gonna tell you there's no black and no
white
No blood, no stain
All we need is one world wide vision
One flesh, one bone
One true Great Britain
One race, one hope
One growing nation
Wowowowowo woh yeah oh yeah oh yeah
I had a dream
When I was young
A dream of sweet illusion
A glimpse of hope and unity
And visions of one sweet union
But a cold wind blows
And a dark rain falls
And in my heart it shows
Look what they've done to my dream, yeah
One vision
So give me your hands
Give me your hearts
I'm ready
There's only one direction
One world, one nation
Yeah one vision
Throughout the years
Historic nation
Through peace through war
Through revolution
Wowowowowowo yeah
One one one one one one one
One vision hey one vision one vision one
vision one vision
One flesh, one bone
One true Great Britain
One voice, one hope
One growing nation
Gimme one light, yeah
Gimme one hope, hey
Just gimme, ha
One man one man
One bar one night
One day hey hey
Just gimme gimme gimme gimme
Great Britain
Cast leave the stage, leaving stage manager who looks up to the box
Stage Mgr
How was that?
Alfred
All right I suppose. Couple of glitches on the lighting but otherwise not bad.
Stage Mgr
Do you want to run it again?
Alfred
No, no, we’ll see if we’ve got time to run it again later but let’s press on. We’re way behind after the
costume nightmare. Next time don’t store frocks next to the boiler, OK?
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Stage Mgr
Anybody can make a mistake. That’s what the Fireman said anyway...
Alfred
What’s done is done, and we’ve managed to get together a load of dressing up clothes so we might
get somewhere close to what we’d planned. But we’ve only got two hours till the audience arrives and
we really need to get a full dress rehearsal in – so let’s get on with it. Hang on, I’ll come down coz I’m
on next.
Stage Mgr
OK. Right everyone, places please for the Stonehenge scene. Ready with the slides, guys?
Box
Yeah!
Stage Mgr
(shouts off)
Right everyone, we’re going to try and run it as if the audience was in. No fighting over the dressing
up box –there’s enough in there for everyone. And if something goes wrong, let’s try and keep things
going, OK?
Alfred arrives
Stage Mgr
Right (name), are you ready?
Alfred
Yes. Here about right?
Stage Mgr
On that mark, yes. OK, cue the music and lights!
The stage goes to darkness. We hear big booming music – Dies Irae, there is smoke and
dramatic lighting.
Alfred
Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the annual performance of Best’s Association for Accuracy in
Archaelogical, Architectural and Archival Acting. Or BAAAAA!
I am playing Alfred the Great. King of what you know as England from 871 to 899AD. I am the mighty
King who defeated the Vikings in 871 and I am to be your guide for this evening’s journey through the
rich and varied history of ‘this sceptr’d isle’. We start way back in time. This small island was first
inhabited by those who crossed the land bridge from Europe. Thousands of years ago the bridge
disappeared, flooded when the ice melted, and so these small tribes were trapped here. But they
made the best of it.
2000BC building Stonehenge
Settler 1
Heave! Heave! Heave!
(Small group comes on pulling a rope. We don’t actually see the stone.)
Settlers
(all)
Heave! Heave! Heave!
Druid
Stop! I think here is all right.
(looks around mystically)
Settler 3
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It’s the middle of nowhere!
Druid
Well, we are going to need the space.
Settler 7
My back hurts. We must have dragged this thing for over 100 miles, if miles had been invented…
Settler 6
And it must weigh at least 10 tonnes, if tonnes had been invented
Settler 8
Next time we choose a builder’s merchant that delivers, yes?
Druid
Yes! This place is perfect! It’s magnificent! Wondrous!
(Group pushes one of their unwilling number out)
Settler 9
Er... Druid, your reverence and holiness, sir?
Druid
(continues looking around and measuring mystically)
Shhhhh!
(He goes on his knees and salutes the Sun. The group shuffle about a little embarrassed.)
Yes! Yes! This is the place! The sacred place! High on the Downs and not too far from the A381. This
is where we build our temple.
Settler 4
But, er...what’s it for?
Druid
We build it so that the sun may rise again.
Settler 3
It needs some help?
Settler 6
The sun managed quite well on its own this morning.
Settler 5
And why do we have to make it so big?
Settler 2
What do you mean, big?
Settler 1
Well, have a look at the blueprints. We need 42 more of those.
Group
WHAT?
Settler 1
It was all in the planning application…
Group
(general unease and sounds of mutiny)
Druid
Silence!
(they calm down)
We will build our stone circle and then the sun will be appeased and will rise every day this year after
we have performed the sacrifice!
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Settler 10
So we build a big circle of these things.
Druid
With stones going round the top.
Group
WHAT?
(General sounds of real anger now)
Settler 11
How are we going to lift those?
Druid
Er....using my.. er….secret Druid lifting method.
Settler
Hmmnn. And why does the Sun need appeasing? What have we done to upset him?
Druid
Just take it from me that he’s not that chuffed, all right!
Settler 12
And.. er... I couldn’t help noticing, not being funny or anything, that you might have made some minor
reference in a previous statement to the word, er... sacrifice...?
Group
(ad lib)
Oh yeah! He did say that! etc
Druid
Yes, a sacrifice! Someone of true blood whose life will be given in honour of the Sun!
Settler 3
And this someone... how is he or she chosen?
Druid
You will select someone whose death will be a fit and proper offering to the Sun.
Settler 12
So, a true and dedicated believer in the old religion then?
Druid
Yes!
Settler 13
And someone who has devoted their life to Sun worship!
Druid
Yes! Yes!
Settler 15
A wise and prominent member of our tribe?
Druid
Yes! That’s just the right kind of person...
(group begins to gather around him)
Uh oh!
Settler 14
Get him!
They chase off the Druid
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Alfred
So sacrifices played a big part in the life of the ancient Briton until, the Romans invaded.
Settler
Blooming cheek.
Alfred
Excuse me?
Settler
The cheek of it. Here we are, getting on ever so nicely, farming, putting up circles of rocks, sacrificing
each other, making, as you say, the best of it, and the Romans turn up and invade without so much
as a by-your-leave.
