Examples of Flirting In The Movies
(Nov. 08)
I don’t have the dvd timecodes but you can find the scenes next time you see any of these
or even recall them in your mind.
Women will show signs of interest and attraction in response to you. Here are just some
examples in the movies. This is what to look for and this is what matters. I will reference
actresses by their real name instead of character name.
With most movies with men and women as leads there is obviously something going to
happen and their relationship will develop..it’s just clearer to see examples where the
women themselves are opening up the path at the beginning or along the way instead of
the man doing all the work. (With attraction, they will helping you too).
I kind of looked to my collection for most of these and I will reference others as I
continue to remember them through time (an expanded edition) & show clips at future
seminars.
-Rion Williams
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Jennifer Grey in the scene with Charlie Sheen on a couch in the precinct..on the stairs
afterwards is very attracted and flirty.
Win A Date With Tad Hamilton
Kate Bosworth and how natural she is as the reason the movie star wants to be with her
more. Also how her co-worker shows CLEAR attraction when Tad is around.
Joe Vs. The Volcano
One of my favorite movies for many reasons. Meg Ryan plays all 3 of his love interests.
Look at how stunned DiDi is when he finally becomes Alpha from his leverage point
upon quitting his job. He finally gets the girl. Watch their attraction build..hand across the
table, NYC ferry ride and making out back at his place. Angelica is giving him clear
verbal signs at the lookout point in L.A. but is going through her own issues..she offers to
come up but he turns her down. Falls in love with Patricia through the rest of the movie.
3 Amigos
My 2nd favorite comedy ever..goofy yet somehow understated, brilliant and quotable.
The way the eligible women whisper to each other at dinner. The look on Steve Martin’s
face near the end when Ned gets a passionate kiss is amazing.
Old School
The high school girl and how she approaches, beds and remains interested in Mitch even
though her father is his boss. Through more experience you’ll realize that when you think
things would be getting screwed up, they’re actually helping create stronger attraction
like when he’s on the eggs and coffee date and Ellen Pompeo leaves after the young girl
stops by. This movie keeps growing on me.
XXX
When Vin’s at his party and the video game promoter girl talks to him. When he’s at the
indoor op center with the x-ray vision, the way the shooting lady looks at him.
Cocktail
The waitresses at the first bar and other girls. I love the line, “when you can see their
panties” (which has happened to me before). Being a bartender is a social alpha thing but
you can see real attraction when you look in the barfly’s eyes even at the other club. The
whole Jamaican romance sequence is good; obvious attraction. When he takes a risk
with the rich cougar, the way it changes the dynamic of the relationship. Look at how the
women light up and smile around him. Her dumping plate of food on him is in a strange
way a healthy sign of lingering attraction (though you wouldn’t think it); there is still a
strong emotional connection. Notice that at the cougar’s new york place, he becomes the
boytoy and she has the relational authority and an alpha can’t be repressed like that! I
love the soundtrack and a lot of things about the movie.
The New Guy
This is more of a social expose but you’ll see from the popular girls how interested they
are (social proof came first) like when he lights the statue on fire as a bad boy.
Shallow Hal
A lot of things to talk about here. The scene with the nerdy looking girl both when he
first hits on her (as hot) and later when he sees her as ugly - she is very interested in
him and fumbling around. Also his neighbor becomes interested in him after he sleeps
with Gwyn (as fatty) and shows her interest at a dinner table.
Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
I mentioned this in ‘Overcoming Fear of Aphrodite’s’ audio cd program; the elevator
scene where he visualizes himself more confident but in reality doesn’t say anything.
Equalize the power and you’ll be able to just make that first connection whether she
smiles at you or not. Coming of age as Harold turns more alpha at the end.
2 Weeks Notice
Definitely a RomCom. But look at Sandra’s actions when she’s interested in him, even
when he’s seeing other women. On the boat where she gets tipsy and talks about ‘I can
do that pretzel thing with my legs’. Yes you will often find more verbal cues as well, the
more you can trigger attraction - especially from independent women who aren’t as in
touch with the nonverbal cues.
10 Things I Hate About You
I like this movie. It often takes an extreme outcast to reach through to ‘hands off’ closed
off, repressed independent women like that (Julie Stiles) for whatever her reason may be.
Don’t get thrown off, focus instead on attraction itself. Yes they have a polarity and
tension but she doesn’t open away from her logic up until after Heath sings that song.
Then her own behavior is affected by showing her bra in detention to sneak him out and
watch how playful they are with the paint balloon scene..romping can be a great way to
escalate. It’s natural and playful. She’s very sensitive to an agenda when he asks her to
prom - a woman’s intuition is strong. Also, her younger sister Bianca is much more open
and flirty with guys.
