Wedding Guidelines
Guidelines and Resources for the planning of your
wedding at Mary Our Queen.
Mary Our Queen Church
3405 South 118th Street
Omaha, NE 68144
Includes:
• Map of Preparation
• Required Documents and Fees
• Policy regarding conduct in the church
• Policy regarding wedding music at Mary Our Queen
• Musician Information
• Song Suggestions
Congratulations!
As a newly engaged couple, you have many important
decisions ahead of you. Please use this packet as a
resource in the planning of your wedding at Mary Our
Queen. You will find helpful information regarding the
policies here, as well as resources for selecting the music
and musicians for your special day.
Please read through this packet to begin the process of
planning your wedding and selecting the music. We will
be happy to answer any questions you have about our
policies, and look forward to working with you in
preparation of your marriage celebration here at Mary
Our Queen.
Contact Information
Mary Our Queen Church
3405 South 118th Street
Omaha, NE 68144
Reverend Robert K. English, Pastor
333-8231 Ext. 1200
Renee Spicka, Office of Music and Liturgy
333-8231 Ext. 1210
Email: rlspicka@archomaha.org
Page 2
Table of Contents
Map of Preparation for the Life Journey of Marriage
Page 4
People to Meet
Page 6
Wedding Standards
Page 7
Required Documents
Page 8
Church Fees
Page 9
Church Policies
Page 9
Conduct
Alcohol, Gum, Food, and Soft Drinks
Page 9
Rehearsal
Page 9
Pictures
Page 10
Times of Occupation
Church
Page 10
Bride’s Room
Page 10
Environment
Policy for Wedding Music
Page 10
Page 11
Policy for Cantors / Soloists
Page 12
Wedding Musicians
Page 12
Suggested Songs
Ceremonial Songs
Prelude
Page 13
Seating of Parents
Page 13
Processional
Page 13
Unity Candle
Page 14
Recessional
Page 14
Additional Selections
Marian Dedication
Page 14
Our Father
Page 14
Catholic Mass
Page 3
Responsorial Psalm
Page 15
Gospel Acclamation
Page 15
Preparation of the Gifts
Page 15
Eucharistic Acclamations
Page 15
Communion
Page 15
Map of Preparation for the Life Journey of Marriage
Call Parish
Begin process as soon as possible, 6 month minimum,
8 months to 1 year ideal
Only the pastor or associate pastor can set the time and date with
the couple.
You need to be a member of Mary Our Queen for one year, or
have some history with Mary Our Queen before you may schedule
a date for a wedding, and 6 months of marriage preparation is required by the Archdiocese of Omaha.
*There is a $50.00 non-refundable deposit fee for reserving a date
for your wedding. This payment will apply to the final fees given to
Mary Our Queen.
Attend Pre-Session
As soon as possible, attend 3 hour session offered
throughout Archdiocese
All couples begin their preparation for marriage by attending a
Marriage Preparation Pre-Session provided by the Archdiocese of
Omaha.
This is a three-hour meeting that will include:
•
•
•
information about marriage in the Catholic Church,
a lecture on communication skills,
a FOCCUS (pre-marriage inventory) will be administered.
A brochure will provide information concerning when and where
these meetings will be held.
No reservations are necessary. Your answer sheets for the
FOCCUS will be processed and sent to the priest with whom you
will meet.
Page 4
Complete FOCCUS Sessions
Meet with priest for in-depth look at FOCCUS issues.
Attend Education Options
All couples are required to attend one of the following
marriage preparation programs:
Engaged Encounter Weekend
When Families Marry Sessions
Remarriage Program
AdditionallyNFP Training
Ecumenical Marriage Panel
It is important that this be completed three months prior to
the wedding date.
Attend Special Sessions for
Inter-religious Couples
with parish priest or staff
Prepare Wedding Liturgy
Contact the Office of Music and Liturgy at least three
months before your wedding
Resource: Marriage: A Journey booklet
Page 5
Celebrate – Liturgy
People to Meet
Priest:
It is an honor and privilege for your parish priests to prepare you
for marriage and to witness your vows.
Delegated Priests:
If you wish to have another priest (for example a relative) officiate
at your marriage, the pastor or associate pastor must be
consulted. The priest who is going to officiate at your marriage is
required to provide the prenuptial preparations, provide the
necessary paper work, and assist you in the planning of your
liturgy.