Alfred
If they had asked, it wouldn’t have been invading, would it? It would have been more like a houseshare.
Settler
Smarty-pants. Anyway, what happened next?
Alfred
I was about to tell you. The Romans swept ruthlessly across Europe and Asia, subjugating , pacifying
and then civilizing societies as they went. One small island off the coast of Gaul, though,
remained unconquered until one day in 43 AD…
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Romans invade Britain
Sea sound effects.
Centurion
Right, gather round everyone…. We’ve got an ETA of about 10 minutes, so I want to make sure you
all know why you’re here. We are going to split into groups to make it easier when we disembark.
Please take note of who is in your group, you’ll be working pretty closely from now on. Architects, you
need to get into a group with the builders.
Architect
We don’t normally hang out with builders.
Builder
Listen love, we’re bringing cement and bricks, all new materials, don’t mess with us.
Architect
He just called me love! Did you hear him? He just called me love! Misogynist!
Centurion
Aqueducts, public baths, Irrigation, Sanitation, Sewage workers. You’ve got your work cut out for
you. Lawyers? You’re in that group too.
Builder/Architect
Nooooo! Don’t put us with them!
Centurion
Quieten down now. Who is sorting out the language?
Linguist
Ut mihi. Veni, vidi, loquari! Quam es vus effectus?
(Means That’s me! I came, I saw, I made a speech! How can I be of assistance?)
Centurion
Um, yes? You might have to put the language on hold, you have to work out the calendar, and sort
out a benefits system for the poor. When you’ve done that we need you to invent public libraries.
Linguist
Oh, viscus tractus. (means ‘what a drag!)
Centurion
Finally, anyone bringing in any more flora or fauna?
Vet
I’ve brought cats. And carrots.
Centurion
Why?
Vet
I was talking to the road planners, and we were talking about people being able to see the road at
night and I was thinking about cats and being able to see in the dark… I’m still working on it… but I’m
sure there’s something there…
Farmer
And I’ve brought turnips and stinging nettles. Don’t ask me why.
Centurion
Look out, it’s the emperor! Attention!
(The Emperor walks in with a little notebook)
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Emp
I came, I saw, I liked. I came, I saw, I built things. I came, I saw, I froze to death. Oh, this is useless.
Where is the Emperor’s speechwriter?
SW
Here be I, your royal Emperorness.
Emp
Here be I? What kind of Latin Grammar is that? Anyway, I want you to write me a conquering speech.
SW
Er, yeah, all right, what is… I mean… what will it be…, what is it supposed to be about?
Emp
Just about conquering. Conquering in general. But I can’t fit it in. I thought about starting with ‘I came,
I saw…’ but then I get stuck.
SW
Right, well, I’ll look into it. “I came, I saw, I kicked their…
Emp
But you’ll have to hurry, I want it ready so I can proclaim it as I take my first steps onto the island.
Centurion
My Lord, we have arrived at the island.
SW
Conquering. Conquering. I came, I saw, I played conkers.
Emp
Now that we have safely disembarked and made our way onto English soil, we need to start building
immediately. Send in the carpenter, Ikea.
Centurion
Um, sir, she hasn’t come. But she did send this scroll.
Emp
Let me see…thank you for purchasing the new self-assembly city. Please lay out all your tools and
parts before you begin construction. What?
Centurion
It came with this box. (he holds out quite a small box.)
Architect
It says box 1 of 4000. So where’s the other 3999 boxes? This box can’t contain the materials for a
garden shed, let alone a Londinium or two!
Builder
Apparently Ikea was out of stock of quite a lot of what we needed at her shop.
Centurion
Typical. Queue for hours and the warehouse is empty.
Emp
So what’s in this box then?
Centurion
Swedish Meatball anyone?
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Alfred
(enters into the scene)
They did eventually manage to get some of the cities built. But they left in 410AD. Leaving the job
half finished and the country unprotected. No sooner had they gone than we were sitting ducks for
the Angles and Saxons and Jutes.
Romans
Oh my!
Alfred
Do you have to say that every time I do that line?
Romans giggle
Alfred
Yes I know, ha ha ha. But let’s not do that in the actual show shall we? Children you are. The lot of
you. Right. Where was I? Oh yes ...we were sitting ducks for Angles and Saxons and Jutes.
(Looks around warningly)
So, now we come to the Dark Ages.
(Sudden blackout)
Alfred
Subtle as a brick. But nothing much happened in the Dark Ages until one day.
Briton
Wait, I can see lights on the horizon! The Vikings are coming!
(Music, lights, smoke, big build up again. We hear Viking voices.)
Viks
Heave ho, heave ho, heave ho, heave ho, heave ho, heave ho, heave ho.
(The front end of the ship comes on. They go too far and we see it is only half a ship.)
Alfred
No, no stop, you’ve come on too far and the audience can see it’s only half a ship! Reverse, reverse!
Viks
Ho heave ho heave ho heave ho heave.
Eric
I am Eric, a Viking Chief. My Vikings and I have travelled a long way to settle here. The land is fertile,
the sky is blue and the people are easily subdued.
Neville
Father, the lads say they aren’t getting off the ship. (Blowing his nose.)
Eric
This is my son/daughter Neville/Ethel. Born to one day be a Viking Chief and as wet as his own
handkerchief. Neville, what have I told you? Use your sleeve! Now, what’s this about the men?
Nev
They don’t want to get off the longboats. They say it’s dull.
Eric
Dull? Take no nonsense from them Neville, I want them on the beach, now!
(Neville hurries off and then comes back on followed by the grumbling Vikings.)
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Eric
Come along now. That’s not how we walk into a new country is it? We practised this. Give it another
go.
Viks
Give us a V. Give us an I. Give us a K. Give us an ING. What do you get? VIKING! 2, 4, 6, 8, we’ve
come to assimilate, 2, 4, 6, 8, Viking food is really great! Go….. Vikings!
Eric
I suppose that will do. Now, what’s all this about you not wanting to invade?
Arin
It’s not that we don’t want to….
Bior
It’s more like, well, aren’t there better places?
Diarf
This island looks a bit boring.