Back To The Future
The way his young mom is flirting with him starting in the bedroom and especially at the
dinner table. Also how she is pushed back into her locker when she sees him and how
even Doc notices ‘this is worse than I thought’. I love this movie..one of the best of the
80’s if not THE best. Also deals with the topic of Causality very well.
Meet Joe Black
Claire Forlani did really well here..quite natural. Where he meets her in the diner, you
can see her attraction growing..a lot is happening in that one scene and fast - value on all
levels. The seduction scene was strange yet still erotic because she is so natural even
though he was being Beta inexperienced and not confident there.
007 notes
Attraction is all over the place because he is the stimulus. Women know he’s already solid
in energy and character instantly. Look for it growing in his communication with them
and how they accelerate things physically. When he enters a casino or a poolside there
will usually be other women looking or doing the patented ‘once over’ look, even whispering to each other or glancing to another girl. There is a LOT to cover on the Bond
subject..in fact I started doing research to create a separate product on it a year or two ago
but a hard drive crashed so I dropped further work.
Swept Away (travolti da un insolito destino nell’azzurro d’agosto) 1974
One of the KEY resources mentioned in A.R.D. Too much to talk about here other than
Social Alpha woman turns into natural alpha as a response to the man. A MUST see..this
will clarify a lot of what I’m teaching.
Rocky
Really just an understated amazing polarity they have. The scene where they kiss at the
door is phenomenal..it’s more focused on the power of the man but he is bringing out her
nature even though she is shakily unconfident...it really is a magical mix and I think his
relationship with her worked better than they intended. When you almost feel a need to
‘protect’ a girl, that kind of co-dependency does bring deeper emotions into play - I was
in a relationship like that in Hawaii.
The Wedding Planner
Very independent woman J.Lo gets saved by Matthew McConaughey showcasing all
kinds of value with the hospital. How she fixes her hair and lipstick as he’s walking back
to the office is a healthy, clear sign. When her co-worker shows up, this is gold though.
Watch how she behaves and even sets up the date. Good escalation so soon as they dance
in the park for the first time but I felt there could have been more chemistry at that point.
Note also that the Italian guy is interested in her but it doesn’t really matter because she
doesn’t have attraction for him. It’s the woman that has to be attracted (and when you’re
attracted, keep your power and don’t do anything to screw it up). He has to keep persisting just to get somewhere; is that what you want (even though there is personal value in
the emotion of hopeless love?)
Wedding Crashers
Don’t get too thrown off by this one..there’s a lot of focus on ‘game’ and hunting with a
skeezier side to it..these guys would probably be really annoying in reality because you
don’t have to be near so brash to succeed. It is a really good modern comedy though REALLY hilarious at some points. Good nonverbal eye contact with the potential girls
putting dibs on when they’re in the wedding pews. That small subtle ‘look’ from her
means a LOT..it’s close to ON if he just does the right things. You want that look more
often!
It’s A Wonderful Life
One of my favorite movies of all time. If you’re not affected by it, check your pulse.
Anyways, when he first meets Mary in the gym, the way she has deer-in-headlight eyes,
jumps startled back and can’t stop staring at him. And they go into a dance soon after
with prodding from her brother. I also love the scene where he’s negative and stops by at
her house how she’s wanting to make it work and then finds a way to get him back. Nothing less than an eternal classic. Note also how Vi is such a more open flirt all of the time
but knows how to push men’s buttons to have her choice over them.
Enchanted
Amy Adams did a good job being natural here. I didn’t see all of it but she just isn’t as
influenced by NYC because she is already behaviorally natural. (Note: These are not
definitive comments on each movie, nor a full critique by ANY means..just some quick
references on female acting and sexual dynamics).
Grease
An inside look into how girls talk about things just as much as guys. I like how he tries
to get physical, she rejects him and what he does right after. Just a lot to say on this
one on all kinds of levels (jealousy, dynamics, social, manipulation, romance, shifting
roles, etc.) but notice how a group of girls will sometimes swoon for a clear alpha guy.
Charlie’s Angels
More clear examples of intentional flirting towards manipulation affect like in some 007
movies. It’s almost like prickteasing when they’re using their ‘wiles’ to get something
and misleading a man. What you want is real flirting and with more experience you’ll
be able to tell if it seems TOO good to be true that fast from her, there may be a hidden
agenda behind it (very advanced) like Mandy approaching Al Pacino in ‘Any Given Sunday’ and then giving him a price range.