FOCCUS Counselor:
After the results of your FOCCUS have been received by the
priest, he may give you the name and phone number of a trained
FOCCUS counselor from our parish. Contact this person to begin
a series of appointments concerning you FOCCUS results.
Parish Office:
Call the parish administrative assistant to verify your current and
future status (remaining or leaving the parish after the wedding)
within the parish.
Music:
The marriage ceremony is a liturgical occasion, necessitating
music written for liturgy. Couples must contact Renee Spicka at as
soon as your date is established to make arrangements for the
music. The music ministry information included in this packet will
provide specific guidelines for musicians, cantors, and music.
Contact Numbers are included on page 3 of this booklet.
Page 6
Wedding Standards
Eucharistic or Non-Eucharistic Weddings:
The couples may decide between a service or a Mass.
Witnesses:
There are two official witnesses to your ceremony. Your witnesses
do not have to be Catholic.
Attire:
All wedding attire should be respectful of the sacramental nature
of your marriage vows.
Flower Girls/Ring Bearers:
Children should be mature enough to proceed down the aisle on
their own. Neither the flower girl nor the ring bearer may throw
petals, confetti, etc. as they walk down the aisle.
Lectors:
Lectors must be Catholic if celebrating a Nuptial Mass. If Mass is
not celebrated, then the lectors must be baptized Christians. Each
lector is to be present at the rehearsal in order to practice using
the microphones. Couple provides lectors.
Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion:
The use of EMHC’s should be discussed with the one who will
preside at the Nuptial Mass. Couple provides a properly mandated
EMHC according to Archdiocesan policy.
Sacristan:
A sacristan is a lay minister who will assist the priest in liturgy
preparation. The parish will assign him or her.
Servers:
If you choose to use servers, they must be properly trained to
serve a Nuptial Mass.
Page 7
Required Documents
Marriage License:
A license must be acquired in the state where the marriage is
contracted. The license packet needs to be given to the priest no
later than the wedding rehearsal. Information on how to obtain a
marriage license can be found online:
Douglas County:
www.douglascountyclerk.org/marriage-licenses/requirements
Sarpy County:
http://www.sarpy.com/clerk/marriage_license.html
Prenuptial Investigation:
This information will be completed with the priest. Information
includes names of parents, dates of sacraments, length of
courtship, freedom to marry and other topics. Each party will be
interviewed separately. All records will be kept in our parish files.
Baptismal Certificates:
For all Catholics, the priest will need a copy of the baptismal
Certificate which is less than 6 months old, while any Baptismal
certificates from Non-Catholics is acceptable. Catholics will need
to call the church where one was baptized for this document. The
Catholic certificate will be kept in the church’s wedding file. The
certificate of non-Catholics will be returned.
Freedom to Marry Form:
A close relative testifying that you have never been married
completes this form. The priest can forego this based upon his
personal knowledge of the couple.
Interfaith Marriage:
The priest must seek a dispensation (permission) from the
Archbishop. The priest will give instructions about the Catholic
Faith in order to inform the non-Catholic about the beliefs of the
Catholic Church.
Page 8
Church Fees
Parish Stipend:
A minimum stipend of $200.00 is paid to Mary Our Queen Church,
to accommodate the additional cleaning of the facilities that a
wedding warrants. The $50 deposit is collected at your initial
meeting with the priest, and goes toward the $200 stipend.
In addition to the parish stipend, a minimum offering of $100
should be made to a visiting priest or deacon, who is the main
presider. This is typically done at the rehearsal.
Musicians:
Financial arrangements for the parish musicians vary and will be
handled through the Office of Music and Liturgy. Fees are to be
paid and given to Renee Spicka at least three weeks before the
wedding date.
Church Policies
Alcohol and Gum:
Mary Our Queen has a smoke/gum free environment. Alcoholic
beverages are not permitted on church ground before, during, or
after the ceremony.
Food and Soft Drinks:
NO food or drink is allowed in the worship space or sacristy. You
may have light food and water / soft drinks in the future sacristy
and in the bride’s room.
Rehearsal:
The rehearsal for your wedding is usually held the night before. All
participants in the marriage ceremony, except musicians, need to
be present. If the marriage license and fees have not been
submitted, please do so no later than the rehearsal.