Eric
Boring? Boring?
Diarf
Yeah, boring, dull, nondescript.
Eric
Do you want to go back home? Do you?
Finn
No, Mr Eric, sir. We want to go somewhere warm.
Gaut
Somewhere with palm trees and coconuts.
Eric
What are these things you talk about?
Hadd
He has a point, Gaut, what are you talking about?
Iarl
Never mind him, sir, he’s been at the ale.
Jon
Really? Gaut, what ale’sya?
(The rest of the Vikings stand looking awkward)
Jon
I said, what ale’sya?
Alfred
(entering)
What? Hang on everyone. Who put that awful joke in?
Eric
Actually, I did, I wrote this scene.
Jon
I like it, myself. Shows we aren’t afraid to push the envelope.
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Alfred
Push the envelope? We’ve sealed the envelope, put a stamp on it and sent it to the national
committee for bad jokes.
Arin
Is he going to complain about every scene we do?
Bior
Yeah, we’re doing our best.
Diarf
I’ve had enough to be honest. I’m missing ‘Strictly’ for this.
Egil
We drag ourselves out, cold winters night, the stage manager’s burned the costumes, there’s no help
backstage, some people haven’t even learnt their lines, and here we are, being moaned at. And for
what? Some weird historical pageant in which the only line I’ve got is this one.
(increasingly emotional)
This one pathetic line to make a big impression and leave the audience wanting more. One line in
which to bring true performance genius to this sad and shoddy stage. One line to show the range of
human emotions from A to Z and then to finish with a dramatic flourish. That’s it! There is no more!
That was my line! EXIT STAGE RIGHT!
(She goes off stage left. Polite applause from the cast for this performance)
Diarf
That was quite good. She ought to get a bigger part next time.
Egil
(sheepishly crossing the stage)
Er… went off stage left. Sorry.
Alfred
Can we all focus again please? Now, where were we?
Finn
Now look what you’ve done, you’ve gone and upset her.
Gaut
I think you should go and apologise.
Alfred
We are in the middle of our dress rehearsal!
Hadd
That’s no excuse to be nasty.
Iarl
Tell you what, you go and make it up to her, and we’ll finish the scene, alright?
Alfred
All right. But I’ll be listening on the backstage monitors!
Diarf
What an idiot. We need a new director.
Jon
Right, now, where were we? Oh yes. Boss, we don’t want to invade this island. It’s dull!
Eric
Men, I shouldn’t have to persuade you to do this. We all agreed and it’s in the contract. Loot, pillage,
plunder, set fire to things. Look, I know what you need. It’s ages since we had a proper battle. Let’s
find some natives and show them what for.
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Nev
What for?
Eric
Are you with me, men? Are you with me?
Men
Ya!
SONG – Hey, Hey, We’re the Vikings!
Here we come
From the cold North Sea
We get the scardiest looks from
Ev'ry one we meet.
Hey, hey, we're the Vikings
All the way from Norway towns.
And we're too busy looting
And trying to burn your houses down.
We go wherever we want to,
do what we like to do
We don't have time to get restless,
There's always something new.
Hey, hey, we're the Vikings
Scandinavian hordes
Got two horns on our helmets
And Britons on the ends of our swords.
We're just tryin' to invade yer,
Stealin all your money and gold,
We came here on a longboat
No wonder we’re so cold
Any time, Or anywhere,
Just look over your shoulder
Guess who'll be standing there
Hey, hey, we're the Vikings
All the way from Norway towns.
But we're too busy looting
And trying to burn your houses down.
[break]
Hey, hey, we're the Vikings
All the way from Norway towns.
But we're too busy looting
And trying to burn your houses down.
We’re from Norway and Denmark
Scandinavian hordes
Got two horns on our helmets
And Britons on the ends of our swords.
Hey, hey, we're the Vikings,
You never know where we'll be found.
so you'd better get ready,
We may be comin' to your town.
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William I
(being pushed onstage by the stage manager)
What? No, I can’t do it! Well find somebody else! Oh, all right. Greetings. Alfred is still pleading for
forgiveness, so I shall lead this part of the performance. I am William I, otherwise known as William
the Conqueror. I am a great Norman.
Stage Mgr
There’s no need to put yourself down.
William I
Look, do you want me to do this or what?
Stage Mgr
Sorry
William I
I present to you…The Battle of Hastings.
C1
Did you bring your sandwiches?
All
(ad lib)
Yeah, we did/I have/I made them myself
C2
This is gonna be brilliant!
C3
My mum said I wasn’t allowed to come, so it must be good.
C4
My mum’s on the tapestry team.
C5
So’s mine. She said it’s going really slowly.
C6
Can you see the army?
C7
Which one? I can see them both.
C8
They’re ready for kick-off.
C9
William’s invading army are all lined up, chomping at the bit, their archers already positioned for the
whistle.
C10
At the other end, having arrived on horse, but now mostly on foot, Harold’s infantry number merely
7,500.
C11
The defending team are looking eager though, and not at all daunted by the strength of the
opposition.
C12
And here we go, their commanders have finished their pep talks and the flags being raised…
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C13
Wow, look at them go!
C14
I can’t watch, I can’t watch, somebody tell me what’s happening!
C15
They’re just fighting. I can’t really see anything else.
C16
Ooo, no, look, there’s the king!
C15
Don’t, you’ll put him off!
C16
Hallooo! Halloooo! King Harold!
C17
Up here! Look up here! King Harold! Halloooo! It’s me! Derek! Look! He’s waving…
All
(in horror and distaste)
Oooooooo!
C18
That can’t be good!
C19
Well, that’s one in the eye for Harold.
(They all give her a look)
Sorry. Too soon?
C20
That might have been our fault.
C19
They’re looking this way. They don’t look very pleased.
C20
Hardly surprising as we’ve just got the king killed!
C21
Maybe we should go.
C22
What about the rest of the battle?
C23
We can catch up later on Tapestry of the Day. Come on.
William 1
st
And so it was that I, William 1 , defeated King Harold at Hastings and became ruler of this fair land.
Alfred
Everyone knows that story. I’m a bit worried that we aren’t showing the audience anything new.