American Pie
A lot to say about this movie which I’ve referenced before. I love all 3 of them but we’re
talking about flirting examples or signs of attraction. Yes you can ‘do’ romantic things
(with power) like showing up at band camp and kissing her on stage but we’re looking at
those earlier signs especially that START relationships and give you more clarity. The
best example is clearly Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth).
Even when he approaches them at the party she is giving nonverbal cues that it’s ok to
approach. The more experience you have, the more confidence and the more you get in
touch with nature, the clearer those subtle signs will become. When there’s enough interest women may just take straight out indirect or direct action on it like asking him to be
her tutor and changing there after
ballet practice.
Wicker Park
A different style of movie with it’s cutting but you can pick up things just watching how
women act when they’re interested in a man. When you have more than one woman
interested in you and they know about each other..this gets into platinum coaching area!
I’ve been in this dynamic several times this year alone and ended up physical with both
women. The dynamic can easily create more attraction, lust, competition and desire for
the one man. Don’t do it out of manipulation or to somehow fast forward things to live
fantasies because I think if you use it as a ‘technique’ and don’t have enough experience
1 on 1 with women, you’re going to screw it up anyways most likely. They’ll see through
your incongruencies or any manipulation so others may want you to do it if you’re an
amateur but if you’re doing it to make up for a weakness to try and leverage more manufactured attraction between them, good luck. It’s definitely a single man bachelor thing to
do and women get a kind of value out of it too.
Love Actually
The scene where the one character is in the car with the Portuguese housemaid is a
perfect example of nonverbal tension and chemistry..the eye contact they have going on
there. Study this scene. I haven’t seen it in a while and I know there are other attraction
points.
Bowfinger
See how social it is..she’ll sleep with who she has to in order to get a higher position.
You don’t want any agenda; don’t fall into games if you want quality women.
Studio 54
Social dynamics influencing attraction with Neve and him
40 Days & 40 Nights
A good movie if you’re a ‘dating’ aficionado. I’m not going over the whole precept but
note how ‘Candy’ the superhot girl from work really becomes interested in him as other
women from work become interested in him because he’s ‘taken his power back’. See the
chain reaction effect? If I ‘worked’ in a place like that with female co-workers, wow..anyways...Also note how the hottie towards the beginning is interested in him over cocktails
and how she wants to get hers in the bedroom.
Gone With The Wind
A lot can be said about this movie; his unflappability (relational independence) and
dapper charm, her being feisty and independent making things full of more drama and
difficult to hold a relationship together. A real classic though.
Chasing Papi
Again, the dynamic of having several women interested in you end up competing with
each other and creates more attraction - but it has it’s drawbacks and can backfire. See
it for more of an idea how things can be for you and possible ramifications. Also there’s
nuns in the airport who see him and his confidence and almost faint. A great model of
self- confidence.
Spiderman 3
Where he walks (comically) confident in a suit down the street, some women gawk and
others are nonverbally interested.
What Women Want
This is a whole topic in itself for another discussion including the usual balance of power
switch at the end. The way Flo(?) the valet looks down at him is one example of what
women do that you might not catch...it’s like they’re capturing it all in one glance and
checking your shoes and back up real fast.
Hitch
I’ve already written articles on this already. Her lack of response and independence forces
men to think they have to have ‘game’ to connect with women like this. The answer is
be their equal and make a casual connection..anyways look at the hoops he has to jump
through that she even puts him through; not too far off for many guys. See how uptight
her riend is about dating and so forth? Women are going through a lot of issues as well.
Oh..clear attraction signs? Not that I remember offhand but they will show up the more
you’re in relationship with (independent) women like her walking with him, going on a
follow-up date, fake crying into the pillow when he walks back in.
Layer Cake
Sienna Miller in the bar scene and she gives him her number discreetly.
A key is to start looking for the signs of attraction and key yourself into that level of
communication. You will develop that awareness and intuition the more natural grounding you do and the more experience you have with women (esp. more natural women).
It’s an exciting world. Oh and I KNOW for a fact there are many scenes in movies that
I’m forgetting right now that have that special energy touch...I’ll keep compiling additions. It’s important that you be getting them yourself!
Some great alpha male role models:
Cary Grant
007
Clint Eastwood
George Clooney
Rhett Butler
Lee Van Cleef
Marlon Brando
80’s Patrick Swayze
Tom Cruise’s real world personality
Causality Movies
Back To The Future Trilogy
The Family Man
Mr. Destiny
Groundhog Day
& there are others..I’ll keep you posted..
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