Page 9
Church Policies
Pictures:
Photography, including video cameras, is permitted in church. Still
pictures are encouraged before the ceremony. Please inform the
photographers to identify themselves to the priest before the ceremony. No photographer should interrupt the flow of the wedding
ceremony, including the entrance/exit of the wedding party.
Times of Occupation (Worship Space Use):
Friday Evening Weddings are typically held at 5:00 or 6:00pm.
Wedding Parties will have use of the Church, Bride’s Room, and
Future Sacristy from 2:30-7:30pm.
Saturday afternoon Weddings are typically held at 2:00pm.
Wedding Parties will have use of the Church, Bride’s Room, and
Future Sacristy from 11:30am -3:45pm.
Church Environment:
Tape can damage the wood and floors and may not be used on
any furnishings, floors, walls.
Flowers: The wedding party provides all flowers for the church
ceremony. Live flowers are preferred. The flower arrangements
should complement rather than detract from the sacredness of the
sacrament. Because the altar is the focus of our worship, no flower
arrangements will be allowed directly on the altar. It is our policy to
not decorate the baptismal font. All flower stands are to be provided by your florist. Throwing flower petals/confetti in church is prohibited. Couples who plan marriages in Advent or Lent need to
keep in mind the special nature of these times and may not remove the seasonal Liturgical decorations in the church.
Pew Bows are allowed as long as they are not attached by tape
or any material that may damage the pew.
Page 10
Church Policies
Candles (candelabras) must be of the dripless, Paradise brand
name (candle within a metal sleeve) style. Plastic or toweling must
be under candelabras. All candles for the center aisle must be
contained in glass receptacles. The candelabras, candles and other wedding items are to be removed immediately following the ceremony. Any repair or cleanup expenses will be charged to you.
Throwing Rice, birdseed, or confetti is prohibited on church
grounds. Please inform your wedding party of this. You will be held
responsible for any liability due to injury and/or bills for any cleanup if this restriction is not followed.
Church Furniture:
Chairs, tables, candle stands, etc., are not to be moved before or
after the ceremony without the expressed permission of the priest.
Tidy-up:
You should appoint someone from your party to tidy up the dressing room and other parts of the Church that you use. You also
need to appoint someone to watch your valuables during the
church service. The parish is not responsible for loss of any valuables.
Policy for Wedding Music
The Music chosen for a wedding celebration must maintain the
norms of good sacramental liturgy, therefore, no secular songs are
allowed either within or outside the Mass. All music to be
performed at your celebration will be performed by trained and
capable musicians, therefore no pre-recorded music is allowed.
Financial arrangements for the parish musicians vary and will be
handled through the Office of Music and Liturgy. Fees are to be
paid and given to Renee Spicka at least three weeks before the
wedding date.
Page 11
Cantor Policy for Wedding Music
The cantor will sing the Responsorial Psalm, Gospel Acclamation,
and the Eucharistic Acclamations. According to the rules set forth
by the Archdiocese of Omaha:
• The cantor must be of the Catholic faith.
• The cantor must be active in serving his/her parish in the role
of Cantor.
The cantor will meet with the accompanist to practice all music for
the wedding ceremony. This meeting is usually a 1-hour session.
Additional time may result in an extra fee by the accompanist.
The cantor must be an active music minister at Mary Our Queen.
If an additional soloist is requested and approved, you may incur
an additional expense for that individual.
Wedding Musicians
Wedding musicians are an important part of your ceremony. Mary
Our Queen offers a great variety of pianists, cantors, and
instrumentalists that are extremely qualified and familiar with the
guidelines of the Catholic Church of weddings. Musicians chosen
for your wedding must be active in the music ministry at Mary Our
Queen. You may choose to have an accompanist, and a cantor/
soloist, a small ensemble, the full choir, or other options to provide
music for the ceremony.
Why the mandate to use only approved musicians? Sacred Music
during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is not a performance; it must
foster prayer. These musicians have been trained to ensure a
prayerful setting in which the Priest can lead the congregation in
prayer.
Also, they are familiar with Mary Our Queen’s
instruments, as well as proper volume, sound, etc., so important
for proper and reverent effect. In the past, allowing unapproved
musicians has resulted in serious damage to the musical
instruments, costing the Church expensive repair fees.
The fees for musicians are set by the parish and are based on
local and national norms. The fee includes prelude music and one
postlude piece. If any additional time is needed, an additional fee
may be added.