William 1
But that’s the point of history, isn’t it? It should be old. How can you have new history, duh?
Alfred
Anyway, we’ve only got to 1066 and already it’s nearly the interval.
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William
True – we’d better speed up a bit…
1087
William is dead!
His son is made King
He’s called William too
Just to make it confusing.
1100
William is dead
And we can’t decide
Whether this was natural or fratricide!
But his younger brother, Henry I
Takes over England and rules it well,
For a time all is pleasant even for peasants
But he will soon hear his own death knell.
So this is where our story begins
With Henry I ruling as King
He has two children, a son and a daughter,
Sadly the young boy drowns in the water
Leaving a sister, poor young Matilda
But soon it was ambition which filled her....
Matilda
Dearest Father,
I was so sorry to hear about my brother’s death. It must have been such a blow for you. I wanted to
come home, but Heinrich is off busy doing Emperor type things and needs me to stay in Germany.
He sends his best wishes, by the way, and makes a good husband, although he has been quite ill
lately. What will you do now your only son is dead? Who will inherit your throne? Just asking you
understand.
From, your loving daughter,
Empress of Germany, Matilda.
Matilda’s husband, Heinrich V
Was dead and buried in old Deutschland
So she came straight home and hoped to find
Another feller to take her hand.
Known as Geoffrey the Handsome
He was a bit of a yuppie
And 11 years younger than her
He was just a puppy.
Henry I
Does my country fare well? And you all arrived here without hindrance? My days are numbered.
Lord 1
Long live the King!
Henry I
Yes, yes yes. When I am dead I want my daughter, Matilda, to inherit the throne. She will need your
full support.
Lord 2
But, um, Matilda, um, My Lord…
Henry I
Yes? What’s wrong with her?
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Lord 3
She’s a bit, well, bossy.
Henry I
Headstrong.
Lord 4
And nasty.
Henry I
She doesn’t suffer fools gladly. I can see why you would be worried. Nevertheless, as your King, I
command you to give me your oath that you will support her.
Lords
We swear it.
Henry I
Cross your hearts and hope to die?
Lord 1
Yes, my Lord. My Lord? Oh, he’s dead!
1130
Henry is dead!
Matilda came home and wept at his side
The Barons kept their promise true
They made her queen without a crown
Did exactly what they’d said they’d do.
But soon they learned it would be hard
To keep the queen from shouting loud
When she found things she didn’t like
She was cross and rude and proud.
Matilda wasn’t good at nice
Matilda wasn’t good at quiet
Matilda’s way of talking could easily cause a riot.
She was haughty and ill tempered
She spoke to people with harsh derision
And soon the Barons, tired of this,
Began regretting their decision.
Stephen de Blois claimed the throne
The cousin of Matilda
Grabbed the crown, became the King
And plotted how to kill her.
Stephen’s throne could not be safe
While threatened by Matilda.
Battles raged across the land
Neither side seemed stronger
But gradually it seemed as though
King Stephen would last longer.
Lord 1
The battle rages my Lords, Stephen’s army gets ever closer.
Lord 2
Then we must do something.
Lord 7
And what do you suggest? Suicide?
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Lord 8
Are you saying you would not lay down your life for your Queen?
Lord 7
Gladly, but I can’t see it doing any good.
Lord 3
She is the most hated woman in all of England. There is nowhere for her to go.
Lord 4
Surely some are still loyal?
Lord 2
We are the last few remaining.
Lord 5
Getting fewer by the moment.
Lord 8
And we must risk losing more.
Lord 2
Stephen will not stop until he is king.
Lord 1
Maybe the time has come to surrender?
Lord 3
You made a promise to Henry. We all did.
Lord 5
But Henry is dead…
Lord 4
But Matilda lives on. We must not give up.
(messenger enters, exhausted)
Messenger
Every officer is dead my Lords, and your men are fleeing.
Lord 3
Cowards!
Messenger
They have seen their friends killed beside them, for a queen they do not like; they have stood in
rivers of blood for Barons who do not fight with them. How much more would you ask of them?
Lord 6
You dare tell us how to run a war!
Messenger
I dare to tell you to leave now with Matilda.
Lord 7
He is right. The Queen must leave.
Lord 8
But we must stay and fight.
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SONG – RUN
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you, dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Matilda fled to Farringdon Castle
And waited there for news to come
Of how the awful battle went
And the whereabouts of Henry, her son
But instead there came a mighty cry
That Stephen’s men were all about
They surrounded the castle and stood firm
Matilda knew there was no way out.
For many weeks they were besieged
No food, no water made it through
And nothing else could make it out
Which meant the castle smelled of….
“Who will save us?” Matilda cried
And three strong knights stood by her side
We will dress ourselves all in white
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and escape, midwinter, at dead of night.
From the castle without a boat
They skated across the frozen moat
So Matilda and her allies fled
And snowy exile lay ahead
SONG (ALL) – SINCE YOU’VE BEEN GONE
I get the same old dreams, same time every night
Fall to the ground and I wake up
So I get out of bed, put on my shoes, and in my head
Thoughts fly back to the break-up
These four walls are closing in
Look at the fix you've put me in
CHORUS
Since you been gone, since you been gone
I'm outta my head, can't take it
Could I be wrong? But since you been gone
You cast the spell, so break it
Ohh, whoa, ohh
Ever since you been gone
So in the night I stand beneath the back street light
I read the words that you sent to me
I can take the afternoon, the night-time comes around too soon
You can't know what you mean to me
Your poison letter, your telegram
Just goes to show you don't give a damn
CHORUS
If you will come back
Baby, you know
You'll never do wrong, huh
Alfred
This is where I say: Now the time has come ladies and gentlemen, for you to take some
refreshment. Be back in 15 everyone. No, not yet. Finish the number first!
CHORUS
Since you been gone, since you been gone
I'm outta my head, can't take it
Since you been gone, since you been gone
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ACT TWO
SONG: Rose Rose Rose Red
"Rose rose rose red,
will I ever see thee wed?"
"I will marry at thy will, sire,
at thy will."
