Remember that you only have to complete 2 Active Learning assignments. Choose
any 2 options offered during the semester. Each has its own due date.
Active Learning Assignment 4 (AL4)
Cohabitation & Marriage
Active Learning Papers must be typed, double-spaced, no cover page,
using MS Word or Word Perfect and saved as a .doc (but not .docx) file.
I won’t tell you how long your paper should be; just follow all of the instructions and
take as much time/space as you need to provide thoughtful, detailed answers to my
questions.
Reminder: ALs are your opportunity to demonstrate that you can apply
what you are learning from your assigned readings to a project. Don’t
even start an AL until you’ve read the related chapter(s).
The purpose of this assignment is for you to interview at least 5 individuals from at
least 3 different married or previously married couples and compare what they
say to your textbook’s discussion on cohabitation and marriage (Chapter 12) as well
as attraction and relationship skills (Chapter 4).
You can do this assignment even if you are already in a long-term, committed
relationship. It can be an opportunity to re-consider old assumptions and to
improve what you already have.
Read all of the instructions below before you begin.
Here is a checklist of whom you must (and must not) include in your survey
group:
___ At least 5 people total
___ Every individual must be married or previously married;
individuals who are just engaged or cohabiting but who have
never yet been married are not appropriate for this research project.
___ At least 2 people must be male; at least 2 must be female
___ Of the 5 individuals at least 1 must have experienced cohabitation
prior to marriage.
___ Of the 5 individuals at least 1 must have NOT cohabited prior
to marriage.
___ None of the people is yourself, your current or previous spouse.
___ You may interview one or both individuals from a couple, but
interviews should be conducted individually so that one partner’s
answers do not “contaminate” the other individual’s answers.
Provide their answers (if someone is a very long-winded talkers you can
summarize some of each answer) as an appendix to your paper. Your writing
begins with item #2.
1. Ask each person (Please keep their last names confidential.)
a.
Did you live together before marriage? If “NO,” skip to item c.
If “yes,” for how long did you cohabit prior to marriage?
b.
For those who lived together before marriage, why did you
initially choose cohabitation instead of marriage?
c.
For those who did not cohabit before marriage, why did you go
right into a marriage before living together first?
d.
All: What were some of the factors that convinced you that you
were ready to marry?
e.
All: What are some of the most important things that people
need to know about each other before they decide whether to
marry? Please provide some specific examples.
f.
All: What are some effective ways to learn those things about
each other? Please provide some specific examples.
g.
All: Is there anything you wish you had done differently prior to
marriage?
h.
All: Would you recommend cohabitation prior to marriage for
other couples? Why/why not?
2. After thinking about the survey results and reading Chapters 4 & 12 you
are ready to write your paper:
A. Use your textbook, the interviews and your own life experience to:
(1) Create a list of things (at least 10) you’d want to know
about a prospective marriage partner. Don’t skimp! If you
Consider this carefully and include things you read about
in Ch. 4 such as
a. Field of eligibles
b. Similarities
c. Styles of love
d. Indications of Consummate Love
e. Relationship Skills
f. Possible problem traits/behaviors/issues
And From Ch. 12, things that indicate their attitudes and
expectations about marriage that may signal potential
success or failure in marriage.
Include the things you want in a relationship as well
as the “deal breakers.”
(2) In addition to having serious conversations with your
potential partner about these things, what are some
other ways you could learn these things about your
partner if you are not cohabiting? (Spending some
nights together or vacationing together does not count as
cohabiting; cohabiting means you live at the same
address full time.)
For each item on your list discuss at least one
behavior or situation you could observe (remember, “an
action is worth a thousand words”) during the course of
normal courtship that would indicate to you whether or
not your partner has this trait. Also consider people in
their lives that you should meet and situations/behaviors
you’d want to observe between your partner and these
people. Include situations with people in your own life
you’d like to share with your partner previous to deciding
that “this is the one.”
B. Use your textbook, the interviews and your own life experience to:
1) Create a list of pros (benefits) and a list of cons (risks or
problems of cohabitation prior to marriage. Be sure to
include issues brought up in Chapter 12. Don’t skimp on your
list; really give this some thought.
2) Which would you choose and why? Remember that you
don’t need to live together to learn about your partner, so
provide some other reasons if your choice is cohabitation. If
you choose cohabitation how will you avoid the risk mentioned
in Ch. 12?
3. Be sure to include your interview notes with your paper. Typed
or handwritten is fine. (Online students, obviously these have to be typed!)
Show me that you made an earnest attempt to really get your participants
talking thoughtfully about the topic. If their answers were really long, you
can paraphrase what they said.
This is how to submit your work:
On-Campus students –
Step 1 – Write your paper after completing the assigned activities. Write about them
in order and number them. Do not write your paper in essay form; just follow
along, item by item.
Step 2 – Simply bring a printed copy of your paper to class by the due date. (And,
“No, I do not have a stapler in the classroom, so carry your own.)
WebCT students Step 1 – Write your paper after completing the assigned activities. Write about them
in order and number them. Do not write your paper in essay form; just follow
along, item by item.
Step 2 – Save your paper in a full-version program such as MS Word or Word
Perfect; brief programs such as MS Works or Wordpad cannot be read by WebCT. If
you only have access to MS Works or Wordpad at home then you may need to plan
ahead to use a friend’s computer or to use the computer lab on campus.
When you save your paper, use the filename AL4_YourName. (Insert your own
name, of course!) Remember…I need a .doc file (or .rtf or .html) and not .docx!
Step 3 – Enter WebCT email and compose a new email to me with the subject line
reading AL4_YourName. Did you notice that your filename and subject line are the
same? It’s all part of my grand plan. 
Step 4 – Just say “hello” or something else very brief in the text box of the email.
The important thing is that you send your file to me as an attachment. Follow all
three steps: Click on BROWSE to find your file on your computer. After you click on
it your filename will appear in the window between “Attachments” and the BROWSE
button. Then you must click on ATTACH FILE, after which your filename will move
from the little window to the space below it that used to say “There are no files
attached.” Once your file name shows up there you can click on SEND.
Step 5 – Please be patient while I take time to get all of the AL papers graded. I’ll
send you an email with your score and comments about your paper.
That’s it! 