Page 12
Songs for the Ceremony
The following songs are the most common songs utilized for
Catholic Weddings. You may use this as a guide. Other songs
are permitted with the approval of the Music Director.
Prelude
Preludes are played or sung while guests are being seated prior to
the processional. Chosen songs should speak of union in the
Sacrament of Matrimony.
Air
George Frederic Handel
Air on the G String
Johann Sebastian Bach
The Gift of Love
Hal Hopson
How Beautiful
Twila Paris
I Will Be Here
Michael W. Smith
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring
Johann Sebastian Bach
Meditation
Jules Massenet
The Prayer
Carol Bayer Sager
Sheep May Safely Graze
Johann Sebastian Bach
Wedding Song (There is Love)
Traditional
Seating of Parents and Grandparents
You may choose to have a special song played or sung while the
parents and grandparents are escorted down the aisle.
Panis Angelicus
How Beautiful
Parent’s Prayer
César Franck
Twila Paris
Greg Davis
Processional
An instrumental processional will facilitate a grand and prayerful
entrance for you and your wedding party. You may choose one
song for all entrances, or one song for the wedding party and one
for the bride and her father.
Canon in D
Largo
Ode to Joy
Trumpet Tune
Trumpet Voluntary
Wedding Processional
Page 13
Johann Pachelbel
George Frederic Handel
Ludwig Van Beethoven
Jeremiah Clarke
Jeremiah Clarke
from The Sound of Music
Unity Candle
The unity candle is lit to symbolize the sacrifice of one’s
independent life to join into marriage with their spouse. A song
may be sung or played during this time.
As We Light This Candle
The Gift of Love
Make Us One
Only God Could Love You More
The Prayer
Wedding Prayer
The Wedding Song
Tim and Julie Smith
Hal Hopson
Paul Johnson
Dwight Liles
Carol Bayer Sager
Fern G. Dunlap
Traditional
Recessional
The recessional is played as the new couple recess down the aisle
as man and wife. A grand instrumental piece is suggested; it can
bring a cheerful and prayerful ending to the wedding ceremony.
Allegro Maestoso
Hornpipe
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring
Ode to Joy
Rondeau, The Masterpiece
Trumpet Tune
George Frederic Handel
George Frederic Handel
Johann Sebastian Bach
Ludwig Van Beethoven
Jean-Joseph Mouret
Jeremiah Clarke
Additional Songs
Marian Dedication
This is an optional part of your wedding recognizing Mary the
Virgin as our Mother. If this is done, it is typical for the bride and
groom to pay homage to Mary while the song is being sung by
putting flowers by her statue.
Ave Maria
Ave Maria
Hail Mary, Gentle Woman
Franz Schubert
J.S. Bach/Charles Gounod
Carey Landry
Page 14
Songs for the Catholic Mass
Responsorial Psalm
The Psalm serves as a response to the first reading. After
choosing the desired psalm for your wedding, contact the music
director to discuss different musical settings for that psalm.
Gospel Acclamation
The Gospel Acclamation is sung to announce the reading of the
Gospel verse.
Preparation of the Gifts
A song may be played or sung during the procession of the gifts.
This song is excluded if a full mass is not being celebrated. Any
offertory hymn will be appropriate.
Eucharistic Acclamations
You may choose from any familiar mass setting for your wedding.
Communion
The Communion song is sung during the sacrament of Holy
Communion. It should create a sense of community as well as be
simple with a short repetitive refrain. It should speak of the
expression of the joy of the unity in the Body and Blood of Christ
and the fulfillment of the mystery being celebrated.
Eye Has Not Seen
Gift of Finest Wheat
How Beautiful
I am the Bread of Life
Make Us a Eucharistic People
One Bread One Body
Song of the Body of Christ
Taste and See
Taste and See
In The Breaking of the Bread
One Love Released
Bread, Blessed and Broken
I Am The Living Bread
This Bread That We Share
One in Body, Heart and Mind
Page 15
Marty Haugen
Robert Kreutz
Twila Paris
Suzanne Toolan
Tim and Julie Smith
John Foley S.J.
David Haas
James E.Moore
Bob Hurd
Bob Hurd
Robert Frenzel
Michael B. Lynch
David Haas
Dominic Mc Aller
Christopher Walker