"Oh, poor bird!
Why art thou
flying in the shadows
of this dark hour?"
We create fast tableaux to demonstrate what’s happening
The trouble here with History
Is that it goes on for forever
So we’re gonna rush a bit
And lump some bits in altogether.
We saw in the first act
How bossy Queen Matilda
Had to run away in the snow
Or Stephen would have killed her
After Stephen, Henry 2
Came bursting on the scene
Killed Thomas Becket in a church
And Eleanor was his Queen
After him came Richard First
A lion hearted man
Liked to go off crusading
Throughout the Holy Lands
His little brother John was next
And wasn’t very good
Gave away a lot of France
And was mashed by Robin Hood
Then came Henry number 3
Who seemed to rule for ages
But nothing really happened then
That’s suitable for staging
Edward the First had a large ambition
And wanted to unite the land
He made his son the Prince of Wales
And grabbed the Queen of Scotland’s hand
Alas she died before they could wed
Was Edward’s plan doomed to fail?
NO! Invade Scotland was the plan
It’s here that we resume our tale.
(The stage is divided into two, one side being English, the other, Scottish)
Eng 1
News has come from the front that the English on the border are not that keen to fight.
Eng 2
Why on earth not?
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Eng 1
Well, you see, there are a lot of families that have lived on the border for years, with cousins on either
side. You are asking them to fight their own flesh and blood.
Eng 2
What of it?
Eng 1
They just won’t do it. We have had more luck with some of the Scots themselves.
Eng 3
We can’t persuade the English to fight the Scots, but we can get the Scots to fight the Scots?
Eng 4
There are feuds between clans that have lasted for years, as far as they are concerned this is just
like another brawl in the pub.
Wallace
This is not just some brawl in a pub! We are fighting for the freedom of our country, our clansmen,
our nation!
Scot 1
We have called on every clan we can! William Wallace, what else do you suggest?
Wallace
Go into the highlands, the lowlands, take the high roads and the low roads, walk 500 miles, walk 500
more, show them the letter from America!
Scot 2
From where?
Wallace
Never mind. Impress on every tribe the cost of surrendering to the English. They can take our lives,
but they can never take our freedom!
Scot 3
Um, that’s not strictly true, Billy-boy, is it? They can lock us up.
Scot 4
Or kill us.
Scot 5
And there is not a lot of freedom in being dead.
Scot 6
Yeah, it’s not as if having your head chopped off leads to a whole new exciting world of opportunities.
Wallace
Leave it. We will go ahead with the plan.
Scot 1
What plan?
Eng 5
The plan is to fight. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and
growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on
the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we
shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
Eng 6
Yes, very stirring. Perhaps there should be some music to go with it?
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Eng 4
Perhaps we ought to get moving? It’s nearly 4 o’clock.
Eng 1
Oh, smashing. Time for tea. Scone anyone? (rhymes with Gone here)
Scot 3
Scone anyone? (Rhymes with Soon here)
Scot 4
This is not the time for eating! We have to reclaim the rights of the Scottish people!
Scot 5
There’s no time for a referendum! We’d only narrowly lose that anyway which will lead to an extended
period of bitterness and resentment.
Scot 6
So what is the plan?
Scot 1
We’ll gather at dawn, and wait for them to attack. We’ll be waiting for them, quietly, in the Scottish
mist.
Wallace
That won’t scare the bloomers off them. First, we make a lot of noise.
Eng 2
And then what?
Wallace
We attack! Attack!
Dance: The Wars of Scottish Independence
Alfred the Great
And so, in conclusion, it was a brutal match here, Gary/Gaby – one that will keep them arguing in the
glens of Scotland for many years to come. Back to you in the studio!
Match of the day type set
Gary/Gaby
Thanks Brian – a fascinating match. But there’s plenty more in store here at Best Television, bringing
th
you the very Best in historical news and views. Just to remind you, we’ve reached the 14 century.
Alan, it was an interesting first half!
Alan
Yes, Gary/Gaby. Britain kept seeming to get hit on the break, but now our defences are better and
since William I came off the bench the fortress nation is looking much more secure. I can’t see
anyone else invading for quite a while!
Gary/Gaby
Thanks Brian. So it’s just coming up to 1415 now, so let’s go straight over live to catch up with the
team news before England’s crunch battle away against France at Agincourt. Back to Brian.
Brian
I’m here on the field now and it’s looking like the ground could cut up rough. With me is the English
manager, Henry V. Harry, a crunch match. And the French are the form team.
Harry V
Yes Brian, it’s always tough coming away to France. They play some nice stuff along the ground. But
the lads are all fit and up for it and if we can make some headway early doors we might just pinch a
result.
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Brian
Archers at the back?
Harry V
Yeah, The archers have done well since coming into the team. We’ll be looking to play the long bow
game early doors and then we’ll probably sit back and try and hit them on the break.
Brian
A win will see you topping the European Championship. You’ve got to be happy with that?
Harry V
We just take each battle as it comes and if at the end of the day we get a result we’ll be over the
moon.
Commentator
What will you be saying to the lads before they go out.
Harry V
I’ll have a wander round tonight and see how they’re feeling. One or two’ll need a little kick up the
backside but most of them know how important this one is.
Commentator
So, a little touch of Harry in the night?
Harry V
Exactly!
Commentator
Some of the media have been suggesting that you are horribly outnumbered, and that you could
really do with a few thousand of those Englishmen who are still at home, relaxing in bed?
Harry V
What's he that wishes so?
O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Brian, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian:'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names.
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
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And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
Brian
Stirring words, Harry. Good luck on the pitch.
Harry V
Cheers.
Brian
Back to the studio.
Gary/Gaby
Well, Brian, you can see why he’s so highly regarded as a leader!
Alan
True, but his army’s made up of kids. You don’t win anything with kids.
