ROOTS AND WINGS
THIRD GRADE
LESSON SEVEN
(Rev. 6/04)
I. Review
A. Pass out nametags.
B. Last time we discussed how to control our anger. By doing this, we gain control
over a situation instead of letting the person who angered us have the control.
II. Overview
A. Today we will be talking about Communicators. There are three types of
Communicators:
1. The Bully or Aggressive communicator: this person shouts, threatens, calls
names, throws a fit, is stormy and swears.
2. The Passive Communicator: this person does nothing, withdraws, allows
others to have control over them.
3. The Assertive Communicator: this person says how he/she feels and states
what he/she wants.
III. Program
B. Which one of these 3 types of communicators has high self-esteem? (Assertive).
C. Why do you think that (they do not feel the need to threaten or use force to get
across how they feel and what they want. They also do not allow others to take
control over them).
D. Role-play.
1. Give students the following scenario: You are trying to study, but your
brother or sister is playing the stereo so loudly you cannot think.
 Ask 3-4 students to demonstrate how an Aggressive or Bully would react?
(Remind them that there is no swearing)
 Ask 3-4 students to demonstrate how a Passive Communicator would
react.
 Ask 3-4 students to demonstrate how an Assertive Communicator would
react.
2. Pick 3 students from the class.
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Give each of them one of the cards that have the 3 types of communicators
on them.
Tell them to react to this situation as the type of communicator they are.
Have the rest of the class guess which type they are portraying.
Give them the following situation: There is someone sitting behind you in
a movie theater and they keep kicking your chair.
3. Repeat the role-playing with the following situations (Pick 3 different students
for each):
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You are a new kid on the block and you want to join a basketball game
being played on the playground.
You are standing in line for lunch and the kid behind you starts to push
you.
Your little brother or sister is bugging you to play a game with them, but
you have an important homework assignment you must finish.
Someone asks to borrow your brand new bike, and you really don’t want
to lend it out.
D. Scratched CD Technique
1. Sometimes it is hard to get your feelings across. If a good friend really wants
your bike and is insistent, what can you do? You can use the Scratched CD
technique. When a CD has a scratch in it, it plays the same section over and
over. The technique is the same. Let’s look at this situation:
Cathy and Sue meet each other. Cathy wants to borrow Sue’s new bike. Sue
doesn’t want to loan it and makes one excuse after another: might get a flat
tire, has to wash it, may need it herself, etc. For each excuse though, Cathy
has a solution. Sue is running out of excuses.
a. Ask students to raise their hand if they ever said yes when they wanted to
say no to a friend.
b. Tell students that the Scratched CD technique works great in this situation:
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First you have your rule or policy statement. A rule is a
statement for everyone.
Before the rule you make a kind statement which shows you have
some understanding but your policy sticks.
c. Let’s replay the bike scene. This time Sue will have a rule.
Cathy: Hi, Sue. You know my family is going on a bike ride this
afternoon, but my bike has a flat tire. So I thought, since we are such good
friends, you might loan me your bike.
Sue: I understand your problem, but I never loan my bike.
Cathy: Of course you do not...not to others...but we’re FRIENDS and
have been for a long time.
Sue: Being your friend is important to me, but I never loan my bike. I’m
sorry.
Cathy: What will I do? When my family leaves for the bike ride, I won’t
be able to go. Remember the time I loaned you my book so you could do
your homework?
Sue: I appreciated using your book, but my policy is I never loan my bike.
IV. Evaluate
A. What was Sue’s policy statement? (“I never loan my bike”).
B. What should we do before we repeat our policy statement (Say a kind statement
that shows you understand).
C. What is this technique called? (“The Scratched CD” technique).
V. Summary
Sue held in there with her rule. The important thing is to make a kind statement,
which may be different each time. After that you state your rule, which is always the
same. This technique can be used by anyone, no matter what communication style
they are used to using.
Have someone collect the nametags.
MATERIALS NEEDED:
1. 3 cards -- one has the word Assertive, one has the word Aggressive (Bully), and
one has the word Passive on it.
Purpose: Students will learn an assertive way to say no.
Objectives:
1. The student will learn the three types of communicators.
2. The student will experience or observe the different ways that the 3
communicators act through role-play.
3. The student will learn the “Scratched CD” technique.
Communicator Style Cards Instructions: CUT OUT EACH COMMUNICATOR
STYLE AND GLUE TO AN INDEX CARD.
Aggressive
Assertive
Passive
3RD Grade, Communicators