Gary/Gaby
Sorry to interrupt you, Brian, but its 1487 now. The Wars of the Roses are reaching their climax and
everyone agrees that the purple triangle ones are best. That was until the arrival of Richard III but I
believe there’s some breaking news about him. Let’s go straight over to Leicester for the press
conference…
Policeman
Good evening ladies and gentlemen. We’re here tonight to appeal for information concerning the
recent disappearance of the Princes in the Tower. It would appear that the boys, one a possible heir
to the throne, simply vanished whilst in the protective custody of their loving Uncle, Richard, who is
here with us now. He has asked to make a personal plea to whoever might be holding the boys. Your
majesty?
Richard III
Yes, thanks…I just want to ask… to plead.. with anyone who may know where these lads are… just
get in touch with us. Let them go. Their families miss them, their country needs them. Wherever you
are lads, don’t worry, your uncle will look after you.
Policeman
Now, are there any questions? Yes?
Journalist 1
Who do you think did this? Have you got a hunch?
Richard III
How dare you!
Journalist
I mean… do you have any clues? Has anyone been in touch?
Richard III
One guard said he had seen them but he’s …er… mysteriously disappeared too! I do hope that
anyone else who thinks they might have seen something comes forward so I can deal with them.. I
mean talk to them too.
Journalist 2
Yes, it seems as if all the potential witnesses have gone. And if the boys aren’t found?
Richard III
I don’t want to think about that… but I suppose I’d be forced to take the crown… just for the good of
the country that is.
Journalist 3
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And what do you say to the tabloids who’ve accused you of some involvement in the disappearance?
Richard III
The idea that I would lure these two lads to a tower, then hire some murderers from Sir James Tyrell
to go and kill them in their sleep and then secretly dispose of their bodies in a box buried near the
White Tower where they may well be dug up in a couple of centuries time is ridiculous and probably
libellous. They’ll be hearing from me.
Policeman
Is there anything else you’d like to ask from the public.
Richard II
`Yes, we really need a great detective to help us crack this case. A Poirot. A Holmes. A Marple. Or a
Morse! A Morse. My kingdom for a Morse!
Policeman
Your Kingdom?
Richard III
Sorry, slip of the tongue.
Policeman
Let’s hope it’s a slip and not famous last words.
Richard III
Now I must leave. I hate being in Leicester. Has anyone seen a car park ticket? I’ll be stuck in there
for ages unless I find it…
Gary/Gaby
We’ll keep you in touch with any breaking news there. But now it’s 1543 already and over to Hampton
Court where Jeremy Kyle who seems to be dealing with a very explosive situation…
Kyle
Today on the show it’s Henry VIII who’s swapped his fifth wife Catherine Howard for Catherine Parr
Catherine Parr
I can’t stand him. He’s a fat, useless layabout. Every time my back’s turned he’s either trying to
divorce me or behead me, just because I haven’t given him a male heir! And all he wants to do is sit
on the sofa watching jousting. I mean, how can you live with someone like that? But I’ll outlive’im, you
wait and see!
Henry VIII
She’s a lazy wench that Parr woman. All I ask for is a nine course meal at around 11am with a couple
of slices of ham and quince, perhaps a roast swan or two and a cake in the shape of a boat. Oh, and
that she bears me a male heir. If she carries on like this I’ll have to …er…get rid of her. Like the
others…
Kyle
So you admit getting rid of the others?
Henry VIII
Well…
Kyle
We’ve got the results of the lie detector test back.
Catherine Parr
This’ll show’im for what he is!
Henry VII
Shut up, wench!
Catherine goes for him.
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Kyle
Henry said Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard were executed because they were having affairs and
not because they couldn’t bear him a male heir.
Henry VIII
That’s right!
Kyle
The test says… you’re lying!
Catherine
See! I knew I was right!
Kyle
You’d both better head backstage where our counsellor is waiting to help you!
Next up, two sisters, Mary and Elizabeth. Mary wants to bring back Catholicism while Elizabeth’s all
about the Church of England! Mary keeps burning Elizabeth’s friends. It’s gonna get nasty! And be
warned – there may be scenes of strong violence including executions, burnings, beheadings and
general religious intolerance. Some things never change, eh? … But for now it’s 1605 and we are
going over to the Tower of London as Jack Bauer races against time to prevent another terrorist
attack.
Bauer
(interrogating a victim tied to a chair)
Give me a name!
Victim
Never. You’ll never stop him, Bauer. Parliament will be blown to hell. Ha! James and his cronies will
die in flames!!!
Bauer
I said, give me a name!
(moves towards victim menacingly)
FBI
No, Jack, don’t!
Victim
I’m not scared of you Bauer!
FBI
Jack, don’t – you know you’ll be thrown out if…
Bauer
The name, dirtbag, now!
(he pokes victim)
Victim
(Giggles)
That tickles!
(Bauer pokes him some more and the victim gradually is helpless with tickling)
FBI
(disgusted)
I can’t be part of this, Jack.
Bauer
If you haven’t got the guts to do what has to be done, then get out.
Now, scumball, the name!
Victim
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No, no, ha ha ha, no, yes, all right, stop it, ha ha, stop it, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you, its Fawkes! Fawkes!
GUY FAWKES. Ha ha now please stop. He’s got a bomb under Parliament. Please, please stop it?
Bauer
When will it blow?
Victim
Ha haha no, at about 10pm, please stop, please hahahahaha.
Bauer
(stops)
10, eh. That gives me 2 minutes and an ad break to get right across London. No sweat.
(he bounds off)
Victim
(calls after him)
You’re an animal, Bauer.
FBI
(admiringly)
Yes, but he gets results and will probably once again save democracy…
Gary/Gaby
Gripping stuff! Now it’s 1666 and we’re going live to the city of London for an update on those early
reports of a fire somewhere near Pudding Lane.
A group of people are standing around looking worried.
1
The fire is coming! The fire is coming!
2
It’s been coming for about 2 days now.
3
My cousin said her husband’s brother saw the street next to his go up in flames this morning.
1
It’s getting that close is it?
2
Maybe we should leave.
3
It’s too late. My friend’s niece has a boyfriend who said his uncle was a guard on the gate and it’s all
jammed up. They’re not letting anyone out.
1
What are we supposed to do then? We’re right between the fire and the river.
4
Ladies, ladies, we have just heard from Mr Samuel Pepys. He says we must create firebreaks.
5
What’s one of them then?
4
Well, it’s where we guess which way the fire is going to go and then pull down a couple of buildings in
it’s way leaving a gap that the fire can’t jump across.
3
My dad’s barber’s plumber said he had seen that once, and they pulled down this poor blokes house,
and then the wind changed and the fire went the other way.
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4
Well, nevertheless, we must do something. And the King has declared that there must be a firebreak
on this street.
1
You ain’t pulling down my house!
2
Nor mine neither! I’d rather take my chances.
3
It’s too late…. Can’t you feel it getting hotter?
4
Head for the river! Save yourselves!
DANCE: The Great Fire of London
Stage Mgr
Where are we up to, again?
Alfred
1666. That TV sequence worked quite well in moving things along.
Stage Mgr
But we’ve still got 360 years to go. We need to move on – we’re running out of time. The audience
will be arriving soon.
Alfred
Well we can skip James II’s battles with William of Orange as they all happened in Ireland, and
Queen Anne just made comfortable chairs as far as I can gather.
William I
But it all kicked off when the Germans from Hanover took over and the Scots revolted.
Alfred
Yes, we’ll do Bonnie Prince Charlie I think. Do you want to do the introduction for this?
William I
Yes, er…the Stuarts had been rebelling since George the first was crowned, and by the time his son
George the second took over things were in a dreadful state. James the second’s grandson Charles
Edward Stuart, or Bonnie Prince Charlie as he was more commonly known, led an army into England
in 1745 to restore the Stuarts to the throne. But he lost his nerve when reinforcements failed to arrive
and fled back to Scotland where his army was destroyed at Culloden. Charlie fled to the island of
Benbecula where he met Flora McDonald. Hearing that the English army was on his trail they had to
flee to the Isle of Skye, and they decided Charlie should go in disguise…
A costume shop. The shopkeeper is obviously exasperated. There is a screen behind which the
Prince is changing.
SK
So where is Bonnie Prince Charlie now?
Flora
Here. You can come in, your bonny highness. You’re amongst friends.
SK
This is Bonnie Prince Charlie?
Flora
Maybe the portraits flatter him a bit. But we’re not here for a beauty parade. We need a disguise.
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SK
Any thoughts as to what the disguise might be, your bonniness?
BPC
I don’t mind, as long as I remain (poses) bonny!
SK
How about this?
BPC
That’s a tourist tam o’shanter with and orange wig in it. Who’s that going to fool? And how do I
protect my bonniness?
Flora
Maybe something less obvious then. Something to do with the country?
SK
I’ve got a chicken costume.
Flora
You want the rightful King to escape as a giant chicken?
SK
It’s a bonny chicken!
BPC
I’m BPC, not KFC. The bonnynosity of the costume is irrelevant
SK
Maybe not then. How about this?
Flora
A bunny rabbit?
SK
No, A bonny rabbit!
BPC
I think not.
SK
How about a cow?
Flora
A cow?
SK:
I’ve got two. There’s Daisy, she’s a little threadbare, but very roomy. Or there’s Buttercup…er I mean
Bonny. She’s a bit smaller, but she does have adjustable udders.
BPC
A bonny cow? How on earth does a cow achieve bonnicity?
Flora
And we don’t have anyone to play the back end of the cow. And it’s going to look a bit silly taking a
cow, no matter how bonny it is, on a tiny boat out to sea.
SK
Hmm, then I’m afraid we have but one option left…your bonny highness will find the apparel hanging
over there.
BPC
(looks)
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By my oath, a woman’s weeds! No matter. As long as I retain my bonnacity, I will do anything to
escape the English dogs.
(He goes off)
Flora
But hurry, your bonny highness, for we must catch the evening tide.
SK
(sighs)
It’s been a hard time, Flora.
Flora
Aye, the Jacobite cause is lost and who knows what the English will do with us now.
SK
And yet you stay with Prince Charlie?
Flora
Someone has to. Someone has to keep the flame alive.
SK
You’re a brave woman, Flora McDonald. Now, his highness will need a name to book on the boat.
Flora
How about your/your wife’s name?
SK
What, Betty?
Flora
That’ll do. Betty er… Burke! Has a ring to it.
SK
Betty Burke it is.
BPC
Tarra!
(he twirls)
What do you think? Does my bum look big in this?
SK
You look ravishing, your highness.
Flora
Beautiful!
SK
Stunning!
Flora
Hot!
BPC looks unconvinced
SK/Flora
Bonny!
BPC
Then I am content!
SK
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Someone’s coming!
Flora
Do you have somewhere for us to hide?
SK
No, nowhere safe. You must leave now!
Flora
We must get to the boat. Betty, Charles, your majesty…. Shift it!
SK
I will hold them off my dear. Run.
BPC
(as they leave)
Couldn’t I be called Bonny, rather than Betty…..?
Flora runs off with Charles. The Shopkeeper tidies around him and then looks out to the audience.
SK
God speed Flora. God speed Betty Burke.
SONG: SKYE BOAT SONG
Starts with Yellows then gradually all cast join in. Last chorus sung solo.
[Chorus:]
Speed, bonnie boat, like a bird on the wing,
Onward! the sailors cry;
Carry the lad that's born to be King
Over the sea to Skye.
Loud the winds howl, loud the waves roar,
Thunderclouds rend the air;
Baffled, our foes stand by the shore,
Follow they will not dare.
[Chorus]
Though the waves leap, soft shall ye sleep,
Ocean's a royal bed.
Rocked in the deep, Flora will keep
Watch by your weary head.
[Chorus]
Many's the lad fought on that day,
Well the Claymore could wield,
When the night came, silently lay
Dead on Culloden's field.
[Chorus]
Burned are their homes, exile and death
Scatter the loyal men;
Yet ere the sword cool in the sheath
Charlie will come again.
Victoria
That’s far too sentimental.
William
What are you doing on stage. Victoria doesn’t come on for ages
Victoria
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Alfred said we had to skip to my bit or we wouldn’t finish in time.
William
Oh. So we’re skipping the Napoleonic wars and George’s three and four.
Victoria
And my Dad William the fourth to get to 1830 and my reign. But now Alfred tells me he wants me to
do a scene where I’m doing a ‘short informal walkabout’ in London and exchanging pleasantries with
the urchins. Would I really have done that?
William I
Er…does it really matter?
Victoria
Does it matter? Does it matter? I thought this was a proper historical re-enactment. I’m off.
William
Right… oh dear!
Alfred
Where was she going. She’s on now!
William
I know but she’s got the hump.
CS 1
Er, what do we do now? She’s supposed to be in our scene.
Alfred
You’ll just have to improvise. That’s what rehearsal is for. Get on with it. A street in Victorian London.
A street in London.
CS 1
Chimbley sweeping. Chimbley sweeping. Anyone need their chimbley sweeping?
CS 2
Oi! You! ‘Oppit! This is my patch!
CS 1
Yeah? Says oo?
CS 2
My and my broom, that’s oo. I’m the chimney sweep around ‘ere. Always ‘ave been.
CS 1
Oh, that’s all right then, innit, I’m not a chimney sweep, I’m a chimbley sweep.
CS 4
Same thing init?
CS 1
Nah, Chimbley sweeps are much cuter. It’s the loveable Cockney accent see?
CS 4
Oh. Right. Different niche in the market then.
CS 3
singing to the tune of ‘Who will buy my sweet red roses.
Oo ere needs their chimney sweeping? Cos I can sweep chimneys!
CS 2
Oi! Get lost! This is my patch!
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CS 5
Nah, wait, he’s a singing sweeper.
CS 6
Different again, see?
CS 5
I am a dancing sweeper (does a little bit of tap.)
CS 6
And I recite. The quality of mercy is not strained…..
CS 7
I’m a cheeky chappy chimney sweep, a good bit of banter guaranteed.
CS 8
And I do gloomy for no extra cost.
CS 9
You’re lucky. You only have to do straight, honest to goodness chimney sweeping.
CS 10
And it’s either this or the workhouse.
CS 11
You need to find yourself a talent mate.
CS 2
I can sweep chimneys! I’ll show the lot of you!
DANCE
Victoria
I’m glad this rehearsal is nearly over, that was sickening. When did that actually ever happen in
British history? Children singing and dancing together? Going on adventures?
Alfred
You’d be surprised. Look at the next scene.
Victoria
More singing children?
Alfred
I’m afraid so. But with good reason. Look, I’m sorry about your part. Why don’t you introduce the last
act?
Victoria
Really?
Alfred
Yes please – I think you’d do it well. I’ll check everyone’s ready backstage.
Victoria
Thank you, Alfred.
Alfred
It’s nothing… (he walks off) Are we ready for the evacuees scene…
Victoria
And so we come to end of my reign and the twentieth century. A time marked by wars, each one
more horrible than the last. The First World War snatched away a whole generation of British fathers
who went overseas, never to return. We thought such a war could never happen again, but all too
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soon we were proven wrong in the horror of World War II. And this time, the terror came to our
streets. How would you have felt as a child in the Blitz?
Teacher
Now, children, you must all be very brave. Tomorrow we are going to pack up our things and travel a
long way into the country on a very exciting adventure. We’re going into the beautiful countryside
where the bombs won’t be able to find us! We are going to go with our friends, but we might all end
up in different places. Even so, we are going to put cheerful faces on, aren’t we, because we need to
show everyone that we are not afraid. And your mummies wouldn’t want to see that you’re worried,
would they. So tomorrow morning, we will all meet at the station with one suitcase, our gas masks
and our bright, best smile. Until tomorrow then, everyone. And, say goodbye nicely to your Mummies
won’t you. Give them a special hug.
(pause – she thinks of her own situation)
Mummies need hugs.
Mum
Dear Jack, God I miss you. I hope you’re keeping well and out of trouble. But knowing you, you’ll be
getting stuck in. Just you keep your head down, eh?
Well, you said it would happen and it has. No sooner have you signed up and gone, but they are
taking the kids away too. They reckon old Adolf’ll be sending over more of his bombers and that the
kids’ll be safer out in the countryside. Maybe they’re right. At least we’ll both know they’re safe, no
matter what happens to us. Me? I’ve got to stay here and work. Tommy and Matilda take the first
train out of Paddington tomorrow and I won’t know where they end up ‘til they write to me. I hope
wherever they end are the folks there are kind to ’em. Jean from next door gets to go with hers cos
she’s got the baby, so I’m going to be stuck here all on my own.
There’s plenty of jobs going at the munitions factory down the road and the girls have said there’s
overtime to be had too. That’ll keep me busy. Be good to be doin’ my bit, anyway. No time to worry
about you or the kids then, see? You will be careful, Jack, won’t you? Keep yer head down and
come home safe to me and the kids. Help me to be brave, Jack. Please help me to be brave.
There is the sound of a railway station with steam trains. Smoke etc. Evacuees (greens and possibly
blues come on in a snake) and looking nervous and
SONG ‘WHISTLE A HAPPY TUNE’.
Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect
I'm afraid.
While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows
I'm afraid.
The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people
I fear I fool myself as well!
I whistle a happy tune
And ev'ry single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I'm not afraid.
Make believe you're brave
And the trick will take you far.
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are
Whistle
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You may be as brave
As you make believe you are
On the back wall there are slides of pictures from WW1 and WW2.At the end of the song the group,
in silhouette, turn to look at the pictures. A single child steps out into a spotlight and sings again,
quietly, the first verse. She hugs her bear. The group whistle sadly and walk slowly off.
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Alfred
To the audience.
Times have changed. England has changed. The world has changed, and not always for the better.
Watch the people though. They are still building lives for themselves in our Britain,
This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,-This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this Britain.
whoever they are and wherever they come from, they are still writing history.
To the cast
All right everyone. Not bad for a dress rehearsal. Let’s have one go at the finale and then we can all
go home. And, thanks. You’ve been, well… awesome.
Stage mgr
Finale places everyone!
SONG – UNWRITTEN
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm
undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand,
ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you
could not find
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you
could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
BOWS
Music fades to leave singing a cappella
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are
outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make
mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you
could not find
THE END
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